Christian Singles Dating Unbelievers

I am 31 and have been praying unceasingly for God to provide a christian man to me. Recently I met a muslim man who seems to be everything I have ever prayed for except of cause he is muslim. should I establish a relationship with him or not. What would be the pitfalls of engaging in such a relationship.I just cant seem to find any christian guys around, I have waited, fasted prayed and with 32 peakin around the corner I’m just begining to lose faith in the whole waiting for the Lord game.

For all yyou people who are crying over where it my mate. Remember God is God and that he will come through for you you have to wait on him and be obedient. When I say He is God I am saying He can do anything He can change a sinner. But you must pray, trust and do what He tell us to in His Word. Stop dating the sinner and start praying for God will and no ours to be done. If the sinners in your life never come back and get saved they just were not the one for you and God has something so much better for you. You will be glad you didn’t end up with the people you are in the relationship with now. Trust God and take Him at His word.

Desejo manter correspondencia Biblica o que devo fazer? agradeço ajuda de vossa parte

Hey, this is Chris from the last post with an update. Well, I had been praying A LOT about my Christian best friend dating an unbeliever, and it turns out, she just broke up with him! She said she knew it wasn’t God’s plan for her to be unevenly yoked to an unbeliever.

That’s it
Take care
-C

You have to be weary. When people are in love or want somebody we can trick ourselves in to believing they are saved when there is no fruit. Ah! But we convince ourselves that the maggot ridden apples are good fruit – they are not. Be not deceived.

If we are seeking a relationship or are in a relationship with an unbeliever they often “get saved” just to stay with us. there motive for “coming to Christ” is not pure and is at its core selfish. The only answer is to get out of that relationship and flee from it.
Often we mistake God’s will for our will because it is convenient. Be not deceived.

Pray for that person but firstly you must break up with that person. Otherwise you fall under the worst sin of all – hypocrisy.

Its hard but God will heal your broken heart.

second best? who is to say just because they are christian they will further your faith or make you happy. you could be weary because its good to share common interests, but to leave somebody purely on the reason that they share different spirtial beliefs to you is absurd. Jesus spent most of his time being around sinners. God may have placed your bf in your life to strength your faith. or like so many stories ive heard, to witness to them and their friends. if you are in a happy loving relationship with a non christians, if it works, then stay with them.

This is the first place that I have been to that does not make me feel worse than I already do…so I will pour out everything here. Six months ago, I met a guy who was not a christian. I fell for him the first day I met him. He didn’t have to do much to get me, Just ask me out on a couple of dates. Before you know it we were boyfriend and girlfriend and were sleeping together. Almost as bad as not being a christian, he treated me awful. Now it has been about six months. I was writing in my Journal all along about what a bad idea this was, but i kept ahead with it. Now I am in love with him, but at the same time, know that it can’t work. I just recently stopped talking to him about 80 hours ago. I broke up with a christian before this non-saved guy who was just not on the same page with me, and was really upset about it and depressed. I had been celibate 5.5 years and was doing good presumably. I lost everything so quickly. I was (am?) trying everything to make it work. I don’t know why. It is as if something has taken over me. I went from being this confident leader in so many aspects in my church to this lump of a person who can barely see what God has for her anymore. I am about to start school and was blessed to have a full ride, but I am so mad that I don’t have/ can’t find a good mate for me. One who is a Christian, and who has it together. I am in my late twenties, and even though that is not old…I want to be married. I know that I can be alone, but I am so tired of being alone. I was not unhappy single, I just don’t want to be. I feel like God is playing some sort of trick on me. I am thankfully not too heart broken, but I am sad that I am craving this man, and not craving the Lord like I used to. I am so afraid of going to hell, that I am inching my way back…I just don’t want to fall again…it hurts badly and it is very scary. I don’t know what to do to stop the cycle. I am too afraid to talk to my friends from church, or even my pastor that I am close to and definitely not my mom or dad. I know it is a trick of the enemy but I am still scared. I am depressed, I cry all the time, I have thoughts about suicide a lot, and this was even before the sexual relationship– they have just intensified since then. Please help me. I don’t want to feel like this anymore…I want to be happy again. And I also want to get married soon, so that I can stop feeling like a big sinner. This is an area of pure defeat for me. I feel like I can control everything else, but not this. Every time I give it to the Lord, even after years, it comes back to haunt me. It is depressing me. I am not free. Please help.

I know actually what you are going through. I’m so tried of crying and being depressed. I’m 29 years old and I have never had a boyfriend. It seems that every guy i meet is only interested in one thing ( mostly unbelievers). It’s really hard to meet saved men my age. They are mostly married by my age. It seems the closer I inch towards thirty , my desire to be a wife and a mother is getting glimpser by the moment. The last guy i was involved with ( who claimed to be saved) only wanted to use me for sex and unfortunently i gave in ,but to only get hurt AGAIN. His ex -girlfriend moved in with him and he pretty much dumped me. The bad part is I found out I was pregnant when i had a miscarriage ( i didn’t even know i was pregnant). Of course , he didn’t believe me. Right now I’m on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds . I ‘ve even been hospitalized for depression. Right now I am tried and I’m now starting to believe that their no one out their for me because I’m so messed up in the head . Most importantly, I don’t trust God in this area of my life anymore. I feel completely hopeless.

Hello everyone. I just wanted to leave a word of encouragement to those who find it hard wainting for the right person from God. I am 34 and single, I have seen Him work mightily in other areas of my life and simply know that somehow, some day, he will provide.

I was once engaged to a girl who had some aspect of her character that were not compatible with a Christian lifestyle. I was aware of it but secretely wished that she would somehow change. I managed to convince myself that God has a plan for that, but I eventually came to face the truth and had to break up, leaving a lot of scars on both sides. I later realised that it is not honest to claim to love someone when you secretely wish them to change.

If we’re not comfortable with someone’s faith, then maybe we shouldn’t start dating them in the first place or see them as a possible recipient of our love. I know it is a tough decision to make because most of us want to have someone on our side to share things with.

If, as Kit is suggesting, we think it’s okay that they are not Christian, then maybe we seriously need to work on our own fruits of the Spirit. We don’t have to observe 2 Cor 6:14 because it will grant or maintain our salvation. We already received salvation by grace (Eph 2:8), but we must show ourselves worthy of it and demonstrate the fruit of salvation (James 2:17-18).

Waiting upon God is a fruit of the Spirit. They say “the choices we make determine the people we become”. Who do you want to become?

My name is monica and 20 years old and engaged. I was in storm for a while with my partner. We were fighting and arguing. Beacuse I was putting him first and not god, which was wrong. Things were really bad and i was feeling unloved and not cared for. I was getting bads thoughts in my head, I thought he was cheating on me and getting supions. It was getting too much. One of my christains friends help me to get right with god again. Now I put god first and then him things are looking up. I feel I don’t get as much thoughts now. I’m stonger with god then i ever been now i know i’m loved by god, because other humans will let you down but god won’t. I’m helping him who is god, but it’s quite had sometime because his got a stubborn spirit, he wants to know god then his dosn’t. I don’t what to do, I don’t he really love or just lusting. I need some advice. Thank you.

Hello all singles,
Well I am 31 years old and a believer who has been through the hurdles. I do ask myself the question why am I so desparate to get too intimate and sometimes I am eager to start or give unsave men a chance in my life. However the Devil doesn’t care who we are and endeavour to destroy us but I thank God for persons who encourage me along the way. It is always imperative to share these issues with someone who can provide spiritual guidance through Christ to help lead us back on track. God doesn’t want us to go back to the beggarly elements for we are bought with a price and our temple belong to the holy ghost. Therefore in all fairness may the Lord help us to wait because his best is yet to come. I remember when i stepped out of God’s will for the sake of having a boyfriend who was not a christian oh i feel like i didn’t want to loose him and sexual encounter was done but eventually I had to cut loose because it throw me offguard and I was totally devasted but to God be the glory who helped me to recover. Although I feel as if I am struggling with the flesh I know that God’s grace is sufficent to keep me. Singles let us save yourselves from unnecessary pain which come from impatience and desparation to get intimate. Stand firm. May God ever keep us holy until He is ready to disclose our mate or bless us otherwise.

RE: Rozetta

Not all nonbelievers will try to take your virginity away.
I am a virgin and girl i gotta say you seem like you ride your horse a little tooo high. YOu need to calm down there. You are no better than the unbeliever. God will look at you no different if you keep feeling as if you are better than them. If a man respects you it doesnt matter whether he believes or not.

This is a really random thing to do, but I am a non-christian girl in a relationship with a christian boy that is starting to struggle with my lack of faith. I came to this place looking for some insight, and am a little upset with the lack of tolerance for, and the way non-christian people are referred too. I dont want to corrupt anyone, I dont want to interfere with anyones commitment to God, im just in love. We are in love. I dont feel mature enough to commit to a belief system at this point in my life. But i dont want to lose him, he has inspired me to change, to look at my life differently, to be better. Im struggling for an answer.

Hello Jess,

You’ve have a huge choice in front of you if you want to keep him. He will get more distant the longer you are together if you do not at. Yes, you’ll have to FIND your beliefs and ask him to help you find what YOU believe in. If they are compatible then you have a chance at a future. There is no such age where you need a “belief system”…You are always living what you believe even if you can’t verbalize it. If you want to keep him , you’d better find out what the heck you believe in and learn to communicate that to him.

If you don’t, you won’t keep him. That is a fact in the long run. Don’t be put off by people’s insensitive wording, take the chicken if you will…

These are not relative “belief systems” to anyone who lives in them…they are fact…as much as gravity is fact to the science-only types.

hi lydi,

yes, i’ve been in the same experience when i fell in love w/a great man and he mutually was in love w/me as well. … but he wasn’t christian. in the beginning i made it clear to him that i would “casually date” non-christians but would never be exclusive w/a non-believer b/c that wouldn’t support my faith. i thought by stating that i’d be able to guard my heart, but i could not. basically we weren’t technically boyfriend & girlfriend, but in every way we were, waves of tension and anger about the situation would visit both of us. it caused us much anguish. i battled w/christian mentors about what that part of the bible really did mean- …”do not be yoked w/unbelievers”. my wise mentors knew that to leave it had to be MY choice and that i had to seek God myself and let the Holy Spirit guide my heart and mind. spiritually it was very clear to me and i felt to continue would not be in gods will for me. it was very very painful and still hurts when i think about it. but my choice, to choose god’s guiding, has really brought me closer to god and i do not doubt my choice b/c rather than taking someone elses answer i personally sought god out myself and have been given true counsel from Him. this is more concrete and was needed in order for me to face the pain of my heart. also, if you are a christian and have a relationship w/god, it is most likely that you would resent the unbeliever in the relationship b/c he is not your spiritual “leader” in the house and cannot share in the MOST critical relationship, the most satisfying and life-giving relationship. and there would be alot more tension accumulating with not honoring gods commandments- love the lord your god w/all your heart, mind, soul. i know it’s hard but the longer you wait, the harder it will be. seek god and ask him to speak to your heart and mind regarding the issue. that way it will be undeniable to you. god bless you and may his strength sustain you. your sister in Christ,
Jessie

Hey, I need help!!! I’m in a relationship with an Agnostic. We have been together for 4 months. Prior to that I just ended a 2 1/2 year relationship with someone in September. Because of that breakup, I found myself back on track with my faith and loving God more than ever. He has blessed me in so many ways with that breakup. Anyway, the guy I’m dating now, was a very close friend of mine, and we were on our college newspaper together in Fall 2007-Fall 2008 while I was still with my other ex. I made it clear many times that I would only date believers but he still persisted, like on Valentines Day, he left a teddy bear and a bag of Hot Cheetos (my fave. junk food) on my door, and I called and asked if it was him, and he told me to go outside and he was there playing a song for me on his guitar, and that’s how the relationship began. I went in that relationship thinking maybe he can come to Christ someday but he would tell me that he doesn’t think he could. Then a few weeks ago when the California Supreme Court rejected gay marriage, he was super-pissed and we were on the phone talking about it then started talking about religion, and he told me that he could never EVER believe in God or become a Christian, and that if he would ever go back to a religion, it would be Catholicism, which he grew up with. It really upset me and made me cry, because it tears me apart that he is not willing to have a relationship with JESUS, the BEST thing that happened to us humans, and God and Jesus are SOOOOO important to me, and I want to share that with someone, and it kills me inside that I can’t share that with him. He grew up in a devoutly Catholic family, went to church and did all those traditions, but as a teen started experimenting with all these other religions. He was at one point a Christian and believed in God, but never really felt His presence so strayed away because he never really believed. Then he became a hardcore Atheist, and it was only recently he became Agnostic. He says that one of the biggest reasons he stopped believing is because of prejudice against homosexuals in the church and anyone who isn’t a Christian (which is true a lot of times, but true followers of God will love and not prejudice). He also doesn’t want to view the world in one way, and thinks Christianity will limit him to that. He is very respectful of different beliefs though, even more so than other Christians, which I love about him. However, he says that if faith makes you a better person, great, but it’s not for him or everyone. And he thinks love is the only thing that matters in a romantic relationship (but God IS love!) Since then, I’ve been so conflicted. The longer I stay, the more and harder the Holy Spirit pushes me to break up with him because I’m seriously falling away from God. I really want out because I was so much happier single and I was on fire for the Lord. Now I still go to church, college group, small group, but I’m now always so hesitant because of the hints being dropped to me that I need to call it off. But I have so many fears in my head. I’m afraid of deeply hurting him, especially because he is kinda emo with low self-esteem and has never had a girlfriend before, and he will hate God even more . We also have so much fun and good times together, and we talk and connect in so many ways, but the fact he doesn’t have Jesus kills me and puts a thick wall between us. Also, he is actually more selfless and sacrificial than most Christians, and has done so much for me… we drove all the way from Sacramento where we live to SF to see my best friend and we dropped her off 30 minutes away from SF, and he did ALL of the driving. He got us tickets to see All American Rejects, one of my fave. bands, when I found out they were coming to Sacramento and wanted to go. He treats me soooo well. He will do anything for me even if I don’t expect or want him to. I’m also afraid that my friends, his friends and family, will be angry at me, especially his best friend who is a Christian, but she tells me how I’m sooo lucky to have a loving, caring guy like him, and that she would date him if she was straight. I don’t know, I’m just so confused, conflicted, depressed about it lately…I’ve told 2 of my best friends and a few people at my small group but I feel like I’m all alone, no one to turn to in this situation…and I feel super selfish and that I’m treating him like shit and disposable because of it, but that is not the case… I care about him but I don’t know that this can go any longer… I still wanna be friends but I worry that he won’t want to…

i have just split with my fiance who i was with for coming up to a year. i first meet him when i got a new job and he was and still is on the same team, so we hooked up and i made it clear i cant be with a non~believer and that one day i wanted to marry and have kids (he has two sons from previous relationship). so anyway he came to church and it was all going brill, really thought i had found “the one”, he would join in at church etc and stop going out drinking and stuff and had never been so happy in the whole of his life (hes 30) he said that and his family and friend said the same. we did get intimate and i did start to fall away from God and alway have on my mind that i would go to hell but i knew we were getting married and it would all turn out ok, pushing everything to the back of my mind. we got engaged booked everything i even got my dress for next year, then all of a sudend he just got down finished it with me for a day we got back together. he also started crying when i was talking about jesus and what hhe did for us. he then still went to church but started going out again with his mate, which i have never stopped him doing. well he split again with me a month later for about a month this time.he stopped going church with me, at which point i was falling from God only had him on my mind all the time and that i needed to have sex with him to keep him, be more worldy. we got back together again and deep down i knew it was wrong then he split again yesterday as he dont love me, dont want kids and he dont believe. i now feel a fool to everyone. i love this person more then anyone, he was my best friend as well as my lover, but i feel God took him from me for a reason, and i need to put \god at the centre now and learn from what happened, one day he may come to know the lord. I feel so lonely now and all i want to do is to settle down and have a family to card for. with his kids i feel i lost a family as well as just him. i know it gonna be tough but i will find strength,

if any body can help me out
please post

blessing

sue
xxx

I have just recently experienced a similar situation with an unbeliever who I shared a mutual attraction with. Because of the strong EMOTIONS & FEELINGS we shared for each other almost instanteously and his willingess to attend church, even get baptized, I mistook the relationship to be from the Lord. After dating for several months even with his being consistent in church attendance I never saw a genuine interest in the Word of God or the things of God, just church attendance. The lesson I have learned in this situation is IF IT DOES NOT LINE UP WITH THE WORD OF GOD, it’s not God, no matter how strong the emotions. We may not always understand the tryings of our faith or the things that we feel or why we feel them, but we can be assured that God does not contradict his word. Feelings change, but the word of God does not. If he says “be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers”, you best believe it’s in your best interest to obey & not question. If we always have to have all our questions answered before we will trust & obey God, we can be certain that unnecessary heartache & pain will be our experience. Save yourself a broken heart & take God at his word; understanding he’s not trying to withhold anything from us. He really does know what’s best. In the end you will see that!

I just got done dating a catholic. He believed in the Trinity, etc. but when I asked him if he was going to heaven, he said, “I’m a good person.” Over the course of the 4 months we dated, sarcasm came up. I started the relationship telling him I did not believe in sex before marriage or in dating an unbeliever, but he said he believed. We started to slip towards sex, and I told him we needed to slow down. And there were actually many times that he was the one who stopped things because he didn’t want me to feel guilty. But the sarcasm kept coming up. Three times, almost once a month. And each time I told him he was mocking me. And it hurt real bad, because Jesus is my life, he’s helped me so much. How do you explain that to an unbeliever, how can they share that joy with you? They can’t. He said he was sorry for being cynical, but he couldn’t mock if he believed. I would always wonder if he was just going to church for me, and how would he raise our kids. He wouldn’t look forward to going to Bible studies with me! But I was hoping he’d be saved. Well, we broke up. He ain’t going to church anymore. He ain’t changed. But it showed me WHY God doesn’t want us to date them. They are a curse to us, and we are a curse to them, straight up! Now that it’s over, I can see how I became more concerned about him getting saved and all the while I lost my joyful contact with God. Oh, I knew His will was NOT for me to be unequally yoked, but I was hoping God would change him for me, because God knew how much I wanted it. I didn’t break it off, because I felt foolish knowing the other person wouldn’t understand. But I had to go through this to understand why God says what He says. Hope this helps someone.

I started liking this girl thats an athiest, she doesnt understand why i told her we couldnt be together. Ive tried to explain it to her but its just not working. She says that i should be with someone who makes me happy, which she does. Ah so much. I dont know how i can explain to her why i cant be with her. I need help and guidence..because i feel like im getting angry at God because its so unfair, and it hurts so much. I am extremely discouraged and frustrated. I know im not supposed to date an unbeliever, but i want to know why..because i dont fully understand why christians can not? I mean i know its not a good idea and there could be some major conflicts, but i am looking for a straight reason to why God doesnt want believers dating unbelievers?

Thanks

Every Christian woman I have dated has forced me to have sexual relations with her. I’m afraid I have turned my back on God. Also they have all cheated on me or have cheated on their boyfriends with me. What am I to do? I keep praying but I think I’m ready to call it quits on God. I’ve been much happier before I turned to God. I’m tired of being judged by fellow Christians because I’m not good enough for you! You look and judge all the time, I hate it! Christians have hurt me more than any other “NONBELIEVER”, they accept me and take me in. Christians want me to hate myself before God will accept me, I call BS on that! Thanks for ruining my life and I’m certain there is no hell or heaven! FU!

Dear Daniel,

You are clearly very angry. You have run into some people that were not a good representation of Christianity. Anyone who has judged you is going against a very basic Christian principal. The only question I have for you is, if you feel so betrayed by Christians than why did you decide to come to a Christian website? I am hoping that the answer is that in your heart God has touched you. You can feel this and you are yearning to be close to Him. But you are finding it hard to reconcile. He is speaking to you. You have been chosen, and yet the people that you think are supposed to be representing Him have fallen short. Daniel, please do not give up. God is so clearly trying to reach you. He is knocking on your door, louder than most. Find someone to talk to. Don’t leave it to chance. Look online, talk to people. He is call you home. Don’t miss His call.

Jodi
Christian singles Blog Moderator

Irene, this is for you.. I feel bad that I came up to this website a little bit too late. I hope you can read me right now… God loves you much more than you can ever think.. It’s never too late for God. your time is not God’s time. Remember the promise God made to abraham? he had kids very late. Another thing Not everyone borns to have a family there is a reason for that too. Don’t forget what happened to Job. Job said the Lord gives the Lord takes may the name of the Lord be glorified.
He still praise God. No matter what happens You still not going to give up on your God. Please don’t think negative. This is exactly what the ennemy wants you to think. Repent on your thinking. Make a turn around with your faith. In your situation like that, if you keep up your faith by praising God Just like it is, there is a blessing in it. I will pray for you to keep your head up. NOTHING is impossible to God!!!!

Reading thru all the blogs I have so much compassion for both sides of the relationship. I know I have to press on with Gods word, God says to not be yoked unevenly, hes trying to protect our hearts because hes our Father….

I need advice:

I’ve been with a wonderful man for 14 months. He is incredible.
He prays to God and believes in Jesus, but he isn’t seeking God everyday. He doesn’t go to church very often. He is more moral and responsible than I am, which is an eye-opener.
I guess I worry that because he isn’t trying to seek God everyday and be a “man after God’s heart” that we are not meant to be. I am a sinner and not perfect by any means, but I do want to seek God and grow closer to Him every day.
I do have this idea in my head that I want him to change and become more of a seeker of the Lord. I wish he would have a loving, every day relationship with God.
Does loving someone and being in a relationship with them, while hoping they draw closer to God than they already are, fall into the category of being not really loving?
I just want God to be the foundation of our relationship and our lives, and right now we are each other’s foundation. I have just as much to work on as he does. But I worry that I have more of a thirst and awareness of the changes we need to make, whereas he’ll just go along with it for me.
I need thoughts and advice so badly.

We need to read through the old testament and take note of the many times God spoke to Israel concerning relations with the people of pagan nations and their beliefs. In every instance, the children of Israel left God and began serving idols of the pagan nations. Samson too, is a good example of what can happen when we enter into relationships with unbelievers. In his case we see he lost what God had given him. Samson was brought to an open shame before the philistines. However, Samson did repent.

Please let us not allow Satan to deceive and distract us from what God has for us. I speak from experience. Pray for that unsaved person before entering into a relationship that the may come to know Christ as their Savior. Put God first and allow Him to do the work.

Our love must always be for God first. Remember Satan is very crafty and can present someone to you that seems so right. But,
we must abide in God’s word so we will know what is from Satan and what is from God.

Proverbs also gives great illustrations about relationships with immoral women and the bad results of messing with such women.

I find his article extremely prejudice. I can’t believe such a big emphasis is made on people who go to church and the ones that don’t. LOVE does not care about religion or ethnicity. LOVE is a feeling and it cannot be explained or forced upon anybody just because of religion???? really??? I have dated both church and non church men and they were both wonderful people and family oriented. There is no such thing as salvation because you attend church just be a good person without expecting anything. Just be a good person because you feel in your heart is the right thing to do. Just be a good person because it feels your day with joy and someone will smile. Just be happy and enjoy life being a good person and not because you are expecting paradise after you die.

I am 54 now and wasted almost a year of my life dating an unbelieving woman. She totally deceived me initially, telling me she was a Christian. Then I discovered her idea of being a Christian and mine were two different ideals. She had no Christ relationship and desired none. She never ever read her bible… and only went to church a couple times with me. I really fell for her, but the Holy Spirit prompted me several times to get out of the relationship, but I kept thinking she would turn around. She didn’t and after months I realized I was losing my walk with Lord over this woman. Praise God I got out of that situation. I still pray for her and she calls occasionally, but I do not want to have any more to do with her. I was married for 24 years and knew my wife 30 years, before my divorce. I was devastated when my wife decided she wanted to “spread her wings” and live her own life. My ex-wife walked away from me and Christ and married an unbeliever, which is still difficult to fathom. I mean leave me if that is what you want, but leave the Lord? Anyway, it is difficult for me to meet Christian women and I pray God will bring a Godly woman into my life, however, I am content to stay single until His timing. Stay close to Lord and enjoy His joy while you wait. He will see us through all things. God Bless – Mark

Man I met a girl over the Christmas break. I was lonely and she was very persistent and beautiful. I knew enough about her to know that her way of life bothered me. But I felt VERY strong in God and felt like she would have no power over me. I was completely frigging wrong. I though we could just chill and nothing would happen. I fooled myself. Within a week I fell in love with her. The whole time I knew I couldn’t be with her so I was torn. I shouldn’t have got in the relationship in the first place… but I did. The moral of the story… don’t get involved with non Christians. Be patient. I know it’s hard. But it will be much harder to live with someone the rest of your life who you were never meant to be with. Straight up. I pray for everyone here. Stay strong. Blessings.

I dated a non-christian girl for four years. She is of taoism/buddisht believe though she didnt really practice it. On and off she will tell me that she went to temple or something that has to do with her believes, just to see what reaction I would give on the matter. I felt miserable evertime this was brought up. I could feel that I walked further and futher away from God. I tried to talk about what God’s love is about but she doesn’t seem to accept it. I decided not to commit myself in this relationship and so the relationship ended. I was devastated and still feeling the pain. At time I was just wondering if I made the right decision. Loneliness grips my heart. I regetted so much now I didn’t consider the point of not dating someone that does not belong to the same faith.

i come to this site seeking some anwers i have leant a lot.I met unsaved man last year in all human terms he looked like the answer to my prayers because i have been waiting on God for a partner. My biological clock is ticking very fast and i need to have a baby before its late.i gave in had sex with him .He seriouly want to get married.i want to settle down as well But i know in my heart it will be against God’s will,he says he is ready to get saved but i know he will be doing it for the wrong reasons which is to get married.
I have tried severally to break the relationship, i have even stopped all communication now.I miss him and i hurt a lot.Am scared i might not meet a christian man soon enough to be able to start a family am not young.Please encouage me and pray for me too.

Hi i just came and read this articles and been encourage!
Im a christian for about 10 years now, Im 29 years old and i only had 1 boyfriend and he is unbeliever. I met him online chat, get a long together and meet up personally. I been so decieved by his looks and kindness, to the point that i almost forgot i am a christian, we commited sexual immorality and a like. THen later on god put in my heart that all this things are wrong and againt his will. i realize then that im already making him my idol, Idol to the point that i put him first in everything that i think i cant live without him.
I also invited him to church and he said it is so loud there and not so comfortable, in that point holy spirit talk to me that he is not the right person. I really love him and so is he.. But god told me to let go on the things that hinders me to worship him. Later on i broke up with him and so sad that he never even know why i do that cause he never do anything wrong with me :(. ITs hard to explain to him that god told me so and he never understand. I really hurt him so bad but i obey god and after that god blessed me so much.. Now im leading small group of single ladies, youth and Kids (preteen), Serving at kids church and singing at worship. I never knew i will be in this position where i am now, Although i dont have any boyfriend now i am excited and trusting god that in my waiting he is bringing joy in my heart that i learn to be content in any circumtances…… ALL GIRLS THERE….IN your waiting=—-just do the things that god want you to do and eveyday he will surprise you little by little.. have courage 🙂

thanks
sandy

Most of us who find the Lord next struggle with the flesh and singleness and think the void and need can be filled by another human being…WRONG! God will never put us through that and actually we are being mislead in what it means to ‘seeking first the kingdom’ because our culture has dictated that we need someone to marry, especially since we are Christian…and that is WRONG teaching. God said ‘First seek the kingdom and all things will be added’. God has equipped His children with GIFTS AND TALENTS we are to develop and use for His kingdom. Marriage or finding a mate should NEVER be a BELIEVERS goal unless they are sooo out of control in the flesh that they just can’t control themselves. Then find someone and get married for it is better to marry, but you will have other challenges to overcome now with added pressures. I know that when I sought God to reveal my gifts and where He wants to use me to bring people to Him, ALL MY NEEDS WERE FILLED AND MY NEEDINESS VANISHED!!! God is a God of Power and Sound Mind and do not let our culture, or family or anyone dictate that a mere human being will be able to meet our fleshly needs. God has much bigger and higher plans and He has chosen to USE US to bring Glory to Himself. Think out of the box and conquer souls for His glory and ALL THINGS WILL BE ADDED TO YOU!!!

you guys are stupid to dump ur fiances because theyre non-xtians. they would love you more than anyone or thing because they dont have to love the xtian god. they would be better for the world and never ever EVER leave you for something so superficial. you deserve to be lonely and single if your gonna be so shallow and judgemental. enjoy being alone.

I love this guy that I have known for over 10 years (we’ve been friends for that long), we recently were reconnected after 6 years of being physically seperated. we started seeing each other again and have begun to get closer. The thing is is that I am a Christian and he is not. He has (on a few occassions) told me that he enjoys smoking weed, watching porn, believes that the Bible is just a book of stories, that he doesn’t go to church, and has this “thing” about religion (he has taken alot of what he has heard and formed his own opinion/beliefs). I know all of these things yet I still allowed my heart to go there for him.

He treats me very very well. I know that makes no difference but…I mean, I WANT him but I don’t NEED him. Today we had a talk about the future of our relationship and he mentioned that he wasn’t able to give me what I wanted (a commitment-why I still wanted one, I don’t know, I loved him). It hurt but at the same time I knew better than to want that anyway. He isn’t able to give me what I want/need because truthfully he isn’t even linked up to the Father so how would he know what I need especially spiritually.

I know I don’t need him, but I struggle with wanting to be with him. Sometimes I wonder if I could ever meet anyone that treats me the way he does, makes me smile as big as he does, BUT be a Christian! I admit, early on in our dating relationship I’ve called my self saying well I can get him to Christ. It didn’t work then, and he is still in the same place now. Though I know I shouldn’t be with him, I still pray for his soul. Because through it all he is still and will always be my friend first (dating or not)..I want to spend eternity with him..in Heaven. I want his soul connected with Christ before any and everything else. Who cares if we never become a couple, his salvation is most important… honest!

Now, God I just pray that you would help me to see and know that you want what is best for me, to give me what I NEED in a healthy, holy, happy relationship. One that is balanced, where I will grow and feel the extension of you through him. Heal my broken heart, dry my tears where I have cried myself to sleep at night because of lonliness, broken hearts, disappointment, and rejection. arrest these thoughts I’ve had of wanting to end my life because the pain of lonliness and rejection, heartbreak have been too much to handle. Fill me with you so that I won’t feel empty and search for people that don’t even like you or want to know you and be with. Open my eyes to help me to see my own beauty and worth. Help me to wait on you for the best. Help me to move forward. I need you God, only you are my life line. thank you for the best that is coming my way and the way of my brothers and sisters in Christ. In Jesus name, Amen.

Oh boy. I hardly know where to start.
I’m not going to say that “I’m a christian”, because sadly enough, that has become a very relevant term in today’s society. I’ve accepted that Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins, and that he wants to have a relationship with us. I try everyday to get closer to him. So in that context I am a christian.
I have been interested in a girl, that does not share my beliefs in life, for four years. The first year, I just secretly liked her, and we were just friends. The second year, I found out she liked me too. Two years ago, we started dating off and on. I kept on ending it because I knew what God’s word said about dating a non believer. The last time I ended it, we didn’t date again for about a year. Just after I ended, I started to fall away from God. I probably fell away from God before that, but after we broke up, I started doing things with other girls, non Christians as well. She kept hearing about the things I was doing, and this tore her heart out. Amazingly she still cared about me very deeply. Over the next year, I started to draw closer to Christ, and we still cared about each other, but were not in a relationship. About four months ago, it kinda started up again. This time we’ve talked about God a lot. She still hasn’t asked God into her life though. Over the last four months I’ve grown closer to God than ever. I know that God can do anything, so I just wish he’d work in her life, and that she’d come to him. My pastor, and a bunch of my friends keep telling me I should end it, but I’ve done it before on the same account that she’s not a christian, and i don’t think God wants me to do it again. I pray about it everyday. I have to go now, but I’d really apreciate some feedback. Thanks

DA, I’ll be praying for you. My advice for you would be to continue growing in your relationship with God. Make sure that’s the focus of your life. You should also offer the situation up to him if you haven’t already. God is amazing and has a plan for everybody. You have to be patient with him, and trust that he has a plan. Read his word whenever you have a chance!

i m in the same situation with u all….u r not alone. i m still struggle to get through it. i m still friend with my boyfriend ..but i haven’t seen him for three month now since we broke up. We still love one another n chat on messenger..i still can’t get over him yet.
When i was with him…my faith fall away from God..i have fear if i keep doing this…I will go to hell..suffer now for good in the future.I keep pray to God…if he is for me..one day God will bring him back to me with new him.
Be strong to u all….God has best for u all… Thank u

I dated a nonChristian for a little over 2 years before I ended the relationship. It was the toughest thing I think I have done in my 22 years old life. The worst part was I tried to maintain contact with my exgirlfriend and that caused so many problems. Continuing to talk like normal kept us from truly being able to move on.

I know that breaking up is hard to do, especially when you care deeply about the person. But honestly what it comes down to is the person doesn’t share your ultimate joy, that is God. As “compatible” as my ex and I were, she never would have been able to understand my joy and that inhibits two people from growing close together. It would be like someone who loved soccer (or anything really) so much that it was completely entwined in their life, dating someone who hated soccer. They would never be able to fully understand and appreciate each other.

Kim – I know it’s tough, but cutting off all contact is the best the thing you could do right now. That includes messenger, texting, etc. Once I finally did that, I soon stopped regretting and questioning my decision. It was like a giant burden had been lifted from me. You can do it!

Matthew 6:25-34 was such a great comfort my breakup. And over a year later, it still is. The Lord promises to provide us with the things we need. We’re told not to worry about what to eat or wear because God loves us so much more than birds and flowers, who don’t worry about such things. The only thing Christ tells us to do in this passage is to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. Although I sometimes miss having a dating relationship, I cherish so much more the improved relationship with God and feel tremendous bless because of it!

Mike, sorry about my english cos this is my second language .it’s true all what u said. i keep thinking n hoping he will change one day. At this time ..very hard for me to get back to God…cos my heart divide. When i was dating him…i could not come to God…i felt ..i m not faithful to God n disobedience. I didn’t do what God word to say.i can’t hardly to hear God voice anymore. it’s hard to become true christian.Satan knows well my weaknest point. There is so much i like to say here about my life journey before n after know the Lord Jesus Christ. He is always there n help me….the only thing when come to my own desire ..like this…i want to do my own way. i still love God n fear God…there for we broke up…but we still friends. Thanks for the scriptures, matthew 6:33. it always keep coming in my mind . I hope n wish to know u so we can share words one another. Thanks for ur advice. God bless every one here.

Lovlygirl,

I read and understand your situation well. I am a Christian man being raised Catholic and saved by grace through Christ Jesus in my middle 20’s. I have walked with the Lord for now 35 years.

The scriptures are very clear about being Unequally “yoked” with a NON-Believer. This means even thinking about dating NB’s much less having sex with NB’s.

I have been in many prayer meetings early in my Christian life where women were consistantly praying about their married situations. They started dating and falling in love with a NB, thinking he will get saved sometime after marriage (well, that’s up to the Lord). In most cases like this, the women suffer in their lives due to the fact that their husbands are NB’s…..and this is why the wives are in prayer meetings cring to God to help them.

Many women take chances in marriage. It doesn’t mean getting married to a Christian man, you will never have problems or divorce. But when you go against the word of God to begin with, you are asking for trouble.

Sorry to be so blunt, but these are the facts. Even Sarah had to wait a long time to have a baby. You may need to wait to get that Christian man ….. but the wait will be worth it!!

Tony

Hi, I have learned a lot today – received many wonderful advice. Like many others, I am currently in a very similir situation as well. I am a christian and I recently meet a wonderful man who is not saved. He grew up in the church but lost his way a few years back. This man has a good heart, goes to church – he is trying very hard to re-connect with the Lord again. I love this man because I see potential in him – so I encourage him and I have seen changes in him. He had a hard life growing up- so many people have disappointed him. He is now surrounding himself with christians and i let him know that God will never let him down and that he needs to trust God completely. Recently, I have been keeping my distance from him because I do not want to compromise and just really allowing God to work things out. I want him to fully commit to Jesus when he is ready for himself – I can only encourage him in the process and I don’t want him to do it for me but because he feels its the right thing to do.
I know we met for a reason and if nothing else happens, I just pray that this man will surrender his life to Jesus very soon. If this is the person for me then I strongly believe that God will work things out for good.

I crave your prayers,

Erica

I am still a male virgin @46. Waited all these years, got dumped by christian girls who had sex before marriage and ended up marrying and are now blessed and revered in church. Premarital sex obviously did the no harm to them, whilst my obeying God did me a lot of harm! I listened to the preacher, but those who did not are doing much better. God loves his people selectively, and I am one of those suckers he likes less, we obey him but he favours those who don’t. Pls. don’t preach to me, I want practical advice and no longer endless scripture which sounds right but yields no results over decades.

I was dating a saved guy for 6months. I am also a christian I believe that Jesus did die for our sins and only through him can we enter heaven. Me and this guy were introduced by a mutual friend we were talkn via BBM and phonecalls here and there. It was a long distance relationship. The 1st and only meeting we had I went to see him we had an amazing day and he treated me well. Fastforward the next month I was supposed to go see him I had bought tickets and everythng he cancelled on me cos he had church commitments. So I spent the day crying in my bed. The following month he was supposed to come see me and he said he forgot the ticket so he missed the train again stood me up. The following 4months it was always I can’t see you because of other commitments like family or church. I finally let him have it via a long text about how cold he was and how I was putting in all the effort which was true every month except the one he forgot the ticket it was me throwing tickets in the bin cos eveytime he would have an excuse of why he couldn’t see me. Long story short he ended it with me said apparently I was looking for the best n tht wasn’t him and it was over. Was I wrong to show fustration about not seeing a supposd bf for 6mnths he also hardly called main form of communication was text or bbm.

I was a christian when i started dating by husband who wasn’t a christian but was very God-fearing and quite supportive of my faith. He got baptized and after three years of dating we got married. Now after eight years am still happily married with two beautiful children ,thanks be to God, it could have gone the other way but God promises never leave us nor forsake us. Not because some one isn’t a christian doesn’t mean that they donot believe in God. When the right one comes along whether he’s a christian or not you will know, am sure many believers have date believer and the relationship didn’t work out as well. I think whatever situations we might find ourselves in we still need to let God be the captain of our ship as once we take our eyes off im we are going to sink.

i am having a relationship with a muslim right now..i’m having trouble to break up with her because she’s a really nice girl..she accepts me as a devouted christian and doesn’t care if i’m not a muslim..before i dated her, i prayed to God and red the Bible..somewhere at the new testament, i think it was Apostle Paul wrote it, “for those who have a wife which is a non-believer, don’t leave them because they could be a blessing to save her”..i don’t know if i’m getting it correct..so please help me realize what God really wanted to tell me..any comment would be a great help..thanks and God Bless us all..

I’m not sure how I came across this site, but have been mesmerized by these testimonies of pain, loss and healing.i can relate to many of you being a Christian woman seeing (falling in love) with a non-believer in Christ. I feel I was not a shining example of the Proverbs 31 woman. But I am convicted by the Holy Spirit to sever the relationship. This guy is God fearing, but not ready to call himself a Christian. He wants to study and get educated on other religions first in order to make an intellectual decision. I respect his thirst for knowledge, but as I told him, I couldn’t allow myself to be submitted to someone that didn’t know Jesus as his savior. He says I’m being close-minded and fanatical. I really want to be a witness to him, but feel I have done more harm than good at this point. But despite it all I have to trust that God has my/his best interest at heart. I just need to take that step of obedience and allow God to do things His way instead of trying to make things happen on my own.

Ugh! These posts are breaking my heart. I was married for four years to a supposed Christian. We just filed our dissolution papers today. He abused me in every way possible. Screeched about the Bible and God, then went out and got drunk, cheated on me with hookers and co-workers, and beat me up. I was lucky to get out, but my life is in shambles and probably will be for a long time. During the separation I met a very nice agnostic guy and he treated me well in every possible way. It was like I had found my soul mate. However I told him early on that I didn’t feel right being with a non-Christian and I had a teary break up with him. The next morning, he called me back up and said he wanted to make the relationship work and he said that he wanted to go to church with me every Sunday. I was so hopeful I thought things were going to work out for us, but after almost 3 months he said he didn’t think he was going to become a Christian, and he just couldn’t wrap his mind around Jesus, creationism, and basically everything I can’t imagine living without in spite of all of the hell I have been through. God convicted me and told be I would not be happy if I stayed with this guy, and I knew I couldn’t ignore that again. We broke up again, but for right now we are still maintaining a friendship. I have been praying night and day and am worried sick about him going to hell, whether I ever get back with him or not. My whole life I have only associated with Christians and I have been hurt by nearly all of them, guys and girls alike. I know how it feels to be betrayed by God’s people in His own house. But if I can help any of you let me just say that you should never ever be impatient with God. Let Him give you the best. Remain single, and have fun! Be happy! Enjoy time with your friends and family! Take up hobbies! Travel! It doesn’t have to be anywhere fancy, just enjoy time in nature. Marriage to the wrong person (being unequally yolked counts) is pure hell. You wish every day you could go back to being single. The sex isn’t worth it, and neither is the supposed companionship. God wants people to be comfortable on their own before he introduces them to the perfect one.

Hi,I’m dating a non-believer for almost 2 years now… We are living together and he even comes with me to church yet he STILL goes to his prayer (Tamil). I always tell myself that he will change and that I need to have more faith but it seems like the longer I’m in the relationship the more I see how much he loves HIS gods. I love him and his family has been a blessing to me and has never forced me to perform any rituals. My problem is that I don’t know if I should have faith and hold on n believe that his going to change or just let go… If I back out and if God put there for a reason then I’ll feel like I failed my mission.

Pls help with advice!

Great advice, I dated an unbeliever for 7 years. I hoped he would accept Christ because he was a good man and I really enjoyed his company, we were best friends and I really loved him. However, there was always some level of guilt on my part because I knew what the bible said about being unequally yoked. Needless to say, the relationship ended badly because I told him I needed to move on for a number of reasons. But eventhough I ended the relationship, I still loved him and from time to time think about him. I know I made the right decision but it was one of the hardest decisions I could have made. I only wish I would have listened to my family and not dated him in the first place.

Hi,

I am in a relationship with my non-believer boyfriend of six years. I had known him since high school and I made a vow to love him. During this time, I was already a believer in Christ, but I backslided and got confused. He treated me with love and respect (and always cave to my every wish) though I cheated on him once. I promised to marry him and yet I cheated on him. What should I do? I am very confused, what is God’s will for me by the way? Should I marry him or not? Even though I cheated on him, he still loves me and does not want to eat anything unless I stay with him. What should I do? Feels guilty and just returned back to Christ a couple of weeks ago from backsliding. Very confused, please help!

I don’t know what to do. My heart is absolutely breaking. My story is very similar, but also very different from many of these stories. Last summer I was really pursuing God, but got to my freshman year of college and got caught up in popularity and guys. I was with a bunch of different guys. However, I ended up actually meeting a wonderful young man. We got into physical intimacy way too soon, as I wasn’t following Jesus at the time. After six months, I knew God wanted me to stop having sex, so I told him. He does believe in God and Jesus, but he isn’t truly living for Him. His mom is very Christian and prays for him all the time. We broke up, and I wrote prayers for him every day. My whole outlook on life has changed. I started praying to God for divine appointments on campus, and broken people came to me and I witnessed to them about Jesus, using him in my testimony to other girls my age saying that God has someone for them that will wait and will love them. Two months we had no contact together. But then one day he came up to me in the campus center. And he sat down with me and said “Katie, I’ve heard you’ve used me in your testimony. The reason we broke up wasn’t because of sex to me. I am sorry I hurt you; I never meant to do that. I’ve been here without you for two months without sex and I still love you just as much as I did with it, so that isn’t factoring into it. I don’t want to be painted as the bad guy. I have never stopped loving you.”

He left and I sat crying there. Several days later I was outside at 11 at night on campus, writing and praying for a divine appointment. And exactly at that time he skateboarded by (he never is out at that time let alone in the exact spot I was). He said “I don’t know why I’m out, but I feel like I’m supposed to be skateboarding right now.” He sat down with me at the table and told me how much he truly loved me and cared about me. I’m thinking about possibly transferring colleges, but I’m still not 100% sure as I do feel that God is with me either way. Anyways, he said “I want you to follow the path God has for you. I care about you and love you deeply. God hasn’t called to me yet, but if/when he does I’ll go.” I witnessed to him about Jesus and the true sacredness of sex for over an hour, and he truly listened and sat. I explained to him that God is always relentlessly pursuing us; we need to pursue Him. He said he’s going to try to go to church this summer. He’s been praying and asking his mom to pray.

I called his mom and did very strong intercessory prayer for him. She cried on the phone. She said “I’m blessed that my son has someone praying so strongly for him. I feel such peace with you in his life. I don’t know if God has you as just a seed planter or an actual future permanent relationship with my son, but I love you and am so grateful for you.”

So he says he’s unsure about the wait for sex until marriage, and he’s scared of that commitment. I’m 19 and he is 20. I want to get married young. I’ll be a sophomore in college next year and he’ll be a junior in college. I still don’t know what I’m doing- I’ve had advice from Christian mentors to transfer to let him find God on his own, but I don’t think that should be a reason to transfer. I truly love him. He knows my boundaries. We have gone to church together before. It’s difficult because we both crossed the sexual boundary early in the relationship when I wasn’t following Jesus. I voiced my concern to his Christian mom about being unequally yoked, and she said “I’d really be wary or the judgment. He’s not an ‘unbeliever.’ He was baptized, accepted Jesus Christ as Savior, and attended Sunday School when he was young. He is a critical thinker. He may not be walking the walk right now, but I’d be careful using Scriptures out of context. He is loyal to a fault and he always fears disappointing others.” It really spoke to me when she said this. Now he and I are talking again. We have kissed, but we aren’t boyfriend and girlfriend. It’s a very difficult situation with a lot of mixed emotions. He knows where I stand now with God. He also said that sometimes I come across judgmental and too preachy, and he gets overwhelmed. And I realized this and truly apologized. He said “show people the love of Christ through your actions and peace in Him, not laying down all these rules on them right away.” And regardless of whether he knew it or not, the Holy Spirit was speaking through him to me. I have cried out to God for him every day. I’ve prayed for him every day, and am in touch with his Christian mother. I can’t leave him. I can’t do that, not after everything we’ve been through. And when I left he said he felt like he was turning from God because he wondered why God would have us break up. He knows God is there and he believes Jesus Christ is Savior, so he is saved. He’s just not walking the walk right now. He’s caught up in parties, drinking, swearing, and his rugby team. Yet there’s so much fruit in him. He’s not perfect; neither am I by any means. I still swear like a trucker if I stub my toe! But I see more fruit in him than any man I’ve ever known. He puts others before himself. He is truthful. He supports and encourages those around him. He tried to prevent a girl friend of his from dropping out. He’s had a very difficult college experience freshman year of college with a roommate on acid who tried to kill him and was arrested. He became depressed for a period of time and has body dysmorphia, even though he is extremely muscular and looks like Superman.

I am so torn. Christian mentors and people are telling me to not be with him (“unequally yoked”). But they don’t know the full story. They don’t know his life and his desires. I truly know God is calling out to him. His mom is taking him to a male Christian bodybuilder chiropractor this summer which I pray will become his mentor because he needs Christian men in his life. I agree that a lot of Christians are extremely judgmental towards people they assume to be or call “unbelievers” when they don’t know their hearts or lives, and saying this to someone who doesn’t have a personal relationship with Jesus actually makes them feel condemned and turns them away from God. Our job as Christians is to love EVERYONE. Please keep me and this man in your prayers and feel free to give any advice. Thank you!