Desperate Dating for Christian Singles

Desperate Dating for Christian Singles

desperate christian single datingAre you a Christian single dating a desperate person? Are you a Christian desperate dater? Some single Christians seeking a true love relationship, sometimes are tempted to practice what we call “desperation dating.”

This can occur for a number of reasons. Some singles do so out of loneliness and a lack of contentment. Some others see their friends getting married off and become afraid of being alone and single for the rest of their lives.

Desperate dating is not cool because more often than not, desperate dating ends in painful disaster for the Christian single. On top of all of this, a desperate dater is simply unattractive to the opposite sex.

The journey of Christian singlehood often encompasses a range of emotions — from joy and self-discovery to loneliness and the desire for companionship. In today’s digital age, where dating apps and websites abound, there’s increasing pressure to find “The One.” It’s not uncommon for Christian singles to fall into the trap of desperate dating. But what is desperate dating, and why should it be a concern?

What is Desperate Dating?

Desperate dating can be defined as pursuing or staying in relationships out of fear, pressure, or loneliness rather than genuine mutual interest, connection, and aligned values. It can manifest in various ways: continually lowering one’s standards, ignoring red flags, or persistently pursuing someone who has clearly expressed disinterest.

For Christian singles, the idea of waiting on God’s timing can become overshadowed by the world’s constant noise of needing to find someone now. But aligning our dating lives with our faith means recognizing the perils of desperate dating.

Why is Desperate Dating Problematic?

  1. Compromising Core Values: When desperation takes the wheel, we may find ourselves compromising core Christian values. Instead of seeking a partner who shares our beliefs, we might settle for someone whose values don’t align with ours.
  2. Ignoring Red Flags: Desperate dating can often lead to ignoring or rationalizing glaring red flags in a partner. This could lead to being in a relationship that’s harmful or lacks mutual respect.
  3. Loss of Self-Worth: Desperate dating can erode our sense of self-worth. We begin to believe that we must be in a relationship at any cost, leading us to tolerate behavior that we otherwise wouldn’t.

Pursuing Relationships with Faith and Patience

Christian singles can navigate the dating world without succumbing to desperation by grounding themselves in faith and patience.

  1. Embrace Singlehood as a Season of Growth: Recognize that singlehood is not a “waiting period” but a season of personal growth. It’s a time to deepen your relationship with God, pursue your passions, and understand yourself better.
  2. Be Clear About Your Values: Before diving into the dating world, clarify what values are non-negotiable for you. Seek a partner who shares these values. Remember, it’s better to be single and aligned with your beliefs than to be with someone who constantly challenges them.
  3. Seek Godly Counsel: Lean on friends, family, and church leaders for guidance. They can offer perspective, ensuring you’re pursuing relationships for the right reasons.
  4. Trust God’s Timing: Instead of feeling the pressure to rush, trust in God’s timing. The Bible reminds us, “For everything, there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1 NLT). This includes dating and relationships.
  5. Prioritize Emotional and Spiritual Health: Before seeking a relationship, ensure you’re emotionally and spiritually healthy. A relationship should be an addition to an already whole life, not a solution to loneliness or insecurities.

The Role of Modern Technology

The rise of dating apps and websites offers Christian singles a plethora of choices. But with choice comes responsibility. Instead of using these platforms out of desperation, they can be tools to meet like-minded individuals. Choose platforms that align with your values, and always prioritize safety.

Desperate Christian singles Dating Signs

Do you exhibit signs of a desperate dater?

  • Dating someone outside of God’s will. For example, dating an unbeliever.
  • Settling for someone with qualities you would never even have considered a year or two ago
  • Changing or compromising your beliefs likes and dislikes only to please your dating partner
  • Needing constant reassurance from your date that you are worthwhile

If you display one or more of these signs, you are more than likely a desperate dater. Most Christian singles who are into desperate dating have somehow gotten their priorities out of whack. What is the remedy? As my one Christian friend used to say, you can’t be dating desperately and waiting on the Lord at the same time.

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