Sovereign Grace Singles

I don’t think Sovereign Grace Singles is trying in any way to say that dating/marrying someone who does not believed in Reformed Theology is a sin. But they are stating what I as a reformed Christian have found to be true, that dating someone that has a different view of God (i.e. a different theology) than I share is very frustrating. For those with no deep emotional/intellectual investment in theology these differences may be negligable — But for example, someone who is deeply comitted to the theological views of the Free Will Baptist Church would very poorly mesh with someone commited to Calvinist theology. Could we be great friends… sure… could we worship together… of course. Could we commit to marry and raise children teaching them diametrically opposing views of the Christian God – I think that would be hard. Almost as hard as trying to reconcile 2 different religions (althogh I am in no way implying either of these denominations are non-christian – just that they have very different views of God’s plan and actions) You are more than free to have your opinion. I mean no offence here, just hoping to explain where the other side is coming from.

Whitney

David:

My dear brother, I think you failed to get Whitney’s point. She in no way stated that the different theological views would, as you said, “block fellowship with other believers.” Please read it carefully; she clearly affirmed that they would still be able to be “great friends” and “worship together” despite differing viewpoints.
This is clearly a very emotional issue for you, for in your opinion you stated that this commitment is “cultic, divisive and sinful.” We are called by Scripture to “examine all things” and be discerning. For someone to desire to marry someone (the ultimate goal of relationships) who shares their theological viewpoint is not putting theological viewpoints before Jesus, it is simply a desire to honor the Lord by marrying someone who would be able to peaceably walk alongside that person in holy agreement for the rest of their lives.
I would urge you not to trivialize the issue of God’s Sovereignty in salvation as a dispensable issue in order to accommodate for a convenient dating relationship.
Can a relationship between an Arminian and a Calvinist work? Yes, nothing is impossible for God. Is it wise to walk into such a relationship presumptuously expecting God to fix it in the future (or somehow hoping the issue will be completely ignored)? I wouldn’t want to tempt God. I would rather avoid the danger. Proverbs 27:12 “The prudent sees danger and avoids it, but the simple go on and suffer for it.”

In Christ’s love,
Nathaniel

I was getting to know this girl, and we both agreed that we wanted to pursue a relationship on a dating level. I made the mistake of bringing up the fact that I was a Calvinist, and that ended the relationship right there. Now I have nothing against Arminiests, as long as they have an open mind to verses that talk of God’s sovereingty in our salvation. However, this girl wanted to end our relationship after learning me views on this issue. Its not like we share different views about God that would prevent one of us from being saved. Any one else think its kind of peculiar that the Arminiest here is the closed minded one?

It’s silly to say that doctrine doesn’t matter. The bible says, if it isn’t election, then it is works (Rom 9:13). It’s not about claiming to be “christian”; it is obedience to the gospel, the written word. We can’t make up a god and say “Christian” and expect people who believe the truth to hold our hand.

Confessing Jesus as Lord is bowing to His message. No submission to election, no salvation by your own free will. It won’t work.

I recently came across soveriegn grace singles and plan on switching to it as soon as my account at another much better expires. You see it is frustrating to have to sift through 1300+ profiles to find one that may agree with you on the Bible only to find out they have no interst in you. Soveriegn grace singles would at least filter out some aspects for me.
Oh, and those who are speaking against division would do well to note that the Bible says division are nescesary to know who’s approved unto God that is who is walking in accordance with His Truth. The Bible only speaks against those who divide off when they are in error not those who spilt off who hold the truth.

Hello,
I came across your site unintentionally. I almost said by “accident,” but we know that with God, nothing comes to pass but by His own hand. I didn’t know there was such a site here, and I found it interesting to see this.

If I may, I would like to leave here the last two short chapters of my book – He will Save His People from their Sins (Matthew 1:21): A thankful testimony to God’s grace through the “wisdom, revelation, and knowledge of Him”

But first, I would just speak a word personally. I thought I knew the Lord for fifteen years for I made a profession of faith. Throughout that time, the several churches I was in, reinforced the same gospel I heard from the beginning. Salvation is “believing.”

I had all the outward appearances of a Christian. I was living a decent life, taking my family to church, and having devotions with my kids. During this period I was married with three small children. Upon returning home one day from work, I found my family had left me for another she had known previously, and moved to another state.

Three weeks later, I met the Lord in truth one evening in my living room, for the first time over the guilt in a lifetime of my sins. Several months later, the Lord led me to a Reformed church where I found it so thankful to be from the very first message I heard, 26 years ago.

The new creature in Christ

God will use any measure to call in His redeemed (Isa.63:9; Lam.3:58; Matt.1:21). Will you be among them? May the death of a loved one, or losing one’s family be the extreme He uses to do that. Has your heart ever been broken in guilt over its sins, that we might come to the Lord in truth (Psa.145:18)?

I was a self-indulged sinner in all my selfishness and self-deceit, saved by the grace of God. The same saving grace He extends to all who come to Him in their need (Jer.3:23). He said we will all have to stand before Him to give account of ourselves for sinful disobedient lives, when He returns to earth to set up His Throne in Jerusalem. If we cannot see our need for Him now in these present bodies, it will be too late on His return when He comes in judgment.

The view one takes concerning salvation will be determined to a large extent, by the view one takes concerning sin, and its effects on human nature. Through Adam’s fall and by our own dis-obedient nature we live in bodies corrupt, perverse, and sinful throughout. The whole of man’s being has been affected by sin (Ecc.7:29). This corruption extends to every part of man, his body and soul. Sin has affected all of man’s faculties, his mind, his will, etc.

There is no genuine belief without a repentant heart. There is no genuine claim for the Lord Jesus Christ, without guilt. But if we cannot see our own guilt in a lifetime of rejecting His Person and commandments, we will never see genuine need for His pardon and forgiveness.

If an egg is broken by outside force, life ends, but if the egg is broken by inside force, life begins. For myself, that outside force was a “profession of faith,” trying to get in. But the inside force was a renewal of my heart (Ezek.36:26, 27). Free will is like the egg trying to be cracked open and born from the outside, but grace is the egg being born from within, from the heart, which enables the egg to crack open its shell, to live for its Creator, God, and Saviour.

But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob,
And He who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by your name;
You are Mine.
2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you (and those waters will come);
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,
Nor shall the flame scorch you.
3 For I am the LORD your God,
The Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
(Isa.43:1-3).

Has He called you by your name? View your sins the way God does in your need, and you will hear that call. I was once told we don’t require “need” to receive the Saviour, but are we not told unregenerate man is born with hearts lacking understanding to spiritual things in their darkness, living in a state of alienation from the life of God because of his ignorance and blindness of heart?

Are we not told because of these things we are past feeling from birth toward the Father and His Son, along with the state of our eternal souls by our own willful alienation from Him?

Are we not told to recognize the guilt of entire lives of disobedience that we might see how we stand before God with hearts beyond feeling to Himself, and the welfare of our souls?

“For He will deliver the needy when he cries, the (spiritually) poor also, and him who has no helper. He will spare the poor and needy, and will save the souls of the needy (Psa.72:12, 13).
But You, O GOD, the Lord, deal with me for Your name’s sake; because Your mercy is good, deliver me. For I am poor and needy, and my heart is wounded within me” (Psa.109:21, 22).

“And the vessel that He made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter; so He made it again into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to make…

‘O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter?’ says the Lord, ‘Look, as the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are you in My hand, O house of Israel!’ “ (Jer.18:4-6; Rom.9:17-24; Isa.64:8). It’s a “wounded heart” over our sins, that we will know that need.

Epilogue

My experience with adversity and affliction is so minor compared to the many godly saints throughout history who have suffered such a great deal more in the love of their Saviour, even unto death. It was at the beginning of the third century that Tertullian of Carthage said that the blood of the martyrs was the seed of the church. In more recent times, this truth has been seen in the life and death of many, including John and Betty Stam.

They were young missionaries serving with the China Inland Mission in the early 1930’s. One year after their marriage in China, they found themselves caught up in the advance of the Communists into the town where they were living. They were captured, held for an exorbitant ransom, marched through the streets of the village, and they were beheaded.

Betty Scott, John’s wife, had been raised in China. She was the daughter of a Presbyterian mis-sionary couple. Perhaps her childhood faith, her utter dependence on God, and her preparation for giving her life for the Gospel can best be witnessed in the words of her own poetry; a young girl of 10 years…

I cannot live like Jesus
Example though He be
For He was strong and selfless
And I am tied to me.
I cannot live like Jesus
My soul is never free
My will is strong and stubborn
My love is weak and wee.
But I have asked my Jesus
To live His life in me.
I cannot look like Jesus
More beautiful is He
In soul and eye and stature
Than sunrise on the sea.
Behold His warm, His tangible
His dear humanity.
Behold His white perfection
Of purest deity.
Yet Jesus Christ has promised
That we like Him shall be.

Thanks to the providence of God and the courage of the Chinese Christians, their baby daughter was smuggled to safety and raised in the home of her loving grandparents.

The last letter from John was written the day before their death and was found hidden in the clothing and blankets of little Helen Priscilla.

Tsingteh, An.
Dec. 6, 1934

China Inland Mission, Shanghai

Dear Brethren,

My wife, baby and myself are today in the hands of the Communists in the city of Tsingteh. Their demand is twenty thousand dollars for our release.

All our possessions and stores are in their hands, but we praise God for peace in our hearts and a meal tonight. God grant you wisdom in what you do, and us fortitude, courage and peace of heart. He is able-and a wonderful Friend in such a time.

Things happened so quickly this a.m. They were in the city just a few hours after the ever-persistent rumors really became alarming, so that we could not prepare to leave in time. We were just too late.

The Lord bless and guide you, and as for us, may God be glorified whether by life or by death.

In Him,
John C. Stam

These young followers of Jesus had prayed that the Lord would be honored in their living and in their dying. The words of their gravestones properly proclaims the purpose of their calling…

John Cornelius Stam
18 January, 1907
“That Christ may be magnified whether
by life or by death.” Phil. 1:20

Elizabeth Scott Stam
His Wife
22 February 1906

“For me to live is Christ
and to die is gain.” Phil. 1:21

The above is a summary of what was sent by their relative. The blood of martyrs had become the seed for a renewed energy in foreign missions at least in part, because of how God had used the witness and courageous faith of John and Betty Stam. I pray my little experience might also be used of the Lord in the hearts of a few. Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick (Matt.9:12; Mk.2:17). Sinners need the Saviour. The saints need the body of Christ (I Cor.12:20-25).

If we are among the redeemed of Christ, wherever we are in life, in any state of being, physically, mentally, emotionally, it is where the Lord puts us. We are never anywhere outside His will that puts us there. When we are called to faith, it is our duty, often, our great need to find out and realize, why we are, where we are. Knowing this may concern us externally, or it may concern us inwardly, but know always in whatsoever state, it is for His purpose as well as our own, that He might use us in which glorifies His own Name, in life or death (Jn.15:5).

The total inability of the unregenerate sinner makes saving grace absolutely necessary for the beginning, the development, and the completion of salvation. We may be in prison, for example, as Paul was, or suffering of any sort, but the purpose of God in that state of being will sooner, or later, be known, when we know Him and His word in truth. We are told to trust Him, in all, and in everything, that when we drink of the water He gives us, we will never be thirsty anymore; water continually flowing within us (John 4:14).

Jesus said to them, My food is to do the will of Him Who sent Me and to accomplish and completely finish His work (John 4:34; Amp. Bible). Thankfully, He did just that. He goes on to say,

Do you not say, it is still four months until harvest time comes? Look! I tell you, raise your eyes and observe the fields and see how they are already white for harvesting.

Already the reaper is getting His wages [he who does the cutting now has his reward], for he is gathering fruit (crop) unto life eternal, so that he who does the planting and he who does the reaping may rejoice together.

For in this the saying holds true, One sows and another reaps.

I sent you to reap a crop for which you have not toiled. Other men have labored and you have stepped in to reap the results of their work (John 4:35-38; Amp. Bible).

As I thought of these words it humbled me so greatly, as I am prone to tears at times like this, that the Lord has not used me so much to sow, as He has to reap, through all the troubling and often sorrowful things I have experienced throughout my life, to bring me to this purpose. But He is a Man of sorrows Who has borne my grief, being smitten, stricken, and afflicted for me, crushed for my iniquities (Isa.53:4, 5; John 15:16).

The fields are indeed white for harvesting, and if Jesus Christ is in fact our Redeemer, there are already many in whom His word has been planted, and where some, have even made professions of faith, but have yet to know Him in truth as has been my own experience.

If they are numbered among His redeemed, they will come to know that truth. Much personal experience has resulted in the preceding pages. I offer this testimony to those who know Him verbally, but have yet to know Him in heart.

O Lord, You have pleaded the case for my soul; You have redeemed my life (Lam.3:58). For He will save His people from their sins (Matt.1:21). Let us ask ourselves, will I be among them? Or will I perish?

By the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain (I Cor.15:10).

Any theology outside that of the Reformers have no concept of such a loving Saviour in the depth of their sins, when one feels they can receive or reject Him.