Look, I know why you’re here. Breaking a soul tie sounds a little like “cutting the invisible strings” tethering your heart to someone who—let’s be honest—was not exactly the love of your life. Maybe you’ve tried deleting their number, muting them on social media, or even scrolling past every playlist that reminds you of that one road trip, but still, there’s a magnetic pull. What gives? Well, friend, it sounds like you’re dealing with a soul tie.
Let’s dive into what a soul tie is, why they matter, and how to finally, truly, let go of your ex—with plenty of laughs along the way.
What Is a Soul Tie, and How Did This Happen?
Soul ties are like the heart’s version of Velcro. When we connect deeply with someone—especially in a romantic relationship—there’s an invisible bond formed. Spiritually, emotionally, even mentally, you’re tethered. And if you’re here, the tether is still tugging at you long after the relationship has run its course.
Biblically speaking, soul ties can form through deep emotional intimacy, shared experiences, or physical closeness. Now, none of this is inherently bad. Except when that soul tie becomes a stumbling block in your life. You can’t get over them, and they keep popping up in your prayers like, “Lord, why did You make them so cute?”
Why Breaking Soul Ties Is So Important
Here’s the truth: a lingering soul tie can keep you anchored to your past. Every time you scroll through their Instagram feed or relive old memories, you’re feeding the tie and stopping yourself from healing. The Bible says we are meant to “press on toward the goal to win the prize” (Philippians 3:14). Hanging on to the past can hold you back from discovering the blessings God has for your future.
Breaking a soul tie is like cleaning out a cluttered attic; it’s time-consuming and a bit painful, but it’s oh-so-necessary. You deserve the freedom to walk unencumbered into whatever God has next for you!
1. Acknowledge the Soul Tie with Humor and Honesty
First things first, you have to name it. Say it out loud if you need to: “I have a soul tie with [insert ex’s name here] and they’re still renting space in my mind for free.” Just admitting it can be a relief, right? No one can break a tie they won’t acknowledge, and pretending you’re unaffected is the quickest way to prolong the bond.
Example Prayer:
“Lord, I’ve got to be honest. I’m a little tired of my ex showing up like an unwanted guest in my mind. Help me to admit this, and give me the strength to deal with it!”
2. Pray, but Be Specific
Yes, prayer works wonders. But this isn’t the time for vague prayers like, “Dear God, help me move on.” Oh, no. We’re aiming for precision here. Try something like, “Lord, I’m done with this cycle of missing someone who wasn’t for me. Help me cut this tie. Give me a clean break and a clear heart.”
Being specific with God is like giving directions to a confused friend. God already knows your heart, but praying specifically can bring clarity to you. Each time you pray about breaking the soul tie, you’re giving God more control and reminding yourself why this is important.
3. Sever Physical Reminders (Yes, the Hoodie Too)
Breaking a soul tie isn’t just spiritual; there are practical steps too. Do you still have their sweatshirt? Delete their photos? Haven’t unfollowed them yet? Let’s be honest: we keep these reminders around because they’re comforting. They’re like little relics of a relationship that we sort of wish still had life in it.
But it’s time for some spring cleaning, my friend! Gather any mementos that remind you of them—photos, letters, playlists—and either delete, donate, or toss them. If you can’t bear to throw away their favorite hoodie, give it a new home. Even better, let a friend hold you accountable. Call it the “Ex Clean-Up Crew” if you need to.
4. Forgive…Them and Yourself
No one likes the F-word—forgiveness, that is. But it’s crucial for breaking soul ties. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you’re excusing any hurt caused; it means you’re no longer letting that hurt control you. Sometimes, we’re holding onto pain or memories because they’re the last link we have to that person. But guess what? That’s only hurting one person: you.
Pray for the strength to forgive your ex, whether they’re truly sorry or not. Then, forgive yourself. Sometimes we’re hardest on ourselves, and it takes just as much courage to forgive our own choices as it does to forgive others.
Example Prayer:
“Lord, I forgive [Ex’s name]. They’re Your creation, too, even if they didn’t treat me right. Help me forgive myself for any regrets I’m holding onto, and let this be the final act that frees my heart.”
5. Reframe Your Thinking
Instead of saying, “I lost someone,” try saying, “I’m gaining a fresh start.” Reframing doesn’t deny the past; it’s about adjusting your perspective on it. You might need to repeat these truths to yourself daily until they stick. “God has good plans for me.” “I’m free from the past.” “The best is yet to come.” Over time, these declarations will replace the old script of “What could have been…”
6. Get Accountability (Bring in the Prayer Warriors)
You know who’s great at keeping you on track? Good friends. Lean into your community for help breaking this soul tie. Ask friends or mentors who can pray with you and support you. Whether it’s a friend at church, your small group, or even a trusted family member, sometimes breaking free is best done in good company.
7. Focus on Your Identity in Christ
Sometimes a soul tie clings to us because we’ve attached part of our identity to that person. Take time to explore your true identity in Christ. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, loved beyond measure, and your worth isn’t defined by who was or wasn’t in your life. When we’re grounded in this truth, soul ties lose their grip.
Consider spending more time in scripture, journaling about your identity, or reading books that reinforce your value in Christ. The more we embrace who we are in Him, the less likely we are to let anything—even a pesky soul tie—define us.
8. Allow Yourself Time (and Laugh Along the Way)
Breaking a soul tie doesn’t happen overnight. It’s like watching a pot of water slowly boil; it’ll take a while, but eventually, it will get there. Give yourself grace in the process and try not to rush it. Laugh a little—remember the silly moments, or, if they’re out of town, imagine them as a distant memory. Sometimes humor is the best antidote to a lingering hurt.
9. Seek Spiritual Counseling if Needed
If a soul tie feels particularly hard to break, there’s no shame in seeking spiritual counseling. Sometimes, it takes a trained ear to help us understand the root of a connection. A pastor, spiritual director, or counselor can offer valuable insight and help us release what we’re holding onto.
10. Look to the Future with Expectation
Finally, look forward! God has amazing plans for you, and you don’t want to miss them because you’re anchored to the past. Once the soul tie is broken, dream big. Focus on what God is calling you toward. Your future is bright, and the best is yet to come!
Final Thoughts on Breaking That Soul Tie
Breaking a soul tie isn’t about erasing someone from your story. Instead, it’s about freeing yourself to write new chapters. Take the steps one day at a time, lean into God’s strength, and trust that He’s got you.
So, here’s to freedom, fresh starts, and a heart unencumbered by the past. If you need to, grab a tub of ice cream, turn up your worship playlist, and remember: God has something beautiful for you, and you don’t have to carry yesterday into your tomorrow.
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