Contentment in Singleness: Why You Should Avoid Comparing Yourself to Others

Contentment in Singleness: Why You Should Avoid Comparing Yourself to Others

contentment in singlenessAre you content in the single life? Do you compare yourself to others? Our podcast for the day is just on this subject.  Contentment in singleness is a real gift. So how much contentment do you have living this Christian single life? Does your single life consist of daily drudgery, loneliness and boredom, or do you live with joy and a positive expectation of what today may bring? If we were honest, most of us would say it’s pretty much a “mixed bag” of both extremes.

Contentment in Singleness Story

Recently I spoke with one of my single Christian friends. She stated earlier that day she had experienced lots of contentment, just lounging in her backyard, and worshiping the Lord for all the beauty around her. Yet, less than four hours later as she was walking on the boardwalk with friends,  and the mere sight of a dating couple walking hand in hand caused all that contentment to ooze out of her.

As my single friend recounted the incident she stated: “I immediately started getting these negative thoughts like, ‘What could he possibly see in her?’ and ‘It’s just not fair; when is my turn coming?’ I started the day in such a contented mood; I returned home that evening a discontented and depressed single woman, thinking I was doomed to be a childless old maid.” Does this sound familiar?

In the Scriptures Paul writes: “Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content”. (Phil. 4:11) Hello? The guy was in jail when he wrote this. Is that remarkable or what?

So just what does it mean to be content? The gist of this word means to have a sense of sufficiency and contentment with one’s lot, regardless of external circumstances. Wow! I wish could I could have the kind of contentment Paul spoke of, but too often I allow circumstances to choke it out of me.

Like my single friend with her story, many Christian singles, men and women alike, also tend to struggle in this area as they wait on the Lord for a mate. When we don’t see anything happening externally, we fret and worry. Yet, our Lord desires us not to react to every single twist and turn of life, but to proactively step out in faith, expecting His grace to be sufficient for us.

Contentment in Singleness Life Tips

If contentment is a touchy issue for you, here are some practical points that may help:

Don’t compare what others have, or what they are doing.

In John 21, Peter made this mistake when he looked at John’s life. “Hey, Lord, How about this guy?” Jesus’ response? “Don’t worry about John. You follow me.” When we stick close to Jesus and stay focused on Him, He’ll take care of our every need.

Be thankful in all circumstances (1Thes. 5:18)

It’s really simple: You can’t have discontentment and be thankful at the same time.

Remember, contentment in singleness is a learned response. (Phil 4:11)

It’s a mindset you need to practice, so don’t beat yourself up when you fall. It didn’t happen overnight for Paul, it won’t happen for you. It takes time to learn how to be happy as a single person.

Are you a Christian single with something to share about contentment and the single life. Help other singles by making a comment.


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    • […] What was refreshing about this most recent Christian Marriage was that the folks we married thoroughly enjoyed their single years. Sure, there were difficult and lonely spots, but both remained satisfied in their circumstances and thankful for their experiences. So, when the Heavenly Father provided that “good and perfect gift” in the form of a Christian marriage to a perfect soulmate, they appreciated it all the more.  To top off the celebration, the Bride and Groom ended their Christian marriage ceremony by singing the Third Day song, You Are So Good To Me. […]

      • Gerald Burris

        im a 34 yr old single Christian male who desires a wife and family. I’ve just broken up with this one girl and she tells
        me: “I’m breaking up with you because I can’t provide what you want and that is a family.” I thought this was an excuse but what can I do?
        She is with someone else now and I’m by myself again. I know what God’s Word says but sometimes its frustrating and then on top of that. I can’t see myself being celibate the rest of my life. I want to wait until God brings the right woman along but I’m not a eunuch.

        • Dione

          Wow, this is very informative and I thank God I had found this article to encourage me more become contented of what I am in right now. I am dating this guy for 3 years now on and off. I kept on breaking it off or mess it up coz I was being impatient when he’s going to propose… until this last time when I decided about improving my prayer time and focus in the Lord, rather than expecting my man to be with me and propose. I guess, God has a purpose for everything. Dear Lord, please help me to commit with you more and increase my faith everyday. Amen

          • Qui

            I thank God that regardless of our circumstance or feelings, He is still God and He still has the best in store for us. I am a single lady and a Christian and it is has been lots of fun as well as challenging/difficult living as a single woman in todays’ world but His grace is sufficient. I have learnt that the more I focus on God and less on how lonely/upset I am, the more I enjoy my life and life it to the fullest… which is really what God expects of me 🙂

            • W. Story

              Throwing my two cents in here, Part of the problem is that a lot of the jobs that are available, like the “service sector” jobs for young adults, are frankly monotonous, boring, and sometimes very drudgerous (apparently that’s a real word). Thus, people to some degree are right to feel that a large portion of their day is meaningless (not their life though. That would be existentialism). If you’re going to college and working, it’s a real pain because not only do you have the often demanding or rude customers and monotony to deal with, you also have school work and have to try not to notice all the people around you having a hedonistic joyride you can’t take part in, not to mention the lack of significant, unstressed free time. Am I thankful for the things I have? Yes, but the above are some significant caveats or hurdles to my and others’ thankfulness.

              • Ekong

                We should all come to God without pretence. He knows us too well a.nd will allay our fears

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