Cheating Boyfriends. Do you have a CB, a cheating boyfriend? And while we’re on this uncomfortable topic of cheating boyfriends, just how prevalent do you think cheating is? Well, according to the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago, 22% of girlfriends have cheating boyfriends. Okay, I know at least one sex who’s dying to know this. The good news is that only 12% of boyfriends have a girlfriend who’s a cheater. We’ll talk about that at another time because we want to keep focused on cheating Christian boyfriends.
I wish I could say that a Christian single woman in a dating relationship with a Christian guy has nothing to worry about when it comes to cheating. Hello! The sad fact is that statistics show there’s not much of a difference between Christians and non-Christians in the cheating business. Cheating in Christian dating is all too common.
Cheating Boyfriends: Spotting a Rat
At this point, you may be wondering, “Is my boyfriend cheating?” Guys cheat on girls for a whole different bunch of reasons, and each case is different from the other. So how would you know if you have a boyfriend who’s a cheating, lying creep?
The best place to start is to acquaint yourself with your own feelings. Studies reveal that 85% of the time when a woman thinks her boyfriend is cheating, he is! But don’t you just feel sorry for the remaining 15% of guys who were not doing it? I do.
If you’re a single girl not quite sure about your feelings, the next step is to know the signs of a cheating boyfriend. The following are the top cheating signs, put in the form of questions. If f you can answer “yes” to more than a couple, your dating relationship may be in trouble. I must preface this by saying that if you’re a paranoid chick, don’t even bother reading these because it will just drive you more crazy.
Boyfriend Cheating Sign #1: Emotional Distance
Has your boyfriend suddenly stopped calling you as frequently? Has he been less affectionate in word and deed? Has he been more difficult to contact by phone or email?
Boyfriend Cheating Sign #2: Physical Distance
Did you used to see one another often, but recently much less so? Is he inexplicably backing out or canceling on dating plans? Is he spending more time with his other “friends” and less with you? Has he been excluding you from his friends? Is he continually making excuses as to why he can’t meet on a particular day?
Cheating Boyfriend Sign #3: Spiritual Distance
If you were attending the same church, has he stopped doing so? Have you stopped praying together? Has he stopped hanging out or fellowshipping with the same Christian singles group that you do? Has he exhibited more insensitivity and impatience toward you?
Other Cheating Boyfriend Signs
- Has he suddenly started working out like he’s training for the Triathlon?
- Has he uncharacteristically bought a whole new wardrobe, and changed his looks?
- Does he get suspicious cell phone calls while he’s with you?
- Has he stopped sending you those special little notes and gifts?
- Has his apartment had an “extreme makeover” out of the blue?
- Is he spending an inordinate amount of time online?
Dealing with Cheating Boyfriends
Okay, you have a cheating boyfriend on your hands, and don’t know what to do or say? The following tips may help you get through this sad chapter in your life:
- Pray and seek guidance from trusted Christian friends before doing anything.
- Acknowledge and accept your feelings of pain, anger, and disappointment, but don’t let yourself be eaten up by jealousy.
- Honestly evaluate whether or not you should dump this dating relationship.
- If you do plan on ending the relationship, read a Christian dating article on how to break up,
- Confronting your cheating boyfriend is essential if you are ever to recover from this relationship and/or heal from the betrayal. I suggest reading this article on learning how to argue and fight before speaking to him
- Tell him exactly how his cheating made you feel, but don’t let him weasel out of the situation by attempting to pass blame onto you, or by manipulating your feelings. That’s emotional abuse, and the epitome of toxic masculinity. Remember, you may be dealing with a pathological liar. Above all else know that you are not to blame, got it?
- If the relationship is not safe, find a positive outlet for channeling your emotions. Learning how to forgive a cheater is essential, but it certainly does not mean you need to remain with that person. Remember, that avoiding rebound relationships will protect you from even more pain and suffering.
- Allow yourself time to heal from your broken heart, and know that the Lord Jesus will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrew 13:15).
Are you a single woman with something to share about cheating boyfriends?
Related Articles:
How to Stop Jealousy in a Christian Dating Relationship
Rejection Hotline: Dating Advice for the Dumped
Dating Tip Advice: How to Spot a Dating Married Man
Christian Dating Advice
10 Comments
Guitarnut
Cheating in a relationship is simply not acceptable and you don’t have to put up with it. You deserve better and never let anyone tell you that it’s your fault.
Umm...
Where’s the cheating girlfriends article? I didn’t know guys were the only ones who cheated 😐
Hold on I’ll look in the sexist category…
Tammera
Guys cheat be cause they think with their third leg and they are cowards to tell the person that they are with that they want to be with someone else. plus i think cheating is a cop-out for men. Sorry ladies for the ones that cheat just tell him that it’s over and spare the pain
Kay
If you are single and have a right to date anyone you want, how is this cheating? It’s not. A single dating relationship is NOT equivalent to a marriage and should NEVER be compared to a marriage.
If you have a bfriend/gfriend and find another, the right thing to do is to split up. But it doesn’t make a boy a RAT or a girl a RAT if they meet someone new and start seeing them and still see someone else. Sooner or later they do break up or do realize they want to stay with that certain person and stop seeing any others. It’s called DATING.
Single means NOT married! Too many people in this society equate single relationships to a marriage. This needs to stop. Single people should date and date until they find the one they will make a commitment to. There is no commitments in single dating relationships nor should anyone be weighed down with the burden that they owe someone they are NOT married to anymore than they are JUST a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Jodi
Kay,
I agree with your comments that people should have the freedome to date guilt free until they make the committment of marriage. One of the reason I beleive many marriages fail today is becasue people marry too soon without have multiple experiences. Then at some point they feel like they missed out on something and violate the vows of their marriage. That doesn’t mean we should compromise our Christian values. As long as we are behaving in a Christian lifestyle and being honest about our intentions. If we are misleading the people we are involved with and lying about our activity then it is deceitful and definitely not in God’s will.
God Bless,
Jodi
Christian Singles Blog Moderator
Abi
Men want a woman who will not date anyone else while testing the relationship for long-term value, but it has been my experience that men think it ok to continue dating multiple women at the same time. I am incapable of juggling men and believe it is only respectful to date one man at a time. I am tired of if only we had a physical relationship talk ; it would take our relationship to a new level – too true – a level of choosing to sin – too high a price for me!
Jodi
Dear Abi,
I am so encouraged by your message. It is difficult to remain strong in our Christian values and faith. I think a lot of women would agree with you on being tired of the constant pressure to compromise their beliefs.
God created men differently than women to start. They were designed to be aggressors and preserve the human race. Society has taken those natural tendencies and warped them into a double standard.
There are good men out there. Just think of them as the diamond in the rough yet to be discovered. Keep your faith as strong as it is.
God Bless,
Jodi
Violet
@Kay, if a commitment has been made, a commitment has been made. There are different kinds, and you may be right that dating *should* be a much lesser kind than marriage, but when people have agreed to certain levels of exclusivity, anything less is a genuine betrayal with all the genuine pain that comes with it. Insisting that no amount of investment has occurred before the marriage license has been signed will not help anyone get back everything they have invested.
Dennise
I cheat with a married man just for the fun of it
Deb
I found my husband on line this morning while at work cheating with a woman on line it must have been his break time. I can assure you they won’t quit doing this devastating habit no matter what. If you only have a few years invested in your relationship it is not worth the pain you will endure.
I have been married for twenty five years now and it never gets better only worse. Cheaters don’t like to feel old as they are they believe they are still in their prime years. It is a joke but that is the way most of them feel.
I found the older he gets which is 59 he now lies on dating sites about his age and shows only pictures from a distance. To see him act out like this is so sad. I would not do this journey again, instead I would run as fast as my legs would have taken me.