Older men dating younger women have a lot of stigmas associated with it. If you’re an older Christian man dating a younger woman, people may look at you as a “cradle robber” or “dirty old man”. A younger Christian single girl dating an older guy may be thought of as “a gold digger. Are you a single Christian man or woman thinking about dating someone older or younger than yourself?
Many Christian singles are confused over the issue of dating someone outside of their own age group. It’s no wonder since some Christians actually teach that it is unequally yoked to marry outside of one’s age group. I suppose these are some of the same folks who taught the same about interracial dating.
Although dating older men or women is not unbiblical, there are some things you may want to carefully consider before taking the plunge. We are assuming if you’re a Christian you are dating with the intention of finding a marriage partner. After all, that should be the ultimate goal of dating, right?
Biblical Precedence for older men dating younger women
Age disparity in relationships is not a new concept, even in biblical times. Ruth and Boaz are notable examples. Ruth, a young Moabite woman, formed a bond with Boaz, an older, respected man of Bethlehem. Their relationship was founded on loyalty, respect, and shared faith, rather than mere physical attraction or convenience.
Understanding the Attraction
1. Maturity and Wisdom: Often, older individuals possess maturity and wisdom that comes from life experience. They can offer guidance, stability, and a sense of security that is sometimes hard to find in peers of a younger age.
2. Spiritual Growth: For Christian singles, spiritual maturity is paramount. Older men might have a deeper understanding and commitment to their faith, having walked longer with God. This spiritual depth can be a strong attraction for younger women looking for partners to guide them in their own faith journey.
3. Shared Values: Contrary to popular belief, age does not necessarily dictate values. But often, older men, having navigated the complexities of life, have a clearer sense of their core values, many of which resonate with younger Christian women.
Addressing the Concerns
Age-gap relationships, while having their benefits, also bring forth certain challenges.
1. Different Life Stages: Couples might be at different points in their life. While the younger woman may be exploring career options, the older man might be thinking of retirement. These differences can impact life decisions like marriage, starting a family, or relocation.
2. Social Perception: Society, including some church communities, may frown upon or fail to understand the dynamics of such relationships. It’s essential for the couple to be grounded in their faith and find strength in their shared beliefs rather than external validation.
3. Health and Longevity: With age comes health issues. Younger women need to be prepared for the potential health challenges their older partners might face and the possibility of a shorter shared lifespan.
7 Tips for older men dating younger women
If you are a younger Christian woman considering dating an older man, or vice versa, here are some guidelines to ensure your relationship is rooted in faith and genuine love:
1. Pray for Clarity: Always seek God’s guidance. Pray for clarity and discernment to understand if the relationship aligns with God’s plan for your life.
2. Focus on Shared Faith: Ensure that your relationship is built on a shared foundation of faith. Age should not be the predominant factor, but rather the mutual respect and spiritual connection you share.
3. Seek Counseling: Consider pre-marital or relationship counseling, preferably with a Christian counselor who can provide insights from a faith-based perspective.
4. Open Communication: Address concerns about age differences openly. Talk about potential challenges and ensure you’re both on the same page.
5. Be Prepared for External Opinions: Remember that everyone will have an opinion. Stay rooted in your faith and prioritize the health of your relationship over external perceptions. If you are in one of these outside-the-norm dating relationships, you and your partner should candidly discuss possible reactions you may get from family, friends, and church members. Dealing with this potential threat proactively may save your relationship from unwanted stress and strain in the future.
6. Test Your Compatibility Level: Although it’s true that opposites attract, it’s those who have a lot of common middle ground who stay together happily ever after So discuss your ‘game plan” for life with your older or younger dating partner. Are you seeking fame and fortune? Kids? How compatible are you with your older or young date? It’s so important to know where each other stands on important issues, before diving into a serious relationship
Older men Dating Younger women Conclusion
Older men dating younger women is not just a societal trend but a relationship dynamic that can be as fulfilling, challenging, and complex as any other. From a Christian single’s perspective, what’s paramount is not the age difference but the foundation of faith, mutual respect, and love. Always lean into God’s wisdom, ensuring that the core of the relationship is a shared spiritual journey, making it both rewarding and blessed.
Are you a single Christian who is in a relationship with an older or younger person? What do you look for in a Christian dating relationship? Do you have a different take on dating older or younger people? What in your mind makes people attractive to each other? Help others by sharing your thought here.
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2 Comments
Hopeful
I really like this older guy. I am 18, he is 36. He is a Christian, I am a Christian. I don’t know if he likes me, and I don’t want to go about this all wrong. Unless he likes me, which I do not know, this is all one sided. I am not sure if I want to keep this one sided if this will not go anywhere. What should I do?
Mauricio
I have a friendship with an 18 year OD girl that I don’t have with anybody else and we’re both Christian. She encourages me to be a strong Christian and she leans toward hanging around the older crowd. I’m 26 am a worship leader and have stayed away from dating for the last three years. She read “The Five Love Languages” and was dead accurate about mine, she continues to purposely do things to make me feel loved in a way that nobody else does. I already get weird looks when we hang out but knowing that her and I have a Godly friendship gives me peace of mind and confidence that I’m doing nothing wrong. I’ve prayed about it and I’ve felt the lord’s peace.
dude
There is evendince in the Bible, younger men with older women. I dont agree with the quote about equal yoke. It doesnt mean age. If that was true everyone is in trouble. Maturity is not a number. I’ve have had the indirect comments made by others as I walk by. But as a Christian you will be persucted no matter where you go or what you do. All in all, your motives should be to keep Jesus in the picture