Broken Hearted: How to Mend a Broken Heart

Broken Hearted: How to Mend a Broken Heart

how to mend a broken heartHow to mend a broken heart for singles who are broken hearted? Almost everyone has had their own “broken heart confession” of a lost relationship. A broken heart is a broken heart, whether that relationship was in a dating context or a marriage. All I can say is it’s one of the most painful things I’ve ever suffered.
While mending a broken heart takes different amounts of time for each person, the following points on how to mend a broken heart will be helpful to all single Christians.

How to Mend a Broken Heart Guide

Talk About Your Broken Heart With Those Who Care

One of the best ways to begin mending a broken heart is to talk about it. Talking about our pain helps us accept the reality of the situation, and guides us along in the healing process and dealing with guilt, if any

As Christian singles, the first person we should go to is the Lord. A beautiful promise is found in Psalms 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Tell your heavenly Dad where it hurts, and exactly how you feel. Don’t hold back anything because He is there for you, and can take whatever you throw at Him.

Beyond pouring out your broken heart to the Lord, getting involved in a Christian singles group, church fellowship, or support group will give you a safe place to share your painful experiences and receive love and support. Don’t feel that you can heal or mend your broken heart on your own. That’s just stupid pride, and will cause you to take longer to heal. We all need somebody from time to time.

Forgiveness Equals Healing

There is an amazing amount of healing power in being forgiven, or in granting forgiveness to someone who has wronged you. The power of forgiveness began at the cross of Christ, where He forgave us our sins. If you don’t understand what it means to be forgiven by God, please read how you can find peace with Him before continuing.

Forgiveness brings closure and cleansing, which speeds the healing of the broken hearted person. So if you wronged someone in a previous dating or marriage relationship, ask forgiveness. Whatever the other party does with that offer is not yours to worry about.

On the other hand, if someone has wronged you, don’t seek revenge (that’s the Lord’s to handle), but forgive from the heart. It doesn’t mean that you have now become a doormat for further abuse. Granting forgiveness to someone who has broken your heart does mean that you have decided to let go of the past and start a new beginning in your life.

Take Care of Your Body

Having a broken heart puts tremendous stress on your physical and emotional wellbeing. That’s why it’s important to eat right, drink plenty of fluids, exercise and find time for relaxation. Force yourself to do these things, even if you don’t feel like it, and it will help you overcome depression and feelings of low self-esteem. You’ll thank me later if you do.

Be Willing To Take Another Risk

Okay, your relationship didn’t work out, and you’ve been left with a broken heart. So take this time to evaluate where you can improve yourself for the future.

As a broken hearted single trying to mend, you are in a vulnerable state. That’s why you definitely want to avoid the dangers of a rebound relationship. This is especially true if you are a single parent dating with kids.

However, please don’t close yourself off to the possibility of romance. In the right time and place it’s a wonderful thing. In this regard, you may want to consider using an online Christian dating service because it’s a great way to ease back into dating on your terms, and at your own pace.

Are you a single woman or man with any additional advice on how to mend a broken heart?

Related Articles:

Dating After Divorce
Dating Advice: When to Dump a Dating Relationship

Christian Dating Service

232 Comments

    • Denise Williams

      My fiancée cheated on me and got his ex-girlfriend pregnant. I have called off the engagement, but I have so much pain that it seems unbearable. Is their someone out their that can help me get through this? I vowed to be celibate until marriage, but I broke my vow of 5 years 5 months into this relationship. I feel so bad…please someone help me.
      • David Butler Author

        Dear Denise:

        Sorry that this took so long to get back. Please know that we have been praying for you. Our hearts go out to you in your need. Jesus is REALLY the healer of broken hearts.

        Please know that Jesus looks at your heart, and forgives you completely. He feels and knows your pain, and is here for you.

        If you would like to talk we our here for you…This is our ministry…If you want a referral please let us know that too, and we will help in that area.

        • Daisy

          I’ve been through with so many relationships and all of them hurt me so bad. All my ex-boyfriends had cheated on me. I dont understand why my relationships never succeed, and on the other hand, all my ex-boyfriends were married and happy with their family. I wonder why I cant be happy…Please help me!

          • David Butler Author

            Dear Sweet Daisy:

            You are not to blame that men cheated on you…Go to the Lord even through teasr, and He will meet your needs…He promises! if you need a referral to a great singles group in your area…please let us know..

            David

            • David Butler Author

              Dear Sweet Daisy:

              You are not to blame that men cheated on you…Go to the Lord even through tears, and He will meet your needs…He promises! if you need a referral to a great singles group in your area…please let us know..

              David

              • maryjane

                i had a relationship with a guy who was older than me 10 years gap. He cheated on me, we had one kid and I am raising her alone.and with my own support…

                • Rachel James

                  I had an affair with someone else’s fiance and we have been together for about 2 years. He left his fiancee for me and had proposed to me but i’m terrified that he would cheat on me like what he did to his fiancee. I finally had the courage to put the relationship to an end but it’s hurting me so badly… am i doing the right thing? pls help me..

                  • Liz

                    He got on his knees, and cried. He told me he loved me, and that he wanted to marry me. I’m tired and weak and sometimes feel like just dying. He just left me without saying good-bye. My heart is shattered into many pieces!!!!!!!!!!!

                    • Marie Yolanda

                      David,
                      This is Marie Yolanda…I didnt get reply on my comment on last Sunday…I e-mailed Helen in My Space to expose the person she is pregnant with now..but she has not read it yet…

                      • stacey

                        i was living with my boyfriend and all of a sudden , he said he sees me as a room mate so he can have relationships with other women. I am a Christian and I want to live holy in Gods sight, he just wants to live together and do whatever he wants. Please pray for me, that God will help me and change this situation, I love him a lot, but I love Jesus more. Brokenhearted and hurting in Houston, Texas

                        • venus

                          I was recently engaged (shortly) to a guy who was my best friend of 5 years and we have to children together. Well after much longing praying, God’s answer for us was no. God revealed this man’s heart to me and it wasn’t the heart I thought I knew. My brokenness comes from feeling as if I have invested in something that no longer exists, my son is being raised by a single parent, and the devastation I feel knowing that he is still seeing the woman he cheated on me with and all the while sending me love poems and telling me he wants our family back. Knowing the truth about someone doesn’t make the pain go away.

                          • bluesky19822007

                            My boyfriend cheated on me. We were together for 1 year and 5 months. Now, i just knew that he had an affair with another girl when we’re 3 months in a relationship. the girl got pregnant and delivered her baby girl. I was betrayed and felt bad. I don’t know how to react I have mix emotions. i don’t know how to deal with this. This is the second time a man betrayed and fooled me. Don’t i deserve to be happy once and for all?

                            • David Butler Author

                              Dear Bluesky:

                              A broken heart is NEVER easy to deal with, and we have many praying for you. I firmly believe God will lead you to the right person, as long as you follow His will, and not your own. In order to avoid another broken heart, we suggest seeking out trusted Christian advice from friends who know you well before making another dating decision. God bless you and hang in there. You are worth it!

                              • Jea

                                I’m a Christian and my is boyfriend is the son of a pastor. We have been together for 4 years but recently just this month he told me he got another girl pregnant, and I am hurting until now because he is my first bf and I thought he will be my last. What is the right thing for me to do? He said I am the one he really loves, and that he was just tempted. How can I forget him? Should I accept him again? I’m really confuse, please help. Do you think it’s better if I move on now?

                                • kelly

                                  I HAVE BEEN HURT ONCE IN A RELATIONSHIP.I PRAYED FOR THE HEALING.BUT FROM THEN NO ONE HAS EVER COME ON MY WAY.AM A FAITHFUL SERVANT HAVE PRAYED AND FASTED,REPENTED OF KNOWN AND UNKNOWN SINS YET NO ANSWER FOR A GODLY SPOUSE AM WONDERING DID GOD COMPLETELY FORGOT ME. PLEASE HELP AM DESPARATE FOR GOD TO ANSWER

                                  • Bianca

                                    My ex-fiance broke up with me and I found out just recently that after we broke up he slept with this girl whom I suspected before that he was cheating on me with but swears he stopped talking to after I found out about them talking and now got her pregnant. He still tells me I am his true love. Even calls me his wife. He says he never meant for this to happen and he was actually getting ready to move back with me when he found out this girl got pregnant. Now it feels that my world was crushed. I am devastated and very hurt. How do you deal with this??

                                    • David Butler Author

                                      Dear Jea:

                                      We are praying for your broken heart…The Lord is the Great Healer so you are in good hands. If your cheating boyfriend did this to you before you are married, do you really think he would be faithful in marriage? I think you know what to do.

                                      Kelly:

                                      We know that waiting on God is never easy, but always worth. Please hang in there, because He really does make all things beautiful in His time..In the meantime, check out the advice in the above link.

                                      Praying for you,

                                      David

                                      • Mrs Terry

                                        ((((Dear God, I Pray for Broken Hearts, To Be Healed. God I do not know how fix broken heart, But you do Jesus… In The Name Of jesus Christ I Pray. Amen)) Pray for a Revival. Please pray for my safety. Please pray for the USA. Please keep praying for my Families,Friends and Neighbors.

                                        • Broker Hearted

                                          I’m so broken hearted right now that I can barely even breath. I stood side by side with my girlfriend for 18 months while her son underwent chemotherapy for his cancer. I loved this woman and always ensure she had a home to lay her head and food for her and her child to eat. I caught her cheating and the sad part is that she had her brother tell me that me and her were over. She didn’t even have the decency to say thank you. I’ve been sick throwing up and not eating for the last 4 days. It pains me to write this. I am a man I am suppose to be much stronger than this. I gave this woman half of what I had. And the only reason I say half is because we were not married yet. I’m completely devastated and I don’t know how to move on.

                                          • David Butler Author

                                            Mrs. Terry- What a beautiful prayer!

                                            Dear Broken Hearted:

                                            My heart goes out to you! Remember, there is no burden to great Jesus can not heal. He is close to the broken hearted because those are the kinds of folks He is looking for. Those are not just word but the living truth. If you have accepted Christ Jesus as Lord and Saviour, I’m going to ask you to surrender all of this to Him Leave it with Him, everything, and let’s see what our God can do. We are praying for you. Sounds like you may need to talk to someone for encouragement and perspective on your broken heart. Email us and we will contact you.

                                            David

                                            • Bella Broken

                                              I met my ex-fiance off of a Christian dating site. I believed with all of my heart that he was my soulmate. We shared the same passion for God, the same thirst for His Truth, and many, many interests. I never felt so connected to a man in my life. We had a long distance relationship, which was pure bliss. We wanted to do everything God’s way and we put Him first in our relationship. Then he moved from his state to be close to me. We got engaged. Things began to crumble immediately. It didn’t take long for me to realize that he was very selfish, defensive, and worst of all, dishonest. I was so crushed. Praise Jesus for showing me the meaning of Christlike Love and thank God for removing the blinders from my eyes. And now I just trust in Him to heal my broken heart…

                                              • ValeyRose

                                                Hi, I am broken hearted with my first boyfriend (my only boyfriend)..We were engaged.. . He broke me up for not so valid reasons…. I ‘ve experienced great pain that I wanted to die. My life is not the same anymore..I am also a Christian but because of that pain, It made me a different person, it made me bitter. The worst thing is that my life was destroyed…..It’s hard for me to trust guys anymore…especially Christian guys…Just last month we talked and found out that ever since we broke up he don’t have any girlfriend and told me that he had regrets when he left me…I never had a boyfriend after he left…Even though I am so hard, I still prayed to God for His will…Pls. help me…e-mail me if possible…I really need Godly advice. I know God will use you..

                                                • james

                                                  Please help me cause iI’m so broken hearted cause my girl friend and i broke up I love here so much, but iIdont know what to do please help me. Thanks. I hope God listens to my prayer.

                                                  • David Butler Author

                                                    Dear ValeyRose:

                                                    We recommend going together for Christian counseling. You can find one on this site. I am praying for you, and remember..God builds on the ashes…Your life is not destroyed after a broken heart.

                                                    • Nicola

                                                      My fiance just recently went to Europe backpacking with a mate. He really was the man of my dreams, I knew that he was something special and I trusted him completely. I was a little unsure of him going only 4 months before our wedding but he assured me that I could completely trust him and he would never do anything to hurt me. However 2 and a half weeks into the trip I got a call from him telling me that he did something he really regretted. He told me that he had ended up going to a strip club and became quite intimate with a boy. I was shocked, I never expected that from him, we had been dating for over 6 years and I knew that he was not like that. Anyway he told me he was going to come home straight away because he felt so bad. So he came back, but only to tell me that it went further and that they actually had sex. I was so shocked. We were both virgins and waiting for our wedding night. I am so hurt. I dont know what to do. I love him so much and I want to forgive him but I dont know how to forget what he’s done. I keep on thinking about it and ive become so depressed. He has promised me that he will NEVER do anything like that again. It is now 3 months before our wedding and I really dont know what to do. I love him so much but the hurt is so bad. Should we still get married or getout of it before its too late.

                                                      • Laura Fastabend

                                                        Dear Kelly,
                                                        It is not easy to let things rest in God’s hands sometimes. In a book Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ I found something helpful for me. Jeanne Guyon, the author asks “If this were to be your lot for the rest of your life, what would you do?” Then she says, “Do this”. In another section of the book she says to “Accept the matter”. “Give yourself up to him as a sacrifice”. If you can do this, it helps make it easier to bear. Trust the Lord that he has your best interest at heart. He understands the “you” deep inside and knows what you need. Go to him in prayer and cry if you need to. I find that tears speak the words in my heart that I often can’t express. And I know he understands. Know that accepting this as If it were your lot for the rest of your life does not mean that it Will be that. I will pray for your acceptance of this, and for the ability to leave it in his hands. May God bless you in your surrendering.

                                                        • Patti

                                                          I am 37 and have been unable to get over a relationship that ended almost a year ago. I’ve had lots of failed relationships before this one but I feel like the heartache from this one will never end. I’ve spent the last year trying to get closer to God and reading dozens of Christian books and praying about taking my desire for this person away but I don’t feel any closer to healing and the pain still hurts so bad I don’t know how to get over it and feel at peace. And I know Christ as my Lord and Savior so this makes me feel like I have no hope in Him. It took me 35 years to meet a man that I ever felt attracted to like that and love for and I fear I’ll never feel that way again. As I write this I feel like I must sound like a pathetic teenager and yet I can’t get past this as a grown woman. Please God help me.

                                                          • Michael

                                                            The ratio of broken relationships have increased at a frightening rate past years. I ,too am suffering from a broken heart.My GF walked out on me &has been dating the guy I suspected &even till today she lies to me she isnt dating anyone.Jesus can heal our hearts, He is the one who gave us Love for our partners& I pray for all the broken hearted that God’s amazing,all sufficing Love is poured into each one of our hearts that all our pain&emptiness disappear..In Jesus’ name.Amen.

                                                            • virginia

                                                              My boyfriend of three years stopped loving me after I got very ill with pneumonia and I am broken hearted. I have been unemployed and unable to cope for 2 years now. I was beautiful, intelligent and precious. Now I am a wreck and my health is declining and I can’t cope…He said today that he didn’t love me. I can’t believe it he was my prince and angel! Virginia

                                                              • David Butler Author

                                                                Amen Michael!

                                                                Dear Virginia:

                                                                I am so sorry about your broken heart! If it has been two years that you can’t cope due to your broken heart, maybe you need to speak with a counselor? We can make a referral if you wish. Do you know Jesus as your Saviour? In Scripture it says he is close to the brokenhearted. And remember: No man is worth what pain you are going through.

                                                                We are praying for your healing.

                                                                • danny dawson

                                                                  i have been married for 23 months and is currently going through a divorce because of spouse abuse, with her being the abuser, i am deeply hurt over this and was willing to go to counseling but my spouse refuses to go. so i have no choice but to proceed with the divorce, i still love her and wanna help her, but i can’t fix this by myself please advise

                                                                  • John

                                                                    i have been dating my girlfriend for about 4 years and after we graduate i went to a different sch from her. about 8 months after i got into my new sch i found out that she had been seeing another guy. i never ever thought of that such things will happen though she got mentioned to me quite often that there is this guy and stuff they talk about, i never had suspect anything because i really trusted her completely. but after i found out that she cheated on me that was really a big big blow i don know what to do. that guy emailed me and said ‘since u love her so much i think u should know about this, i masturbated her and she did the same to me’ i m really shocked to know that. i qn her at first she said she didn even kiss him, but as it got longer i asked and asked and she said the most they got to was that guy touching her ‘there’ with a skirt on. though i still have that bit of trust on her but i keep dwell on the words of that guy. when i think of him masturbating her i really cant take it. i don know if its true. but we are still together. it really bothers me a lot. i put my prob to God but some how the imagine always flashes back to me during some part of the day and i will really feel very miserable. pls email me or reply me here.

                                                                    • Darius

                                                                      To all: My girlfriend broke up with me last night after youth at are church. she said the reason was because she had given her whole heart to me and wanted it to be with God only. She believed that if she breaks up with me she will give ALL of her heart to God and cant have me apart of it. She still has feelings for me and so do I for her but we just don’t know what to do. Please help.

                                                                      Please Please contact me at M3-Euro@hotmail.com

                                                                      • dear nicola

                                                                        It sounds like your fiance is gay. I mean bad enough that he cheated on you, but he did it with a guy. I understand if you want to forgive him because everyone makes mistakes…but are won’t you wonder in the future that he might not be into girls and is just using you. Common on he had sex with a guy get a clue you don’t belong in that relationship!!!!!

                                                                        • David Butler Author

                                                                          Dear Darius:

                                                                          I getting you and her to discuss the topic of what it means to “love the Lord above all” with your youth pastor or other trusted elder. When we love the Lord we can love others even better as well. Has she made your her idol?

                                                                          • David Butler Author

                                                                            John:

                                                                            The pain you are experiencing is one reason why it’s not God’s plan for you to have sex before marriage. What she has done is wrong, and I feel your pain, but she does not belong to you.

                                                                            • v kelly

                                                                              My husband move out of our home. He said it’s God’s will for him to do that. Over a year ago he was having an affair with someone in our church and she got pregnant. I took him back. Ever since then our marriage has not been the same what to do.

                                                                              • Agostinho

                                                                                I just broke up with my girlfriend of 15 months. We broke up because my parents didn’t approve of and her family. Theres loads of other variables involved which I wont get into now, but what matters is that i wasn’t my choice. I was given the choice between staying with her and getting chucked out of my house and cutting all ties with my family or ending the relationship. I don’t know whether ill ever be able to tell her the reason why. It hurt so bad when i told her that I even fainted. We were sat out in the for nearly 3 hours sobbing in each others arms. My heart feels like its broken in two.

                                                                                I just pray that God will be able to mend my broken heart and if its mean to be then its meant to be.

                                                                                • Mike

                                                                                  Ive been 1 year with my girlfriend, I love her so much i can’t explain it, my GF cheated on me on 1 Year Anniversary, I almost died. I have so much hate now for this women, that she destroyed everything, I know it’s wrong to hate, but I’m so devastated. She started begging me to forgive her, which I can not and never will. My pain is so intense, I need help please!!!

                                                                                  • Susan

                                                                                    I’m single, and although I’m glad I’ve been single up to this point (36) because it’s given me time to find out who I am on my own, I’ve felt for some time that a good, healthy, passionate, loving, committed relationship with a Christian guy is not going to happen for me. I’m not putting out negative, angry vibes, I enjoy my life on my own but this is a real longing I feel that just gets more painful with time. All the pat “Christian” answers (Don’t worry, honey, Jesus is working through this!) only hurt. At this point, I don’t fell any joy at all in my faith and I just feel like God likes to play head games….if I’m meant to be single, fine, but for crying out loud why won’t he take this desire away? Please, no one tell me it’s to bring me closer to him. It just feels numb when I hear those canned answers that are supposed to make me feel better

                                                                                    • Laura Fastabend

                                                                                      Dear Susan,
                                                                                      In regard to mending a broken heart, hope this doesn’t come across to you as a “pat answer”. Your letter about being broken hearted seems almost as if it could have come from me. For many years I prayed for someone to come into my life that I would be just right for, and they for me. I have gone through some things I honestly didn’t think I could live through. A couple of times I was past my ability to cope. Though this did make me stronger I sure could have done without all the stress. I was later led, repeatedly, to scripture verses and passages that made me to understand that God was going to send someone in my life, a man, and that he was the one I was to love. Never had I received anything even remotely like that before. So being about at my wits end, I sort of screamed/cried out to him. “Send him to me! Now!” (I was demanding by that time) By golly if he didn’t actually listen to me and give me what I asked for! I am still amazed. I cannot believe this relationship. Amazingly we had Both been praying for someone to come into our lives. Someone especially suited for us. There is a quality to our love that is beyond description and I am at a loss for words. In Song of Solomon there is a verse that I now understand more clearly. It’s 3:5 “I charge you, daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles, by the hinds of the field, not to stir my love, nor rouse it, until it please to awake.” It reminds me of an apple. If you pick and eat an apple when its unripe it is not at it’s best and in fact can be pretty awful in it’s tartness. But when you wait for it to fully ripen and have waited for so long for it… when you finally taste it you get the full effect. And it’s worth it, definitely worth it.
                                                                                      If it helps you, pour your heart out to God. I did, time after time. I couldn’t really do much else but pray and wait and work on waiting patiently. (I, like you, also prayed that, if I was meant to be single, he would take the desire away, or otherwise send me someone.)
                                                                                      I hope this is some help to you.

                                                                                      • Jess

                                                                                        I am brokenhearted: I was going out with this girl I fell in love with. She proposed I said yes,then we went to visit her and she cheated on me with my best friend. I’ve been going crazy everyday Ii can’t live with her and can’t live with out her any advice?

                                                                                        • David Butler Author

                                                                                          Susan…God is NOT into head games. If I were you I would get into group counseling (Christian) and work through these legit issues. We are praying for you…and that’s not a canned answer.

                                                                                          Jess: Of course you can live without this jerk! She will just damage your broken heart more if you attempt to get back. Please surround yourself with Christian singles who really care, and let them minister to you, okay?

                                                                                          • alfredo

                                                                                            I am brokenhearted. No one is wrong. she just make her choices. but it is painful. I want to release her and not getting bitter. But the bitterness is very hard to let go. I need help n prayer

                                                                                            • Snow

                                                                                              I need help with my broken heart and how to mend it. It has been about four months since my ex bf broke up with me. He broke my heart – but-I haven’t had a day go by when I haven’t thought of him. He can be such a cruel person, talking about girls he wants to be with and girls he has been with since me. I feel ill when I see him. I just wish I hadn’t fallen at all…. he has torn me down 🙁

                                                                                              But I really need to move on and get over this?

                                                                                              I need to pick up the pieces of my broken heart…

                                                                                              • Snow

                                                                                                but this situation has made me a whole lot stronger… everyone with a broken heart should hang in there.

                                                                                                • JM

                                                                                                  Somebody please help me with my brokenheart. Ive broken up multiple times. Thanks to this my heart is broken and aches and I feel like useless waste in this world. I do not know why but I can not seem to shake off the sadness, heartache pain and torment. Everyday I can only think about how I will be rejected again and again; I feel like there is no one out there for me… no one to love and be loved back…no girl who will want to have me for a bf… why? I dont understand, Im confused and alone please help me in this v_v Im slowly losing all hope in love and romance 🙁

                                                                                                  • Me

                                                                                                    This is about broken hearts: I have been involved with a guy for 14 years. He decided to tell me after coming back into my life for the 2nd time that he was still not certain of his love for me. I’m hurting from a broken heart so bad, just as I started to want to try to trust him he pulls this. He has been leaving town a lot to go to his sons basketball games in PA, on the weekends never asking me to go with him and then getting upset if I call before he gets back just to see where he is and how long it will take for him to get home. Please pray for me my spirit and heart has been broken so many times by this guy. He just does not care and I have a broken heart.

                                                                                                    • susie

                                                                                                      Dear readers,

                                                                                                      Its just a week he left me for a very valid reason. My guts keep telling me that he will change his mind, but the other part of me saying better to let go of him. God knows how much i deeply love him. We were so close until i cant face my days without him but i force myself to get rid of him. I busy myself, i meet alots of friend, i create hobbies, and i prayed alots until im not sure whether God is listening and feel the pain i gone through. im so weak i fall again. i feel like dying. im so empty…anyone please help me. im so helpless.

                                                                                                      • duty

                                                                                                        My heart is broken. My fiancee of two years just left me for reasons i don’t know .He didn’t break up just stopped picking my calls and avoiding me for over 4 months.I hurt too much .I am not desperate but i need to know what i did .I still love him and this hurts me more because he doesnt seem he is ever coming back.I feel like my self esteem has come crashing.Am a good Christian but instead of praying i cry ever nite .Can anyone who has gone through this help me heal? i want to be free. i want to love again because i seem to have closed my heart to all men. I am brokenhearted

                                                                                                        • eReL

                                                                                                          How to mend a broken heart? i met this guy..at first i tried myself not to fall for him. i knew he had a long time girlfriend for 7years but things keep going..we hanged out every week but it all ended one day when i found out that he still loves his girl friend in the other country…i was so hurt its like he just using me but he kept on telling me he’s not that kind of person. the pain is killing me..how did all of this happen..i’m so depressed…my heart is broken..i couldn’t even eat and sleep..i really had a hard time moving on..i used to talk to him every hour minutes but now no body i could lean on..im so lonely will you help me?? it hurt so much specially this my first..please help me with my brokenheart..i’m begging u all

                                                                                                          • cilla

                                                                                                            I finally got a boyfriend at the age of 20, he was my first everything and i was his first everything we were together for 3 years and he broke up with me? i dont know if i should try to get back with him or if i should let him go. the thing i fear is that how could i share myself with someone else and know if he is the right person. i dont know the whole reason why her broke up with me, but i find myself praying to god to help heal his heart and mine so that we may get back together but everyday my prayer goes un-answered, and i find myself hurting even more, and i know that if i ask in jesus’s name i will recieve, and that god does answers prayers, i just have to be patient, but as the days go by i am more upset then hopeful. what do i do?

                                                                                                            • che-che

                                                                                                              to all broken hearted same as me…there is always a good reason behind all this things,let us move foreward to be a better person…continue to live..God is so good,He will not give us somthing we connot endure..live one at a time and lets us enjoy the pain..one we find ourselves happy and so inlove again…

                                                                                                              • Larry

                                                                                                                My friend…..Whom i thought I can start a relationship with…turned me down because she didn’t feel there is no physcial bond between us…have u ever heard of such a thing????is that a necessity…(I’ve never been involved this much…emotionally ever)

                                                                                                                • Milly

                                                                                                                  My boyfriend of 4 years engaged me and cheated on me 2months into our engagament. I wanted to forgive him and let us continue. He told me we should move on. But I kept on reminding him of the hurt. He then decided to end the relationship without any reason. I am still hurt but would like to move on with my life.

                                                                                                                  • elizabeth

                                                                                                                    I broke up with my ex-fiance not too long ago because God says no, and my parent disapprove also because it wasn’t God’s will. I had to come clean to him eventhough I love him dearly. Now he hates me and my parent!!
                                                                                                                    He said i walked out on all that we built and that we can never be friends and he doesn’t want to know me. I feel so guilty that I’ve broken his heart and hurt him so bad. He doesn’t believe that I loved him in the first place, he kept saying I think he’s not good enough for me. This is not the case, can he ever forgive me? What am I going to do to convince him not to feel worthless. I’m heart broken too and I’m so lost. pls help me, advice me. thank you

                                                                                                                    • lashawn

                                                                                                                      Broken hearts are hard to deal with. Surrender your hurt and emotions to God and have faith that you’ll be fine. Continue to pray and keep busy in due you’ll feel better. This is my testiomy.

                                                                                                                      • H, Mickey Gill

                                                                                                                        I’ve got to ask again: if thisis what one has to go through to find a life mate, then what’s the point??? I’m not sure that flying solo for life isn’t the lesser of two evils, especially if all one is going to find in the dating minefield is one disappointment after another. I say again: WHAT’S THE POINT?

                                                                                                                        • sillyher

                                                                                                                          Hello–my heart was broken years ago, and more recently when I witnessed a friend’s heart break. I wish I could offer help, hope or healing. I grew up in an ultra-conservative religious setting and all I have ever prayed for is PEACE. Isn’t that what our Father offers, and freely? Why then has it illuded me for so long–and made it impossible for me to recommend Him to others? Why does he continue to treat me like a joke? Again, tonight, I will pray for healing for my friend, and peace and wisdom for me…

                                                                                                                          • Simon

                                                                                                                            I was with the girl of my dreams for over a year. I honestly thought she would be the last girl for me, we talked about marriage and kids and stuff like that and we were both looking forward to it. I went abroad on my gap year for 6 months, and found that a few months in she started seeing another guy. I found out when she came out to see me, and it crushed me. When we were back in England I was going to going to pop the question, but instead I broke it off with her. I am struggling to forgive her for what she did to me, I have never been so open to anyone or have trusted anyone as much as her. I really hate her for what she did, and for destroying the life we could have had. She has changed a lot since I’ve come back, I can’t stop thinking about her, but its all bad thoughts, like what I would do to her if I saw her again. I don’t want to feel like this anymore, I want to forgive her and move on, but I am really struggling. Please help me.

                                                                                                                            • nana

                                                                                                                              this is to all especially denise:

                                                                                                                              He heals the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds psalm 147:3
                                                                                                                              so trust in him and pour out your heart to him he is close to those with a contrite spirit.
                                                                                                                              As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. psalm 103:12
                                                                                                                              you are forgiven once you asked and repented so forgive yourself he forgave you.

                                                                                                                              There’s no condemnation in Christ Romans 8:1
                                                                                                                              don’t let the past hold you from your future seek the lord and his love and it will be more than enough he loves you and knows every detail of you

                                                                                                                              Matthew 6:33 states,”But seek ye first the kingdom of God,and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
                                                                                                                              let him be the man in your life and once it is time he will give you what your heart desire. Have faith and don’t give up or impatient because it’s not right when you want it.

                                                                                                                              “A woman’s heart should be so close to God that a man has to seek God to find it.”

                                                                                                                              peace and blessings you are loved and worth much more to the lord than you’re current situations.

                                                                                                                              • Mindy

                                                                                                                                In regard to how to mend a broken a broken heart:This is not enough. when you go to find something only to be let down. A man tells you he accepst you yet does the oppostite of what you want? What happens to the ones that purposely hurt you? Are they punished for their sins? Exactly what Mickey said. Too me It is criminal… Do they even have a heart or a soul whey you cry and they cut you down because you do tell me?

                                                                                                                                • shellby

                                                                                                                                  I was fell inlove with the guy whom I expected that he feel what I feel for him… then on the day that we had a revival, he told me that, we will be stay as friend only.. huhu, it really hurt, oh my God help me..

                                                                                                                                  • Daniel

                                                                                                                                    You know what?
                                                                                                                                    I am a male 22. My girl friend said good bye to me. I know what it was like. I understand it. I got it. It is the worst possible my heart has experienced. Worse than I am physically beaten up. WORST!!! if you need to talk… I am here. email me: ibjduy@yahoo

                                                                                                                                    GOD BLESS.

                                                                                                                                    • Jackie

                                                                                                                                      Hey, so, this isn’t about my breakup… No, I’m with my boyfriend and it’s more like he can’t heal his own heart no matter what.

                                                                                                                                      My boyfriend’s last relationship was 13 months (he ended it about 7 months ago), and his ex-girlfriend cheated on him about 3 times, and now he’s convinced he’s worthless and what really tears me apart (and he knows it hurts me more than it hurts him) is that he cuts because of her and what she did to him.

                                                                                                                                      I don’t know how to help him, besides praying for him and doing what I can to make him happy… Any ideas on what I can do to help him?

                                                                                                                                      • rosie

                                                                                                                                        In regard to a broken heart, I need help. i don’t know what to do. My boyfriend left the house 4 months ago. he cheated on me and i’m due in 3 weeks. i call him he doesn’t pick up and when he calls. he tells me he will call back and he doesn’t. i feel im dying.he comes and goes when he wants to and it hurts so much. please help. i have been praying all this time and GOD says if you ask with faith it will be given to you. i don’t want to throw in the towel.

                                                                                                                                        • thalan

                                                                                                                                          rosie,

                                                                                                                                          I wish i can tell you things will get better,but they want for a guy to do this while you are pregnant means he does not love. I know how it feels I’m in the same boat as you and trust me it does not get any better. I hope your situation works out better than mines

                                                                                                                                          • Alexis

                                                                                                                                            MY ex was abusive to me in every way possible but when i finally noticed i was so hooked on him i didnt want to break up. we finally did after three years and im trying to get God back to my number one spot again like i was… my ex is still keeping me on hold and i know he isnt right and that God doesnt want me to be with him.. but i want love and im trying to have patience but i feel like no guy will want me b/c of all that has happened in my past just with my ex. when i read my own words i know what i need to do is simple and i my friends are there for me to support me but i just dont keep away and i feel like God isnt with me anymore… im a Christian but im lonely and broken inside and the front i put up is fading fast… please say anything that will help, im desperate for God again

                                                                                                                                            • CadyB

                                                                                                                                              Hi Alexis,

                                                                                                                                              I can’t help but to comment after reading your heartfelt post. I’m so sorry you have gone through so much! I truly hope and pray you are in a better place today. And I hope it brings you comfort to know we all go through hardships in our Christian lives. Ultimately God uses these things to perfect us, and teach us. In Psalm 34 it says, “Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him from them all!” If you get a second, please read all of this chapter! It will absolutely bless you!

                                                                                                                                              As single ladies, we are in a unique dilemma. It is comforting to know that God’s love for us is better than anything. But we still hope and pray that a true gentleman will come our way whom we can begin a relationship with. It makes me feel not so alone to consider the hardships of others. Some are having financial difficulty, or health problems. Others have trouble with their children, their spouses, ex spouses, depression, addictions; the list goes on and on. We all encounter disappointments in life. But I believe that all can find through difficulty the blessed hope which is in the Lord Jesus. One of my favorite Scriptures says, “I count all things loss, compared to the excellency of knowing Christ.” When this Scripture becomes real in one’s life, other things simply cease to matter as much.

                                                                                                                                              Alexis, I am SO glad you have good friends. In addition to this, I hope you are finding time to look into the Scriptures, have prayer time, and listen to several of the wonderful preachers we are so blessed to have on this earth with us, such as Joel Osteen, and Joyce Meyers. Please feel free to email me sometime. I am on staff with the church that hosts this site, and will soon have my own email. In the mean time, you are in my thoughts and prayers. We are in this together my sister.

                                                                                                                                              Cadyb

                                                                                                                                              • H. Mickey Gill

                                                                                                                                                With the singular commercial fraud known as Valentine’s Day right around the corner, here’s my next question? Why do we even need it???

                                                                                                                                                • Evangeline Ames

                                                                                                                                                  Everyone who has left a message on this site should pray for one another as well as all of the other broken hearted people in the world. This epidemic is the cause of most situational depression. If left unattended it could lead to a serious chemical imbalance due to continued feelings of despondancy. Supporting each other at this time is critical. No one should have to bear this burden alone. try to think of ways to lift each others spirits. Use humor and love to reverse the feelings of sadness. Let this be a healing rather than hurting experience. “This too shall pass” and you’ll wonder how you ever got through it. But the Good News is that you will get through it. No matter what you feel like or what the situation looks like, KNOW that you will recover. This will make you a better person and lover of yourself and your new special perso in your life. i know you would never want to make anyone feel the way you’ve felt. So respond ot life in a very positive and happy manner. Love and Peace will prevail always

                                                                                                                                                  • Justin Breiner

                                                                                                                                                    I have a hard time feeling anything anymore…the only thing that I do know is that I feel broken. My last relationship ended over a year ago. I really did love her…but the feeling apparently wasn’t mutual. We were pseudo engaged…nothing official but we had discussed marriage as a desire in our lives. The ending of the relationship was a hard one for me. She really was my best friend. I eventually “thought” that I got over it and healed. I even, a few months ago, got the closure that I felt that I needed. I know that she really really loves the man she’s with now and I think that’s what hurts me the most…the fact that I’ve never felt that kind of love towards me. The only comfort that I have and only refuge is Christ. When I feel like I do now he is the only thing that can even begin to heal my broken heart. I guess my question is…what am I not doing? I feel the healing of Christ when I need it most…but I never truly feel healed. I don’t have any spiritual doubts…I know Christ is my Lord and Savior…and the only true path in this world. Is there any advice that anyone can give me? It really is difficult…I start to develop feelings for other women…but I just can’t explain what happens next…I just fade. The only thing that I can think of is that I need to feel that kind of love that was lacking from my last relationship…but if I can’t find it in myself to be in another relationship…what then? Please…any advice would be appreciated.

                                                                                                                                                    • Kayla

                                                                                                                                                      I was with my bf for 3 years. 5 months ago he broke up with me. He told me I’ll never make him happy. The Sunday befor the paster told us you find happiness in God alone. We haven’t talked in 5 months. I see him everyday of my life. I know this man loves me. We have had so many problems because of drugs. I know he left me to drink and get high. He lost so much weight I think he is back on coke too. This man was a youth paster. I can’t believe he picked that dark life over me. I don’t know if I should break the silence by telling him I love him and am praying for him or let him go? I just don’t want this for his life!

                                                                                                                                                      • Nancy

                                                                                                                                                        I hear so many speaking such saddness. I want you to know there is true hope out there. I have a friend who has been married for 16 years. They have been good years until the last year. She told me that she discovered that he was cheating on her through phone records. She has taught me something greater about love.

                                                                                                                                                        They have discussed it, and he is going through the sacrament of penance and they are NOT giving up. For the last two weeks, they have spent a lot of time together rebuilding there marriage. Neither wanted to give each other up nor the marriage. It has reminded me of God’s love. Her love for him is so deep that she is willing to bear the burden with him and forgive. Most would say she is silly, but I can only see the willingness to understand and forgive. I hope one day to experience a love where we are willing to forgive at an extreme cost.

                                                                                                                                                        They are trying very hard to work it out. She said each day gets easier to forgive and move on.

                                                                                                                                                        • JuzMe

                                                                                                                                                          I’m going through a heart break right now that really hurts because the relationship ended abruptly, without an explanation and if anything, just a series of mixed messages. The thing that’s really hard to shake off – and that makes me wonder if it gets easier or harder the more time passes – is that it really felt orchestrated by God – how we met, everything. I don’t claim that for every dating relationship I’ve been in. Actually, this is the first time I’ve thought this and felt what I’ve felt for this man. I now know that it was for a season because I think the guy’s freewill just didn’t choose what God seemed to set up for us, but the thing I’m wondering is….

                                                                                                                                                          the reason I had faith in the relationship’s future, or at least prayed the most I have and trusted God to proceed at the risk of getting hurt (knowing he would heal me),… is simply the fact that it seemed God was directing the way we got to know each other. I felt more secure in this because everytime I asked God for guidance, He would show me His hand in various situations for His glory. I don’t have faith in and sometimes really just want to avoid going on dating sites or going online period to meet men because it does not seem organic enough for me. I want to rely on God in the same way He led me to meet this man. It was worth the wait. I just was not expecting it to end so soon and the way it did. I know with God all things are possible and although I am not setting my heart to believe it, if it’s God’s will God can put 2 people back together… BUT…. I can’t put my faith in that right now…. so right now, I’m convinced to go back to just waiting again. Go back to just focusing on Him rather than meeting other guys because I just hate casual dating, think it’s a waste of time and money and feel a pit in my stomach when I think about it.

                                                                                                                                                          In the process of healing, do you all think this attitude is healthy or unhealthy?

                                                                                                                                                          • Tracy

                                                                                                                                                            Im no expert, and you probably wanted an expert opinion, but based on the pain Ive experienced by not waiting, waiting on God sounds spiritually healthy and like the best way to go for me. This whole relationship thing is so hard. Yet, with everything else. I pray and wait on God and he has met my needs, but with relationships I try to take into my own hands. There have been women at my church who I have seen just go about their business of serving God, and these are the same women who tell me that they werent thinking about dating or marriage. Yet, they are now married. In knowing these women, prior to marriage, they appeared to be (only God knows their hearts) all about Christ and content in their singlehood. They had their own ministies in the church. They were not over the top gorgeous, and didnt seem to spend a lot of effort in the mirror and shopping. For me, I think that I have to put God first in my life. And live to fulfill Gods plan, for his glory. And when I do, if and when it is his will he will open that door. Only God knows why he puts some people together and who he keeps single. Since I wrote the above comment, Ive been sticking close to a sister in Christ (shes had a similar experience), and we build each other up to feeling good about where God has us now “single”.

                                                                                                                                                            • Deborah

                                                                                                                                                              I just wanted to share me experience. I was single for many years. I was very devoted to God. I keep praying for God to send me someone. I did have different chances. I was very firm that they had to serve & be a believer in God. I got weary & ended up marry a man that I knew when I was 15 years old. This man was a real charmer & very good to me at first, but that was not his true colors. His true colors we he had no morals, no character, & no integrity. He said that he grew up Catholic so thought that he would start going to church with me, but that never happen. This man put me through a lot of pain & suffering. He got into drugs & cheated by having extramarital affairs. He had women over when I was not there. He had many demons that he was fighting: Porn, drugs, alcohol, & very mentally/verbally abusive. He even burnt all my clothes. he has kicked me & our baby out numerous time so that he could have his freedom. Please wait on God to bring you the right person! I know the pain that comes from being lonely/single hurts, but the pain of going through a bad marriage & divorce is far more serve. It is very painful. I don’t believe in divorce but I can’t keep going through this heartache with a man that keeps cheating. Plus not to mention there are too many diseases out there. I have a son to raise now as a single mother.

                                                                                                                                                              • Jessica

                                                                                                                                                                Dear peeps,
                                                                                                                                                                I’m fifteen and have previously never had a relationship with a guy before. I have felt so needy the last past year or so now though and really wanted someone to care about me and love me. And then my dream came true… I lovely wonderful amazing 16 year old guy told me that he loved me and wanted to have a relationship with me. My parents are against having relationships so young, so I agreed secretly. This was all on msn btw. So…. anyways we were planning to get together as soon as possible and he was gonna kiss me on the lips and show me how he loved me. I felt so wonderful. At peace!!!! We talked stacks on msn coz we don’t get to see each other that often and I thought really got to know him. Then I found out that he had another girl friend and everything he sayed to me he also says to her. I feel absolutely desolate, broken, and pulled to pieces by the only person I have ever trusted. I haven’t said anything to him yet, he doesn’t even know that I know!!! I’m gonna tell him soon that it is sooo over between us, and I need help to know what to do??? My heart is rendered in two!! I could of done things with him that I could never get back. I am just so glad that I didn’t see him and so have had physical attatchment as well as emotional to deal with. Am I supposed to forgive the jerk???? Deep down I still almost feel like I love him….. but I know that’s stupid… plz help me….

                                                                                                                                                                • kd

                                                                                                                                                                  Im a 35 year old single mom who has been praying for the right man to come along since before my son was born more than 12 years ago. In the last 12+ years I have been involved with one man, and that lasted for just under a year. That was 5 years ago. We broke up on my 30th birthday. A month later I lost my job, had to pull my son out of private school, sell my home and file for bankruptcy. when it rains it pours, doesnt it? I spent about 2 months laying in bed crying. I found another job, but was very unhappy. I felt that God was leading me back to college, so my son and I moved back into my parents home, I left my job and went back to school. Not long ago, I fell in love with a professor. Of course, I did not let him or anyone else know and have not seen him since my class with him ended in December. It is possible for me to end up in one of his classes again. I would really just like to move on and am seeking guidance and friendly support. I also have to wonder why we sometimes fall for the wrong person. It is so painful and I feel so stupid all the time. Im in love with him.

                                                                                                                                                                  • Ryan

                                                                                                                                                                    I just got out of a Relationship with someone that i loved very much and she was the first person i actually truly fell in love with she even went to my church and i thought she was perfect for me but she left me for someone else and this other person isn’t a Christian and I thought if she is a Christian why would she leave me for someone that isn’t? I am very heart broken I don’t know what to do or think and its like i don’t want to see her yet i do and i can’t help seeing her if she continues to go to my church i see her there. Can anyone give me some advice what i should do and how to get over my heart brokenness

                                                                                                                                                                    • Kelele

                                                                                                                                                                      I prayed and fasted for about 5 years for my future husband. When he finally did arrive, our relationship did not even last 6 months. I would like to know if I prayed wrong, wasn’t he the one I had prayed for or did I miss God. I was so shattered that I stopped going to church and wandered off into the world where I met a man with whom I had a child. I am disillusioned with God, I am hurt to the deepest part of my soul. Why did God send him if he wasn’t the one for me? Is it possible to pray for someone who doesn’t even know that he has been chosen for you? How do I recover? How do I start to believe God again when he took away the desires of my heart?

                                                                                                                                                                      • Neil

                                                                                                                                                                        Wow! I just happened to be looking around christian websites and stumbled on this blog. Just reading all these stories about heartbreak and pain has helped me in my healing process. I fell in love with a non christian woman (she’s 37, I’m 46). She’s into smoking marijuana and drinks heavily & I was hoping she would change her ways for me. Wrong! However, there is no animosity between us and we remain friends. I now know that I should wait on God for a Christian woman and ultimately a wife.
                                                                                                                                                                        I agree with so many of the people here that it’s difficult to be patient in waiting for the Lord to send us our hearts’ desires. It’s so easy to turn away from Him because we may be feeling lonely and need a loving partner. I gave in to my desires instead of guarding my heart and paid the price of heartbreak. Thankfully, God has eased the burden and I have gained new strength in walking with Jesus.
                                                                                                                                                                        In the end we all need to hang on to Him no matter what we go through. Even though it causes confusion, pain and massive heartache as so many of you have felt, in the end God has a purpose for all our lives. Keep going everyone, hang on to Jesus by your fingernails if necessary!
                                                                                                                                                                        To Kelele, if you happen to come back to this blog again. The only advice I can give you is that recovery starts on your knees in prayer and a whole lot of tears.

                                                                                                                                                                        • Matshepo

                                                                                                                                                                          I just broke of with my boyfriend of 3 months, the reason we broke up is that I asked him about the plans of our relationship and he said that he doesn’t want to get married nor commit himself. What was I supposed to do? hang in that relationship for the fear of been lonely? or hope that someday he’ll come around? I am still confused and I feel as if I rushed him or asked many questions in a short period of time…… I mean if he doesn’t want to commit himself in our relationship, what am I still doing in the relationship? I am not in a rush to get married but I need to feel that I am in a stable relationship, where I will feel safe and secured.

                                                                                                                                                                          • nathan beck

                                                                                                                                                                            i caught my girlfriend cheating on me with one of friends..they did say that before they were about to have intercourse, they thought ‘what were doin is wrong…we shouldnt be doin this’…i walked in my this time, screamed a little, but mostly couldnt stop crying…this morn my gf(now ex) said she wants to be free and isnt ready for commitment…we went for a walk, and sat on the beach, she cried her eyes out for ages, and said shes so sorry..i didnt know it was possible to feel this kind of pain..its so intense…i dont know what to do…help me please….

                                                                                                                                                                            • Emily F

                                                                                                                                                                              I was seeing someone, and I really cared for him. even though many things were against our relationship (family, and age factor), but he promised me things would work… and I gave it a go. Then he cheated on me… and even after blamed me for it… saying I should have walked out if I knew something might happen… and still after pretendned to be with me, while at the same time tryin to win this other girl over. Now… Im so angry after finding out, and I really want to destroy him for what he’s done… and I hate feeling this way… Its like after everything I tried and prayed for… he’s getting what he wants… and Im left with nothing. I dont know what to do anymore… cant pray.. because I dont know what to say anymore and I really dont feel like God is listening or cares about me. People will say I should be glad to have an abusive and cheating man out of my life… but… even though he switched off easily from me… I cared about him and it hurts that after everything, he does this…

                                                                                                                                                                              • Rina- 21 yrs

                                                                                                                                                                                I don’t know what to do!!!
                                                                                                                                                                                I broke up with my bf of 1 and a half years because we were getting intimate and i didn’t want to displease God. However, 3 months later, i got with a guy-who was my friend of six months[i did have a liking for him, but initially, it wasn’t my intention to be with him]. Nevertheless, it only lasted 2 months- he broke it off{his excuse was just incomprehensible}. I was greatly heartbroken. Remembering it, brings back the literal feelings that i felt then. Hypertension, dizziness, lack of appetite…death{you know}. Well, i really loved him, and seeing that we were at school- seeing him every day, just didn’t help. Worst of all- i lost weight and i had to lie to family and friends about the reason why i got smaller.
                                                                                                                                                                                Well, for seven months i prayed to God to bring us back together. I also told God to let his will be done nonetheless. But deep down, i wanted MY will to be His.
                                                                                                                                                                                It so happens that he came back, naturally i gladly accepted! Now, we’re together. But, it is not what i dreamed it to be! His intention is to be with me up to being married! I’d like that…but, i don’t feel it! I haven’t been happy since we got back together because he’s continually ignoring my needs as his girlfriend and he is too friendly with the females he encounters, it’s like i no longer exist, because i receive little attention from him. Sometimes i feel as if I’m just a “trophy girlfriend’. We’re both Christians- I believe that God is trying to teach me a lesson. I really need some advice!!!! I wanna break it off, but i don’t believe I’ll survive mentally…
                                                                                                                                                                                I feel sometimes that he intentionally tries to make me jealous when he’s giving those girls so much attention when we’re together, he doesn’t even introduce me as his girlfriend to his female friends, only to the males. Well, he doesn’t introduce me period to his female friends!!!! ??????
                                                                                                                                                                                I have guy friends, but i don’t talk to them much because i know he’ll feel jealous – i feel so dumb! It’s like destroying my life for his sake., and receiving little to nothing in the return.
                                                                                                                                                                                I don’t believe he’s mature enough to handle a girlfriend – his “rookiness” brings me daily pain! I say that I love him, but, this can’t be love! I can’t even trust him!! I believe it’s love, i don’t know!!
                                                                                                                                                                                Please- What do you think?
                                                                                                                                                                                What’s God answer to this strange relationship that I’m in?

                                                                                                                                                                                • Christian sister

                                                                                                                                                                                  I’m a 30year old woman, I am getting confused now. Do i have to consider being with a man who loves me with all his heart and soul(and waited for the last 12years) but i still don’t ? Its scares me to think I would never find a love like his or lose a friend like him.
                                                                                                                                                                                  we are long time friends since childhood and we had kept distance after i learned he was in love. we recently started meeting again and he’s still completely in love and extremely vulnerable. I have no idea what to do. I’m gonna break his heart again. Will it help him if i be with him for awhile?

                                                                                                                                                                                  • Wayne

                                                                                                                                                                                    I loved a girl who was broken up with her Ex. In her broken heart time, i accompanied with her and went to travel. At last, i found i love her. Unfortunately, she still loved her Ex, even that guy did many thing to hurt her. She still keeps loving him. When i tried to told her the reality, she became to hate me. I gave her too much thing, include love. i feel pain, can’t sleep. this sad experience have effected my work and study. Last week, i went to church and prayed. At that time, i felt much better. But the problem is still here. i can’t avoid the contact with her, because she’s my classmate and workmate in a department of hospital. It’s a hardest thing to letting go. But i’m still keeping pray to God to healing my broken heart. I tried to believe God have prepare a life to enjoy. i will meet the right one can go together through all my life and can give me a warm family.

                                                                                                                                                                                    • Jodi

                                                                                                                                                                                      Dear Christian Sister,

                                                                                                                                                                                      I can hear from your comments that you care deeply for this person and do not want to see him hurt. Love is something you have to feel in order to be in a relationship. Otherwise you are not being fair to either of you. It is very tempting for you to want to try to reutrn his feelings. He is obviously a dear friend, you enjoy spending time together and there isn’t much more appealing than a man who loves us with all his heart.

                                                                                                                                                                                      Even if you were with him for a while, it would be more upsetting for both of you when things didn’t work out. I know you must feel like this may be your only opportunity to have a man that is so devoted to you. God has a perfect plan for you. Try to have faith. If you do not have feelings for this man and it just doesn’t feel right, that may be the Holy Spirit trying to guide you. Spend some time along with God where you can really quite your heart and your soul. Ask him to reveal to you His will in this situation. Open your heart and He will pour Himself into it and you will know what is right,

                                                                                                                                                                                      God Bless, Jodi
                                                                                                                                                                                      Christian Singles Blog Moderator

                                                                                                                                                                                      • Hope

                                                                                                                                                                                        Wayne,

                                                                                                                                                                                        I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 1 year. I loved him very much and I am heartbroken and it is affecting all aspects of my life as well. I pray but it still comes up. What have you been doing to get you through the days?

                                                                                                                                                                                        • Dad of 4 boys

                                                                                                                                                                                          The short of it is that my wife of 17 years woke me up last spring and said she wanted a divorce, that she needed to find her happiness. I have tried to work things out, Marrage retreats, Counseling, “us time”, and lots of prayer. She has moved out and I have filed for divorce. No fighting or anger. Saddness: yes. Confussion: big YES. I have the boys and everything else, she just wants to be “free”. If I did not have a good relation with Jesus and a great men’s group at my church this could easily be un-bareable. I hurt bad, like when my father passed away and when a friend and Team mate of mine was murdered. With God’s help I’ll make it and raise my boys well. I have to failure is not an option. She’s a good woman and I pray she finds what she needs.

                                                                                                                                                                                          • David Author

                                                                                                                                                                                            Dear brother, I am praying for you as you mend your broken heart. You may want to check out some of articles on single christian parenting on this site…

                                                                                                                                                                                            Pastor David
                                                                                                                                                                                            http://oasis-church-nj.com
                                                                                                                                                                                            Moderator at Christian Dating Service Plus!

                                                                                                                                                                                            • Marcell

                                                                                                                                                                                              Just looking for some sound advice here. I am currently on deployment and am really in need of some help out here! I’ve been staying in the word and have been steadfast in prayer. Well recently I was engaged to a very great gal and have broken up. We both met each other before I started going to church and gave my life to Christ. We were living together and indulging in our flesh. After some time I realized that what I was doing was wrong and to try and make things “ok” I asked her to marry me. We decided to get married this last June. In May just before I left for a one month out to sea period she called me and asked me to come see her. When I got to her house she said she was leaving and I watched her drive away in this truck with these two guys. Well when I got back from my underway I went home on leave for a couple weeks and my little sister passed away. To top it off I found out through a friend that my ex-fiancée was pregnant. Well July came around and I gave into temptation and started talking to her again. We decided to work things out and I was going to slowly let her back in. She ended up having a miscarriage a week before I left for deployment. She kept telling me that she wanted to work things out and that she’d be there for me when I got back from deployment and how we were going to fix things and everything was going to be peachy! Well six days out to sea her sister sends me an email describing how my fiancée moved out and moved back in with the guy she cheated on me with. So I have just been totally confused. I know I need to move on I’m not completely naive. I know that this is the Lord’s will and if it is His will for me to be married He will send me a Godly righteous woman who will push me to do more for the Lord and not hold me back. I just keep thinking about her and I have heard from some of her friends that she is doing drugs again and living her old lifestyle. I care about her even though I know in my heart I need to let it go and move on. I am wondering if I should even be praying for her. A part of me hopes that one day she’ll turn away from her sins and realize what she is doing but until then I know that I need to focus on the Lord. I am in so much hurt right now especially because I am stuck on this ship and I don’t have too many people to talk to about this. I keep giving it to the Lord but I still find myself with many thoughts about her and I have cut every tie to her. Even if I wanted to talk to her I couldn’t. Somebody that knows her got my email somehow and started emailing me. I don’t know if it’s the enemy trying to confuse me or not but I asked her to please leave me alone because I really don’t know what to do. Thank you for your time. Pray for me!

                                                                                                                                                                                              • Liz

                                                                                                                                                                                                My Fiance left me the beginning of November. We dated for 2 years and were engaged for 4 months. He just all of a sudden told me he felt like it was not God’s plan for us to be together, He said I did nothing wrong. My heart aches so much. I miss him. He was my best friend, and I loved him so much. Please pray that God would heal my heart. Sometimes I feel like I go two steps forward then 3 steps back. I just wanna move on and see what God has in store for me!

                                                                                                                                                                                                • Stephanie

                                                                                                                                                                                                  For the last 5 and a half years, I have dated a married man. We fell in deep love with one another; however, he stayed married. I didn’t think that he was with his wife sexually nor planning a future with her; but, over the years, he had done things like giving her the same gifts that he gave me, taking her places we went, etc. We worked together for a while and I invested a lot ($200K+) into his business and lost it all. We still stayed together. He lied to me a lot, more than I could describe in 100 pages. I felt this supernatural forgiveness for him each time. I thought we were soul mates for real.
                                                                                                                                                                                                  He is just now starting his divorce even though he told me time and again he was doing it and even told me a month ago that it was done. He wants to marry me as soon as it is finalized. What is going on now is that I am so angry with him for all of this deceit and lies over all the years. One night, I prayed really sincerely that God would shove me hard in the direction I should go with this man. I specifically asked that God make the event so ironic that I would recognize it as from him. The ironic event happened.
                                                                                                                                                                                                  Now the pain of all the years and of the loss of the relationship is overwhelming. He begs and begs to stay together. Says he’s more sorry than he imagined anyone can be. He says that my unforgiving heart is ruining us. I have asked him to go away for a while and let me heal and be good to me from afar. He won’t. He wants us to be together now but I’m just so upset about how everything has happened that I cannot just be an item with him again. On top of all that, my best friend of 10+ years just declared that he loves me and wants to marry me.
                                                                                                                                                                                                  I pray that God will heal my broken heart and show me what to do. I’m so confused about what God is telling me to do even though every one around me says that God is obviously telling me to get away from the man and be with my best friend.
                                                                                                                                                                                                  —Please pray for me. I’m a new Christian and if I am involved in some kind of spiritual warfare that is creating this unforgiveness or confusion, pray that I can handle it and do God’s will for me and my 2 girls.

                                                                                                                                                                                                  • Alison

                                                                                                                                                                                                    I have no idea how you mend a broken heart other than to give it to God afresh. This is what I’m trying to do. I met my ex-fiance on christian mingle after many years of singleness (13) and it didn’t work out. We were together for 3 years. I was so upset and mad at God that I just thought ‘fine since you don’t care about me or listen to me I’ll do my own thing’. Well that was a stupid way to go. I ended up going abroad to work and meeting a non christian man. We lived and worked together and he told me loved me and wanted to marry me. I thought ‘well why not since God isn’t providing me with any christian husband’. This man turned out to be the possible kind of man. He’s a cheater, liar, con man and violent man. He is also married and lied about that to me. I didn’t marry him obviously but he hurt me very badly and treated me worse than an animal. To make matters worse I am 3 months pregnant by him. I thank God that He shut doors and protected me and got me back home safely but I feel so bad for backsliding so much and now bringing another life into the world in this way. I was a mature christian who let her need and desire for love and companionship take over. My christian friends don’t know what to think of me and I know that they are disappointed in me. I am disappointed in me more than they ever could be. I know church would probably help me but I am too ashamed to attend. I just wish I could turn back the clock.
                                                                                                                                                                                                    I don’t know how to heal but I pray God does and that He hears me. I need Him desperately. I pray too for everyone here that needs his healing and comfort.

                                                                                                                                                                                                    • Renee'

                                                                                                                                                                                                      Allison, I have been in your shoes! My heart ached when I read your story. You cannot turn back the clock, and you cannot undo your mistakes, but you CAN learn from them! And you ARE worthy to go to church and seek comfort and guidence in this scary and stressful time. You are still loved by God! Your actions have not changed that fact one bit. What your actions did was cause a consequence that is painful. As I write this, I am feeling my very own consequence, and it hurts. I stayed in a relationship with a non-believer for over four years, knowing full well that it wasn’t right. I had absolutely no peace. My relationship with him has recently ended, and I feel lonely, sad and guilty. I also know that I am doing the right thing by letting him go. You did the right thing by getting out of a toxic and abusive relationship. Although you feel disappointed in yourself, but all you can do from this point is move ahead and forgive yourself. Remember to seek out people in your life that will support you, and to avoid people that will just want to condemn you and judge you. You are your own worst judge, and you do not need any more negativity in your life. Embrace the grace that God has for you and move ahead into a new life. Take one day at a time. I know that it is scary, but remember that you are not alone. I myself was seeking solace in my own pain tonight, and when I ran across your post…I was reminded that there are many others out there that have their own hurts as well. God bless you Allison. I pray for health for you and your baby, and healing from the pain of a toxic relationship. -Renee’

                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Andrew

                                                                                                                                                                                                        Dear Alison was just curios about how to mend a broken heart so I read your story, as I to have had a troubled year. On reading your story my heart goes out to you. FOR WE ALL make mistakes, which is why you should remember the story of the prodigal son, yes we feel terrible and ashamed, BUT the Lord loves you beyond measure Alison, his heart is for you not against you. While you were far of he has been looking and waiting for you to return to him. Do not let people who do not understand the Grace of our Lord put you of, seek him and let him bless you, remember God makes the best of every situation. You are wonderfully made,read psalm139, v13–16.
                                                                                                                                                                                                        Seek out and hold onto his Grace he LOVES us more than we can understand. Andrew

                                                                                                                                                                                                        • Vilmaris

                                                                                                                                                                                                          I’ve been broken hearted for a year and 4 months, so far. Depression is taking over, i’m 20 years old with a 2 year old daughter. My daughter father and i been together for four years. Well he cheated on me with a women he barely knew and got her pregnant, and married her. All this happened within a year. Words can’t describe how hurt i was.
                                                                                                                                                                                                          A year past and i’m still reliving everything that happened. The spirit of depression is knocking me down. My heart still is in pain. I want to get out of it but it follows. Its effecting me in many ways. I worry because i have a beautiful little girl i have to take care of. I know that the blood of Jesus heals all. Brothers and Sisters may you pray for me, pray that God may heal me and rescue me from this spirit of depression.
                                                                                                                                                                                                          I Know he Will heal me, i know he”ll work on me.
                                                                                                                                                                                                          Thank You and God Bless You All

                                                                                                                                                                                                          • Nakia Jordan

                                                                                                                                                                                                            Marcell,

                                                                                                                                                                                                            I say yes to your question , if you should continue to Pray for your ex-girlfriend…she is standing in the need of prayer, especially if she is doing drugs. I am praying for you for strength, peace and forgiveness. You have to let her go, not because its something you want to do, but because God needs you to step aside and let Him have his way with her. I feel your pain, I have been though a similar situation, except he just didn’t love me the way God did.
                                                                                                                                                                                                            I can understand how lonely it is on a ship and if you need someone to talk to or write to you can write me: Nakia.jordan@yahoo.com
                                                                                                                                                                                                            I have several family members currently in the military and I try to keep their moral up though words and packages. I would be more then happy to send you words of encouragement. Nakia

                                                                                                                                                                                                            • rein

                                                                                                                                                                                                              My story is a little different. I dated my childhood sweetheart for over 3 years and got pregnant by accident. We got engaged and I was so excited to get married. I asked the Lord for his help, and if this was the man he wanted for me. He opened my eyes and helped me realize that something was off. I pleaded with my fiance, telling him about how i felt. It was then he admitted his addiction to drugs which has been going on throughout the whole relationship. For the safety of my child, myself and in obedience to God, i ended everything. Im left alone, pregnant and with a shattered heart. Can someone tell me something that will help make sense as to why all this is happening in my life?!?!

                                                                                                                                                                                                              • Dad of 4 boys

                                                                                                                                                                                                                I know I’ll get through this, God works in his own time. But BOY is this rough. I’ve had family members and friends/ TEAM mates pass, even murdered. I have never felt the hurt like this before. I deal with people in crisis all the time as a L.E.O and negotiator. None of that has preparied me to be on this end, I pray I’ll be better for it.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                Last week I came onto some information about my wife, I asked her about it and her answers were vauge and re-directing. I may be wrong, but I feel there is more to this than she’s telling me. I did not confront her, just asked. We have not fought even through all this and I want to keep it that way.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                I went home and cried. I’m a fixer, and for about a half an hour all I could do was sit there crying and praying. It had finial hit that the marrage is dead, She really does not want to be my wife or a full time mom to our boys. It hurts bad, but I know God will see us through this.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                • yan-yan

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Smiling couldn’t hide the pain I feel inside my heart so I try to search for help.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I loved someone who doesn’t love me at all…. she cheated on me, damp me without saying the truth about her boyfriend and now she got pregnant……

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I don’t know how to forgive her after all she done to me… I loved her before but now I hate her so much… Don’t know how to overcome this pain and heal this broken heart of mine….

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Please help….

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  • Dad of 4 boys

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Regarding a broken heart, a good friend reminded me that what’s past is in the past and cannot be changed. He made me thing of an old things I have used in dealing with others in crisis: “you can get bitter or you can get better, It’s up to you.” I think God just told me to get better.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    • Livinginvictoryoverevi

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Gosh… i went through something bad recently… i ignored God’s warnings and relied on my own understanding… and now i have a broken heart… i met and fell for a guy who turned out to be shady and living with another woman… He always came up with excuses as to why i cannot go to his place… he also used me for money… he made himself seem poorer so that i would borrow him money ( i come from a rich family)… I recently found out that he is living with this woman in a posh neighborhood… the house probably belongs to this woman… but anyways…. After i found out he disapeared without so much as an explanation… i am still so angry at him and myself because at one point i suspected something was wrong but i kept on with the relationship because i wanted to believe his lies that he loved me and would marry me… why didn’t i listern to God’s warnings… i let the devil decieve me…. he lets you believe that you are in control and yet… he is ploting against you… my spirit was weak then…. but i am getting stronger…. i am crying to the lord each and every day…. i ask the holy spirit to take away the pain and anger and fill my heart with the peace of God…. let there be peace in my heart…. I have my good and bad days…. i’ve cut him out of my life as hard as it was because the weakness of my flesh still longs for his hugs…etc…. But i have faith that eventually i will overcome and that there is a good reason as to why god finally revealed to me his lie… i believe that God is setting me up for something very God… right now he is preparing the man of my life and all we have to do is meet! Amen..

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • taiesha

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        i’m 17 and my heart has been broken so many times i’ve never been kissed or had a boyfriend but it seems like i liked alot of boys maybe to find closure since my dad isn’t around…i cry almost everyday my heart is just filled with so much pain i need help i love God but i just need him to heal me faster i kno he takes his time with thingsz but my heart is shattered in a ,million pieces i have so much pain inside i want to make room for other things but noone or nothing can fit. my friends come to me with their issues but no0 one is there for me to go to besides God…i need my heart to be free to love and be happpy not have a big black hole!!! my heart will get mended then it just shreads into pieces right again i’m so tired of this hurt and pain i’ve been made fun of since i came out the womb…my heart is soo broke i need help….someone please give me an answer!!!!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        • Kelly

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Here goes….I met this guy at my church in 06/2004 at the time he was 20 and I was 24, his birthday was coming up the next month. He chased me for about a month before I knew that he was even chasing me. to get to the point we started dating, sexing, we were so in LOVE, so I thought we were. One day we were hanging out and he phone rang, I asked who it was because the phone kept ringing but he didnt answer. He said oh its nobody well the nobody turned out to be his ex girlfriend, I couldnt believe that he had decided to lie to me about something so small anywho we stayed together until Jan of the next year. He broke up wih me… I was straight up devasated. I was literally sick every time I thought about him or when I saw him at church I would cry, this break up and make up session has been going on since then. the first two years of the break up He had been dating other girls and even brought them to church. I like my church, the Pastors have been awsome in teaching me. I can honestly say that I have grown spiritually there but there is also a lot of hurt there from some members. Recently, this month he has just all of a sudden decided to shut me out, I havent heard from him in three weeks, I seen him at church but he wont return any of my calls or text. I have left out a lot do to time but how do I move on …………………………..

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          • Jodi

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Dear Kelly,

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I am so sorry that your heart has been broken. Our hearts have great capacity to love and consequently a capacity to hurt as well.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            When we are with someone new our emotions can feel so strong. We almost feel euphoric. The temptation to enter into a sexing relationship is almost more than we can bear. We know as beleivers that it is not. God knows that we will all experience temptation. If we remain in faith we can overcome our sinful desires (1 Corinthians 10:13)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            That may be helpful for you going forward, but right now you are just feeling abandoned. Know that God has not abandoned you. I am so happy that you have a Christian family to help you through this.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            For the people there who have caused you pain, including your ex, the best way you can deal with that is to forgive them.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            This is not you excusing their behavior, this will ultimately lead to your inner healing. God promises that He will deal with our accusers. (Romans 12:19) What an awesome promise! It is like having a BIG BROTHER at your side every day to protect and fight for you.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Sadly even members of our own Christian familys, including your ex-boyfriend will be the cause of our pain. In the end we are all sinners. Sometimes we cannot be delivered from our pain, but God will deliver you through the fire, just like he did for Daniel. Whenever I feel like I am going to explode in anger or pain I pray for God to restore in me peace. If I listen carefully I can hear Him telling me “Be still, be still” Keep those words in your heart when you are feeling weak and know that He is LORD.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            God Bless,

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Jodi

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            • che

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              im a single mom with two kids and there’s one coming up. im in a deep pain right now because the father of my kids or my so called boyfriend left me with another woman, he cheated on me while im pregnant with our 2nd child. That really breaks my heart, i had love him so much and i have devoted my entire life with him. and I think he never love me in return despite of all the goodness that i’ve shown him. Right now, he tried to go back with us, but i’ve heard that he was still with this woman’ and i can’t really say that his sincere enough, im really confused, that until now i still cant over with this pain that he created. please help me, how to mend this broken heart.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              • Sandra

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I haven’t read every posting, but from the subject matter I know that we are all dealing with a broken heart. I know God will mend my broken heart, but my frustration is within myself. I keep picking up the circumstance and in doing so I know that I am not allowing God to do His work. I pray, read, meditate on His Word and the thought continues to overtake me. I don’t want to be remembered of the heart break. I’m tired of asking how did I get here. I know how I got here, by my own choice. I truly want peace and to accept that God knows what’s best. I also believe that I am dealing with deception… the unbelief of it.. Things happen for a reason, but I just want to know why it does. Is that wrong? If I knew maybe I would feel better. I need patience to allow God to repair my heart and to leave it alone and more than likely we all do…Just to leave it alone.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                • Jodi

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Dear Sandra,

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I can feel the agony in your heart just reading your words. Aside from your hurt it sounds like you are experiencing some spiritual warfare. The apostle Peter tells us clearly that the enemy prowls around us like a hungry lion. (1 Peter 5:8) The more you try to immerse yourself in God’s word he is spinning a web of lies around you. Lies are Satan’s stock in trade. He is the ‘fathers” every deception (John 8:44)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  When we are in our suffering and deep in the pit. All Satan has to do is watch and cheer us on. When the enemy sees us reaching toward God and immersing ourselves in prayer he enters a state of panic. He starts feeding us lies, preying on our hurts and using everything he can to keep us deceived.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  God works all things together for good, (Romans 8:28) although it may not yet be revealed to us. It is not wrong to want to know the greater purpose in our sufferings. It our faith in God’s plan for us as His children that keep us on His path. The enemy is going to take advantage of this and keep telling you “if you just knew why, you would be better. Don’t I deserve to know why I am feeling this pain? Why is God allowing this and not giving a reason for it? A loving God would surely provide relief”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  You need to out on the armor of God in order to beat the enemy at his own game(Ephesians 6:11) Then you can tell the enemy to get behind you and watch out! (Matthew 16:23)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  God wants you to be at peace and fill you up with all of His love and mercy. He is omnipotent, and the enemy is no match for His power. Rely on His strength when you are so clearly being attacked. Shame, guilt, and fear are all of Satan’s tools.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  God Bless,

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Jodi

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  • Alice Rowe

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    i’m a little young for being in love, i’ll admit it. But i know i am because i want to die if i don’t have chris. i met him, and we never talkede about our feelings. one day we just held hands in class. i was like the smart girl and he was the skater guy. i was new at the school. but i ruined it all a year ago when i decided i could do better and i shut him out. i realized how stupid i’d been when it was too late. now i know i loved him and was pushing those feelings away. well, i hurt him and now i’m in pain. its been months. i just want to die. but i found out that i’d been living 4 him without even realizing it. thats why i’ve been miserable. i need to live for God, he will never change on me. people are happy when they’ve somethin to look forward to, and now i have showing God’s love each day and i hope a spot in heaven. it was my first true love and i’ll never forget, i’m trying to move on, and it is painful, but there’s someone else out there.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    • Heather

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      My husband of 5 years just blind sided me one day… he said “I just don’t feel it for you anymore”. I had no warning signs.. we never argued- he was my partner and best friend. I was deeply in love and so happy in my marriage.. I really thought it was going to last forever. It took about two months before I caught him with a horrible person who called herself my “best friend”. It has been 14 months.. the divorce has been final for 5 months and I am still in horrible pain. I pray constiantly, went through “Divorce Care” (13 week christian divorce recovery), have tried everything to feel better, be better, move on… I just don’t know how to stop loving him, stop missing him. Even after he betrayed me and is still involved with her.. I am lost with out him. I fear no man will ever compare to the love and connection I felt with him. I’m almost 40 years old.. how did I get here? I am so alone and lonley…. I can hardly type through my tears.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • sean

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        my wife left me for someone else after 20 years we have 2 lovely children and i thank her for that but the pain is tremndous

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        • Priscila

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I met the most wonderful guy in church, after some months he asked me to be his girlfriend. 2 years later he broke up with me. I was devastated, i felt into a deppresion for months. During that time we were still talking but fighting a lot. But we still love each other, or at least i thought. I time i got very bad and I got into his email, and i discover he was having a “relationship” wit my ex-bestfriend, the one who tried to separate us for a long time. I got shocked, I couldn’t believe it. Then i started to get my life back in order, slowly. We go to the same school now, and we have talk and we told each other that we were still in love, but we decided to pray first. He got no answer, and i got a yes. We discussed this and decided to do it again. I got a yes but to wait, he got no answer. Instead he ask my ex-bestfriend to be his girlfriend. This girl is 7 years older than him, he tells me that God told him that it was ok to have a relationship with her. And we dont know what to do, he is very confused. But thanks to this i’ve been changing tons of things in my life, i’ve been praying, reading the bible and depending more on God. But im thinking that maybe it wasn’t God, i mean i want this so bad, because im only very happy with him, he is a great guy and if we get back together i want to change things, but since i want this so bad, i’m thinking that my mind tricked me. It’s not that i dont have faith in God, but the enemy just wants to attack me in anyway it can. I’ve been praying and i got answers, but sometimes i just want to quit, and when i quit, something just brings me to the same thing. God knows that this is the most important thing in my life.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          • Ashley W Davis

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            hi, I am a single mom of a beautiful 18-month old girl. I went through a devestating break up with her father and I notice that you all give referrals to christian support groups for single parents. Please refer me, I currently live in Birmingham, Al and yes I am in a good word church that teaches the uncompromising word of God but currently there isnt a support group for single parents there so if you all could refer me I would greatly appreciate it, thks

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            • akua

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              My fiance actually came to my apartment and beat me over a very flimsy misunderstanding. After that he told me i am a witch and that he will never marry me. I then gave up on him considering the fact that he was able to hit me. i feel so broken hearted simply because thinking about the fact that he beat me up really humiliates me alot

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              • Sabrina

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Hello, I am in a friendship with this guy I have been knowning for 5 years. We were college puppy lovers…now that I am in my Senior yr of school, I am ready for a real relationship with this guy, I really love him. I feel he do not feel the same way but we talk and see each other all the time. He states, “I’m not ready for a girlfriend right now”. Ok, something is clearly wrong with this picture because he say’s I’m the only girl he is talking with. He just moved in a apartment, ever since then he do not answer my phone call at night. I am thinking he is with another girl. Should I continue to talk with this guy even tho he isn’t ready for a relationship? I have thought about leaving this guy but I feel as if I am in Love with him and don’t know how to tell him that I want to leave. I have ask him several times he needs to change his ways. I also feel like he is not into me at times. I can’t even ask him questions with out him saying smart comments or blowing his breath. The worse thing is I can’t even ask him how his day went without him getting mad!!! We have been arguring for several months now…I ask hiim on day if we could just get alone for one day. Well, not much luck…
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Some one please help me figure out what to do!!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I went to God and asked him to send me the right person. I think some times I need to let this guy go, so I can move on and maybe the right guy would come along. I am confused on what to do.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                • Shana

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  The voice you may have heard, may not have been from God. Especially if this guy is your whole world. Especially if you are letting an unhealthy relationship consume you, and maybe at times you put this relationship before God. The devil will try to find a weakness in you and use it to tear you down. Such as this relationship. Let go of the relationship, and focus on God. Ask Him to give you clarity, peace, and strength to get through things. He will help you to become a complete person. and then you can be in a healthy relationship. But the one you described above, does not seem like one.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  • Tammie Nebbitts

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Hello everyone,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    My name is Tammie and this is my first time here. I’ve read alot of the responses and I must say I have also been where you guys are and I’m still there as we speak. I lost the man I loved so Much……. My best friend to his ex- girlfriend because I was not heavy enough or light enough. At first I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. Then I remembered I had to go back. Back to JESUS that is. No one is ever going to love me the ways Jesus does. So you know what I did? I prayed my way through it and I’m still praying. I’m still hurt. But when you think of the goodness of Jesus and all he has to offer. It just makes the situation so much easier. Don’t get me wrong the first 2months or so was bad for me. I didn’t know if I was coming or going. I just had to take it one day at a time. Remember that God has something better in store for us. thats why we are going through. part of it anyway, But my advice to you is pray seek God first and have faith. Don’t waver in your faith. Know that you know that you know God will supply all our needs according to his riches and glory. Until next time BE BLESSED>>>>>>>>>

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    • Paula

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      This is in response to Heather’s message…I have an ex-husband who I loved very much. I still do to be honest. But he’s still with the woman he chose over me 4 years ago. It still hurts to see them together, not to mention, I have to send our son to their home every other weekend and one day a week. I loved him with everything in me, to the point that I loved him MORE than I loved me. He was a constant cheater and I always wondered what was wrong with me. Why didn’t he love me enough to be faithful to me. Here I am four years later…I can see now that my ex-husband was hindering my walk with God. I was so focused on all of the drama, and constantly wondering what he was doing. I can honestly say that even though it still hurts a little, each day gets better. I know that God removed me from that situation, and I’m thankful. That was no way to live. God wants us to live life more abundantly.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Jesus my #1 love

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Im happy that i found out my bf cheated on me……… let me explain I had a brief relationship with a young man from church we dated i really thought he was the one, we talked everyday shared many things together we loved each other. one day he said he was going on a trip for three days, for some reason i felt somewhat uncomfortable with it but nonetheless he still went. The day he came back he didnt call me he returned from his trip, I called him and he sounded strange, not loving as before. The next day he said he was going through a rough time and didnt want to talk with anybody, confused i respected his decision i didnt texted or called him. I found out later that he met someone else on his trip and that they had a long distance relationship. When i found out about his cheating i felt angry hatred yup i felt everything i even wanted to smash his car but then i realized what am i doing? these feelings go againts my beliefs. Im goinng to compromise my christianity and values for someone that did me wrong and was not for me?? at that point i got to my knees and asked God to mend my broken heart and asked for forgiveness and to forgive him too. Up to this day the only thing i feel is happiness and gratefulness i thank God every moment i can for opening my eyes, i know finding out that you have been cheated is very sad and hard but just think for a moment, couldnt it be that it was Gods will for you to find out to make you realize that that person is “not the one”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        my prayer goes out to all of you and hope you guys find a way to forgive 🙂 and find your true love but keep in mind that God is our only Real true love

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        • Shehariah

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          where do i begin…………we started off bein friends and eventually we got together….after a while he said lets just be friends……i find it was oddd so i kept pressuring him as to why he would say that.he then blurted out that he has a girl friend……i am cryin so much i can’t stop i can’t even go to work……i saw this site n i stopped crying……………but what should i do???

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          • nikki

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            i was with my boyfriend four years, i thought everything was perfect . i love him so much . we were planning to get married this march on our 5th year aniversary .i took a trip to california to visit my family becuause i moved to new york with him . while i was visiting he ended up cheating on me .. he said we would be able to work it out that we would be fine an dthat he loved me .. then when i got back to new york he changed his mind he asked me to move back to cali . he is now dating the woman he cheated on me with and honestly it breaks my heart .. this thanksgiving i found out he bought her a ring and she is saying they are engaged . even though he told me they werent i do not belive that .. and it kills me to think he is going to marry her … it hurts to know he is with her and not me.. i gave this guy everything …and i was dumb it was my mistake i never had a realationship with god . so im trying to grow one as i work on my broken heart . i just cant help but ask all the time why did this happen to me i love him so much .

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            • Dayzlyn

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I have been married for 23 yrs and have 2 great children. 10 yrs ago I was building my career and was not able to go with my husband and daughter to his brothers wedding, when he got back he was different. My mother lived with us and she told me that as soon as I was leaving for work he was getting phone calls from a woman; come to find out it was his brothers new wife’s sister, not only was he writting to her but calling, I also found out of another woman; when I confronted him he started crying a begged me for forgiveness, he said it was nothing sexual; I did and as far as I was aware of he was not cheating however 3 yrs ago again I found out about another woman this time a Christian woman in the Church were he was rebuilding; again I was devastated again he begged and cried and told me he would go to counseling as I was the only one for him and he loved me more than anyone else could ever love me. Ok so we went to counseling that last about 3 sections. And he was very loving and caring; until the day after thanksgiving when again I discovered a text message from another woman calling him My Love. Can’t I not see he is not good for me; I loved him so much, took care of him, always supported his career decision putting mine on hold, picked him up when other put him down. My heart hurts so bad I have no idea what to do? I keep saying maybe if he could go back to been the wonderful caring loving person that I married I would forgive him again. I don’t want to feel like these anymore I want to be healthy and happy. I know I am a good woman. I just don’t understand why?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              • paul

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I really like this post, it makes me remember how I once dealt with a broken heart from an old girlfriend that really hurt me.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                It is always painful but I have found that along with all the fantastic points already mentioned in this article about getting over a broken heart, time is also a very good healer.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                A pain is most painful when it is fresh but with time the pain subsides and becomes barerable.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                So give yourself time to heal and deal with what has happened. Dont jump into another relationship on the rebound!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                • Theresa

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I can’t help but read your comments on broken hearts and can relate to alot of what you say. I had mine broken now 4 years ago and have yet to find “love” again. I lived with this guy and like many of you gave so much of myself to him and his family. After about a year he told me it wasn’t working out but I would not let the break up occur. It took four attempts of his trying to break it off before I finally gave up which meant I had to move out. I had just sold my condominium about 4 months prior; he eventually had one or two steady girlfriends. I kept in touch with his grandmother who had befriended me so I always knew what was going on in his life. He has “now” gotten engaged and plans to be married next year. Mind you this guy was in a bad marriage and bad divorce and VOWED he would NEVER marry anyone ever again. It hurts so much I can’t even be friends with his grandmother because he’ll always come up in conversations plus she lives in his house. Like many of you what hurts the most is that I let this man, mistreat me, disrespect me, and compromised in the relationship which was probably more damaging than anything else emotionally. Wish I had gotten out and not made a fool of myself by “holding on” as long as I did. My hope and prayer is that I can forever get this man out of my mind and move on. I really long for a loving relationship. I’m very lonely and feel stuck in my life. I have few friends and my parents are deceased. Would appreciate anyone’s prayers and it feels good just “getting this out” even though it’s been so many years. Why can’t I just “get on”? I thought I had. His engagements was just another blow and it still hurts. Thanks to anyone who listened to my story!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  • Samantha

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Gosh where do I start…. I have been married almost 6yrs. 6months ago I found out I was pregnant with my 3rd child. I would of been happier if I hadnt found out the week before my husband was having an affair. I took him back and he got saved. Everything was good for about a month then he started acting distant and I found out he was talking to this girl again. He ended it with her again and he felt relieved we did good for about another month. Then over a month ago he was really distant and he quit wanting to go to church with me. So I told him I had had enough. And thats all he wanted was for me to say ur free to go. He moved out and started having an affair with this girl. Now he has an appartment and seems very happy! But I am miserable. He is all I think about! I have had every set of emotions u can have. Ive begged, pleaded, been angry, been the perfect wife. Every thing those great books say to do. And nothing worked. I can not get a divorce until I have this baby. And my biggest fear is he will hand me divorce papers right after I deliver our baby. I wish I would of read James Dobson tough love in the beginning. Then things might be diffrent. I pray that God would forgive me for putting all my focus on my husband and not on Him. But I feel that I am failing God bc I cant quit obsessing about my husband.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    • Debora

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Hello…

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I..am 22 years, and I’m Christian, and I have always been since I’ve been born, because of my parents. I used to go to church when i was younger but with the pass of the years I distance myself a little bit form God, for no particular reason and without realizing. When i was 19 I moved to Spain with some family and then to England with my sister, to learn English and live in a different place. Just before moving to London, I had met an English guy, who I always though and think is a very good person. We fell in love so much and he would do anything for me. I went thru some very difficult times at the beginning of the relationship because my English wasn’t good and I couldn’t find a job and i had no money. But this guy was there for me, always supporting me and worrying of me going away. Finally i got a job and I stayed, and we got on together. Just like an Angel. After a year, we moved together but we started to have problems, he still loved me a lot and i did too but the living together wasn’t working and he wanted a bit more space, and asked me several times but i never wanted to agree and give him the space. After another year we went on a long holiday, and then we moved together again, but the problems started, and i became more irrational and things got worse, he asked me to help out relationship and move out for some time to give us space and i didn’t want to understand it, and we had lots of arguments combined by the fact i felt alone with no friends or family near. I know he has trying to help and save the relationship because we wanted to be with me and loved me but i never wanted to help,after a few months, in september october 2009 he told me he wanted us to take a break and live in separate places that he was very hurt and felt that he didn’t feel the same for me anymore after all this problems but that he still loved me. I was devastated and asked him for another chance to change and said i iwll move out to help things. But by that time he had already started to chat online to someone, who he met once for firts time in october. But by that time we were not offcially together anymore. After that he told me he was confuse with this other person. I moved out of the house on november, thats when he said he missed me a lot and wanted to try hard to fix things with me, but being more relaxed. It seemd ok at the beginning i was trying to make a effort but i still got really jaelos each time i saw him chatting to her and sendint text etc, but he keep saying that she was just a friend and t otrust him. I did trust him and i though it was just me being paranoid, then 3 weeks of that, and then amost a week ago i discovered he was gonna meet her again and this time for 5 days, while he lied to me and said he was going to see a friend in london and had taken time off for that. Why would he now tell me the truth> why not say he didn’t want to be with me anymore??I discovered it just the day before he went away but Idid not tell him anything becasue i had looked thru his stuff and found out. Now after a week he has still not said anything to me about that, but i did tell him i wanted us to be separated for some time because he has things to resolve. I know he is sad about that and he keeps saying that he loves me but he doesnt know if he can be with me because of all the problems, and that he has some feelings for someone else as well. Obviously now i feel devastated and heartbroken and i dont know what to do. He says he’s not ready to let me go and he will miss me and that he doesn’t want me to go away to another country but i’m just to broken and i love him with all my heart and i want to be with him, but also it really hurts me what he did, and i know i can’t keep this inside me for much longer but i also don’t wanna loose him. I also know i have hurted him with my attitude and didnt want to give him any understandin in the past, and now i just came to realize it all, when it all seems too late.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      And i also don’t know why would he go with someone else that lives in another country and he mainly chats online to her, and just see every so often? How could he feel something?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I just cant understand it, my heart is so broken we had so many dreams together and it all seems to drift apart, specially now when this person appeared.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I only want for God to bring him back to me and his love for me again. I just want to be happy with him, he felt so right for me. although we had problems…I don’t know what to do please help 🙁 i need him back. I know I have done things wrong and distanced myself from God, but I also know that before meeting I prayed so much God to please give me someone who loved me and that I could love very much and be with, and then he appeared, I just felt so right and good, and when I started dating him i just said to God, thanks for making him and I be together and I will put it all in Your hand Lord, in the name of Jesus, because I know I can trust on him and he never fails to his word. and that’s what happened, things went so well after that that, is was like a dream, that I’m so broken by the ways this ended.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Just please help 🙁

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Letty

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I have just read many of your posts, Theresa’s letter above inspired me, and I find a lot of my stories in yours. I too feel ‘too old’ to start over. I recently lost my mother -only immediate remaining family member – and therefore lost the only true person who loved me. The day before we lost her brother and a week later we lost my cousin. Work has been hard and now after 16 years I have been laid off as of Dec. 16. The car is broken and mom’s house sale fell through and now it needs repairs I can’t afford. The man I was dating for the last 5 or so years has cheated on me several times, boldly and brazenly. He would leave me a voice mail on his way to work daily but one day it was very early. Come to find out he went to the airport and flew to Phoenix to spend a sex weekend with his ex-wife. I had heard him tell someone he loved them on the phone but assumed it was one of his children. Another time I had asked him to take me on a weekend trip for my birthday. He said he could not afford it. That weekend he said he needed to go away alone and ‘think’. I respected it. He took another woman to a posh hotel where I’d asked him to take me. Another time, he and I had booked a suite with my cousin and his daughter for a bowling convention. At the last minute he humiliated me at the bowling alley in front of everyone and took another woman. There are tons more stories. And one he spent a lot on flowers for all for ‘small’ just because stuff. I have yet to receive any. He’d get her birthday cards and things but not for me. I dont’ understand why I don’t deserve the same things. Each time I took him back. This last time we talked a lot and I laid out the rules. His friends were telling me how sorry he was and how depressed he was over losing me. I took him back one last time. Upon my mother’s illness and passing he was by my side and I could not have asked for a better man. That was March – September. he even took me on a beach vacation to help relax me. Lately he’s been different to me, getting home later and later, and sneaking around with his cell, I’ve noticed other things too. I have that ‘sixth sense’ and am most always correct. One night he said he was at his mother’s visiting his grandson, I drove there he was not there. I called said he was out talking to a friend. Come to find out he was on the phone 58 minutes to another man’s wife. I confronted him, he moved out. We have been timidly going out some and he took me to his Christmas party last night introducing me to all his co-workers and bosses. he dropped me off at home at 9pm said he was going home to his parent’s house as he had lots to do there for them and wanted to turn in early. Instead he drove two hours away and stayed in a hotel, not sure if alone or not. Simply put – he lied to me. We blew up at each other and are now broken up. I think he is simply mad he got caught. This is the last thing I needed here at Christmas when I have no one else. I am lonely and devastated. I have routinely asked God what have I done to deserve all this hurt and loss, whilst being ignored. It seems as though he kicks me just as I am about to get up again. Is there really an end to the pain? I have been betrayed by everyone I have been with, this time I thought it would be right for us. At a time when I need someone the most, God has taken yet my only other support from me. Why? People tell me God does these things to bring his children closer but it’s having the opposite affect on me. Any suggestions?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        • Robert

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Hey there…

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I read the comments by Theresa and Letty above and relate very much to the endless pains of going through the whole ordeal of a breakup…feeling it coming on prior and finally the devastation and realization that it is over. I was with my girlfriend for 3.5 years and at one point we moved in together briefly but issues within the house (her son’s girlfriend created a lot of problems) had me feeling it best to leave. Here is where the sadness started kicking in.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          We still saw each other always and I spent a great deal of time at her place and she with me. When I said I “felt the break coming” prior to it happening was something you could almost taste. The romantic times and even conversations between us were not the same and the ‘silence’ was deafening. That was so not us but what she told me was very hard to understand and even now I am crushed from missing her…still trying to understand. She was divorced twice (once when she was very young) before and had always said that she would not marry again. She suddenly told me, with little explanation, that we needed to end our relationship. Trust me…there was little said and it hit me hard then and still does now as Christmas nears. We have been broken up now since mid-September and it hurts like it was yesterday. Here is what she finally said moved her to it.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          She explained that as a saved Christian, she had felt herself slipping away over the past few years in her relationship with God. Basically she added that since she had vowed to never marry again, us living as one and sharing the same bed was sacriligious and against His ways. Because there was no marriage, sex out of wedlock was something she could not do anymore. I KNOW she was telling me the truth and that there was nobody else. In a fairly recent email she explained that she had been very troubled and had placed all her pains and stressors in God’s hands. I am a Catholic from the northeast and have done a lot of reading since on the bible, as well as very spiritual passages. I DO understand all that she has spoken of and yet I am as heart broken and lost without her as I was in September. I truly said I would do anything and be with her in any way that we had to so that we could perhaps walk down that same path. I read your thoughts here ladies and beg for your words. She said that it was largely her issues and nothing I could do would change anything. Her intent is to walk the path that God wishes her to and in no other way. I am truly lost and need some help. Robert

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          • Brenda

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I love you, I am so sorry about that pain. It is so horrible to feel that kind of devaluation, but PLEASE KNOW: it is NOT you, it is him.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Get out of it, don’t go back. If he was a Christian, is this a Christian site? He would love you because of the love of Christ.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            If you are a believer, don’t date or be in a relationship with an unbeliever. At least there is hope in a christian (in theory) although I’ve had my heart broken as well.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Dealing with one right now, but I would say this: better to not know, then to go through the torture of catching him all the time.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Life is short and there are so many lonely people out there, single is a freak show

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            that is my opinion.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            • Kathy Amick

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              My husband just divorced me and ran me out of the house 3 weeks ago, my son did not want to come with me, he is 13, both my husband and are are on unemployment, but he owns the mobile home, we were divorced and remarried 3 times, I kept going back and each time he took more and more away from me. Now he has everything, and he is dating already, after only 3 weeks, I was overweight, well still am, I quit smokeing, We did not have sex very much either when I put on weight, he kept making comments about my weight, so I became insecure and did not like to be undressed around him. I am so hurt. I have gone through this 3 times with him. He said he will never take me back again. And after 3 times of him kicking me out and taking everything, I know I will never go back to him. I lay in bed at my friends house and go over things in my head of my failures to be a good wife, because I was depressed, and a little voice says , you dont deserve to be his wife because you took him for granted and did not take care of yourself or him in bed. It is hard to live with myself now, I know it is my fault. Please help me feel better.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              • Lynda

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Wow… so many people with broken hearts. I pray God will find ways to help us all heal. I pray for freedom from thoughts of my lost love… it’s been a month and a half and I still think about him constantly. I try not to. I want to let go. I need to let go. I don’t know how or what to do. It still hurts so much and I miss him. Please Lord, see me and all these people through this pain. I beg you, Lord… give us freedom from this hurting. Please stop the tears. Please stop the thoughts. Please move me forward. Please give me these gifts of healing… and please give them to all these people with broken hearts. Please set us free.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                • kerriann

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  reading everyone comment makes me wonder if i’ll ever get over my ex. we been together for almost 2 yrs and after findin out that i was pregant he decided that we had nothing in common. right now am pregant, heartbroken, stressed and shocked dat he would treat me likr dis after all we been through. i know he doesn’t love me but everytime we speak he clams how much he loves his child but i wonder if he loves d baby way he he stressing out the person carrying it. i really need help and pray for me and my baby bevause i dnot want to have a miscarriage because of d stress and i also dnot want anything to happen to neither of us. pls remember me in ya’ll prays and may god bless each one of u

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  • Dorthy Miller

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Robert,

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I too had a relationship with someone with deep rooted Christianity. I was not a believer but respected and yearned to learn with and from him through religion. We were both seperated and it happened unexpectedly. It was a whirlwind romance that went from infatuation to the discussion of marriage within a few short weeks. He talked about how proud he would have me as his wife someday. I could see my life with him so clearly and in everything he did and said I know at the time he felt the same. We made plans, we spent time with eachothers children. He told me that he never knew he could be so happy, and when he would tell me he loved me and needed me I could hear it in his voice. Then one day the pastor from the church where he and his estranged wife used to attend contacted him. Everything changed. He withdrew in every way. He said it was impossible to see our life as being “right” under God. Within days he came back to me saying he couldn’t see his life without me. He said he considered us being celebet until marriage but also couldn’t see himself not wanting to be intimate with me so he was struggling with that. I understood and vowed to be patient while he delt with his struggle. Within another week he decided he needed to obey God by returning to his wife and ask for forgivness. Through being rightous under God he would be able to find fulfillment and happiness with his wife. All fo this pained me greatly, I have never felt so lost, lonely, or sad in my entire life. How could it be in a matter of days that his entire attitude towards me changed. I started to read what the bible had to say about adultery (because eventhough he was seperated, he was still married) and divorce. I still struggle with sadness and I honestly keep myself open for him needlessly because I know he will never return, but I haven’t been able to completely let go. But in my thirst for understanding and knowledge I have come closer to having a relationship with God myself. It’s a catch 22 I think, I’m angry about his strong religious convictions because they took him away from me, yet I have gained some peace. I know if he didn’t follow God’s word so closely then we would still be together, but I can’t dwell on that, but it does make me warry of becoming involved with another strong Christian again, especially one who’s previously been married!!!! My advice is to gain knowledge through seeking Christ yourself and you will gain some comfort and releif from your sadness.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    • Robert

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Dorthy and Lynda… I thank you both for your kind words and the manner in which you both touched chords within me. Dorthy..interesting when you spoke of the ‘Catch22’ because I carry that anger as well in that my ex’s sudden departure on every level left me feeling worthless, empty, and with a total loss of my self esteem. I realize what this site is and true Dorthy that over time, I too have garnered peace and understanding of where she came from and how many years of her ignoring God’s word caused a mini explosion inside of her. Whether in a Christian-based relationship or not, you have to agree that the person dumped and left behind is hit with shrapnel and pain that is clearly not felt as much on the other end. We shared a three year relationship together with a good part of it living under the same roof and people who saw us out KNEW we were a nice couple. Doing simple things together was care free and comfortable. She had a bad auto accident and required neck surgery and I was always there. Her son and his demon girlfriend (true story) turned the house upside down sometimes and I was always there to be patient and lend an ear. I constantly did all the little things…flowers, cards, notes tucked into her bag or laid on the bed to let her know how much I loved her. Yet as much as I understand more about the Christian way of life and all that it entails, I am the one after three months now who remains devastated and broken hearted. She recently dropped a note when I told her how much I was struggling and said that she didn’t think she could ever again be in an intimate relationship unless God leads her down that path and it is right under his eyes. She also said, and I suppose this is true as well, that if the two of us were ever to get together again in any way, shape or form, it would happen naturally and under His direction. Again, I understand what she means and all that her beliefs entail but to have been hit so hard and so swiftly and lose her love and all of our communications in one fail swoop, the pain for me has been unbearable at times. Lynda, I do believe in what you said as well as you said… “I beg you, Lord… give us freedom from this hurting. Please stop the tears. Please stop the thoughts. Please move me forward. Please give me these gifts of healing… and please give them to all these people with broken hearts. Please set us free.” My ex g/f (even pained to say that) is beautiful inside and out and I like to believe I am a handsome, athletic, confident man and I want to believe that in time this awful pain will pass. I came across a couple of quotes that are so true… One is, “The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected.” ~Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook. The other that speaks to losing love and taking a perspective from Christianity I suppose was this… “God can heal a broken heart, but He has to have all the pieces.” ~Author Unknown. He has to have all the pieces. Quite honestly I have cried at night and in the morning because I truly am not even sure anymore if my heart will ever feel complete again. Thanks for all of your warm words. You all sound like amazing people. Robert

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Faith

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        getting myself broken-hearted over and over again is cruel to my well-being as well as for my self-esteem. I’ve tried to find love, and every time, it ended up that the other person would just wants me as their friend…it hurts when you have truly love the person and all they want is friendship….i can handle friendship with them but to see them happy with the other person….i’d rather not see it, i’d rather not get close to any one of them….i know that i’m supposed to be happy for them….but i just can’t at this moment…i can’t…i’m considering giving up hope in finding soulmates…i know there is one, but i just can’t go through all the drama of fixing and picking up pieces of my heart everytime the relationship couldn’t work out.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        • Evon

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I am so broken-hearted. Within 3 months, I had a miscarriage (this would have been my first child), filed for divorce only after 10 months of marriage, and I lost my grandmother, whom I was very close with.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I married a “Judas.” His lies and secrets caught up with him, his heart was revealed to me, my eyes were opened, and he left. I cannot thank the LORD for protecting me, 1 Cor 7:15, but I am trying to get back to normal, and it is so difficult when people are still congratuling me on my nuptuals. I am older and this was my only marriage. I have kept my eyes focused on the LORD. I need constant prayer for wisdom, to remain in His word, and for strength because everything is still so fresh. I know my life is not over, but just changed in no way I ever thought possible. Please pray for my healing…I know things are always in His time.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          • Myka

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            um its been a month since me and my ex-boyfriend brokeup i didnt see it comin. we were together for a year and a half. i find it really hard to let him go. i still love and care about him and i miss him like crazy. right now im goin threw so many emotions and i dont kno how to deal im really lost and confused. i prayed about it but eeryday is still hard

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            • daughtrey

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Ladies there’s two sides to a relationship and if you love someone that loves you these things should not happen so when they do ,does it mean one didn’t love the other ?Or is one to bizzy loving thereself?My thing is when GOD put to people together no man or lady can break it apart.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              • Laura

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I too need yours prayers. I got myself into a very complicated relationship with a man that I gave my heart to. There were signs in our relationship from the very beginning that made me feel like I could not completely trust him such as him having women coming over very late to his apartment and him having keys to his estranged wife’s house, and him susposedly going to spend every weekend at his daughter’s home. We both are Christians and we studied the Bible together. He introduced me hiking and other adventerous outings that I never dreamed of doing. He was good to my children. I allowed myself to fall in love with him. I gave all myself to this relationship. He eventually gave up the other women he was seeing and the I learn to accept him leaving every weekend but I could never find real peace in our relationship. 1 month ago he broke it off with me. He told me that because of our Bible studies; him and his wife reconcilled and since then he has become cold toward me. I have tried several times to contact him. He wants nothing to do with me. I am so heartbroken. I’m fasting and praying and asking the Lord to forgive me and to remove the desire of wanting to be with him from my heart. My emotions are seriously out of control. I want to ride by his apartment to see if he has someone else over. I am 44 yrs. old and this man is 49. Only once before have I been hurt this deep is when I was 24. I regret ever getting involved because the signs was there and I delibertly when against my convictions. I knew this day would eventually come but I allowed this to happen to myself which makes it even harder for me to cope with. Please that the Lord will forgive me for my hurting Him. I am so tired of crying and being sad. I have never kept a stable relationship. I have been married 3 times. My first husband was emotionally and physically abusive ( my oldest children witnessed me being beat often). My second husband almost killed me: stabbed me 5 times and my son who was 16 at the time ( he was trying to protect me). Third husband was alcholic and he tried to get back with his exwife. So you see, once again I have failed at a relationship. I keep asking myself what is wrong with me. I feel worse than the woman at the well that Jesus spoke with in the Bible.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                • Helen

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Hi Robert and Dorthy. I am broken hearted too. I recently broke up with my fiancee? boyfriend and I am lost. God has helped and I think it was the best thing in the long-run but I am still devastated after two months.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  • CarpeDiem

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Hey Evon, I really feel for where you are at right now. I identify with what you have been through as there are many similarities to my sad situation too. A friend told me in the midst of my heart break that although it felt then like I would never get over it, I would. She herself was evidence of that. She was right. I am working through the healing process. Decisions that I made which helped me to get through were: Delve into the Word of God (the Psalms and Proverbs really came alive and God ministered to me powerfully through them), to confide in true close christian friends who could comfort me and give me wise advice (not just want gossip or had loose lips), seek the regular help of a professional christian therapist, and allow myself to grieve – as long as it took. There is no rulebook. Sometimes we do wonder where God is in all this – but He is surely there. It is like the poem ‘Footprints in the Sand’ – its just that we don’t realize this until a lot later. You are suffering now with many levels of loss, but you would have suffered more were you in the relationship longer. God knows your shattered dreams and the desires of your heart. Let Him comfort and restore you. Praying for you!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    • Phillip Renda

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I am heartbroken for the first time in my life (I’m sure that’s a Blessing in itself). I dated a young lady for 9 years. We planned to get married. I guess I should add that this was a “may-december” relationship. She was 20 when we started dating (she was in college), I was 50. And while many of my friends oftened thought it was strictly a physical ego thing on my part I knew as did she that we were deeply in Love. I know it was not for my money as is the case in many situatons like this because she knew I was far from wealthy. We had many things in common. She never gave me a clue it was about to be over. But, she said she needed to be on her own. Even the night before she told me how much she loved me and couldn’t live without me. I treated her like a queen and she always good to me. I still hurt and search for reasons why ( she was diagnosed as bi-polar months before the breakup). I know she is not dating anyone (it’s been 7 months) and I still keep hoping and hurting. She has texted me 3 or 4 times showing concern for me. When the weather got real cold she wanted me to promise her I would stay warm and be safe. I think she still cares, but maybe God has other plans for us. I miss her very much. But I trust God has a reason. Maybe it will work out one day. I pray daily that it will and at times I feel God is giving me a sign that it will. I just need to be patient. Please pray for me (us). God Bless.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Sumaria

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I dont know how to begin. I m so broken hearted. I dated this man for almost 11years. and i feel that i invested so many years of my life for nothing. out of the 11 years that we were together he has another woman for 10 years. unitl this dated he is still with her and still want to continue seeing me. Im not sure if i love him anymore but is so hard to break up with him. im only 34yrs and i feel that i have wasted so many years of my life. I feel so lonely. why i can not be happy. why i can not find hapiness. the sad thing is that he tell me that what we have will get to no where but why is so hard for me to move on.. i need help serious help. this relationship is killing me inside, it get me depressed from one min to the other. Please God help me. I dont pray i dont know how to……my heart is broken into pieces….

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        • marvin

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I listened to what someone said about my girlfriend and now she broke up with me and said she will make me regret what i did tried my best to work out with her ask for forgiveness pray even at times lash out at the heavens for my mess and idk how to fix it or move on atm cause of all the pain. Its so hard to let go started praying again it helps for awhile and then more pain comes each time i think about it and its hard not trying to think about it. can anyone give me some advice and tips.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          • Letty

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I just wanted to share a happy story to the mix. I posted earlier of my situation, and it got worse, however prayer does work. I have often prayed that that the truth will come out to everyone, to my ex BF, as well as to his friends and family he badmouthed me to, as it bothered me what they might think of me. I also asked that in the process of all that truth revealing that some good might come of it all and that my ex BF be blessed with a conscience, some remorse and regret and thereby hopefully effecting a change within him. God picked up my cross and fought my battle for me. The ex BF came to my home, apologized to me in tears, said that he FINALLY understood what all he has put me through, mental abuse and the hurt from cheating and all that.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            • Chinua Dean

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Hello All, I just turned 40 and got dumped by my Girl Friend of 9yrs. it hurts but I guess its better than being an extra wallet for her. I really loved her,but being short, fat and ugly I shouldn’t be shocked. I really thought she saw me differently but I guess I was wrong. I have been in relationships before, I have even been married, and it all ends the same way. first Family rejects me then friends and eventually the woman. it doesn’t seem to matter what I do or how hard I try. I have been a reject all my life, but i am glad God has given me many of his angels to help. I hoped that this time a meant a real woman, a Strong woman who could love me. I just ended up getting suckered again. My love was not wanted but at least my wallet was accepted. I am tired. I thank the Lord I still have my health, my Job, a home and food to eat,but I have come to the understanding that love is about value and like many of God’s children I have very little here on earth. the worlds love is about meeting certain requirements and conditions that I just don’t meet. love is about pride and I am nothing to be proud of.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I know that God loves me greatly and although I never was welcome by any family including my own. I know that he welcomes me in his. I am sorry to all I just needed to vent. I know that I am blessed with my job, and home, food, clothing, but I lack the hottest and rarest commodity known to man, that is Love. I guess as long as we judge a book by it’s cover man kind will always drop the ball when it come to love. Again I am not perfect but I am tired of getting my heart stomped, stabbed and walked on.I have lots of love to give,but as long as it’s coming from this ugly package it’s not wanted. thank you for reading, but the next time you catch yourself loving someone ask yourself why if they got fat, lost all their money, or their looks faded would you still love them? God bless you and never give up hope because Jesus never gives up on us.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              • Nick

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                To everyone out there that’s confused and has felt heartbroken, first you all must know that God knew that this would happen, and that even though our natural response as humans is to point the finger and blame everyone else involved, including God you have to also understand that we have a part to play in this as well I fell in love at he young age of 15 and have been syllabut ever since, find you refuge in God not in your self because when we do things on our own we will fail and also study Gods word because the things we think we know so well are often the things that we do ourselves. For example when I was 15 I dated a non Christian was cheated on several times And I refused to let her go and I had the walls torn down on everyone involved. Throw all of that together and what do we have a re enactment of sampson. So pray, study, and let God be your strength. Give him the relationship he deserves, and he will help and love you in ways you’ve never known possible

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                • Mona H

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I been trying to hang on to a relationship that causes me to stumble for a year and The Lord has finally showed me what I needed to see this mans heart. His heart has no room for me let alone God. He is a marine and I understood how hard it would be and still had faith we would work. The closer I got to the word the more we argued. It’s very painful but I am more faithful to my Jesus for being faithful to me even when I was not. I been used and lied to that’s very hard to take when you give your all. However the promises of the Lord still give me hope and desire to know him even more. In all times praise him.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  • farie

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    it is so painful to hear that people are hurting. when you look at God’s plan for marriage and what we go through, there is a tendency of wanting to give up. l want to encourage people to be ask God to help them to forgive. The moment we forgive our spouses and our exs and begin to pray for them we find that it is a whole lot easier to heal. please evryone one let us know we remain precious in God’s eyes nomatter what we go through

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    • torrey

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Hi , i was with my girlfriend for 9 months. The first 3 months were ok, then one day i stopped by her house and she said she wanted to break up! We talked and worked things out! 3 more months had passed, we were exchanging “I love yous” and going out and doing all sorts of things! I was jealous a few times because i didnt understand her outgoing personality and she tried to break up with me agian. I was insecure and a bit jealous but not to the point that i was timing her at the store or accusing her all the time! Honestly, i didnt trust her and thats probably becasue of past relationships but i gave her the benefit of the doubt! A day after the break up she came to my house crying saying she loved me and didnt mean the horrible things she had said to me during the breakup! We worked it out and kept moving. I thought we were past the bad times until 2 weeks ago when she tried to leave me again! This time she got very nasty and said very hurtfull things, so i got very angry and said alot of mean things to her! Once again we worked it out until yesterday! She sent me a text saying we should end the relationship, it wasnt working for her! I dont feel as much pain as i did the other times she broke up with me, i geuss i knew it was coming, I dont know how much more disaapointment i can take in a lifetime.We both had tons of dissappointment from previous relationships that seem to keep us at a standstill! I wanted us to heal togehter and make it work but she wants out! Im am hurt and feel so rejected. I pleaded with her in the past to hold on but i feel like im making a fool out of myself! Im not pleading with her this time, im trying to let her go! I never cheated on her and was loyal but we both made a few mistakes, i admitt that and apologized to her for it! She was so moody and sent mixed messages! She drug my heart thru the mud! My heart was broken when i met her, and she brokr what little i had left! Somebody help me stop the bleeding! Im a good guy, my past is killing me!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Dennis

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        My 1st girlfriend (of 16 months) broke up with me on Valentine’s Day through a text message. We had quite a few fights but most of them were centered around God. She is part of a very radical and judgmental church that condemns and tells people they are going to hell. I never agreed with that mentality. I always have believed that God loves us and is never angry with us, he is just disappointed.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        But during the relationship, we messed up and had sex. She became very attached to me as I was already very attached to her. We prayed on the phone every night and we had already picked out kids names and honeymoon spots and everything.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        On Valentine’s Day she was at Mardi Gras with her church street preaching. She said that she truly repented when she was there and that God told her I wasn’t meant for her and that dating is wrong.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Then she posted a testimony that basically said that I was the main reason she was “going through the motions”. It hurts so much because I tried so hard during the relationship to show her true love. No I wasn’t perfect, but I did my best! I was faithful and never once tried to leave her, which I can’t say the same about her.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        But through all of this, I still love her so much. I miss my best friend and all our memories. But whenever I try to talk to her she either ignores me or tells me I need Jesus. I pray for her, that she will figure out how God really wants us to live, but it seems so unlikely that she’s gonna realize it. She’s grown up in this lifestyle and her parents don’t really give her much freedom. I always felt like they didn’t like me because I wouldn’t join the church and was very against it. But we always worked things out, I love her so much. What do I do? Valentine’s Day was over a month ago and last Valentine’s Day was the last time we had sex (I promised her we wouldn’t again until we were married and we didn’t, it was up to a year exactly), but the fact that it’s been a month and half and things are getting worse is maddening.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Plus, I can’t stop texting her and she said she was gonna get a restraining order. I’m not threatening her or anything, normally I just tell her I love her or I remember a memory so I tell her. But today I found out some things in her past that may or may not be true sexually and it hurts me so much. She denied it, and she was offended that I believed it…but how am I suppose to trust she isn’t lying? Everything she ever said to me was a lie 🙁

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        • Rachael

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I am currently dealing with the most difficult break up of my life and feeling very terrible about the situation and myself. I was with my boyfriend for almost two years. When we first started hanging out I wasn’t interested and told my self to take a chance and for once go for the “nice guy” Boy has that really come back to bite me. He has cheated on my three times and slept with his ex girlfriend. I tried to do the right thing and forgive him because i believed in my heart that he really wasnt that person. I used to think that god brought him into my life for a reason but now I’m just so hurt because we have been going through this on and off crap for over a year. It really makes me feel like something is wrong with me and I am not good enough. Its even worse because he comes from a successful family and i come for nothing. I have had such a hard life and just feel like i can never get a break. I need prayer badly. I need to stop hurting and stop letting him do this to me. Please help 🙁

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          • Sharon

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I am a forty year old mother of 5 children.. four at home.. who is going through separation of a 19 year marriage.. I believed and prayed for my husband for many many years.. we have had troubles all the way through but I stuck at it.. Now he has gone and it is devastating to say the least.. I am slowly healing.. very slowly but so much want to have hope for my future.. I thought and prayed it would be with the one man.. I can see now that I am losing myself by trying to hold on to someone who does not want me… I just pray for the future that GOD has for me.. I have dreamed of a happy relationship for a long time.. Perhaps one day that will happen.. just need to let go of the past and heal..

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            • heather

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              hello. 🙂 i’ve been praying here lately. i seek for comfort of a lost relationship in Jesus Christ, and i feel his warm presence with me. I feel like i complain too much about how i love him,and i wish the best for him in life. am i going about this the wrong way? should i focus more on asking God to help me forget about the guy i dated. and to heal my broken heart? or, should i pray to remember my ex, and to keep him dear to my heart, no matter how cold he is..maybe even pray that he’d have a better life? i’m asking this because i know we’re supposed to love everyone equal, no matter if they are brash towards us.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              • D

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                My girlfriend of 10 years began cheating on me with another woman last year, yet continued to tell me she wanted me in her life. Then skip ahed to this year, she married her girlfriend in March, and it has been the most devastating pain I have ever experienced, nothing has ever compared. What makes it so much harder is she keeps telling me she loves me and always will and doesn’t want me to disappear and needs me in her life, and misses me, etc. I’ve asked her to stop saying that, because it kills me, just kills me. She begs me not to move away, but I told her I can’t be friends, it’s too much for me to take to know she chose someone else over me after loving her so passionately, and I still do love her. I feel shame for yelling at her when I found this out, and I don’t want bad things to happen to her. This whole thing is a big secret because she doesn’t want her family to know and she says she isn’t gay & doesn’t know what’s going on with her. I just know how much it hurts me.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                • iksheeta

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  im pretty much going through the same thing as heather (the previous comment) – i was with my x for 5-6 months. we were really really close. we broke up coz apparently he got bored of me. 2 weeks later , he is dating another girl. And i remember, he told me that he was ‘anything but insensitive’. what happend?! then a month later he comes back – i forgive him and accept him. 2 days later he goes back to his x!!!!!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  i have been praying soo hard for them to break up :(. i know deep inside it is wrong. but what about all the pain he gave me? he is really really really happy with his gf right now and he doesnt even care if i exist or not. we do not talk at all. he hates me – just because he has another girl. What should i do ? pleaseee help! i have been praying to God – but the more i pray to God – the more i see my ex and his gf getting closer and better :(. it really really hurts me.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  • paula yox

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    im so broken hearted my husband left me about 2 and a half weeks ago i love him with all my heart and soul if he would just call me and talk about it with me maybe we can work this out

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    • Maria

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      My boyfriend (of 4yrs) and I seemed to have a great relationship.. We had a lovely condo together, 2 new cars everything seem to be going great… Until he started cheating on me… I forgave him everytime…. Recently we”ve been having alot of arguements so he moved back with his parents… He was suppose to spend the weekend with me but instead I get a long facebook message stating why he didnt come, how he’s dating someone else, and how he’s changing his phone number so I cant call him anymore… At the end of this message he had a nerve to say “I love you’…. I sent him a message back waited a few minutes to see if I would get another respond and can you believe he blocked me on facebook. I can’t tell you how bad my heart is hurting.. I was bery close to this dude, he’s the only person in this world i told all my deepest thoughts and secrets to… Now he act as if I was never anything to him…. I pray to God and try reading scriptures to help me through this but the pain just seems to be so much…. I realize the relationship is over i just dont know how to move on…

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Sephora

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        There was this boy whom i had a crush on since 7th grade.I iused to like him so much that i write him love letters and everything. Then during the summer before 8th grade i decided to forget about him, it wasnt ment to be. But then when we got back to school in 8th grade he started liking me so i liked him back, he got me hooked. So now i guess he’s been playing this game with me and to make a long story short. He broke my heart numerouse numbers of times and it even got to the point where in eleven grade he made this rumor up about me and spread it around school. So now he’s in a new relationship and i don’t know what to do. Yet God has revealed to me he isn’t the one…What to do.?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        • Anonymous

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I dated this guy for 3-4 months. For the most part everything was great. He and I were happy together, or at least I thought so. One day we got into a huge argument. It resulted in him telling me to lose his number and to never contact him again. He told me that he had “lowered” his standards by talking to me, and I wasn’t even his type. He admitted he had also been seeing other girls while dating me, and was simply passing time with me. I am devastated as this is a recent event. I will not say I was completely innocent when arguing with him because I said some things I shouldn’t have. However, the things he said to me were much meaner. During our time dating I have always been fair, honest, and kind to him. He told me a couple of times that he wanted to be with me. Later, in the argument we had he said it was simply a lie he told me. I’m crying as I write this, because never in my life has someone hurt me like this. I need to put my faith back into God and not man.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          • Blake

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            My girlfriend and I just broke up. It was mutual but not because we lost feelings or love for each other. A few months back she moved temporarily to another state. This was only supposed to be a month but she got a full time job offer for a career that she is passionate about and she took it. I myself am very passionate about what I do for a living and I understood why she took it. I am very proud of her but ultimately our lives are too crazy right now to be together. Plus, the 1,000 mile distance doesn’t make it any easier. She is supposed to return to where I am in a year, being that her job position was only offered for that amount of time. My only hope is that when she returns, God will see fit to reunite us. We are great together when we are both in the same state and can actually see each other often. I have no idea why this had to happen or what God is doing in my life or hers but I’ve got to trust Him. It’s the hardest thing a Christian can do. I love her very much and it is really breaking my heart right now to be without her in my life. If anyone out there cares, please pray for me and her. Thanks and God bless!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            • Ginny

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Well I had been dating my ex who is my best friend for two years when we broke up. I started dating another guy but it wasn’t the same because I wasn’t able to talk to him about the things I was able to talk to my ex about. When the other guy broke up with me, my best friend was there for me 100%. He talked to him and tried to get him to change his mind because he knew I really liked him. And me and h
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              my best friend just started getting back together and then he got totally changed by God and don’t get me wrong, I’m so happy for him and I think it’s so great but he decided he wants to be a missionary and go to college out of state and then go to jamaca. And I know I should be happy for him because he is my best friend but it’s so hard because I still want to be with him so so much but at the same time I don’t want to put myself through so much pain by waiting for him. He still wants to be best friends but it’s really hard for me to be friends with him while I try to get over him because he is so great and I could never stop loving him. I’m just confused and I pray and ask God for guidance but I never hear him. I just need some advice.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              • tricia

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                i have been through so much with this one man that I love so much. I have been with him since i was 16 years old and i am now 27. We have been together on and off and i did have other relationships in between but I always went back to him even though he cheated, lied and betrayed me several times in all these years. He has a drug addiction to meth and that has been the core of all the problems all these years. when he is sober we have the best times together but eventually he back slides and I am there to pick up all the pieces again. We started going to church regurlarly together for the past 7 years. We become involved and as soon as God makes a breakthrough with him he falls again. I have backslid twice in all these years because of becoming lonely and seeking support from the wrong people. I prayed while I was living on my own with our daughter before we got back together this last time … he seemed to have made a turn for the better and then a fellow member of our church who is also his boss started taking him out to bars when he himself had a wife and 2 kids at home. i became resentful. I really wanted to get married this year like we planned but the fights began late january and shortly there after I found pictures of other women on his phone. I left him and now he is back on drugs. His brother recently emailed me to let me know that he is worried about him and he IS on drugs again. I am hurt and dont know how to recover. I love my church but i felt like i had to leave because his boss and his boss’ family are members and I didn’t want them to see me going through all this mess. i did blame him for a while but not anymore. I know it was all my ex and influence or not he is a grown man and makes his own choices. I want to go back but I feel ashamed. I feel like a fool to think my ex was going to be diffferent this time around. i don’t know what to do. Were do I go from here?…. my daughter has been what has kept me going … I know God loves me and wants the best for me and maybe he wasn’t it but I feel bondage to this man. I don’t know if I will ever love someone else again. he is my first everything. I want him to sober up and become the man I know he can be. i don’t want to be with him anymore. Im way to scared now to ever try again. i still love him but why? Please pray for me and my situation. I will keep all of you in my prayers…

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                • Ti

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I have been going around with this guy for almost 4 and half years….and i did one mistake of not telling him about my past relationships caz in the beginning for some reason i never had the courage to tell him and when he came to know from someone else he really felt bad about it and he was hurt and broken hearted. I really felt bad too for him and for what i did, i was actually about to tell him, but it just happen a week before that one of his friend told him about me….I kept on saying sorry to him but it was quite difficult for him to accept that. I love him so much and i know i did a mistake….and I know its only God who can show me the way to go ahead caz its difficult to think about life without him.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Please pray for me so I could have the strength to handle this situation.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  • cookie

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    i broke up with my ex almost a year ago…and now he has moved on with one of his best friend. And the best part is that all of us are in the same cell group. I just don’t know how to face them, in cell n church. i know i should forgive n move on myself, but every time i thought i’ve moved on, i will end up crying again. i know my experience may not be so bad…but i think all broken hearts feels the same…painful, no matter how it was broken.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    • Jerry

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Ok so first off, what you guys are doing on this site is absolutely incredible and God bless you all. So i met a girl in 2008 and we started dating in february and i wasn’t a christian but she brought me to church and in july of 08 i accpeted christ as my personal lord and savior. me and my girlfriend got baptized together in august of 08 and all seemed well but we slowly fell into temptation with each other and made a lot of physical mistakes because we weren’t married. We would go a long time being good then wed give in again. this went on for a while til about july of 2009, she thought that i liked another girl and i assured her that i didnt because i didnt but she was really upset and we got in a crazy fight and i prayed to God that if i should stay with her that i would fight for it but if i shoudnt then please tell me cus i cant do this anymore, and as soon as i stopped praying i felt a voice in my head say no.. it freaked me out and i told her and i decided to pray about it for a month. that whole month just wasnt the same. on july 31 09, i was with a few friends and we had a really cool experience where God spoke to us and God led me to a bible verse in Numbers that said for i have told you but you wouldnt listen…. so i decided to be obedient and i broke up with my girlfriend the next day. it has now been about a year since we broke up and i have been off and on at being over her. but i just got home today and all my thoughts about missing her stormed back and i have been fine before now since like may. I am honestly losing hope that i’ll ever be over her. i’ve cried so many times, prayed to God some of my most honest, and brutal prayers, and talked to friends. they’ve all helped and its gotten better ya but its mostly because i just push the pain deep inside. i dont know how to deal with it and i dont know anyone who can help me. I feel that this girl was the one and i left her. i gave up the girl of my dreams and now im paying the price and shes dating someone else. If anyone has anything that they think can help me that would just be beyond amazing. or anyone who has gone through something similar who can just tell me to hold on that it gets better. i need some reassurance

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Evon

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Hey Cookie and Jerry…hang in there.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I don’t have an answer for either one of you, but it has been several months since my situation has passed and I am at peace.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        After the initial shock, and several months of crying, I just had to let go. I was living in the past. God gave us the gift of life, so why waste it?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I have since learned how to forgive, and I don’t know what the future holds, but I had to stop living with the guilt and pain of what I could have done.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Jesus forgives us, so we have to forgive ourselves and remain faithful servants to Him. God is with you both. NEVER LEAVE JESUS.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        • RatherBeAlone

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I dont know whether to call him an ex or a spawn of satan but I fell so deeply in love with him…so much so that I would walk to his house late at night to give him money for work and I wasnt even working. Its hard for me to even write about all the heartless things he has done and what he has put me through. Whats so sad is that he keeps knocking on my door, he keeps calling me and texting me how much he loves me and I keep believeing him because I so desperatley want him to love me. Today I changed my house number and my cell phone number and decided if he ever knock my door again I will call the cops. I am in so much pain that I am running a high fever and have a terrible headache. I cried my self to sleep and have stayed in bed for two days. He has never and will never apologize for all the pain he has caused me and I am afriad to ever love again….because all he did was use the love I have for him against me….I am so sad, and I need help and prayer…I need God to forgive me and help overcome this unbearable pain in my heart….

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          • jennifer

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            i need prayers. please. i can’t imagine He wants to hear about my broken heart. it is entirely my own fault. please someone ask Him to heal me.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            • Tracy Dyer

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Hello dear sisters. I too am healing from a broken heart following a five year marriage that popped on the blink of an eye and left me gasping for air. I’ve started a support group on facebook for alll of us women whom have been shaken to the core by the words ‘I don’t love you any more’ Please feel free to join in, all are welcome. Share, laugh, cry, pray, and be prayed for. You are loved here. Just log onto facebook and search Porcelain Heart or Porcelain Heart Ministry. Also please feel free to read my blog; the story of my journey from grief to growth. http://www.porcelainheartnotes.blogspot.com

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Christ has a purpose for all of us. Share your purpose with me, won’t you? I look forward to seeing you soon, Tracy, Porcelain Heart Ministry.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              • hope

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Hello All,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I don’t know if this correct for me to write here I’ve never have done this but I didn’t know what or how to cope this. I not sure if I’m making myself a fool out of myself writing on the page. It’s hard to explain when someone decide to make a quite after almost seven years. Yes we had our issues but he has an awful angry that I’m don’t know why or to understand it. We had been off again relationship once again that has been unstable since the beginning, which was almost years ago. Even though I only had my heart and eyes for him, I am truly faithful to us and respect our relationship all this long years I know him. He has never moved on and had any other special person in his life. I accepted his life style and his job of being very stressful all I wanted to help him out but he wouldn’t let me. I know his job takes a lot of his time, but I tell him also need to appreciated to people that love him and that he has around him because at the end that all we have, to take every moment of life because as a blink of eyes you can lose it. He walked out on me so many times! We exchange words about why our relationship didn’t work out. But I always need to reach to him since you won’t ever communicated or exchanges much and leave things hanging, undone or finish. But his actions caused me to blow up at times. But what’s heartbreaking about is that he promised me this last time around that you would never walk out on me again and that you would stick by my side and we would get through anything because you wanted to spend the a better happy life with me and you wasn’t willing to lose me again. He let me down and gave up on us. Why feel the need to walk out on me again and not want to fix this. Isn’t fed up? If so, why does keep coming in and out of my life and back for more? Obviously he’s unhappy. Why does he feel you can come and go as you please? I am trying to take an advice to forgive him. I am trying to tell myself that he gave his best and now it’s time to move on. But I can’t seem to do that because I don’t feel like he gave it all his best. I love him dearly … But all of those years together may mean different things to me, than to him probably. The more personal, the more intimate things are, the deeper the pain, the deeper the argument. Relationships with more feeling mean arguments which hurt more. If you understand me, and are in my shoes, you would be in extraordinary pain, but you would also understand that there is hope. Hope is what you make of it, hope is not individual. I do not believe a lot of good from what I describe, but I do believe you should not give up hope. You place your hope in one person, and that one of them should be us. As I look more into it I’ve keep having faith he would change to a better man for me… Having less angry I don’t know why always talk to me on the worst and still I had some faith he will do well, that what my love I had for him. I only did was to love him more and want to share everything with him and I never had enough of us. I thought love is suppose be that way. I admired him and spoke well highly to family and friends and can say proud to say I was involved in a relationship with him. They ask why love this guy? He just a family guy who doesn’t have a lazy bones when it come to hard working. He just makes my heart sing, that I’m happy. We have struggles but we still standing strong.” But this all worthless to him now… His eyes and ear didn’t let him see that. He says it’s not the end of the world when we split but to me gosh it almost feels like my little world is split. When I frighten this far, cried, restless days, loved, talk endless calls with him to keep us and have an image of what kind of future we could have if we both put our two senses and love I just smile. Opened my eyes and saw us there, what a great feeling. I got many unknowns questions?? Why did he let me love him this far and now decide you’re done not just with the relationship but with me? Was my love I had for him was it so wrong? How do you know when the love you first shared is no longer burning deep within for him? I mean do you just figure it out, does it just hit you one day or does it take some sort of event to slap you in the face before you realize it? And if you do know, how do you just walk away? Can you tell me please? I want a relationship, I know what I want. I think he the opposite, since not nearly mature enough mentally to deal with because only cause him angry, negative attitude and walks way without dealing with it not bothering to know what you have cause or will cause to others. He has a person who thinks the world of him and decides to reject all they have for him. “They say he doesn’t love me enough, people don’t take many breaks from an individual relationship specially a one that only have a few quality times be with each other and let go like that.” Not sure why did he let me believe that he did love me all this time as often I ask him. He’s being a coward towards me off not facing me. Nothing makes sense I feel more like he just can’t commit and have responsibility as a relationship partner in my opinions. Or he just doesn’t love and these ways say no more I looking for another new person. How can all this memory, years we know each other close that book like nothing was written on it. Wish I didn’t have feeling not feel the hurting part and to be simply and erase. Is this a something I should say I need to let go or keeping fighting? Or isn’t his angry doesn’t let him think clear, how do I know it’s fair for my heart to wait or hope he change is mind. I’m very lost and emotionally hurt. Neither I’m not ready to end it but, I know were both hurting and neither knows how to stop the pain or fix a disagreement from blowing out of control. I feel hurtful while we are in bad terms but I’m cant suffer anymore it feels my heart is constantly ripped out too. We were such a on and off couple I know we look like the biggest failures and I don’t want it to end like that. He made this decision on his own. He acting like he doesnt care and the less he knows about me the better he is. Feels like I failed again! I gave it all I did my part to tell that he’s is the love of life and I stood by on the good and worst time and he just gave up on us. I did want I could do get give us a chance… but when the other doesn’t want no more what can I do. It is going to be very gray days for me… Loneliness will fall on me at time but I got to figure out to save myself out of that. Please send prayers my way…

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Thank you all for taking time to read my story and any suggestions are welcome.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                • jordan

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  i’ve been dating this girl in my school for a month. and during the holidays, when we’re in a vacation. she broke up with me.she said that she feels like she’s treating me more like a brother.and she wants a clean break. tho, she did mention that she still wants us to be really good friends. but ever since we came back from our vacation. i couldnt help but to keep thinking of her. and it hurts really bad. i cant eat or sleep properly . and i dream of her every single night. and i’m not someone who cry but it hurt so bad and i feel so helpless that the only way to feel better is to cry it all out. i’ve been reaching out to god, asking for his direction and asking him to bless me so i’ll feel better about it. 2 weeks have passed. and i still continue to feel the pain. my ex wouldnt even look at me anymore or even talk to me and it hurts really bad. it’s really funny how we used to have the world to talk about and we’re so comfortable together and now we cant even say a word to one another. tho i really wanna move on and just look forward to someone who appreciates me. but deep inside. i still really want her back. cause she was everything i hoped and prayed for before i got to know her. someone please tell me what to do.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  • Zane

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    hey all, i dont know how to begin this or what to do so here we go. I am a freshman in college and had been dating my girlfriend the summer leading up to this semester. Within two weeks of arriving in college, my girlfriend broke it off. It totally blindsided me and i honestly had no idea it was coming. I feel pathetic considering that we were only together for a few months, but that doesn’t stop the pain. She was my first girlfriend so i shared alot of my firsts with her. She owns my first kiss, which i had previously planned to hold onto for my wife. There is not a minute that goes by that i dont think of her. I go to bed, wake up, and spend my entire day thinking of her. I feel like i am in a nightmare that i cant seem to get out of. I really like her and wanted to pursue our relationship in college. She possesses all of the attributes that i would want in my wife and wanted to see how far we could go. I know that there are “other fish in the pond” but all the clishes that people say dont help. All i wish is that i can be back together with her, but i know that God is ultimately in control of those things. I constantly think how she is probably with other guys and the pain that causes is so intense that i want to throw up. I just need some help and encouragement to get me through this awful time in my short life so far.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    • Candice

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Dear Friends,

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      After reading so many broken heart stories, I shouldn’t feel so bad any longer feeling sorry for myself and thinking that God has deserted me by not answering my prayer for a husband.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I have been single for 14 years now, I just could not get over the break up with my ex. We were together for 3 years and after our break up he started seeing my best friend, which was even harder for me to cope with. I left home and travelled abroad for 2 years, not that helped much, because when I returned home, the pain was still there and I still continued to hear about my ex and my ex-best friend. They were together for 3 years and then also broke up. Now they are happily married to other people, my ex married a complete stranger, someone he met in another city and has been married for 3 years now and has 1 child. Today I finally saw his wife, I think the Lord knew it was time for me to see them together so that I could stop praying and fantasising that we would end up together again. I now pray that the Lord will bring my future husband into my path, because I really long to have a loving relationship again, and spend the rest of my days on this earth with a man who loves me and also wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Thank you for allowing us to speak about our broken hearts. It’s comforting to know I am not alone and GOD loves all of us with an unconditional love.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Faith

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Hi guys I truly believe that God has led me to this website, reading some of the stories here made me feel that I’m not alone. I’ve broke up with my ex one year and five months ago, yet the pain is still the same as if we just broke up yesterday. I still care and deeply love him. I was with him for four years, he was my first love, the only guy I’ve ever been with. We both accepted Christ but I guess you can say I was more mature spiritually. The time we were together was the happiest times of my life, I honestly thought he was the one. We both went to church together, we attended youth together, we were both active in church. But then we also were sinning, and both fell into temptation. Just like many of you guys story, there were times that we stop what we were doing, but then we always end up falling into the trap, and this went on all through out our relationship. Then one day, at the toughest times of my life, where everything was going wrong, where I needed him the most, he decided to leave me, his excuse was he wanted me to go back to God, that that was the only way he could think of that we both can stop was if we broke up. I was extremely hurt by that, I felt that he abounded me, he gave up on us, I wanted to work it out, my pastor even offer to counsel us, but he refused. So that whole time, I felt that he just used that as an excuse, as an escape goat, because he didn’t want to tell me that he fell out of love for me. He said he wanted us to stay friends, but that didn’t work out b/c how can u be friends with someone u don’t see as a friend? So, I decided to stop trying to communicate with him. We haven’t talked for 5 months now, and just recently I emailed him apologizing for how I reacted to the whole break up. It doesn’t seem like I was all that important to him, b/c he just left me, I was extremely hurt and until now is still hurting b/c i felt so unappreciated by him when I gave him my best during those four years. Now I think he is happy with someone else, he is happy with his life with out me, completely move on, with new friends and I’m here stuck, still hurting, still trying to forget him. I asked God so many times to take the pain away, to remove the love for him, but it just doesn’t seem to go away. Pls pray for me that I will one day receive the complete healing and my heart will be restore once again.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        • Christine

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Hi Faith,

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Thank you for sharing.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I’m sorry that you’re hurting the way you are.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I know how you feel, I had a boyfriend who broke my heart and then asked me to be friends. I also had to stop talking to him.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Your heart will heal, it will take a little time, and a lot of God. God knows exactly what you’re going though, so talk to Him about how you feel as often as you can. He will take away the pain you have now, and when He does (even though it’s hard to see right now) you’ll look back and see how much you’ve learned about yourself and God.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          We’ll be praying for you that your heart will be completely healed, that it will be strong and ready to love again.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          • Lynette Smith

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            It’s 2:12 am and I am up reading your site for advice on mending my broken heart. I was dating a pastor for about 4 1/2 months. He said he was pursuing me for marriage and our relationship was fulfilling mentally, emotionally, spiritually etc. I had never met anyone like him and fell in love with him. Near the end of the 4 1/2 months, I broke off the relationship because I found out about another woman. He denied his interest initially and said his visits to relationship with her was only tied to his ministering at her church. Later he admitted that he was pursuing us both. I broke it off immediately, but spoke to him a month later when he criticized my involvment in the singles ministry and a fast I decided to take. It hurt me that he was in the ministry and so critical of my walk. I felt wounded but assured that I had made the right decision to end the relationship and block all contact. Today, was the heartbreaker, I found out that just 3 weeks shy of our disconnect, he is now married to the female pastor and has moved in to live with her. He has also been installed as the head pastor of her church. It’s disturbing that people can lie and cheat and just move on with their lives as if you never existed. I know my identity in Christ and how much I am loved but I have to say my flesh is hurting…my heart is broken and I want to put up a wall as high as the sky to make sure this never happens again…I was kind and good to this man and he betrayed me, and worse feels absolutely no remorse…God please heal my heart and mind…any advise or words of encouragement are appreciated…I am struggling tonight and my heart is heavy

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            • rhonda

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Ladies i can relate to your pain , I have been i a relationship with this man for about 5 years thout he was differenth it all started out lovely furtherv into it i started noticing different things he call a female every single day i asked him about it claim it was nothing ok nothing i am fed up with all the lies sick of it b/c i don’t have time for all the drama so i said enough is enough , i am not going to die over the break up actually i thank god for it ,so ladies keep the faih i know i am God bless

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              • Jackie Raab

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                We were “together” for almsot 2 years. In my whole life no guy had ever liked me, but he was crazy enough too. We really wanted to date but we couldnt because his parents wouldnt let us, he wasnt alowed to date untill junior year and we had liked each other and wanted to date freshman and sophomore year, i fell in love with him. and so the summer comming into our sophmore year we were great and everything and at our church camp he met this girl and started hanging out with her alot. after camp he told me he realized God wasnt calling him to pursue a relationship with me. and that he didnt feel God in our relationship. he then stoped liking me. and said because he knew God wasnt in this that it made our relationship be for wrong intentions and knowing that it wasnt hard to leave. he then started really liking this other girl hed barley known for a week and after junior year started and he was alowed to date he started dating her. and she was one of my good freinds too. i and hurting so much and have a broken heart and i dont know what to do,

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                • Gucci

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Lynette Smith what the Pastor did to you was not right, but God is just and faithful and stands for what is right, Jesus is coming back for a Church without compromise without blemish and wrinkles and the pastor who did this will have to answer for what he did, he will stand before God and give an account of his life and his works what will he answer? you and all will witness this and he will face the punishment, he will reap what he sows, I do pray that he is sorry for what he has done and comes to repentence but even if he does i believe that he will reap what he sows on earth even if he goes to heaven i know full well of this…

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  In the past I used to be very bad and would sleep with many men treat them badly as though they meant nothing to me, i would dismis them as though they were dirt, although i came to realise what i did was wrong and repented came back to christ I still went through very hard times because of the choices I made.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I met this wonderful man and he was perfect to me I actually believed he was the one and then found out he was cheating, and it nearly killed me I was heartbroken but you reap what you sow right? and i sure did, now i just thank God that he has forgiven me and saved me from hell but we do get back what we give to others.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  The reason it takes ages to get over someone especially if you have sex before marriage is because you create a soul tie meaning that you and that person became one all the days of your life, you have to ask god to break it because even if your mind has got over him when you see him you will be pulled torwards each other…

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  This is why many men cheat on women they actually love its because they have many soul ties and cant help but go back to the person…

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  • joe

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Hey, I posted on here a couple months ago about a girl who was 18 and going into college and gave up on me mostly because of that reason (i’m 21, and gonna graduate in a year). I first want to say thank you so much for the prayers. We only dated 2 months, but for some reason i was in love with her from the day we started dating (i never told her, i was wanting to give it a lot more time so I wouldn’t freak her out). I should also state that I don’t date much, I just wait patiently for the next girl who will take my mind off the last, that’s when I know shes a good one. I’m sort of against rebounds, it usually ends up hurting someone else. I told you about how she kept a lot of the relationship alive in terms of texting, talking, sitting together at church, and she even wanted to hang out. She obviously wanted me in her life, and I wasn’t stupid enough to think I could get her back. We eventually went out for pizza together when she told me about another guy she was interested in as if it was just regular conversation (she didn’t end up with this guy). That hurt, although I said nothing at first. I talked to a female friend of mine who was very encouraging and told me I was too good to be dragged along like that. I then talked to my 39 year old, married with 5 children sister who told me that my ex really wanted my presence, just not my intimacy, and both said that I needed to tell her how I felt, and that my ex would respect that and things would get better. I did just that, I wrote my ex a letter explaining how much I still cared for her, missed her, and liked her, but I also told her how talking about other guys around me hurt me, and how I was incredibly confused on the status of our relationship and it hurts. After a week of no communication, she finally texted me wanting to meet up and talk. I expected her to tell me that we shouldn’t speak anymore, and I was obviously (knowing it was unrealistic and not expecting it) hoping she would somehow take me back. The first thing she told me was that she thought i was so great but she just didn’t have those feelings for me and there were tears in her eyes. I proceeded to ask her her real reasons for breaking up with me and she basically told me I was too good for her and I deserved better, and that my age and maturity was disheartening to her because she felt I have experienced so much more than her as if college is actually this wonderfully liberating time of life. I proceeded to tell her that as honestly as I could that she was the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met just to get it off my chest and she then said I was the nicest person she’s ever met and that I was adorable. We then just laughed and talked till I dropped her back off at her dorm. Essentially nothing happened during the talk, she basically said she loved my friendship even though she knows I could never see her just that way even though I love her friendship too. 2 weeks later i saw on facebook she had a new boyfriend, and a few weeks have passed since then and it is killing me to think about. She hasn’t been to church at all since we talked, and she was telling me how her college friends really don’t go to church because they party pretty late on Saturdays. Not only is thinking about her new guy really hurting, I’m also starting to think college life is keeping her from her God life, and I really care about her and want her to improve in her faith. She goes to one of those tiny colleges with a wet campus where everyone is greek & all they do is drink and party and i know she is very involved in it, even though I know it’s empty, because I have been around it for 3 and 1/2 years, and even admittedly taken part a sometimes. I hate this, I met her on a mission trip and things were just incredible, and we basically committed ourselves to trying our best to make it a work about a month into our relationship. My letter and honesty has only lead to more hurt for me, and she seems to be having the time of her life with a new good looking guy. Why can’t I be happy she is happy? I read 1 Corinthians 13 everyday to remind me of what love is, and not be be jealous and be patient. I pray daily for contentment, patience, a spouse, to get over her and also for my ex’s safety. I love her so much and have a desire to protect and care for her, but at the same time I want nothing more than to be over her so I can find someone new. She was my first girlfriend in 3 years, and even after treating her great, it still blew up in my face. I hate everything so far that has become of this. I promise I do put all my hope in Jesus, but I am having the hardest time getting over this girl. I’ve never had to totally cut off communication with someone I cared so much about, but I feel like that is naturally what is happening (we have talked briefly twice since our talk). I know I will see her again, and I don’t know what to do when I do. I need prayers bad. I hate losing this relationship, she was so amazing, please pray that I will keep my hope in Jesus, an not in our now almost non-existent relationship. It takes me so long to get over girls, I don’t know why I am this way. It hurts, and I feel like it holds me back.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I’m sorry I ramble so much.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    • Shanon

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Faith-

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I have such a similar story. My ex boyfriend and I were dating for 2 1/2 years and when we first started dating we dicussed having a Christian relationship. We avoided temptation on numerous occasions however fell into temptation, just as you and your ex did. Once you fall it is hard to stop. Instead of sitting down face to face and having a discussion about it he handled everything on the phone.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      My ex and I had a long distance relationship and he was planning on moving to my state yesterday. He broke up with me last Sunday saying we did not see eye to eye on things anymore and the spark and passion were gone. He made up his mind that once he moved into the same state our relationship needed to totally change. No sleep overs, no taking naps together, no cuddling. I took it as an insult to me, as I should not have. He wanted me to agree with him immediately and gave me no time to process how our relationship was going from moving forward to moving 10 steps back. He was questioning my comittment to having a Christian relationship. I feel sometimes it is so easy to point fingers at one person instead of digging in your heart and seeing how you need to handle a situation and change for the better. I felt like he was pointing fingers at me.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I have lived my life the way the Lord would want me to however I am quiet in my faith. I feel guilty, like I have done something wrong. He was not willing to work anything out. He just gave up on us.. is that the way someone walking with the Lord would handle a situation? I am not sure.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      My heart is broken. I continue to pray and as God to heal my broken heart.. I want to be whole again.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Alison

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I just wanted to come back again to say thanks for anyone who has prayed for me. I last posted in Aug 09 and was three months pregnant and had just escaped from a toxic relationship abroad. My heart has a lot more peace, time has helped and God has started the healing process. My beautiful baby daughter is 9 months old and is the absolute love of my life. I can’t say that my heart is 100% healed yet and for sure life as a single mother is hard, but I can say that God has got me in His hand and He is giving me the strength that I need. He will do the same for you. I still haven’t been able to show my face back at church, but I’m still praying about it and asking God to help me to face those Christians that I knew before. They will be shocked to see me now as a single mother and some may judge, who knows, but I ask for the strength to face it nevertheless. God bless everyone who is hurting and I pray that you will see the light at the end of your tunnel very soon.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        • lydia

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I’ve had a very troubled year, when I 16 I met a guy, before this I had no experience what so ever with any guy and this guy made me feel special and I was niave he told me everything I wanted to hear, I fell for everything he said we met through a mutual friends friend, at the time I had a low confidence and with his influence we had sex not long after he told me he never cared he just wanted that from me I felt foolish and became very saddened by this, I did not speak to guys for quite some time and made another bad choice and was put in a situation where I got rapped,I was heart broken…I found Christ through this process took me time. And yrs passed and found a Godly man who prayed with me and he helped me heal my heart, then somehow it ended things changed and he didn’t feel the same way he once did.I was devasated.It took me a while but I eventualy believed to be over him.As I grew I met a few Guys on the way and no one ever topped him of how I felt the joy when I was with him.I then talked to a guy of a different faith went on a wrong path and felt like I lost God.I ended up seeing another guy and during the time my mom became ill and passed the guy was not supportive and became very mean during that time I found out my first love the one who brought me joy at one point I discovered he was married another devestation…I am now alone and thinking of all the losts that have broken my heart that it hurts so much I cannot sleep what can I do to mend this brokenness I pray and pray to overcome the loss of a mother,the need to accept the past and move on what can I do?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          • yemi

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I need prayers and I would appreciate letters of encouragement from any child of God. I discovered this site accidentally and I now know that am not alone. My ex got married on Saturday the 16th jan 2011, he broke up with me on the 31st of dec 2010 after 3yrs.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            • JoAnn

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Good morning:
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              It is with saddness that I make this post. This morning I found out that my friend was cheating on me. I gave this man my heart, my love, and all of me only to be betrayed. My heart is aching and I feel numb. I have had so many bad relationships and I really tought he was different. Please pray for my strength and that I can move on with my pride and dignity….

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              • Maria

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                My boyfriend of 10 years left me 5 months ago,I am so heartbroken,he is 50 and I am 40,I helped him for years when he was in and out of jobs and when his house needed to be repaired and when he didn’t have money to feed his son,he never introduced me to his family and friends,he used to tell me he didn’t have any,I feel so used and stupid to have trusted him.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I am a 3rd year student nurse and I do not have the will and strength to finish my course.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I have two children (from my 1st marriage) who rely on me and I can’t take anymore of the pain I feel inside.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I truly wish I was dead.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I can’t stop crying that’s all I seem to do……..I miss him so much.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Please someone pray for me….I feel so lost and lonely,please someone help me stop the pain.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Thank you.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                • XXX

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Hello.i went into a relationship with a man that claimed he was Christian.He played the ‘Christian’ life style so well i didnt have a reason to suspect he wasn’t one.He was subtly possessive and manipulative.I truly loved him and prayed a lot for us.5 months into the relationship,i discovered he had multiple girl freinds and was sleeping with a lot of them.He was not saved at all and was engaging in a lot of ungodly acts.He was my very first love and it really broke my heart to find out that i’d fallen in love with a wolf in sheep’s clothing…Will i ever trust another man? I pray that God will heal my broken heart.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  • Adam Vagus

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I tried online dating and was recently left heartbroken by a woman who seemed to fit me like a glove. I firmly believed that the Lord was giving me signs that she was the one only to find out that she is now ‘moving on’. I feel so hurt and empty that I rage mentally at her many times throughout the day, claiming that she never loved me or she would of waited on me like she promised she would. She claimed multiple times that she loved me and believed that God made us for each other and now I’m left with this. How can I ever trust a woman to hold my heart ever again? I am at the point that I want to give up entirely on love and be single forever.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    • H. Mickey Gill

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Hi Adam.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I feel your pain. Sometimes one has to ask if the so called reward in finding that special someone is worth the risk and aggravation. I don’t see how it is.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Teama S.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        i have always been the one in the relationship that gets left hurt or cheated on. i feel it isnt a cime to love hard and to realy truly care bout someone. i pray god heal me and make me a stronger person. i am in a relationship with a person that so say loves and cares about me but it his way or no way. he is never willing to compromise and it hurts cuz im so deep into love with this person i dont know what to do. god made me who i am and to love someone with all my heart. i dont any other way. i pray that some day this person realizes that love like i give to him is hard to find and it is not healthy to treat me how he is. i been hurt so much and so many times i dont wanna start all over i cant handle another heart ache. god when is it my turn. if this guy realy loves me change his heart and his ways. work on him lord.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        • marlene westrick

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          my husband left me after 26 years for a younger woman 36 I pray against that jazabelle spirit and comand all soul ties to leave it takes a long time to heal a broken heart but oly god can do this i want my marriage healed and eva ack to mexico where she belongs amen

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          • Mahe

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            i am a 16 year old girl who is well educated and in a gud family. but i chose a poor uneducated guy who is 22 years old to love. and now it has been 1 and a half years 4 our relationship. he had a ex gf and he has a tatoo of her name on his hand. i didnt argue much about it bcs i trusted him. i also had sex with him but did not loose my virginity. time to time i got to know dat their affair is still gng on but i didnt trust others. i only trusted my bf. but yesterday i got to know dat it is true dat the affair is still gng on. he has promised 4 lies. he has lied to me all my life, but still i love him. he also had sex with the other girl. but when i asked him he said dat he betrayed me but he says that he still loves me. so i decided to meet him 2maro and finish this off. what can i do?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            • Wayne

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Well for me I just got out of a relationship where the girl I thought was my girlfriend actually had a boyfriend before she met me and to add the icing on the cake she was engaged to him…now this girl pushed for her and I to have a relationship and things were going along fine till we had a huge argument on V’tines day and I mentioned to her that I felt something was up that she wasn’t telling me, I was right, when she told me I was distraught….she allowed me to develop feelings for her & encouraged me to invest into this relationship over 4 months when she knew that it may not last, I mean I even told her I had gotten out of a relationship earlier in the year where I was hurt and I found it ridiculous that knowing that she still proceeded to set me up to be hurt, added also she claimed to be a victim of cheating in a previous relationship, so I am lost, if she knew all that why make a move at me? insist on meeting my family, being almost like a big sister to my brother amongst other things and then drop the bomb-shell…..”I am engaged to someone else”.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Now her fiance visited my country(both he and her are from another country-he works overseas, she studies in my country) and I guess that also prompted her to tell me and now it seems they either are getting back together/ have gotten back together. I know I should be happy that they have been given a 2nd chance to mend their relationship but I felt I came out worse-off in the end seeing that I was dragged into this situation innocently and now I am left to deal with the mess she created for me….added to the fact that she has restricted/removed all communication with me, I am left feeling hurt/angry and disgusted….I said I forgive her and she apologized, but to be quite honest I still feel that I want her to pay for the pain she caused for me, I mean the damage is done and I felt that ‘sorry’ came a bit too late…I pray every day for strength and courage to soldier on through this pain and focus on my studies(at University) but sometimes it comes back like a stab in my heart….*sigh*

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              • Akwero Betty

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I have been abandoned by my husband whom we have a son of 1 year. Until yesterday that i was devastated by his disappearance. He works with judicial and requested to be transfered and i woke up only to find out that he had left. Broken hearted, confused and messed up. I felt like resigning and looking for him in the new locatio but i also fear he could be engaged and i may be embarrased only. Please help me.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                • Fridah

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I have had several relationships with Men, but none seem to work out. Sometimes I feel that I rush and dont wait on God to give me the right person. I recently tried online dating and met a wonderful Man, with whom we have broken up with, Iam so heartbroken, I regret having started the relationship, but am praying that God will bring the right person.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  • Stone

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Since 2009 not dating anyone, i feel like the is no one for me. i feel so lonely. Each time when man propose for love,they want to have sex, as for me i refuse & they will live me telling me that God will send his Angel to marry me be for sex. Please help me i’m so scared to have sex before the marriage. But how long must i wait for the right one Lord?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    • LJ

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Please, someone, anyone, please God heal my broken heart. I am crying out to God for healing (crying)….I have been in a relationship for 6yrs with a person that has taken my life on a rollercoaster ride from hell. From the time I met them, there were lies told to me by them. I have been lied too so much in the 6yrs we have been together it is rediculous. I have been walked out on by them 6 times while we have been together. I have been cheated on while we have been together. I stayed with them for 6yrs through all the deception, betrayl, the lies, the manipualtion, the cheating. I stayed with this person through thick and thin. One day this month…i decided to stand up for my self and not accept another heartbreak when my mate decided to tell me they have accepted a job out of towm, and they would be gone 4 days and back for 3. I could not accept another lie, another heartbreak, cheating…so I told my mate to “get out”…. 2 days later they left. My heart is devestated because I STAYED for all the previous hurt they dealt my life for 6 yrs. I decided to stand up for myself and to no longer be a doormat, and they walkout on me again???????

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I stayed true to this person like no other, and they turn their back on me….AGAIN!??? PLEASE HELP ME GOD. My heart litteraly is shattered into a million pieces…… I want to die!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Andre Vialva

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I know this may be a forum for people who have been in a relationship, but what about those who have been told these words ” Your a nice Guy but I don’t think it’s going to work” especially if you liked this person for a very very long time? What do I do now? she’s the only one person that really really like. God I need your help

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        • Debra Jean

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I’m hurting right now to. But as I read these hurts and pains of our hearts I am reminded how all too often we place OUR wants and desires ahead of our love and desire for God. Seemingly, many of us have forgotten what God has asked us to do. (Deuteronomy 6:4-5 and Leviticus 19:18).
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          And you shall love the Lord your God:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          with all your heart,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          with all your soul,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          with all you mind,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          with all your strength, …
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          and … love your neighbor as yourself.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I will be honest with you. I was placing my relationship ahead of the Lord. I was placing my needs ahead of the Lord, I even can say I wasn’t very obedient as a child of God during my relationship. If we LOVE God as HE asks us to as well love others as HE asks us to, that means to do so as JESUS loves others. If someone is not respecting and loving you as Jesus would. You have to step out of a relationship and allow yourself to heal from the destructiveness and lack of love. God desires the best for each of our hearts. He wants you to see Him in your relationships. If you begin to see the deterioration of the relationship you have with God while in a relationship. You must rethink the motives for the relationship you have with the other person. Both pair of eyes must be set on HIM in order for a growing loving and respectful relationship to flourish. Otherwise, even just one little hint of sin can poison the start of something that could have been wonderful. That is how the enemy will enter Christians hearts and destroy Christian relationships. Sigh…friends… guard your hearts, repents of your sinful ways, give it to God and let Him know all that’s happening in your heart right now. Do not allow your feelings to get the best of you. Understand one thing. GOD has plans for you, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'” – Jeremiah 29:11
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          BELIEVE and APPLY God’s word to your hearts.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          The Healing will begin. IF YOU ALLOW IT.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          • Rose

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            My heart has not only been broken, it has been shattered, 35 years and i’ve never had my heart broken till now, could you imagine giving up everything for a man you could’nt imagine tomorrow without, wanting to move to another country over 3000 miles away, moving in faith to find/ realise he doesnt love you and probably never did, he’s not as commited as you were and the words spoken were just words, to save yourself for this man to feel unwanted and unattractive, all this whilst dealing with other major issues, as a christian couple to find condoms in his bag whilst looking for a pen (why would you have them if your abstaining from sex)……..still i want to have faith, i’m really trying …you don’t know how hard i’m trying to keep my faith, i know my God is awesome and he will get me through, in the meantime what do i do, i can only pray so much……..i don’t have a home to go back to ….and i’m in a country i cannot stay in ….i stepped out in faith and stepped in something i don’t recognise…….all i’ve been doing for 3 weeks straight is cry myself to sleep……..last night was my breaking point…..i just wanted to disappear from everything and everyone

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            • Jessi

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I am engaged to an alcoholic man I am not in love with. I had a brief fling with another man who was also engaged. She cheated on him many times and he was such a nice guy and he was so amazing in bed. He broke up with her for awhile, but then got back with her because he was afraid to leave behind the good memories and he wanted to try and love her like he use to. Plus he has been raising her kid as his and wanted to give it one last shot for the child. It has been very hard for me because it was love at first sight for me. I never believed in it until it happened. Obviously it wasn’t that way for him. I feel like a fool. I cry myself to sleep I miss him, I want to talk to him, but I can’t because she will find out and I don’t want to look like a crazy person.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I will eventually leave my fiance, we don’t even sleep in the same room anymore, plus I know he has been cheating on me too. I’m just waiting for my pain to subside before I enter into another stressful situation, leaving him and breaking the news to our families, moving out. I want to move far far away where I’ll never see the guy I love again. I’ve never felt like this about any of my ex’s. WTF is wrong with me? I knew him for all of 2 months and most of that was just spent talking on the phone. I feel so stupid, and pathetic… but the pain won’t go away.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              • W

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Well, towards the end of my recent sophmore year, I tried to start dating a girl who claimed she was a Christian, and initially she gave my positive signs, then once I got home from college 2-3 weeks later she abruptly said she had a boyfriend (out of the blue) and then unfriended me on facebook without so much as a goodbye. I had indicated that I would be willing to travel to her hometown to get to know her better during this summer, so I was surprised to say the least. Maybe I was someone’s idea of an amusing prank.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                It felt like someone blasted me with a 12-gauge, since this was just the latest of a string of rejections I faced this past year. It was like a nasty cherry on top to end the school year. I’ve moved on, but I’m not sure how I’ll react if I see her again. She may or may not have been a single mother (based on the limited amount of time I looked at some of her facebook photos), so it could be that she is still attached to her ex/father of the children. At least she was honest at the end about her true feelings; I’ve been stabbed in the back so many times I don’t hardly give a s*** anymore.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                • Matty

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Me and my girlfriend was really happy together, we went out if we had the money and stayed in and enjoyed each others company if money was tight. We have both been in really bad relationships in the past whichc made it hard for both of us to open up to each other and trust each other as a couple fearing things will happen all over again from what we have experienced in the past. We was goin so well we went on holiday together, planned to live together, get married and have children. I loved her so much I couldn’t go a day without telling her how much I love her. Then for a week she had started becoming distant with me. She never replied to my text messages or even told me she loved me when I text her. She was showing the tell tale signs of cheating that I have experienced with previous girlfreinds but when I asked she said there was no one else. Then out the blue she ends it and couldn’t even give me an reason why. I am devastated and heartbroken. I feel like no matter who I meet it always ends the same way and feel like there is either something wrong with me or women just enjoy playing with people’s emotions. I feel completely lost and don’t know what to do anymore. I would give anything to have her back but deep down I know it will never happen and I don’t want to go through another year of being single and closed off from people again.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  • Jonathan

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Ever since I was young i have always been a shy passionate guy. I have always wanted somebody to love but was always to shy to ask any of the girls i liked out. I didn’t have my first girlfriend until my senior year of prom but since my sophomore year of prom I prayed God would send me an amazing blessed woman to appreciate . That Prom date turned out to be everything I ever had wanted. we talked on the phone every night, she went to her grandparents in Lousianna for 4 months and we still stuck together . everything was beautiful those first two years. in December 2010 she called the police on her brother because they got in an argument and he was acting crazy, little did she know her brother had been accused of armed robbery and might have to serve life in prison. That affected her deeply her heart was hardened as hard as possible.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    2 weeks after I gave her a promise ring and 2 days after our 3 years anniversary she tells me she is growing attracted to a good male friend of hers I had met on several occasions. i was crushed and decided to break it off and try to be her friend. To put it bluntly she temporarily lost her mind and she wasn’t herself at all. a woman who previously was everything I ever wanted told me time and time again I wasn’t the one for her, that she had to see this possibility of a relationship though for ” us” , and basically hid me away from everyone in her personal life or referred to me as just a friend. after 6 months of trying so hard to convey to her that something was wrong with her I finally gave up on her about 2 weeks ago.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    right now my heart is in an interesting place I love her and She loves me and me breaking up with her helped soften her heart because in many ways she is my everything and I am hers. She broke it off with he friend and is only now coming out of her insanity, she realizes how much she has hurt me and i pray everyday that I can forgive her but I would be lying if i feel like i could ever trust her the same.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I love her and I still believe she is the woman I want to marry but wow I don’t know if this is simply a matter of time having to heal all wounds or if maybe for now we should just take a breather from each other. it hurts to say the least I want so badly to say ” she wasn’t in her right mind you can trust her now…..but it feels like it’s impossible to overlook what she said to me, what she did to me. hearing her voice light up when this friend called on a phone. hearing everyone tell her how cute a couple they make…..it hurts so much and even though we are through it now and she wants me…..I’m never going to forget all of that. one day she was mine and then the next day she wasn’t .in one fell swoop the only person i ever let into my heart hurt me more than anyone ever could……please pray for me that i regain my trust in her and if God wills it our relationship only grows stronger..

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    • AV

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I’ve been married for a year and my husband filed for divorce – because of he has got this idea (from his family) that I’m after his money even though I haven’t asked him for anything during our marriage. We have two small children together. I’ve been going through a really hard time because my marriage and our lifes have been destroyed because of a lie. I really need God in my life and I’ve been praying etc and it just feels that I’m praying against the ceiling. How do you hear Gods voice??? Please if anyone has got advice or scripture to help me to pick up the pieces of my life and be strong again for myself and my children and to help me to move on – on the path that God has set out for us please help!!!! I just need to hear Gods voice, I need to know that He is there, I really need His peace and love in our life… Please help!!!!!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Rosella

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Debra Jean, Thank you for your post. It has been most inspirational to me. My fiance broke up with me after two years of being together and we had our wedding set for Mar 17 next year. We were both in the church (he was a deacon). We didn’t do things pleasing to God and as stated we cannot put our wants and desires ahead of God. We have to put God first in everything including our relationship! This is a lesson I have learned and a valuable one. I am hurting now because of the breakup but I know that God is in control of this and He knows whats best for me. Thank God I found this forum because it has been helpful to me to know that I am not the only one out there hurting. We can and will make it through this but only with God’s help! May God bless you all and WE WILL SEE THE SUNSHINE AGAIN!!!!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        • michbun of philippines

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          In regard to healing a broken heart. To those who have been hurt because there are relationship that came along in your life and in just a moment that relationship is over. Im also a single believer and a committed follower of Jesus. As ive learned from my walk with God, ive been also hurt but it never control me rather Ive learned to trust God. Especially if the person you like doesn’t like or your bf or gf leave. All I can is that God has a plan for you.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          If you want to ask more of ideas and advice just email me
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          tim7servant@yahoo.com

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          • Michael

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I dated the best friend I’ve ever had for close to three years.A year ago She asked us to end the relationship but promised nothing will change.She sid She just didn’t love me anymore and didn’t want the relationship to drag into marriage.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            She tried to lessen the impact of her action but after a year I still cry, miss her and han’t been able to forget about her.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            She on the otherhand started dating a banker a week after we broke up.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Can any help me on how to forget about her?I want to stop calling her, picking her calls and even deleting her from my facebook friends (want to cut all relations with her), is it a good thing to do?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Kindly assist

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            • Adriann

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              In regard to a broken heart, I was in a relationship for almost 7 years. We had two children together but never ended up getting married. He is.from Mexico and ended up getting deported 3 years ago in December. After his deportation I started drinking A LOT I neglected my children and needed a guy in my life I even got two duii’s. I knew the Lord, but I didn’t love Him. I was living life for me. Well about a year after He got deported this guy requested my friendship on myspace. I accepted and we talked almost everyday for 5 months until he came to Oregon to meet me. The day we met we never spent a day apart for almost a year and a half. I ended up having to spend some time in jail during our relationship due to the past years duii’s. He stayed with my children and while I was in jail I surrendered my life over to God. About 6 days after I got out of jail I was baptized. About 5 months later he was baptized. My relationship with God was getting very close I stopped being intimate with him and I told him that he needed to get his own place because it was not right that we lived together. He wasn’t taking it serious and we ended up commuting adultery once more after he finally got the point that I was serious with my relationship with God. I broke up with him and he finally got his own place and not a week later I found out I was pregnant. Not a week after that I found out he was with someone else intimately. I was crushed. We talked about making things right and getting married. It has been almost 7 months and the Lord has told me that he is just not the guy for me. It’s so hard because I love him so much, but I want to do the will of my Father. I’m so scared that I’m going to be alone because Satan puts lies into my mind that nobody is going to want a woman with three children, but I know that God will have someone for me who loves children and loves God just as much as I do. Being heartbroken while being pregnant is extremely hard, but God is my strength and He is giving me so much peace. His word is living and is wonderful medicine that works well with A LOT of prayer. I pray for the father of this child everyday that he will one day love the Lord with all his heart. I have forgiven him for all he has put me through and that alone has been a huge part in my healing. Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              • Leah

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Hi I want to thank Eharmony for booting off my husband when I reported he was married and still living with his wife his name is David Andrew Olding from Sask, Ont, PEI .
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                It is disappointing your sights don’t work together to keep married cheats off your Christian sights. They are pathological liars and considered by most Rats on the sights. I consider men looking to boost fragile egos at someones expense,” SAD” or should I say if they are going to hurt someone else as well as their wife they considerably selfish.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                • Kevin

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Separated from the love of my life now for 4 months. Beyond broken. Anxiety and depression is a daily battle for me. I’ve been saved since 1996. We’ve been married since 1999. We had a lot of challenges many don’t face in their marriages…at least not all clumped together. Infertility for 8 years never resulting in a child. That was our biggest dream together. Wife has chronic disability and can’t work. Lost brother in plane accident. Lost Dad to early adult alzhemiers at 61. Job losses. Bankruptcy. Lost home. Affair lasting less than 5 minutes 2004, from me. Repented. Forgiven by God. Didn’t tell wife until I found out she was having an affair going on over 5 weeks in 2010. We both got busy on repairing out marriage and giving it to God for His glory. It was going better until this July when out of the blue she wanted me out of the house. She said she needed to be alone. There was no new betrayals. Completely caught me off guard. Our betrayals prior came from all the stresses in life we failed to bring before the cross the right way. I forgave my wife. We still have a huge love for each other. But I found out 2 weeks ago she has a new man in her life. Which brought me to a new low. She doesn’t know what to do. She doesn’t want to give her new interest up but also told me she doesn’t think of me as her husband anymore and isn’t divorcing me…yet. I believe in the power of the cross to redeem any marriage. I do not believe scripture support divorce even in adultry, UNLESS the person is not repentent. If the person repents, believers are supposed to allow the spouse back into the marriage. Its a reflection of faith in how God can redeem any relationship. I want my marriage. I have gone above and beyond what most spouses would do in attempting to redeem anothers heart. But my wife just continues to drift away. I am at a complete loss. My wife was everything to me. Everything. To say there is a gaping hole in my heart…my life is an understatement. As the separation continues the pain increases even as I bring it before the cross. Even as I do more self care. Wife has me in limbo. Feel free to share advice. Love to my brothers and sisters in christ.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  • Trave

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I am a strong believer in Christ He has taken me through a lot of situations that have made me stronger. I am now at a point in my life where I feel so fragile. I was in a relationship for four years me and my ex- were off and on during that time I got pregnant with our first child in 2010 and lost my son. I was devastated, later that year I got in a serious car accident , the Lord delivered me, Thinking that after the death of our son me and my ex would have grown closer, yes we did but he still wasn’t trying to change for the better the middle part of this year I asked the Lord to reveal what is my purpose and what I should do with this relationship, I was so unhappy. Years prior to this situation he my ex told me that God told him that I was the one for him. I didn’t think nothing of it just continued dealing in the relationship. July of this year I told him that he was not making me happy anymore It hurt so bad because now I was giving up on the man that I thought was made for me. A month later I found out that he moved in with his new girlfriend which really broke my heart. He was still texting me telling me he loved me and that he still wanted to be with me but I “dumped” him. How could he do this that fast? Months went on he would come and see me up until I feel back in and we started having sex again I committed to God that I would stay celibate. I FAILED felt bad knowing he had a girlfriend. Recently I found out he has gotten this new girlfriend pregnant And Lord knows my heart is shattered. I ask the Lord what have I done, to deliver me from this pain. It hurts so bad just a year ago I was pregnant with our son now I’m lost, he is now living with her and her son and I’m alone What am I to do ?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    • Jacky

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I have lived with my partner for 9 years in which we’ve had 4 kids. The problem started when I was without a job and had to stay home to look after our first born daughter just after 3 years when we got together. When I was at home, my wife went for work and got herself flirting with a co-worker and never had the courage to tell me. I used to confront her about her lateness from work only to tell me that she was busy and had alot of things to complete. she kept silent about it. two years late she got pregnant and I only found out that the baby was not mine when the baby was born. when my wife was pregnant I found out about the relationships and confronted her. she admitted it. I forgived her at that time because we had kids in which she promised to stop and even to talk to that person. lately she has been going out late into the night and I was told that she was seen with her-ex again and he would call her and talk to her. we now have a nother baby son and because I have confronted her and with her still determined not tell me anything, she has moved out of our home and is living with her relatives. I take care of our first born daughter. She can’t about anything and keeps silent if I tell her that we need to talk and will keep silent and only listens to me even it takes an hour of me talking to her and begging her to speak her mind and admit the truth.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I am willing to move on with my life but I am worried that because we have kids that our separation will greatly impact their future and that someone coming intop her life will not take good care my children. that other partner of her is a great womaniser and had divorced 3 wives and is leaving with another wife now.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Can anyone help me out during this difficult times?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Joshua

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I love her so much…she and I have been off and on for 5 years. I always felt in my heat that she was the one. She lost her mom last year and has been going through a difficult time. So I told her that she could move down to my city and we could get a place together. So we did and then we started fighting all the time and it ended with me moving out and us broken up again. Now she is planning to move back to her city and she tells me shes done with me for good. I feel so brokenhearted, I had so many dreams of us getting married, having a family etc. I feel like all my dreams and hopes have been shattered. I want the best for her but it hurts so much to know that shes going to share the rest of her life with someone else. I feel so hopeless…

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        • katie

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          ok well i’m only 14 ok well my boyfriend is dating my bff now after we broke up for no reason he just said me and him needed to end the relationship since he loved someone else but it’s so hard for me bc i see him with my friend and i love him so much i know i’m just a kid but this is more then just kid love i mean i really really love him and still haven’t got over him for a long time and i just feel like crying when i see them together i’ve tried so hard to get him back even though i know if i truely loved him i would want him to be happy but i just want him back so bad.here is a quot i found “YOU KNOW YOUR IN LOVE IF HE MAKES YOU CRY AND YOU STILL WANT HIM, YOU KNOW YOUR IN LOVE IF HE IGNORES YOU BUT YOU STILL LOVE HIM, IF HE MOVES ON AND YOU TELL HIM YOUR HAPPY FOR HIM EVEN IF YOU JUST WANT TO CRY”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          • Michael Cordima

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            There is waaaay too much sexual immorality on this blog. Women, take it from me, if a man has cheated he will do it again and again until he is broken completely by God and I don’t mean he will come to you crying, I mean he will go to God crying because you are long gone from his life. DON’T BELIEVE HIM! HE IS A SLAVE TO HIS SIN AND WILL ALWAYS BE UNTIL YOU ARE GONE AND HE HAS NO ONE ELSE TO TURN TO BUT GOD OR ANOTHER WOMAN TO SATISFY HIS LUSTS. I too have needs but I also have self control. I am single, but I am beginning to believe that women even in the church (this blog is not helping) only want men who lie and cheat because they say the right things and make women feel good. I can do those things too, but women don’t give me the chance because I generally don’t come on to them or flirt in a sexual way with them. Please for the literal love of Christ make better decisions and be a better example for this world. Choose men who are serious about Christ more than about you EVEN IF YOU DON’T GET ALL OF THE ATTENTION. At least they won’t cheat.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            • Donald Simon

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I now have my dream house and my right job which i asked you to help me with ancientijebudespelltemple@gmail.com, your powerful job Spell has changed my life and that’s why all my friends cant stop asking me how i managed to get to a better life. Dr Ijebu i thank you so much,i will always praise your gods name Donald Simon

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              • Grace

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Michael Cordima:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Your comment was from a year ago so I don’t know if this is too late of a response to post.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I would agree with you that there are too much sexual immorality in our church. But the basic needs of a woman that requires the attention and the emotional connection is just like a male’s need for sex. It’s built in and it prevents us from looking. If a man is married to his wife but she denies him sex, that is unfair because his needs are unfulfilled and when temptation comes it just makes him all the more weaker. In the same way, a girl is built-in to have that emotional connection. It’s not that we just want lying men. We need that attention, it is a built in need and no matter how hard we try, we subconsciously need it. Just like males with sex, its a built in need. Of course, it needs to be controlled and it needs to be exercised within boundaries so that it’s operating healthily – both the emotional needs for women and sexual needs for men (of course both gender has both needs but I am speaking of the major needs of their being.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                • Fonda

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I feel the pain with you all, I married my best friend we were great together we went fishin played with the grandbabies, and they were his stepgrandbabies this was my second marriage, I dated him for 4 years before we got married. Then he went on blood pressure pills, it completely ended our sex life, i kept reasuring him it didn’t change how I felt about him, he got severely depressed he even quit showering, I begged him to get help but he would not, at the same time I was dealing with my 18 year old daughter who had gotten into alcohol and drugs…one morning I came home from a 12 hour shift and my daughter was crying she told me tht her and my husband had ended up in MY bed together they were both drunk and high, thank God he couldn’t perform…but I had a nervous breakdown, it’s been 5 years and I still have nightmares. I did start dating another man for the past two years, and I loved him it took him a year to get me to go out with him, we worked together every day, then about 9 months ago he got on blood pressure and diabetes meds and it was deja vu, he looked at porn and took care of his needs in private because he was ashamed he couldn’t perform, I reverted back into the depression mode, last month he told me he was addicted to the porn and he wanted out of our relationship, he had a woman who did the web cam thing and he was happy with that and he didn’t want to see me anymore…so here I am alone again, it makes me feel old and ugly I know I shouldn’t care about my looks or my age but I can’t help it and I am so lonely and I DO NOT sleep around so I am heartbroken and alone….I am going back to college to finish my nursing degree, I know that the elderly need someone to care about them and I need love as well maybe thats the point…to focus on others who are worse off than we are and help them out, !

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  • Nitah

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I engaged my self in a relationship when I was 19 years with a man I thought he love for 2years and some months.On one faithful evening he sent a text to tell me that we are done.I was really wounded heartbroken and a two weeks he started going out with my best friend.its been a year now I feel as if it was yesterday always in pain whenever I see them together.What should I do to let go coz its hurting I need your help to is

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