Single moms have it rough. Christian single moms who are dating may have it even worse: Not only do Christian single moms have to deal with all the responsibilities that go along with being a custodial single parent, they also have to battle the stigma of being a single mom in the church.
Whether we admit it not, more than a few women in the church look at single moms (especially if they’re hot looking) with subtle suspicion. Translation: Is this single mom aka hussie gonna steal my man?
Does the single mom receive this kind of “Christian” reception because she may be divorced? Or is it due to the possibility that she had a child out of wedlock? No one knows for sure, but this is exactly why dating for single Christian moms in the church can be one of the touchiest of issues.
The following single mom dating tips can not only help you emotionally and spiritually, but will also assist you in meeting the right soulmate for you.
5 Tips for Christian Single Moms Before Dating
Surrender Your Dating Life to Christ
Many Christian single moms end up making horrible dating decisions because they exclude the Saviour from the equation. One single mother told me, “I would like to do this, but I’m afraid He may want me to be an old maid the rest of my life.”
Instead of doubting God’s provision, pour your heart, desires and dreams out to Him, and let him guide you in this area. He won’t let you down, mom. I promise. 🙂
Examine Your Own Heart
Before even thinking about dating again, take good long look at yourself and your situation as a single mom. Then ask yourself some difficult questions:
- Are there Biblical grounds for not entering a dating relationship?
- Do I still need some mending from a broken heart?
- Will my next relationship be a rebound relationship?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions you may want to rethink your dating aspirations at this time.
Find Your Target
Huh? As a single mom, what are you looking for in a man? After you’ve prayed and thought about it, make a written list of qualities (spiritual, emotional, physical) you look for in Christian guy. Why? Once you know what it is you are looking for as single moms, you can prepare yourself to fulfill your goals.
Keep Your Kids Safe in the Process
Most single moms make this their natural priority. How do dating single moms do this?
- When we are single parents dating with kids, it’s very important not to rush a relationship when neither you nor your children are ready. Reading all you can on this topic will help you in this area.
- Get your kids in a good Christian youth group, and join a good Christian singles group for your own support and guidance.
- Find a Christian church that preaches the Gospel, but does not make the kids or single moms feel guilty for not being in what they feel is a “normal” family.
Make a Plan
Make a plan based on your goal to meet that special man. Study where Christian singles meet other singles, and get ready to mingle. Keep all your options open along the way, and stay optimistic. The Lord is for you, not against you.
Are you a single Christian with something to share about single Christian moms.
Single Christian Parents
Dating After Divorce
Stress Reducers for Single Parents
I’m single with two boys. I am 42 and a teacher-asst for headstart working on my AA. My dream is to own my own night care for working parents on second and third shift. BUT MOST OF ALL I WANT TO BE A LIGHT OF HOPE FOR SINGLE PARENTS, THAT THEY CAN MAKE IT WITH GOD HELP
David Butler Author
Kandis, Thanks for sharing, and we will be praying for your dream to come true…
I’m a born again single mum to three children all under 8…And I’m 25! I wasn’t married to the father of my children and I left him as he was abusive. Phew lol!! Even though on paper my situation seems crazy, God has made my life and home one of love and laughter. I have had coucilling and was really happy just being with God. Then I met another Born again christian, who has been a great friend to me. We began to realise we have strong feeling together. He is extremely respectful and we have both obtained from impurity and share a similar view on life. He hasn’t met my kids or parents yet, but I am wondering for me what is the scriptural grounds to run this relationship. How long do we wait to be married, how do we conduct our relationship with the added complications? I pray alot about this and study the word, but I really don’t know anyone who can advise me about this. x
A man’s perspective:
1. Be a woman first, mom second.
2. Likewise when dating, show your date (who is aware of your kids), that they do not rule your entire universe (even if they do). He wants to feel appreciated too, not second fiddle (while on a date). Trust him to know your priorities. He is already willing to go out with you.
But guard your heart and don’t settle for someone who is merely “willing to go out with you”.
I’m a almost single mom whose husband walked out on our marriage for “vague” reasons. I am 30 with a 3 year old daughter. I know I need to take time to heal and work through these emotions, but I am also struggling with the fact that if I wait too long my daughter may never have siblings and so on. I just remember and remind myself every day that God’s hand is in my life and He will direct it the way it needs to go. If my daughter needs siblings God will provide them.
Also Pal…I agree. Moms (married or single) need to realize that they have to be an individual that is also a mom, girlfriend/wife, and whatever else you may be. You will never be able to let go when your children marry (as God commands us to) if you have made them your world/identity. But Pal, I disagree…NEVER think “at least they were willing to date me”…A guy is lucky to get a date with a self-sufficient single Christian mom. We are picky!