The term ” do not be unequally yoked” might sound archaic to those not familiar with its origins, but it’s still relevant, particularly within the context of Christian dating. Stemming from the Bible, specifically 2 Corinthians 6:14, the phrase reads: “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?”. In contemporary language, this relates to forming partnerships with those who don’t share the same faith and values. We have a whole article about Christian singles dating unbelievers right here.
In the realm of Christian dating, the concept of being “yoked” refers to two people being bound together by shared beliefs, values, and life goals. In this article, we will explore the deep-seated implications of being unequally yoked, as well as the signs that show you are equally yoked with your partner.
1. What Does It Mean To Be Unequally Yoked?
The analogy of being “yoked” refers to two animals, like oxen, tied together to work in tandem. If one ox is significantly stronger or taller than the other, it can cause imbalance, making the task more challenging. The yoke, designed to distribute weight evenly, becomes a burden instead.
Similarly, in a relationship context, especially in Christian dating, being unequally yoked implies a mismatch in core values, beliefs, and priorities. It’s not just about two people having different faiths; it could also be the difference in their spiritual maturity or dedication to their faith
Signs of Being Unequally Yoked
- Different Life Priorities: If your partner places importance on worldly pleasures while you prioritize your relationship with God, it’s a significant indicator of being unequally yoked.
- Lack of Spiritual Support: If your partner doesn’t support or participate in your spiritual journey, it can create a void in the relationship.
- Conflict in Core Beliefs: Disagreements over fundamental Christian doctrines can be a clear sign. These differences might include views on salvation, prayer, or the role of the church.
Signs of Being Equally Yoked
- Shared Faith Practices: Both partners actively participate in faith activities, whether it’s attending church, Bible study, or praying together.
- Mutual Respect: Despite differences in personal beliefs or interpretations, there’s mutual respect without any attempt to change the other’s convictions forcefully.
- Unified Vision for the Future: Both individuals have a clear and shared vision of their future together, keeping their faith at the forefront. This includes decisions like raising kids in the faith, tithing, and serving in the church.
- Spiritual Accountability: Both partners hold each other accountable in their spiritual walks, ensuring they both maintain purity and a close relationship with God.
- Peace: One of the most telling signs is an overwhelming sense of peace about the relationship. When God is at the center, and both partners are working towards His glory, there’s a divine harmony that exists.
For further signs of a healthy Christian dating relationship go here.
In Conclusion
Being equally yoked is about more than just attending the same church or believing in the same God. It’s about depth, commitment, shared vision, and mutual growth. While differences can enrich a relationship, core disparities in faith and values can lead to challenges.
For Christian single women and men, it’s essential to assess and continuously re-assess the spiritual health of their relationship. If you find that you’re unequally yoked, it doesn’t automatically spell doom for the relationship. It calls for open dialogue, prayer, and guidance from trusted spiritual mentors.
Remember, a relationship centered on God and grounded in mutual faith isn’t just about avoiding the pitfalls of being unequally yoked. It’s about building a strong, enduring, and spiritually enriching partnership that can withstand the tests of time and life.
11 Comments
Kitty Lee
I too am in your exact position and my boyfriend wants me to really think about the fact that I may resent him one day. I love him and he is perfect for me in every way except that he too is the type to need proof. He is fine with me raising our children to learn of Christ but it is not something he wants in his life now. I think that is mostly due to the disappointment of some churches to his family members that were in need. I try to explain to him that we are all sinners and even church officials sometimes do not do right by God and that he should not blame that on God, He is stubborn and I know I have to accept that he may never come around but I know that he wants me to be happy and would never tell me what not to believe. So now he has asked me to really think things through to see if we should continue. I don’t want to be guilted into anything even by the bible. I pray and so far I have no doubts that we should be together.
Rose
This is for both of you. I was save 2003 and I was dating this guy in college for 5 years. I prayed and prayed asked for several signs for us to be together…I wanted to break it off but I loved him so much. God told me from the beginning that this guy was not for me….and i had to suffer the consequence…when i could have broke it off early on…for both of you if you guys do keep the relationship you guys are in now it might be hard to raise children with Christian foundation especially if the male who is suppose to be the head of the household is not in support or is helping you to do so,
James
Mam, I have to remind you. The second verse starts out saying do not do it. Then it says if you are already married. Do not divorce.
With that Said I want to encourage you to get with a group of real praying believers and pray for him. If this is desire is so firmly in your heart. Keep him continually lifted up before the throne.
My little sister, I have made the same mistake so many times. Just now the Father has brought a woman in to my life. Who truly is my other half. Her very love of him makes all the other times ( I KNEW) pale. My hearts unspoken desires are hers. One of us can be speaking of some long awaited dream. The other can complete it.
This is not to compare necessarily. It is a reminder. All who had come before where just shadows. SHALOM
Leilani
Hey girls,
I juts wanted to share with you what I have learned about being in an “unequally yoked” relationship. One thing to keep in mins is that the only way to TRULY know how to love someone, is to know God. I have found this to be an extreme truth. It wasn’t until I really experienced and embraced all the love that God has for me, that I was able to share that love with someone else. The same goes for al people. It is impossible to have a true love for someone unless you have experienced true love yourself.. and true love IS our Father. If you are in a relationship with an unbeliever, it is impossible for him to love you (with that true, perfect, never ending love) if he himself has never experienced that love from Jesus. I know movies and books can totally twist all things about what “love” even is..It is not a feeling, it is not butterflies in your stomach, but it is exactly what God says it is.
..”Love is patient, Love is kind.. True Love Never Fails.”
-1 Corinthians 13:4
**Also, the Bible says that it is the man who is to be the leader of the house one day, It says that he is to give up his life, just as Christ did for the church, purifying the church and making it whole. How can a non believer carry out this command? A non believer can not lead you in your walk with Christ…something that every girl needs (being that we are the weaker vessel) 🙂
with much love -Leilani
ashley
Leilani i believe you have a lot of wisdom in what you say.
I broke up with my long distance boyfriend recently, but we still talk to each other, and really, there is no big difference in our phone conversations. We are friends with “potential”.
The thing is, he is an athiest. he says he believes in some God actually, but he knows nothing about the salvation of jesus Christ.
I wonder so many times….WhY did God bring him into my life!? Why did i meet him!? it has to be for some purpose. Is that purpose to test me? To see if i really DO love God? or am i supposed to plant a seed into this guys heart?
I keep thinking i could fall in love with this guy. i don’t want to let him go. As a senior in high school, i still have a lot of years ahead of me though (Lord willing). And i want the man i marry someday to truly love God and to truly love me. Love is so important. And i pray that God will show ME how to love so that i can love my future husband as well.
I WANT TO ADD SOMETHING! =D..
Psalm 9:18 says “Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.”
i have no idea how my relationship with my “potential ” boyfriend is gonna work out, but i trust that God will guide me into His perfect will.
That’s the beauty of life with Christ! You don’t have to have all the answers!!!!!!!! =D God reveals His will to those who are obedient to Him and to those who love Him.
I’m just thankful right now that this boy IS in my life, and I know that God loves him.
Im talking too much=P BYE!! Thank you. <3
betsy
To all those beautiful young ladies who so desperately want to be in love and be loved completely and purely…I’m in agreement with the other comments about why you shouldn’t be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. What most don’t like to hear is what the enemy is trying to do with you being unequally yoke. The enemy is slick and has a ton of patience…he wears a mask in so many ways because if he just comes out and shows his real face to you in the beginning then he knows you will recognize him. Although the enemy was quick at deceiving Eve…he appears to us in so many different ways and I assure you he is not in a hurry. The longer he can deceive you the more pain he will cause you.
Maybe my story will help…the enemy deceived me into believing I could change a persons heart….I thought his heart was moldable by me!!! I married him had 3 beautiful children by a man that didn’t have a commitment to my Lord and Savior…I literally went through hell on earth…after 10 years of marriage…seeing affair after affair…being the only spiritual leader to my kids…watching my chidrens hearts be crushed by a painful divorce…BEAUTIFUL YOUNG LADIES…it isn’t worth it. The deception from the enemy comes in all shapes and sizes but his ultimate goal is to steal kill and destroy you and your relationship with God. He doesn’t care how long he has to wait for your destruction. When the Lord put His laws down for us to follow…they were not mere suggestions…they are commands because our Father is wiser than the enemy. He has an amazing destiny for you and all we have to do is cling to His commands and wait patiently on HIS perfect PRINCE CHARMING. Thankfully, I have that now…but oh the pain I had to endure to get here. God wants His plan for you but He allows us to make choices…we can choose life or death…HIS plan vs. OUR plan
John
To all of you folks, I too had fallen for an unsaved person, I was an avid church goer and participated church functions. She came to me like an angel of light ! In the beginning everything was great. The I let her move in, then trouble really started, she took my money, was having an affair, would leave then come back, I took her back she left again, then I found out that she was a practicing Satanist, in my so called christian home, turned my crucifix upside down and thought it was funny. well she left again , now living with 2 guys in a deviant sexual lifestyle. Obey God, and live.
John
continued: My life has been turned upside down, the pain , suffering, loneliness, as I have never had and I’m 49 yrs old. I lost my blessings that God gave for being obedient, The heartbreak, all because I disobeyed, over and over. Friends, please understand I prayed to God for a companion, somebody else was listening as well, one guess ? Satan, you see God wasn’t ready for me to have an relationship at that time. Satan knew I was lonely, and he snared me, I was thinking it was from God ! God doesn’t send us evil or lure us into a sinful life . God Bless all you.
Dani
Wow this is such a confirmation! I rarely go on gmail and usually pass over these emails.
I too am with a Catholic man with high morals, very respectable and kind, treats me great(I mentioned one food that I like and he immediately gave it to me when I saw him the next time.)
He’s very attentive. He even came to church with me but not sure if he’s trying to please me or just wants to come. Maybe I’m a seed planter. Ashley I ALSO wonder why God put him here randomly and if it’s a test. But I know what I need to do now. I’ve actually known since the time he contacted me.
I’ve been a Christian for most of my life(backslidden here and there)and started a singles’ ministry at my old church. For 7 years I ‘preached’ and taught about being unequally yoked and for no single person to settle for less than God’s best. I’m in a new season now and not leading it anymore but NOW look who’s in that predicament! Ashley I can really relate(other than the fact that your b/f is an atheist(???)to you and have the same exact questions. But reading this post has been an answer to prayer. I’m def not good at breaking hearts. I’m usually on the end of it. Praise God for his confirmation AND encouragement here tonight:-)
Teresa
In reference to both e-mails by these young ladies, please do NOT be deceived. God is not a god of confusion. He has a will for each of your lives. Wake up and do not forsake your lives for someone who is unequally yoked and doesn’t know who Jesus is. You are the Christians here and it would behoove you to drop to your knees and pray and ask God what is His will for your lives. It is NOT that YOUR will be done, it is HIS will be done. You are playing with fire when you decide to think carnal-minded. You have the perfect born-again spirit of Jesus Christ living on the inside of you. You can either believe what Jesus says about your life or believe an Unbeliever and a Satanist…come on…are you really that naïve? Decide who it is that you want to please…man or God…it’s just that simple!
timmy butler
Thank you for sharing