Receiving child support payments is a major worry for Christian single parents, who often struggle to keep their kids well fed and clothed. It’s no wonder then that custodial single parents rank collecting child support payments ahead of concerns like dating . Of course, when it comes to child support payments, these single parents are not alone.
Skirting Child Support Payments: A Worldwide Problem
According to ACES (The Association for Children for Enforcement of Support) only half of US custodial single parents who are supposed to receive child support payments actually do so. Folks, that’s a lot of deadbeat dads and moms getting away without paying child support. And I suspect these numbers on child support payments in places like the UK, Australia and Canada are similar.
Child Support Payments Enforcement
Many non-custodial parents get away without worrying about having to make child support payments because the party who has residential custody simply gives up trying to collect in family court.
Family court can be a scary, stressful, frustrating , money wasting and time consuming proposition. I should know, because I worked there for over 26 years. But it’s the only system we have, and can be used for good if you know how to do it.
Therefore, if you are a Christian single parent at your wit’s end over getting child support payments, please don’t give up to discouragement and depression Let me instead suggest a positive course of action:
Educate Yourself
Get to know your rights regarding child support payments and the family law in your area. The following sites offer some great resources:
In the UK: www.csa.gov.uk/
In the US: www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/index.html
In Canada: www.justice.gc.ca/en/ps/sup/
In Australia: www.csa.gov.au/
Take action by filing a child support enforcement complaint
If you don’t find satisfaction with child support payments through the courts alone, there are private companies who can help you and the court track down the deadbeat. Here are a few off the top of my head:
NationalChildSupport.com
SupportKids.com
SupportCollectors.com
While most of these do not charge up front fees, they will catch charge between 30 and 50% of the recouped child support payments. Pray about wether this makes sense for you.
Remember The Promises Of God’s Provision
Ultimately, human agencies are not the answer for your needs. Remember, your saviour, Jesus, will never leave you nor forsake you. Your Heavenly Father knows what you need, and promises to provide for you and the kids. So if the child support payments don’t come in, let’s believe Him together that he will provide what you and the kids need some other way. Okay?
Bible Verse of the Day
“I was young and now I am old,
yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken
or their children begging bread. They are always generous and lend freely; their children will be blessed.”
Psalm 37:25,36
Are you a Christian single parent with something to share about child support payments?
12 Comments
Kerry
Hello. Im a Cgristian single father (parent) of one, and I went through a very nasty divorce with my ex wife. I was paying 400.00 a month in child support payments according to the courts. Her mother claims to know Christ, and yet was so petty and vindictive asked for a frame, that had a picture of the Last Supper. It reminds me of the mother of the woman that wanted John the baptist’s head on a charger, I have not seen my child in over three years, as her mother was so vindictive, Im still paying the 400.00 a month in child support payments, as I cannot afford to hire an attorney to help. By Sept of this yeat I will have paid over twenty one thousand dollars in child support, and have not seen my daughter yet, I hope you print this story. as you make it seem that woman can do no wrong and its always the MANS fault!
Christine
I wish my baby’s father wanted to see my six month old daughter. We are not together and he told me that God said to put her up for adoption and that I should listen to him because he is more spiritually mature than me, but if I decided to keep her, than I should trust God to do it by myself without any financial help from him. It’s hard trying to do it by myself financially, but it’s also hard to try and make someone do something that there heart is not into doing.
Diane
I am a mother of one.I had my daughter out of wedlock with a married man.We had a short fling.When I was 3months preganant I met a wonderful man.He has been with my daughter and me since she was born he was with me at delivery.Her biological Father kept bullying me and said he was going to get custody odf my daughter.Finally I saw a lawywer and he sees her one overnight per week.He hasn’t tried for more which is okay.I am a believer and I turned him in because he is so far behind on child support,but I have given him chances to negotiate but he refuses to meet with me.Well now he is furious because he just found out I turned him in.I don’t know if it was the right thing to do.I am so nervius because he likes to bully me,so far just with words.Should I drop the case or pursue.Please God talk to me through someone because I don’t know the right thing to do. I have only been a believer since I became pregnant and I know it was wrong having a child out of wedlock.Does somebody have an answer or suggestions.Thankyou Diane
Jodi
Dear Diane, you were so faithful to God in having your daughter. It couldn’t have been an easy decision for you. Your daughter’s biological father has a responsibility to her. Emotionally, spirutually and (YES) financially. Just because she was conceived out of wedlock doesn’t make her any less a gift, or any less deserving. I can understand the temptation to run the other direction and avoid the possibility of being bullied. I remember when my EX used to get me on the phone and rip me apart. It would cut to my soul and I would end up in tears. We have 2 children together so I couldn’t sever all communication. With God’s strength we can face anyone. One day I prayed for the Holy spirit to give me the right words. When he started in on me, I calmly said “I am not your wife, you have no authority over me and you are not allowed to speak to me that way” and I hung up. Anytime he would start I would politely end the conversation. He doesn’t even bother trying those tactics anymore. That isn’t to say that in your situation he may try MANY times to intimidate you. God is always at our side with us in our battles.
Read Psalm 59. It is all about God’s promise to help us be victorious over anyone who comes again God’s children. In times of trouble HE is our refuge!
God Bless,
Jodi
Mayrae
Diane I made that mistake 10 years ago, I dropped the Child Support case just cause i did not want to deal with him. Sweety don’t close the case save the money for your child’s college for your present needs, don’t close it because if he does move out of state or far away it’s going to be a headache to open it, You don’t feel the heavy financial burden too much now, but think about your child’s future. Be blessed and be strong, take up your cross and serve HIM in spirit and in truth!
clarissa
this is a tough issue -one that I am struggling with as well -it seems unGodly to pursue child support -you can’t get blood from a stone -but yet it is disgusting that someone would be more concerned with their own extravagant needs than meeting the basic needs of a child -listen for the prompting of the Holy Spirit and God -I believe the answer is there
Chad
Some soldiers were questioning him, saying, “And what about us, what shall we do?” And he said to them, “Do not take money from anyone by force, or accuse anyone falsely, and be content with your wages.” Luke 3:14
Child support is leagalized theft, the courts let them steel the child and then to rub salt in the would they steel the paycheck too. not very christian like.
Amy
Chad, I don’t think child support is legalized theft. The man contributed to bringing the child into the world and as a father is responsible for the raising of that child. My ex continues not to pay child support but bullies and threatens because he is an attorney and continues to get away with it and knows he can. He is the reason we are divorced. He chose affairs and drugs over his marriage. This should not allow him to not pay the support of his children. I stayed home for 7 years at his insistence to raise children and gave up my career. Jesus also said render unto Caesar’s what is Caesar’s.
Charlotte
I am a single mother of three. My ex-husband has not seen or even tried to see our children in 3 years. I was going through the court system (child support enforcement) for years. I use to go into my Sunday school class every Sunday and ask the other ladies to pray with me so I can get some emotional and/or financial support from their father. After about 2 years of praying with the group. I finally stopped asking the group to pray for us. I told them that I am putting it in God’s hands. If I am not getting payment, then there must me an underlying reason that only God can understand. It was about a week after I made that statement to my prayer group that child support started coming in.
We didn’t even know how to even contact their dad. He had totally cut off all ties with them, and let me say, I always encouraged him to have a relationship with them. Finally, he was going to court trying to get his monthly obligation lowered. Well, in order for him to do that he had to send a court letter with HIS return address on it. It was that letter that encouraged our older son, who is 10 years old, to write to his dad. After 3 months of checking the mail consistently, My son received a letter from his father. He was so excited. His father had promised to call him on a particular day. Well, when that day rolled around, the call did not come in. I had a devastated little boy. i do not know what to do to make their father see that he is causing so much grief to his children. I pray for him.
Concerned Dad
What about a Dad struggling whether or not to collect child support from a mother? Is there a difference there? Sure, the parents have an obligation to care for a child, perhaps the father more so, however it’s hard to disagree with Chad (Luke 3:14). Also, Amy yes Jesus said render unto Caesar’s what is Caesar’s, however everything belongs to God really (nothing really belongs to Caesar, us, or anyone…we are only stewards/managers of what really belongs to God and what he has given us to steward/manage), and I believe that was the point Jesus was making. So I am not sure if it is our job to force/convict someone to help/pay, but really it’s God’s. Right? Wrong? I feel this is similar to the problem of socialism programs for the poor, etc. We should be charitable and help those in need, but not forcibly. Forced charity is not charity. It’s stealing. Please reply and if possible with scripture. Thank you.
Bradley Thomas
I am sitting at a computer, and have been so for the past nine months at the local library, typing in work in the city and state, and no matter what I try to do, I am ruled out of work in the city. I’ve tried numerous times to achieve this, accomplish this, and every step is leading not to so much a new pair of shoes, an article of clothing, nor a new outfit or anything for the children I am to pay child support for. I keep resorting to yelling at God whenever this trash happens to me, and I even try to have His neck rang until HE lets me have work to send the children money. I’ve even tried even so much as being thankful that HE has created them, and that the children are a gift from Him, but more oft than not, I am left with the same stupid accursed drag that will not get off my back. I hate this so much, and I understand, that as long as I have not work, I cannot even send the children christian literature, nor even so much as other things like soap or deodorant or a toothbrush nor toothpaste to them. I just desire to pay child support for them. God is the God that Presides over child support, and tis really God that is owed child support, but I know that HE and His adversaries are blocking my way. HE wants me to be some bigshot devil slayer, but I detest that HE neglects their child support, rather His child support where I have not life nor limb nor strength nor anything else to obtain such a stupid stupid thing as devil slaying. I haven’t even done anything like this before and I think this is stupidly grandiose. These are the stupid thoughts that keep infesting within my mind that I totally reject. All I desire is to pay child’s support, that HIs children, let me repeat, His children, dearly need. Sure they could be in any circumstance that their needs are provided for, but as long as I do not pay child support, I count this as dehydrated starving unclothed naked and unloved children. I could about flip right now for how many years this has gone on. I’ve had my mind wiped, memory erased, and much else to the point I absolutely detest every single day and even that I still try to attend church and HE totally does not let me pay child support. This leaves nothing but dehydrated, starved, torn children that know pretty much nothing of their father. Even worse, my destined one, the girl God intended me to be with, is married to another in the city. Girl has two children with the man, and I’m stuck here in stupid prison to where I get not work, I get not school, HE runs me homeless and I will not tolerate this. Children are to receive the aid that they need. I’ve tried so much as following advocating for life against abortion since I was a child, but to what avail? Tis not to be vain and empty, but this has quite led me to nothing. I detest this stupid grandiose devil slaying vampire slayer junk that keeps repeatedly coming to my mind. I tried to pray against evil when I was a child, but struck by His Wrath so many times, I’m pretty senseless to the point that I wonder if I’m even capable to hold a line of work. This is stupid disgraceful and right now I can see that the enemy is allowed to read my post. I would like God’s neck wrought upon until He lets me work for their child support. They need this and I will not put up with Him doing this to me so many days. I spent nine stupid months doing absolutely nothing but being destroyed by false self pleasure stuck on ssi and ssdi, even before i had two lines of work whilst one went away the other went away shortly afterward. I was aiming to work to get off ssi and ssdi, and now this trash? Completely without? Sure bless Almighty God, but still, suffer not the little children for they alone are the light of the world. Its not only God, but His adversaries the same. I just detest what HE’S trying to run me into, homeless, poor, when work is well available, HE’S owed child support, and all HE wants to do is walk me about the city doing what? Dude does not even let me do much, and when I do something christianly HE instantaneously has me opposed, riddiculed and guess what? I still have not even gotten to send two cents their way to put towards their college.
Jay Moss
I am a single father, I got behind on my payments of support after loosing a job i had for 15 years, my disabilities took a turn for the worse and became homeless for two years. I wanted joint custody of my children.. that didnt happen, no fault of my own at all, just no money as my ex controlled all of the financial aspects of our marriage. I find the term Deadbeat to be very insensitive of all struggling parents just trying to do the best they can. Its completely judgmental and destructive and demoralizing to those really struggling. Does anyone really want to go to bed at night knowing they have a financial debt over their heads. Second it takes two parents to raise a child, just because you have children together does not mean an instant paycheck. The support is to provide half of the needs for the child while the other parent should cover the other half.. If you dont want to cover half.. fine then give over custody to the other parent which i am sure they would be glad to raise they children without any help from you.. Micah 6:8 He hath shown thee, O man, what is good: and what doth the Lord require of thee but to do justly and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? See our issue is not resentment against the ex, nor the courts for the injustice.. its because we dont want to see our children experience the same judgment, condemnation, hurt, outcast, the lack of spending time with their children, the lack of financial resources in paying for two households. Because we have this love and mercy for others we pray that God would shut down the child support industry that also robs every tax payer from their social security through title IV-D of the social security act for every dollar that’s collected in child support the state gets matching funds in the collection of child support. Therefore this is a big business, that’s nothing about actual support of a child but uses kids for cash.. Its a much bigger problem then people understand on just the surface..