How does one get over unrequited love as a Christian Single? In my personal experience, unrequited love is like death, only worse. Unrequited love occurs when the person you absolutely are “head over heels” in love with does not reciprocate the same desire and feelings. Can you think of anything more emotionally and spiritually painful than unrequited love, or being ghosted by the one you love?
At least in death, a Christian single is done with pain. In unrequited love, the pain just goes on and on. Sigh. If it’s really true love, the victim of unrequited love has a long process of working through the rejection, heartbreak, and depression. Many singles who have been hurt in this way in the past also have to overcome fears of entering any future dating relationship.
One of the main things that helped me heal from unrequited love was remembering my Saviour also suffered from a form of unrequited love when he gave Himself on the cross. That’s why he can sympathize and empathize with us in this area. Can you imagine the pain He bore for us?
Tips to Deal with unrequited love
- Acknowledge Your Emotions. When dealing with unrequited love, it’s crucial to acknowledge and process your emotions. Allow yourself to grieve and express your feelings to God Otherwise, you will be carrying negative emotional baggage through life. The Bible reminds us that God is near to the brokenhearted and that He collects our tears. Pouring out your heart to Him in prayer can provide comfort and help you find solace.
- Seek Support from Your Christian Community. Remember that you’re not alone in your struggle. Reach out to trusted Christian friends, mentors, or a supportive Christian singles group within your church. Sharing your journey with others who understand your faith can provide empathy, guidance, and prayer support. They can offer a listening ear and offer wisdom from their own experiences or biblical insights.
- Focus on Self-Care. During this challenging time, it’s important to prioritize self-care. Take care of your physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy, such as spending time in nature, reading uplifting books, or pursuing hobbies. Make time for prayer, meditation, and studying the Bible, allowing God’s Word to bring comfort and guidance. By nourishing your soul, you’ll find strength and resilience to heal.
- Surrender Your Pain to God. As a Christian, surrendering your pain to God is essential. Place your unrequited love and all associated feelings at the feet of Jesus. Trust that He knows what is best for you and that He has a perfect plan for your life. Letting go and surrendering control allows you to find peace and acceptance, knowing that God’s love is greater than any earthly relationship.
- Renew Your Identity in Christ. Unrequited love can often lead to questioning our self-worth and identity. Remind yourself of your value in God’s eyes. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, and your worth is not determined by the love or validation of others. Spend time meditating on God’s love for you, and allow His truth to redefine your identity. Embrace your unique purpose and trust that God has someone who will appreciate and reciprocate your love in His perfect timing.
- Engage in Purposeful Living. Redirect your focus and energy towards living a purposeful life. Use this season to grow spiritually, pursue your passions, and serve others. Seek opportunities to volunteer or engage in ministries that align with your interests. By investing your time and talents in meaningful endeavors, you’ll experience fulfillment and a sense of purpose that transcends the pain of unrequited love.
- Embrace God’s Timing and Plan. Lastly, have faith in God’s timing and His plan for your life. Trust that He is working all things together for your good, even in matters of the heart. Remain patient and continue to seek His guidance. Understand that His timing is perfect, and the love story He has written for you may unfold in ways you never imagined. Stay open to His leading, and let Him guide you to the love story that will bring you joy, fulfillment, and His glory.
Recovering from unrequited love and the friend zone as a Christian single is a process that requires time, self-care, and a deep reliance on God. By acknowledging your emotions, seeking support, practicing self-care, surrendering your pain, renewing your identity in Christ, engaging in purposeful living, and embracing God’s timing and plan, you can find healing and move forward with hope. Remember, God’s love is unending, unlike others who could fall out of love with you, His plans for your life are filled with goodness. Trust in Him, and He will lead you to a love that sure passes all expectations.
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28 Comments
Asha
I am going through this and it is extremely painful. It IS like dying and thanks for understanding about resenting the Bible being preached at you during times of intense distress.
After all, the Bible also applies to those other parties involved in this situation so how can I personalise it, in any way? Given they are happy and I am not, it seems the Bible applies even more so to them, as they are the ones who have experienced love, acceptance, fruition.
The complicating thing is that I thought he liked me and he gave me cause to believe he did with his conversation, body language and eye contact etc.
David Butler Author
Dear Asha:
Thanks for your comment, and we are praying for the pain you are experiencing with unrequited love. I want to refer you to the life of Job. It looked bad in the outset…but God worked it out all for good in the end. Please hang on to Jesus during this trial…Keep in touch
David
Amanda
I completely understand, I am going through it right now and some days, I’m ok and sometimes I am just so depressed about it. I am a young woman and I was raised to believe that if the man is interested in a woman, than HE’LL pursue her. Right?
Nana
Unrequited love does feel horrible. It feels like you’re dying. This has got to be one of the worst anybody can suffer. It feels worse than depression. Unfortunately, I’m going through it. When the object of your affection doesn’t feel the same way or doesn’t reciprocate your feelings it can tear you apart. I have never felt so miserable in my life. There are days when I feel fine but most of the time I feel intense sadness. It is so overwhelming. There are times when it seems I can’t function or I can’t go on. I remember when it was hard for me to concentrate at work and I just wanted to go home and crawl into bed. One day I felt so severely depressed I couldn’t even finish doing my hair and just went straight to bed. I realize it’s time for me to move on.
Mike
Unrequited love? I’m in this situation myself, she was one of my closest friends and it does hurt, and has for sometime now… but to equate this to the feelings of death or dying “only worse,” I think is, pardon my directness, ridiculous. If this is really how you feel, there might be some underlying issues and good, Christian counseling might be something to really consider.
The world is a pretty big place and people everywhere are really suffering, losing children and parents to sickness and disease, impoverished and just trying to survive, battling severe mental illnesses and being imprisoned simply for wanting to worship God, unrequited love to them would be a luxury of a problem…
Susan
Mike,
about unrequited love feelings, just because you don’t feel things as intensely as others does not mean that you are the correct standard and that others are wrong because they deviate from the way you react.
Different people and personality types differ greatly in the way they react to loss. For example, my mother committed suicide when I was five years old. Therefore, losses are harder for me than for many people. Yes, there are times I do feel like dying over my unrequited love. Because to me, a life without love is hardly worth living. It’s hard to keep going on doing things without a partner to share life with.
I am aware that others suffer greatly in other countries and here in the USA. However, that sometimes doesn’t help a lot when you live and work with mostly happily married people without those horrible circumstances!
I don’t think people’s feelings can be written off as “ridiculous”. To label them that way just adds to their pain. It’s like kicking a fellow soldier when they are down.
Doris
WHEN DOES IT STOP HURTING? WHEN WILL MY HEART REALIZE THAT IT’S TOO LATE FOR ANYTHING TO HAPPEN BETWEEN US? It’s been four years and I still can’t forget him. I try praying to turn my thoughts away from him and towards God, but it doesn’t work. I dream about him. As if it weren’t torturous enough for thoughts of him to invade my waking life, his effigy haunts my dreams.
Mark
Mark:
Unrequited love is experienced not only in singleness, but also in marriage. After 29 years of working at being a Christian husband who has tried to love his wife as Christ loves the Church I am still waiting for love to come back to me. There are many good and understandable reasons for my wife not being able to love, but my heart still hurts and longs for it. The way that I am working through it is to remember that I have turned wanting love into a god and that is idolatry. I trust God with the longing of my heart for genuine intimacy on every level and worship only Him. I will honor God with my life and my marriage whether or not I get what I need.
fabiolah
In to unrequited love, he said loved me with all his heart, he even said that i was his rib and getting married was a definite in our future…a year had pass and he got delivered by Christ, he called off the relationship, stating that his love for me is not the will of God..(i was crushed)..this situation also make me wanna worship God more in ways i never thought i could, im even considering baptism within this month…God gave me a revelation that he and I should make this relationship work as the Man of God and the Woman of God…every time i pray to God for me not to feel the way i do in this unrequited love of mine, he only made my feelings stronger and deeper for the guy, which is the reason why i feel that it is the will of God for us to be together again…SHOULD I CONTINUE TO FIGHT FOR HIS LOVE OR SHOULD I STOP? what do you think?
Jonathan Tay
I am going through this now, and unfortunately not for the very first time. It’s like a broken carousel that never stops: it goes on and on and on, again and again and again it goes through the same cycle. This time it involves a girl who, I had earlier been told, ‘didn’t want to have a boyfriend yet’. But I should have learnt from experience what this meant. I had been in love with her for three years, through tears and pain that I often just had to swallow. Just yesterday I found out in perhaps among the most horrible way possible that she had just officially entered a relationship with another guy ON THAT DAY. I felt like I was a worm but also I was angry. I contacted my pastor/close friend and he asked a few of my other close friends to accompany me, for fear I might hurt myself. I really wished I could just die – yet again. I spent last night crying my eyes out and screaming like a lunatic. Many a word has been said to comfort and/or advise me. But still, the pain lingers and it gnaws at my heart, tearing it asunder and breaking it apart. With a sentence from her revealing that she now had a boyfriend, my world was turned upside down and shattered into pieces. God has a plan, my friend gently told me. I believe it, but I just can’t see through all this pain through to what plan He might have. Maybe my stupidity has spoiled his plan?
Ruth
Unrequited love :-I am equally coping with this problem.. I have been bottling it up for a long time, drowning into much distress,probably the same as most of you here, maybe just a different scenario.
We have been friends for a few years, and I sincerely give my deepest thanks to the Lord for giving us that blessing to stay in touch as friends. Yet, it was undeniable that somehow, although we were friends, it felt as if the same secret affection towards each other was devouring us. No doubt, I felt as if we were secretly drawn to each other. It was very clear to me that he liked me alot, and I liked him very much too. But somehow, we refrained from confessing to each other. I don’t know if he ever saw the sincere likeness that I had for him that eventually flourished into love. Throughout the time we spent together, he somehow showed me that he liked being around me, hanging out with me and what not. Sad to say, I couldn’t help it one day, that I poured out what my heart had been witholding for so long. I did it out of frustration, and forgive me, anger, because he appeared to be shutting it to himself. I prayed to the Lord everyday, hoping that HE would give me an answer on whether or not he would feel the same way i did. He admitted to me that he only loved me as a friend and nothing else. It hurts to digest those words, yet his constant demand for me to be around with him when he is alone and bored, makes me wonder. He told me he doesn’t want to get into a relationship ( I accepted that), but his treatment towards me sends a different signal. Let’s just say that we are like friends for one moment, and for another moment, we are like lovers.
I am praying, and I think the best decision is that I stop seeing him . I believe God has a plan. I should stop seeing him shouldn’t I ? I find it hard to do, but yet it’s only going to invite more pain to myself. I pray that God will help me through this, help me, forget him, because I cannot.
mimi
My unrequited love has lasted nearly 10 years, and I often feel as though I cannot handle the torment anymore-if it had not been form my child, and believing that suicide leads to hell, I would have ended my life a long time ago. My child’s father has sent me on an abusive emotional roller-coaster since I met him, but I still love him as much as I did when we were together. But he is my heart, and I cant think past him. I haven’t seen him for 2 years now due to a raging dispute that has not been resolved despite prayer. For most of the 10 years I have prayed to God, and asked for my love for him to be taken away- but it just refines over time. I have tried hypnotherapy, family therapy, medication etc- no joy; Had deliverance prayers at church to remove the soul-tie, but nothing has a lasting effect on my passionate love for him. But soul ties from previous relationships in my past have been nullified in the spirit successfully with complete closure. He wont reply to our letters-gifts-pictures we send, but when I last saw him, his eyes were saying “I’m sorry”. My brother gave me a book of prayers last week (maybe a hint) and I realized that the only prayer I hadn’t prayed was a request for us to be re-united in love, and that he would come home. So I prayed that open lines of communication would be given to us, and that evil stones would be rolled away from our lives. I believe it has to be either option A) that we weren’t meant to be together and that prayers to remove the soul tie will eventually succeed, or B) that we were ordained to be together and a prayer said in love will bring forth fruit. Are there any other options/possibilities? I have repented of my sins, I believe God hears all prayers, feels the pain in my heart, and the ruminations in my mind every day about him. I would never again love any man more than God- that is the lesson I have learnt, and I would never fornicate again – he would have to marry me. Please pray for me, I think he loves me, I just don’t know, but its killing me slowly (emotionally & spiritually); When I had asked him if he loved me he said nothing, when I asked him to tell me he didn’t love me he also said nothing. I am not strong enough. I know many people who have several kids with different people, and pick up the pieces and move on with no major dent to their future love life. But that’s not me. I have been unable to let anyone else into my heart, as much as I have tried in the past; its now a waste of peoples time to get involved with anyone new. As my heart is full with him, and I have nothing to give anyone else- and I don’t want to hurt innocent persons while I am love sick with what appears to be unrequited love? How do I get on with my life? Have I ruined it?
Jodi
Dear Mimi,
As one of the moderators here, I can feel your pain when I read your comment. It is one of this life’s most hurtful circumstances when we feel like the deep love we have for a person isn’t returned. I can understand how much you want to make this relationship work, especially since you have a child together.
You have been going through this for 10 years and it sounds like an emotional roller coaster. Maybe it is time to get off the ride? It is virtually impossible for people to change. Notice I said “virtually” They have to want to change but that still isn’t enough. Without God we are powerless. We can try on our own , we can be very sincere, but ultimately we are doomed to failure with the power we have in Jesus.
I don’t get the impression from your comment that your EX is Christian. You are doing the right thing by pouring your heart out to God. He hears you and wants to comfort you. I do not beleive you have a soul tie to this man. I believe that your heart is breaking and it feels that way. Pray to God for the strength. and wisdom He will give it to you. Sometimes He delivers us from the fire, and sometimes He delivers us through the fire. We may have to endure a pain, but we come out of the fire refined like silver or gold.
God has someone very special for you. As I write this the holy spirit just gave me that feeling. You need to be open to receive this blessing and not distracted with your old relationship. I will be praying for you.
God Bless,
Jodi
hannah
i am like crazy about this guy. hes a christian and so am i. were the same age and we were both homeschooled. hes very attractive and im ok too i guess lol but the only problem is that he doesnt even know i exist and when he came to my work and came to my register to check out a card i couldnt even remember the work envalope.. i feel lonely somtimes especialy since all of my friends are getting married and i just cant seem to find a christian young man. i dont know what to do. i guess its a true story of unrequited love
Sarah
Hi
God is good. He leads exactly where I need to go 🙂 Ever present.
I have been single for 6 years – and in all that time it hasn’t made me feel lonely or bothered by it, I was bringing up my daughter, finding a home, etc. The necessary busy’ness.
I live 2 hours away from family, although they are not all Christians I am happier with my like minded christian family.
I have been feeling lonely. Now it’s an awful, sad feeling – although I don’t dwell there – it does have a very gloomy depressing feeling to it. I have realised it can make you quite vulnerable to making wrong choices. I am beyond that ‘feeling’ but I really don’t like that feeling of lonliness.
Any inspiration with regards this. I miss being near my family but moving may not be right, spiritually. Spiritually I feel that I don’t have a home on earth. Sort of a funny place. I am opening up to the idea that it might be nice to meet a soulmate.
God bless
Sarah
Jodi
Dear Hannah,
I think it is awesome that you have your eyes on a Christian guy. Have you tried just saying “hello” or making small talk? It could be that he is just as shy and feeling as awkward as you are. You don’t have to be inapproriate or come off aggressive by just being polite. Even if he isn’t the right one for you, God has someone He has already chosen for you. Pray that He would give you the eyes to see and ears to hear when that special one is near. It can be diffult when you see all your friends around you experience something that you want so badly for yourself. It may seem like at eternity right now, but if you are patient and know that it is always if His time (and not ours) you will always be grateful that you waited for the right one.
God Bless,
Jodi
Christian Singles Blog Moderator
Jodi
Dear Sarah,
My heart is so close to yours it gives me chills. In my own spiritual journey I have found myself feeling like an alien living on this planet. You look around and things do not look the same as they once did. People who you once spent so much time with, you no longer want to be around at all. I struggled with this quite a bit. God revealed to me that the reason I didn’t feel like I belonged to this world is becasue I don’t. We don’t. We live on this earth, but ultimately we are citizens of heaven. That is the Holy Spirit that has taken up residence in your heart. Once that happens you are changing from the inside out.
God is so good! You have let Him in and He has filled you up for the past 6 years. He has been your bridegroom and you have allowed Him to penetrate your heart. AMEN.
You sound like a very positive person all around. Even when you start feeling lonely, you don’t want to “dwell in it” You have been dealing with the necessary “busy ness”, is it possible that now that you are more settled you have more time to think about your family that is 2 hours away? Only you can be certain of where it is best for you to live. Pray for God to reveal to you where He has planned for you. Follow your heart and the Holy Spirit in you to let you know what feels right. It is Ok to love your family and feel more comfortable in your family of believers.
When we are on the treadmill of life and going along it does great things to keep our minds off our troubles. If you have some more time in your busy life now, maybe it’s a good time to get involved in something positive. Maybe even a ministry to help other single parents like you? I sense a strength in you, unlike most in your position.
Sometimes when we are so strong and holding it together perfectly that wears on us. It is exhausting emotinally and physically. We are taking care of our children, working, running our house. We need a break, when will someone take care of us? It is difficult. It is lonely. You can be surrounded by a great support group, church, good friends and still feel like the lonliest person on earth, when we are doing it all alone.
Until God shows you the soulmate He has for you lean Him and don’t try to do this all on your own. Matthew 11:30 Jesus tells us “My yolk is easy and my burden is light”
God often speaks to us in a whisper, so we need to listen carefully. If we do, our burden will be light. He wants to help us. When we are feeling lost and confused we are to put our trust in Him and not rely on our own limitations (Proverbs 3:5).
Take some time and try to read some of Songs of Songs. It is one of my favorite books in the bible that describes God’s love for us and the intimate relationship He longs for with us.
You are going through a pit right now, but this isn’t going to last. He will get you through this.
God Bless,
Jodi
Christian Singles Blog moderator
Confused
Hi guys,
Does anyone know any verses that are good to dwell on to help you focus on the Lord and not the person for whom you care? I am 26 yo, never had a boyfriend. I made a lot of stupid decisions with guys looking for validation when I was younger and I have several close Christian guy friends now. In general, I really struggle as to why guys would want to be good friends with me or want to try to sleep with me, but none ever want to date/marry me. I feel that I am under a huge amount of attack from the enemy, as well, but I have fallen for my closest guy friend. I have had many crushes in my life, but this feels worse. We spend way too much time together. I had to talk to him and set boundaries because it was feeling too much like a relationship (we were talking for hours on the phone every night and falling asleep on the phone). I don’t want to lose my friend and I know he doesn’t feel the same way, but this is distracting me from Jesus and causing problems in our friendship. Please share thoughts and verses, especially in light of the fact that I think my feelings are aggravated by the attack I have been under (in several areas for the last several weeks). Help?!
grace
To Confused,
I am in a very very similar situation. I have been in love with my best guy friend for 4 years and we have even been in an on and off relationship for the last 2 years. At the end of the day, he does not have the same feelings for me as I do for him. It’s been very hard for me to accept this especially because not only do we talk all the time, we also were romantically involved. It’s hard to move on after all that we have been through. We are still very good friends but I don’t know how to be his friend while at the same time, move on. It always hurts me when he says he is so sure that I am not the one for him or when he is interested in other girls. I have been praying to God to help me move on and believe in Him only, instead of chasing after this unrequited love and hoping that it will be better…
Anna
Hi, I came across this site recently and it’s comforting to see so many people in the same boat as me.
I have been in love with a friend for 10+years ever since we were little. He’s shown signs that he liked me over the course of the time. I kept on telling myself that I was just imagining things but I don’t know whether a guy would hug, poke, hold a someone’s face, pat a someone’s head, kiss someone’s forehead if they are only “friends”. There was one time one or two years ago when he did say he liked me and asked me to wait for him until he’s done with studies. But then he went back on his words…I think he was confused to whether he liked me as a sister type or a gf type. He went back with his ex gf whom he’s been dating for a number of years but they tend to be on and off a lot. We also do praise and worship together since we both are really good with music. His family doesn’t particularly like his gf, one reason being that she’s not christian (I think she’s from another religion). On the other hand, his whole family adore me which I think gives him a little pressure. I have to act as if I’m not hurt and so I go on smiling, laughing like normal around him but I really want to “dislike” him. But seeing him constantly makes it worse when I try to forget. Do you think I should go to another church? But my family’s been there ever since I was little so wouldn’t it be weird if I suddenly move by myself? The main problem now is that my mum has become increasingly worried about my single status. I’ve never dated before and I don’t seem to take an interest in any other guys. I’ve tried to accept other guys but I just can’t bring myself to fall for them no matter what because I still can’t let go of him. To make matters worse, whenever I think I’m feeling like he’s no longer in my heart, I either have nightmares about losing him or I have dreams about being together with him. Why does God have to continue to bring him into my presence? We are still good friends and I try to minimise our contact. On some occassions he will flirt with me but I think he’s just trying to be funny or cute to loosen me up a bit since I get a little tense whenever I’m around him. My mum already has a clue that it’s because I can’t forget him so she’s threatened me that if I continue to reject other guys then she’s going to find an opportunity to talk with his mum. She told me that he might not know that I still like him. I really don’t want this to happen because it will definitely give him pressure and I don’t think things will turn out well when parents step in. The only solution I can think of is to force myself to get a bf regardless of my feelings….What should I really do now?
Seeking Advice
This seems like the right forum for my question. I know in my mind what to do, but how can I make my heart realize it?
I met my best friend about half a year ago. We dated for about a month and he decided that he didn’t want to be with me because I was not pursuing the same career as he. He is still closer to me than anyone else, and vice versa. Over the months after we broke up, I actually began to love him more. He is a man of God in many ways, and has tried to help me get over my feelings. It is frustrating though, because he loves spending time with me, tells me I’m beautiful, tells me everything in his life, and shares almost all of my interests. In fact, he said that things would have probably been different if I had been in a different major. I feel lead by God to pursue the major I am in, though.
I have prayed fervently about this, but I am having a hard time understanding why the feelings aren’t returned. He continues to encourage me to trust God about it, and I want to desperately. I’m not sure how to, though. I’ve prayed for peace, patience, acceptance, guidance… I’ve prayed for the strength to trust that all will be alright. In my head, I know that God has a plan for me, but fears keep coming up and the pain returns. What do I do? I don’t want to loose him as a friend, but it hurts both of us that I’m in this kind of pain.
tina
hi
I have had and have so many confusions , questions and pains and now finally found a place to share.
Me and this guy have been best friends since two years. But we have hardly met twice or thrice and that was when we accidentally ran into each other at college. But we stay in contact over the phone through text messages almost everyday. Over time I found he is avoiding and neglecting me ,but by then i was in a state where i could’nt afford to miss him so i stayed in touch even when it was clear that i was not welcome. At times he is really nice to me, but sometimes he badly offends and hurts me with his words and remarks about me. He said he has romantic feelings for me. He calls this attraction and not love, so he says he cannot marry me. I feel this is not his real reason to refuse me because he knows that he is very special to me. I think he concerns are the differences in our families, the way i look and my personality.We both are christians but from different communities ,i think he prefers girls from his community. Recently he accused me of being desperate for guys, he said i love him only because i do not have any other guy.so we are not in touch now.
But i feel i really love him, even if he is not gonna remain what he is today, even if looks and social repute is lost he will mean the same to me. I always keep thinking about him, i have even sexual thoughts about him and this makes me feel guilty.
My parents are asking me to get married, I do not know if i should wait for him to return my love or go on. If I marry some other guy and if am not able to love the guy i marry i think it might make me feel even more miserable. I am scared that i may not be able to get over him even if i marry some one else.
After thinking about him night and day ,having had feelings for him i don’t know to marry some other guy.
But i don’t even know if i should wait for him expecting him to return my love. I am not able to concentrate on anything , I feel very broken up ,confused and guilty.
I keep praying. I KNOW MY LORD HOLDS MY FUTURE.
Please help me out friends . What should i do.
I’ll pray for all of you out there and i also request you’ll to pray for me.
Greg
If a man says he cannot marry you that’s what he means. You are wasting your time. Why don’t you find someone who actually says he loves you. Why do PEOPLE want what they cannot have? I’m guessing that your prior relationships were those where you were treated with disrespect. I’m thinking that you would not know a healthy relationship if it came and bit you. Your parents are asking you to get married? That’s a good one. If you know the Lord holds the future than start acting like He does by moving on with your life. Get a GOOD godly woman that you can talk to about this. A woman in a good marriage can help you, as I’m sure a woman who got herself out of a similar situation can too.
angela
I have been in love with this man for almost twenty years I have tried therapy tried forgetting drifted away from god and back to God I pray to god to show me he is not right for me but whenever I really need this guy he always seem to appear he always is saying don’t give up on yourself your dreams but he is my dreams he is my heart it does feel like death a slow one it s worse in that when I think of dying I think it would be worse for me because I will never have been with him recently he got married mostly because they had a son but he is trying to walk closer with god he just got baptized and he will always put his all into a relationship cause he is a good man but he has only ever seen me as a friend so I guess I am asking how do you truly ever stop loving the other half of your heart and is it considered a sin if you love a married man and loved him before he was married and never intend to infringe on the sacredness of marriage …. any advice would help found your site by typing in what the bible says about unrequited love so i really want a biblical answer
Linda
I’m going through a case of unrequited love right now. The man that I’ve had feelings for for several years is currently dating a friend of mine. I am crushed. Devastated. Heartbroken. Confused. Feeling foolish. Every time I see him, especially when he’s with *her*, I feel like breaking down right then and there. It’s reached the point where I’m tempted to transfer to another church, just so I won’t have to see them. I’ve prayed about my feelings for this man for years, and I was convinced that he was the one God had in mind for me; that all I had to do was wait and pray, and the Lord would bring us together. The fact that I wasted so much time praying about this, convinced that he was the one I was waiting for, only to find out that I was wrong … That’s what hurts the most. I’m sick and tired of crying over this man; of not being able to be around him without feeling my heart break. I’m just sick and tired of all of it.
Disppointment
It is a tough day to fight through when suffering from unrequited love especially when you have no doutb of your heart for her is true and sincere. The feeling of pain is even greater when you know she have the knowlegde of my feeling toward her and she choose the put stopages of my simple concern and care without demand of return.
With the leader in church who keep blaming me for keep igniting her annoyment, I can only be at the blame of my expression of my feeling and love.
What I can do now is only to keep her in prayer and really hope all the best things will everybe with her. What should I do? I have the intension to leave this church so as I won’t stumble anyone and look for a new beginning. Should I?
Michael
I’m 17 and im dealing with this right now. I know im late but I came here looking for biblical help. I completely understand that guy Mike for what he said, and what he said is true, but the truthfulness of his statements make the situation worse. People go through real stuff and I’m lay in my bed at night dying on the inside thinking about the girl I love. She’s my bestfriend who I’m with all the time. She’s not that beautiful and she doesn’t have the best body but she is the best person I’ve met in my life. She’s funny, she’s cute, she finds happiness in things that aren’t material unlike most teens these days. I was friends with her for a year and some months before I feel in love, but she was in love with a friend of mine. How i feel about her, she feels about him, and how she feels about him, he feels about his girlfriend. So not only am I depressed over the fact she doesnt feel the same for me, I know she going through the same emotions with him, and I love her before im in love with her, so i spend a lot of a time helping her with her depression which at the same time kills me. Everyone thinks we’re a couple, we spend every moment together when we have time. We go on dates, we hold hands, we sometimes have intimate moments but we’ve never kissed or have had sex or anything, she says her feelings for me change a lot, almost daily, and that hope she gives me really crushes my spirit. I get this sharp pain that starts from my chest and goes through my whole body, and it just makes me wanna sleep and never get out of bed. Tears wanna come out but they won’t, so then i get headaches, it makes me rude, it makes me feel as if there is no God, and back to Mike’s statement, i shoudlnt feel that way, because people go through real stuff, and the fact that my emotional stress is such a little issue but kills me so deeply, stresses me even more
Alexander
I have gone through unrequited love three times in my life. I worry that I have been guilty of idolatry, both towards the idea of being in a relationship, and towards individual women.
I am afraid that I have allowed the earliest experience in particular to overshadow much of my life. In some ways the later experiences were better, as I was able to be and remain friends with them, and found them easier to talk to. Also, they were more godly and did not deliberately torment and manipulate me as the girl in high school did
In other ways these experiences were worse, as I felt guilty clinging to emotions and thoughts even after learning in each case successively that each had a boyfriend, became engaged and then married.
I also should have taken more care that they were not made uncomfortably aware of my feelings.
I am not sure whether God’s intentions for me include a wife or not; it is possible that it would be better that I remain single, a prospect with which I can sometimes be content, at others (including now) seriously not.