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Christian Singles Dating Unbelievers

christian singles dating unbelieversIf you are one of the many Christian singles dating unbelievers, save yourself additional troubles by getting out of the dating relationship as soon as possible.

At the very least, the vast majority of Christians who date unbelievers or unsaved singles experience loss of sexual purity, loss of fellowship with the Lord and other believers, and heartache.

Additionally, all throughout the Bible God warns us for our own protection not to partner (be unequally yoked) with unbelievers (ex.:2Cor 6:14). History is littered with the ruined lives of those who have failed to obey this command. If even Solomon, the wisest dude ever, screwed up in this area, why do Christians think they can love Jesus and maintain romantic relationships (dating, marriage) with unbelievers?

Because we were so interested in this topic, Christian Dating Service PLUS! did our own survey to find out why a Christian might consider dating an unbeliever or non-Christian.

Reasons Christians Give For Dating Unbelievers

“If I date them they may come to Christ.”

This old standby is known as Missionary Dating. The logic here is that the unbelieving single girl or single guy the Christian is dating may become saved through their witness. What fuels this popular rationalization is that in very rare instances, this actually does occur.

“My boyfriend (girlfriend) is more moral than other Christians I’ve dated.”

This sad commentary on the evangelical Christian church is in line with findings of Josh McDowell and George Barna that show there is no real difference in the sexual behaviour of Christians and unbelievers. For example, they find that 55% of Christian teens have sexual intercourse by the age of 18. We can only assume that this number rises as single Christians get older and have more opportunities.

“There are no available Christians in my church or area.”

We got this one a lot. Either all the good Christian men or women are taken, or the only available single ones are geeks or whackos. I’m sure you’ve met a few of these, right?

Christians Struggling With Dating Unbelievers

If you are a single Christian struggling with this issue, take courage! We are certainly not judging anyone because most of us have already been through it. Listen, the Lord deeply loves you, but wants you to make decisions that will make Him proud and prosper you at the same time. So think about and pray over the following points before making any dating decisions in this area.

God Keeps His Promises

That means He will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches. (Phil. 4:19, Psalms 37:4). Surrender to Him as you wait expectantly on Him. You will not be disappointed, but remember he makes things all beautiful in His time, not yours. Can you handle that?

Why Settle for Second Best?

Yes, there are some nice people out in the world who are more moral and cuter than some Christians you know. So what? The fact is there are multiple thousands of godly, attractive and passionate Christian singles waiting on God for the same thing you are. Got faith?

Remember What God Says

Don’t mean to be preachy, but I tend to conveniently avoid those parts of the Bible that go against what I am planning to do. So before going headfirst into a pile of crap, check out these verses carefully: 1 Cor. 15:33, 2 Cor 6:14-16.

Have You Exhausted All Your Resources?

Many singles in the church who feel there is no other alternative to dating an unbeliever, may have not looked at other options of where Christian singles meet other singles.

If you are a Christian single who has further insights on dating unbelievers, please consider helping other singles by sharing your experiences.

Related Posts:

Fears That Keep Women and Men Single

Christian Dating Service


  1. Nicholas Boissonneault

    Hey guys!

    Read through almost everyone of these posts. First off, we must understand and be empathetic for peoples situations. God is an amazing God. The life we live should always be to seek Him. I am dating a non-Christian girl who believes in God, but doesn’t seek any relationship with Christ. I went through a hard time of guilt from church members over this, but it wasn’t until I went to the Lord that I found peace, as always. I prayed for an opportunity to speak with my girlfriend about Christ. I have faith in my God and have faith that an opportunity will come forth.

    While I would recommend that dating Christians is probably best, I think with a strong faith and continual, daily, trust in God, dating non-Christians is not a sin. Marriage is another discussion. Dating is supposed to be the time where you figure out what you want in a partner, and if comes to be that you want a Christian, than you will figure that out. Have trust that God is working through everything in your life. His power is made perfect in our weakness.

    In love,


  2. Ophelia

    Hi,I’m dating a non-believer for almost 2 years now… We are living together and he even comes with me to church yet he STILL goes to his prayer (Tamil). I always tell myself that he will change and that I need to have more faith but it seems like the longer I’m in the relationship the more I see how much he loves HIS gods. I love him and his family has been a blessing to me and has never forced me to perform any rituals. My problem is that I don’t know if I should have faith and hold on n believe that his going to change or just let go… If I back out and if God put there for a reason then I’ll feel like I failed my mission.

    Pls help with advice!

  3. go2

    Well to Ophelia:

    You are going against God’s will by LIVING with and being with a non believer. You’re not dating him you’re living with him without the benefit of marriage.
    God didn’t put you there for a reason. Satan put you there for a reason. It’s easy to delude ourselves when the Bible is clear on this subject. I would check my own motivations for being with a non believer never mind Living with one or living with anyone without the benefit of marriage.

  4. Launeice

    Great advice, I dated an unbeliever for 7 years. I hoped he would accept Christ because he was a good man and I really enjoyed his company, we were best friends and I really loved him. However, there was always some level of guilt on my part because I knew what the bible said about being unequally yoked. Needless to say, the relationship ended badly because I told him I needed to move on for a number of reasons. But eventhough I ended the relationship, I still loved him and from time to time think about him. I know I made the right decision but it was one of the hardest decisions I could have made. I only wish I would have listened to my family and not dated him in the first place.

  5. laura

    I’ve been into a relationship with a man who does not believe in Christ. it was my sin and my fault because I knew I had to wait till marriage. the point is that he is my first and only man and we have been also into a physical relationship. now he is fine with me being a chriztian.and he would like to pursue the relationship even if he has Im scared and sad because I know marriage needs God to be.tied and healthy grow kids in the God’s word. even if Im not married I know before God we are one because of intimacy.
    Im scared. he loves me and treats me well. Im scared of hurting bad..Im also his first and only girlfriend. please I need a mentor. I need help. I dont know what I love God but got into a loving relationship I would not leave

  6. Daisy


    I am in a relationship with my non-believer boyfriend of six years. I had known him since high school and I made a vow to love him. During this time, I was already a believer in Christ, but I backslided and got confused. He treated me with love and respect (and always cave to my every wish) though I cheated on him once. I promised to marry him and yet I cheated on him. What should I do? I am very confused, what is God’s will for me by the way? Should I marry him or not? Even though I cheated on him, he still loves me and does not want to eat anything unless I stay with him. What should I do? Feels guilty and just returned back to Christ a couple of weeks ago from backsliding. Very confused, please help!

  7. Rafiqul Islam

    Hi I’m Rafiqul Islam. I’m from Bangladesh. And I living in Saudi Arab. I’m interested of Christian. But I’m a Muslim. I want to change my religion? What I need to do. Or if I change my religion? That’s time a good Christian girl Merry me or not?

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