If you’ve been out there in the dating world, especially as a Christian single, you know things can get a little tricky. You’re trying to stay pure, uphold biblical values, and—let’s face it—figure out whether that charming person sitting across from you at church is already someone else’s “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). So, how do you tell if someone is married? Here are the top 10 ways, with a little humor and solid biblical advice, to tell if someone is married.
1. Check the Left Hand for That Shiny Metal
Let’s start with the obvious. The left-hand ring finger is prime real estate for wedding rings. Now, some people ditch the ring for various reasons, but a shiny band is usually a dead giveaway. If you’re at church and someone’s waving their hands in worship with a glint of gold on their finger, you might want to give that a second glance before daydreaming about your future with them.
Biblical Note: Remember, in Matthew 19:6, Jesus said, “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” So, no ring-breaking!
2. They Refer to Their “Other Half”… A Lot
You know that moment when someone keeps saying, “My spouse this,” or “My husband/wife that?” That’s your clue! Subtle references like “date night” or “family time” can also give it away. If they’re always talking about some mystery person who sounds super close, it’s not a prayer partner—they’re married.
Biblical Reminder: Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing.” If they’ve already found their “good thing,” it’s time for you to keep looking.
3. Their Facebook Status Is Not Complicated—It’s Married
Ah, Facebook: where relationships go to be either confirmed or confused. Before you get too excited about that new connection, check their relationship status. If it’s public, and it says “married,” or you see a thousand pictures of them on vacation with the same person, it’s safe to say they’re spoken for.
Bonus Tip: If their profile is filled with couple selfies and posts about “the best spouse ever,” you can take that as divine confirmation to move on.
4. The Mysterious Phone Habits
Do they quickly turn their phone face-down when you’re around? Are there cryptic texts from someone saved as “Bae” or “Honey” popping up during Bible study? Pay attention! If they’re always hiding their phone like it’s a secret code to salvation, they might be hiding something bigger—like a spouse.
Biblical Insight: Luke 12:2 says, “There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed.” That includes suspicious phone behavior!
5. They’re Never Available for Evening Plans
If someone is mysteriously unavailable after 6 p.m. every night, they might not be attending evening prayer meetings. It’s more likely they’re home with their spouse. A person who dodges dinner invites, movie nights, or even a simple hangout might have family commitments keeping them busy.
Biblical Wisdom: Colossians 3:19 tells husbands to “love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” If someone is already showing love and care to someone else, be gracious and respect that.
6. They Have Kids (and They’re Not a Nanny)
If they casually mention their kids but leave out the part about having a spouse, tread carefully. It’s possible to be a single parent, but if they talk about their kids in a way that seems very “whole family,” there might be a spouse in the picture. Listen for context clues about who’s doing school pickups or who “we” are as a family.
Christian Perspective: Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go.” Married couples often talk about shared parenting responsibilities, so listen to the language they use.
7. They’re a Master of Vague Answers
Ask them about their weekend, and they give you a vague response like, “Oh, just spent time with family.” Who is family? If they’re married, they might be intentionally keeping things unclear. Vague responses are often a red flag when someone wants to keep their marital status under wraps.
Biblical Clue: Proverbs 12:22 reminds us, “The Lord detests lying lips.” Honesty is key in relationships, so if you feel like something’s off, trust your instincts.
8. They Dodge Church Events with You
Church potluck? Nope. Sunday school social? Can’t make it. If they’re always coming up with reasons to avoid church events, especially ones where families or couples might be, that’s a red flag. Married folks might want to avoid places where their double life could be exposed.
Biblical Truth: Hebrews 10:25 encourages believers not to give up meeting together. If someone’s avoiding fellowship, especially with you, it might be time to ask why.
9. They’re Wearing a Tan Line Where a Ring Should Be
Okay, this one is sneaky. Even if they’re not wearing a wedding ring at the moment, look closely. Is there a telltale tan line? A ring groove that’s suspiciously absent during your coffee date? If so, that’s a strong indicator they’re hiding a spouse.
Biblical Encouragement: Ephesians 5:25 commands husbands to love their wives. Don’t get caught in a relationship where someone is failing to live out that command.
10. You Have a Gut Feeling (or the Holy Spirit’s Nudge)
Sometimes, you just know. Call it discernment, a gut feeling, or the Holy Spirit speaking to your heart, but if something feels off, trust that feeling. God gives us wisdom to navigate tricky situations, including the dating world. If you feel like someone might be married, pray for clarity and direction.
Biblical Comfort: James 1:5 assures us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” Don’t be afraid to ask God for guidance!
What to Do If They Are Married
So, you’ve gathered all the clues, and it turns out, yes—they’re married. What next? First, take a deep breath and pray. It’s disappointing when someone isn’t available, but God has a plan for your life. You don’t need to be entangled in someone else’s marriage, no matter how tempting or charming they might seem.
Biblical Guidance for Moving On:
- Flee Temptation: 1 Corinthians 6:18 says, “Flee from sexual immorality.” If someone is married, that relationship is off-limits. Period. Don’t entertain thoughts or flirtations.
- Pray for Your Future Spouse: Instead of focusing on what didn’t work out, pray for the person God has for you. Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us that God’s plans for us are good, to give us hope and a future.
- Seek Accountability: If you’re struggling to let go of feelings for someone who’s married, find a trusted Christian friend or mentor who can help you stay accountable and pray with you.
- Forgive and Move Forward: Whether or not the person intentionally misled you, practice forgiveness. Ephesians 4:32 encourages us to “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
In Conclusion
Navigating the dating world as a Christian single is no easy feat, especially when you’re trying to honor God and respect the sanctity of marriage. But with a little wisdom, some humor, and the help of the Holy Spirit, you can avoid the trap of falling for someone who’s already taken. Keep your heart open to God’s timing, and remember—He’s got someone amazing in store for you. Patience, prayer, and a good sense of humor will get you through!
0 Comments