In regard to Christian dating courting, find it interesting that christians are still in the dating scene. Dating, to me, is simply a psuedo-marriage arrangement between two people. What I mean by ‘psuedo-marriage’ is that you get to pretend that you’re married (be exclusive, tell others that you are ‘taken’, have sex, cuddle and make out, etc), but never actually make any promises or commitments. When you are dating, it is saying to others that you are ‘taken’, but you are not ‘taken’ yet. I wonder how many men and women out there that are dating, who have discouraged their true love from finding them because their true love believes that they are ‘taken’.
If you are discouraged from dating someone for years and years and years, with no forward progress, then maybe its the fact that you are dating which is the problem.
Dating, it seems to me, has been an unspoken arrangement between men and women as a compromise to marriage. As stated before, you get to enjoy the fruits of marriage while dating, but never have to commit to anything. Though there is an ‘exclusive dating’ promise inherent in dating, ask yourself how many times have you been cheated on, or how many times did you cheat?
Christians should leave dating in the secular world, where it came from, and move on to more marriage minded activities. In the book, “How I kissed dating goodbye” by Joshua Harris, he describes the ‘dating’ process for christians as ‘courting’. This is basically the same thing as dating, but instead the man and woman are solely focused on if they are good for each other in marriage. They don’t pretend they are married and say they are ‘taken’, they are looking for a partner to share their life with and have those promises and commitments in place.
It is obviously a little more complicated than this, but in summary, if you are dating someone that you hope will someday turn to marriage, you are doing it backwards. You must date with marriage in mind and with all the commitments at the forefront. If not, then you are in a psuedo-marriage, that may or may not lead to commitment.
I will encourage all christians to stop dating, and see where it leads. But I’m an idealist, and hopelessly single, lol, so it’s probably best not to listen to me.
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