Why is it so Hard to Meet Someone?

Why is it so Hard to Meet Someone?

Why is it so hard to meet someone
Why is it so hard to meet someone

If you’re reading this as a single Christian, let me first say, welcome! You and I are in the same boat—an ark, if you will, floating aimlessly across the sea of singlehood. Some of us have been navigating these waters for years, while others are fresh out of the harbor. Either way, it’s hard out here, right? But why exactly is it so difficult to meet someone?

To explore this, let’s dive into some of the main reasons why modern dating, especially within Christian circles, feels like trying to catch fish with your bare hands—frustrating, slippery, and occasionally makes you wonder if fish (or in this case, people) even exist!

1. The Myth of “The One”

Let’s start with the age-old Christian dating myth: “The One.” Oh yes, we’ve all heard about this person, haven’t we? From the moment we hit puberty, everyone around us started talking about how God has someone specifically chosen for us. Our very own Adam or Eve, perfectly designed to make us swoon, laugh at our jokes, and share our love for coffee and Psalms. This is not just any regular person; this is The One. The grand prize in the Christian single sweepstakes.

Well, here’s the thing. No pressure or anything, but if you believe there’s only one right person out there for you, every time you swipe left on a dating app or politely decline an invitation to coffee, you might be thinking, “Did I just miss The One?” It’s like playing a life-sized game of Minesweeper, but instead of stepping on a mine, you’re constantly worried that you’ve dodged your soulmate. Not exactly a recipe for peace and patience, is it?

2. We’re All Holding Out for a Hero (or Heroine)

There’s another fun concept many Christian singles hold dear, particularly the gentlemen: the Proverbs 31 woman. She’s the ideal wife who “is clothed with strength and dignity, and laughs without fear of the future” (Proverbs 31:25).

For the ladies, there’s this parallel ideal: the godly man who will lead, protect, provide, and show up to Bible study with a perfectly highlighted Scripture. He knows how to swing a hammer (and not just for mission trips). He’s essentially a cross between King David (without the Bathsheba incident) and Chris Hemsworth.

Here’s the kicker—when we’re all waiting for someone to show up in superhero form, most people feel woefully inadequate by comparison. It’s as though we’re all playing some epic Christian version of “American Ninja Warrior: Courtship Edition.” But here’s the funny part—real life isn’t an action movie, and most of us don’t have that superhero cape stashed in our closet. We’re just trying to make it to church on time, and sometimes we forget the Bible at home.

3. Dating Apps: Blessing or Curse?

Okay, let’s talk about dating apps. For some, this is a modern blessing. After all, it’s never been easier to meet people, right? We have the ability to filter our potential matches by denomination, church attendance, and whether they’ve memorized the books of the Bible in order (bonus points for that one).

But oh, the paradox! As convenient as it is to meet people online, it also introduces us to a world of endless choices. We end up scrolling through profiles like we’re browsing a Christian bookstore sale—“Nah, he’s too short; oh, she’s more of a cat person than a dog person; wait, he likes pineapple on pizza? NEXT.”

It’s like there’s too much variety, and suddenly we’re faced with what economists call “choice overload.” Basically, when you have too many choices, it becomes harder to make a decision. The result? You end up with analysis paralysis, and your phone battery dies before you can muster up the courage to send a message. (True story.)

4. The Fellowship Hall Conundrum

Ah, the classic advice: “Just get involved in church, and you’ll meet someone!” While this sounds great in theory, in practice, the fellowship hall can feel like a barren wasteland when it comes to dating prospects. It’s as though you can sense the universe actively conspiring to seat you next to your grandmother every potluck, while the one eligible person gets cornered by Sister Betty, who wants to give a lecture on the importance of regular tithing.

And let’s not even get started on post-service social hours. Half the time, you’re just praying for God to keep you from spilling coffee on yourself—again—while making awkward small talk about last week’s sermon.

5. Expectations vs. Reality

In Christian culture, we tend to romanticize relationships. We hear about Ruth and Boaz, and we think, “Yes, I too shall find my Boaz as soon as I step out in faith!” We expect that if we do all the right things—attend church, serve, lead a small group, bake cookies for the Sunday school class—that God will reward us with a perfectly timed “meet-cute” with our future spouse.

But the reality is often more complicated. Maybe your future spouse doesn’t come along until you’ve had several awkward first dates or endured a series of failed connections. Or maybe God’s timing doesn’t match your timeline at all.

And let’s be real here: trying to align your expectations with reality can be tough. Sometimes, it feels like God’s plan for your love life includes a few more solo Friday nights and extended prayers for patience than you’d initially signed up for.

6. God’s Timing: The Ultimate Mystery

At the heart of the challenge is this fundamental Christian truth: God’s timing is not our timing. We can laugh and joke about the challenges of being single, but sometimes, it’s genuinely difficult to wait, trust, and believe that God has a plan in all of this. The Bible is filled with stories of waiting—Abraham and Sarah, Joseph in Egypt, and even the Israelites wandering in the desert for 40 years.

So if you’ve been single longer than you expected, you’re in good company. But even in the waiting, God is working. He’s shaping your heart, preparing you for something (and someone) good. And maybe—just maybe—He’s teaching you that while dating can be hard, your identity and purpose in Christ is where true fulfillment comes from.

In conclusion, yes, it is hard to meet someone, especially as a Christian single. But take heart! Whether you’re swiping on an app or making small talk in the fellowship hall, remember that God’s timing is perfect. And in the meantime, you can find joy, purpose, and a little humor in the journey.

Christian Singles Resources

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