Most Christian single women and men we surveyed feel that many girls seem to prefer to date “bad guys”. Yup, hands down most single girls (Christians included) would rather date Jack Sparrow, the pirate, than Richie Cunningham, the Happy Days all-around good guy.
One depressed single Christian guy (I’m assuming he’s a good one) lamented: “I just don’t get it. Here I am, a sensitive, passionate Christian with a caring heart and a good job, but I can’t find a date if my life depended on it. Yet, some strange dude on a Harley pulls into town, and he gets any girl he wants.” Some we spoke to even went so far as to say that girls are addicted to bad guys.
So what exactly is a bad guy? One single girl put it this way: “A bad guy is a guy your parents and friends would freak out over. He’s also someone you know in your heart is bad for you spiritually, emotionally and possibly even physically, but you just can’t resist him.” Does that sound like a vampire attraction thing, or what!
Christian Single Girls On Bad Guys
Single girls who prefer bad guys described them this way:
They are exciting and unpredictable
They are bold, brash and extremely self-confident
They are strong and protective
They are sexy and dangerous all at the same time
They don’t come across as needy and desperate like a lot of other guys
If you really think about it, some of the qualities listed above are decent things to look for in a guy. So why are bad guys so bad for girls? The problem lies in the fact that even though bad guys’ collective qualities make them not boring, they also make them self absorbent. Some would also label them “jerks“, or possibly even abusive daters.
The bottom line is that this kind of single guy is unable to meet all of the things Christian single girls want and need in a guy. They may offer a girl protection, but be unable to provide financial and emotional support; They may make for a sexy and exciting date, but lack the consistency and communication skills necessary for a longterm relationship and/or marriage.
Help For Single Girls Who Date Bad Guys
If you are a single Christian girl on the verge of dating or presently dating someone you believe to be a bad guy, finding out why is the first step toward saving yourself more pain. Ask yourself the following:
Do you feel you don’t deserve any better relationship?
Do you continually feel a need to change guys for the better?
Do you fear emotionally intimate relationships and commitment?
Do you find yourself repeating a pattern of abusive relationships?
Finally, seeking advice from close Christian friends, good a Christian counseling service or pastor, may help guide you toward making better dating decisions in the future.
Christian Woman-Biblical Advice on how to be Attractive
wow. more advice to keep the myth going that girls need to marry boys so the boys can give them financial support.
economic subservience and dependency is not a healthy thing for a woman in the 21st century with Christian divorce rates so high. what if hubby dies, how does the widow support herself when she was dependent on the man’s income?
this advice should stay in the 1950s where it belongs.
David Butler Author
Holly, thanks for the comment. There is no claim here thatÂ girls \”need\” to marry boys for financial support. In fact, girls don\’t need boys at all if they have the gift of singleness. Certainly, girls need not be \”dependent\” on a boy to prosper.
Well yeah, I believe women should not rely on men nowadays for the fact that you just dont know, and the Lord said to be prepared at all times anyways so the unexpected won’t bite you in the butt. You know what I mean? And I mean that is true about bad boys and Christian girls or just girls in general. The bad guys are more attractive, but you should always stick with something or someone who is going to benefit you…. God Bless everyone.
Let’s not get a case of tunnel vision here and focus merely on “financial support” – believe it or not when you get a bad day it sure is nice to be the recipient of an understanding hug, kind word or cup of hot tea made just for you by that special caring man. The world(and the bed) soon grows cold without these little tokens of affection and respect, girls. It “ain’t all about the money, honey”.
David Butler Author
Only when she wakes up and understands what love is all about…Our advice is to move on in order to avoid more hurt.
I go to a small church and there are no guys at my church
and the only guys I know are doing drugs drinking ect…I am almost 17 and would just like to talk to christian guys and know there still around
Ive been a christian for just on 3 years now.. i was what you would call a ” bad guy” in my previous life.. i have cleaned up my game quite a bit as have many other guys in the church..
what i don’t get at church is guys that have been christians all their lives and come to church dressed as rock stars and play this ” bad guy” game with the girls and in actual fact, i have never seen a bigger bunch of losers in my life.. talk to them about th effects of drugs, women, wild parties and whatever rocks their socks etc etc and these guys wouldn’t have a clue..
one thing i know for sure is that just like the death of jesus.. good guys don’t win, but they do win in the end..
so good guys, dont be disheartened.. who wants a chic that thinks like a sheep anyway?
I think why some women pursue bad guys or attracted to them or establish relationship with them is because they are insecure of themselves. Some girls feel that having a bad guy would make them popular, have more adventurous time with them, and having someone to protect them. It’s important for women to develop good self-esteem and character. Don’t depend on a man and don’t date a bad man because he is not worth your time. Women should become Godly and God fearing women, rather trying to pursue a bad man. If you have good character you will realize that bad men are not worth it. Plus, bad guys won’t go after a strong good women because the bad guys know these types of ladies make them look weak.
I fall into the “nice guy” category, and at age 28 (in October 2010) I have never been successful in attracting Christian women. One common problem that I’ve noticed in the nice guy is that he is often (mis)labeled “spineless” in most situations, giving the bold, self-confident bad boy a decided edge. I’ve been labeled spineless myself a few times, and people I know are utterly shocked/suprised/amazed/(insert other synonym here) when I find myself in a situation where I actually need to use it. This leads me to believe that nice guys are underestimated, and as a result, many Christian women cheat themselves out of the loving relationship that God intended them to have.
Here’s a piece of wisdom from one of my favorite movie quotes of all time, from “The Karate Kid, Part 2.” Upon arriving in Okinawa, Daniel-san and his karate teacher Mr. Miyagi notice a poster advertising a karate school with the instructor breaking a log with a knife-hand strike (aka karate chop). Daniel-san asks Mr. Miyagi, “Can you break a log like that?” Miyagi shrugs his shoulders and replies, “Don’t know. Never been attacked by tree.” Miyagi does break a beam later in the movie to save a life.
Here’s an odd twist that I’ve been trying to understand. I’ve never successfully attracted any decent Christian women, but in high school and college I attracted a lot of wild party girls who knew I was a Christian (a Pentecostal at that!) Why is that?
Years ago I attended a church with many young single adult Christians. After services many of us singles would head out to a lcoal restaurant to socialize.
Unfortunately the Pastor then said > This church isn’t a meat market ! You guys better quit chasing these girls”
Well MOST of us guys were serious believers in Christ and except for only a few exceptions, we were not trying to seduce the women as many of the men and woman were intent to be abstinent till marriage as the bible says.
But who needs a church and a pastor condemning abstinent single guys for having sexual attractions ? I don’t wanna hear no spiritual guilt trips from the Pastor so I QUIT even looking to date any women at church.
Instead I started meeting single women to date on the street, at the store or on the beach and AVOIDED all problems associated with the politics of dating those in church.
It’s a real TRAGEDY when married church leaders make it difficult for single Christian men and women to meet, socialize and date one another.
My basic experience is this > Most churchs don’t give a rip about singles desires to meet, date and marry.
The pastors are usually always married so they do NOT care what happens to the singles !
God has a plan for everyone. And as long as you try your best to live a good life close to god he will take care of you whether it be in life or not. Heaven is beyond all of our imagination and it should be something that we all strive for because you only get one chance at this..
H. Mickey Gill
Nobody seems to be able to answer this question, but I’ll keep asking: What is the point of trying to find that allegedly special person when all this BS about romance is just another Hallmark inspired commercial fraud?!?
no this is not my email address
this will probably sound a bit shallow but ive been in the christain sceen my whole life. im only 22 but as a male im pretty shure no 5 on that list is probably the most important thing however christain girls just dont wanna be seen as stuck up so they say its not that important. to be blunt if your hot your wanted if your not then your not. you never see a goodlooking christain girl that stays single for very long and vise versa. Or a rich chritain guy for that matter. so in my experience get a six pack a good set of arms a bit of the other 4 numbers and your set. i mean comon if you wanna grow a young adults bible study a youth group or a church numbers wise get single hot christain chicks to attend and the guys will follow guaranteed.
”christians women and men only lip service by name only , in vain they worship god and preach doctrines of demons and live like the devil , ungodly =false ” christians 99.99% or more are fakes in wolves clothes and liars. they beliveth a lie and think they serve jesus and god but in fact another jesus and god -the devil’s jesus and god they made up in there carnal minds of wickedness sinful lives they serve -their deeds and works proof they are children of the devil. and yes you can be righteously judged -read the holy bible and live by (everywhere)by the spirit of god not want the heathen pagans of false christianity pick and choose how they want to live and do.hypocrites ,dogs and swine -pharisses.ungodly and sinners go to hell,and into the lake of fire . true christians do not date sinners nor live in sin – only the wicked and sinners are doers of such things. evil doers . true christians follow the real god jehovah and his son jesus and they are holy ,hebrews chapter 12:14 , 1corithians chapter 7:1 .etc…. many and mostly are false and on the wide gate to lake of fire .damnation
Christian women are no different than non-Christian women. They want the “bad boy” for exactly the reasons the article states. I saw it time and again in churches I have attended. Many of these women even married their “bad boy” and a few years later, it ended badly; one was even beaten to death by the guy.
Treat a woman with respect and kindness (or let’s just say as Jesus said we should treat everyone) and you will be forever labeled as a “wimp, wuss, pushover, weak, spineless, doormat, boring” and various other demeaning insults. The only “nice guys” who get a woman are the ones with large bank accounts and/or totally ripped bodies. The rest of us average guys are just left to rot; not even God seems to care about us.
I have always preferred nice guys. But the nice Christian guys always passed over girls like me for hot but shallow blondes. Why do Christian single guys prefer over-sexed bimbos David? It cuts both ways. A lot of wonderful Christian women I know were passed over by guys because they weren’t built like models, weren’t obsessed with clothes and makeup and talking a mile a minute about nothing (small talk.)
Guys don’t really want the Proverbs 31 Woman or Wisdom personified when they could date Folly–the hot blonde.
Btw, dropped out of dating long ago. Never was a hottie and I’m that unopened can on the shelf way past the expiration date. 🙂