There are Christian singles groups (although not enough) scattered all over the place. Yet, most Christian singles groups are not making a positive impact on the lives of Christian singles Since we believe singles groups have great potential to minister to singles, one of the goals of Christian Dating Service PLUS! is to help connect folks locally with a singles group.
Unfortunately, more and more single Christians report that they are simply bypassing the Christian singles group route entirely. Why is this the case? If you are a Christian single (whether a divorced single parent or never married college student) who has attended a number of Christian singles groups, you probably already know what I’m talking about.
Reasons Singles Avoid Christian Singles Groups
Singles Groups are Perceived as a Club for Losers and Desperados
As one thirty-something woman told me, “When you walk in you see a bunch of lonely people, which reminds me that I’m still alone and single as well. It’s Friday night, and we’re all together in the same boat. That’s why Christian singles groups are depressing to me.” Gee, what a downer!
Christian Singles Groups are Perceived as Meat Markets
The thought here is that since everyone who attends a Christian singles group is single, many from the opposite sex (one hopes it’s the opposite sex!) will be “checking people out” in hopes of meeting their mate.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with attending a Christian singles group, with one of the by products being finding a date. However, some single Christians who struggle with shyness or fear rejection or unknown situations, may perceive this scenario as threatening.
Christian Singles Groups are Perceived as Cliquey and Irrelevant
Very often, if a church has a Christian singles group ministry (and that’s a big if), they tend to lump together all singles into one group. What you’re left with is a Christian singles group with wild age ranges. So what does a 20 year old college student have in common with a 35 year old single mom? you guessed it, not much.
Additionally, what also usually happens in Christian singles groups like this is that the predominant age group starts to control the activites at the exclusion of the others. Feeling alienated and unwanted, the other singles not part of this group eventually leave.
The above are some perceived “failures” of Christian singles groups that often keep singles away. But what if you are a single Christian interested in being part of a Christian singles group? What are some positive signs to be on the lookout for?
Good Christian Singles Groups
A good Christian singles group should have the following components:
A decent Christian singles group should target singles by age and interest.
For example, a college and career single group, a single parents group and so on. Why is this? The more singles have in common, the greater the satisfaction and bonding. Of course, no one should be purposely excluded, which brings us to the next point.
A good Christian singles group is not ingrown, but has a plan for growth
There will be true warmth and friendliness between attendees and a welcoming attitude toward those visiting. This singles group will also be looking for ways to minister to the church and community at large.
A good Christian singles group is structured but flexible
There are regularly scheduled meetings that follow an agenda, but also allow for fellowship and informal mingling. The Christian singles group should not be dominated by one person (now that’s boring!), but encourage mass participation.
How to Improve Your Christian Singles Group Experience
If you are attending a Christian singles group, but are not satisfied, may we make the following suggestions:
Consider the spiritual and emotional needs of others before your own (Phil 2). Remember Jesus said it is more blessed to give than receive. By having this attitude in your Christian singles group, you will experience great blessing.
If you are seeking a date, remember that a Christian singles groups is only one place of several for this to occur.
Learn to be content in your present circumstances
Pray about starting your own Christian singles group. If you you are interested in meeting new singles, this is best way to do it.
Are you a single person with a different take on Christian singles groups?