Early dating mistakes. We’ve all made them. Dating, dear friends, is like stepping into a dance floor for the first time—terrifying, exciting, and prone to the occasional misstep. Now, if you’re a Christian single navigating this world of modern romance, the stakes may feel even higher. You’re not only trying to find someone who makes your heart sing, but also someone who shares your faith, values, and, ideally, will accompany you on Sunday mornings (without too much grumbling).
But hey, before you write that biography on the “perils of dating as a Christian,” let’s talk about the funny, heartwarming, and yes, entirely avoidable early dating mistakes Christian singles often make. Mistakes are part of the journey, but if we can laugh through them and learn a thing or two, we’re well on our way to love—and maybe even that long-awaited church potluck date. ?
1. Bible Verse Overload
It’s wonderful that you love the Word—don’t get me wrong! But if your opening line to a potential match is, “Hi! I’m Beth. Psalm 34:8 speaks deeply to me,” you might accidentally sound more like a devotional app than a real person. ??
While Bible verses can inspire, conversations should feel natural. It’s okay to bring up faith, but maybe hold off on the scripture marathon until the second or third date, when it feels organic. Otherwise, you might leave your date wondering if there’s going to be a quiz at the end of dinner.
The Fix: Start with shared interests. Find common ground, and let your faith show naturally—like icing on the cake, not the whole cake itself.
2. Going Full “Proverbs 31” or “Boaz” Checklist Mode
Ah yes, the perfect man must be a “Boaz,” and the ideal woman must embody every trait from Proverbs 31, down to the vineyard. Spoiler alert: Neither of you is going to show up perfect, vineyard in hand. ?
Sometimes Christian singles fall into the trap of treating dating like a scavenger hunt for the perfect spiritual partner. But if you’re obsessively checking boxes—Does he lead devotionals daily? Will she sing on the worship team?—you might miss out on the beauty of getting to know someone as they are.
The Fix: Instead of focusing on perfection, look for progress and growth. We’re all works in progress, right? Even Boaz probably left dirty dishes in the sink sometimes.
3. The “Too Soon” DTR Conversation
Defining the relationship (DTR) is important. But not… on the first date. Or the second. Or sometimes even the third. Picture this: It’s your first coffee meet-up, and you’re already plotting out future Bible studies and arguing over whose church to attend. Slow down, friend. You barely know what kind of latte they drink.
The Fix: Give it time. Relationships grow best when they’re not rushed—kind of like that sourdough starter you promised to nurture during lockdown but forgot about after three days. Let conversations flow naturally, and before you know it, the DTR will happen when both hearts are ready.
4. Praying Too Loudly… in Restaurants
Prayer before a meal is a wonderful habit. But there’s a thin line between heartfelt gratitude and the kind of loud proclamation that has everyone in the Olive Garden thinking they’re about to witness a revival service. ?
It’s great that you want to pray together. Just… read the room. Not every moment requires a 5-minute invocation—especially if the breadsticks are getting cold.
The Fix: A quick, sincere prayer will do just fine. God knows what’s in your heart, even if it doesn’t come with theatrical flair.
5. Accidentally Scheduling Every Date Around Church Events
While there’s nothing inherently wrong with inviting someone to Bible study or the church picnic, if every date revolves around a church event, you might give the impression that you’re dating them solely for their small group attendance record.
It’s wonderful that faith is central to your life, but don’t forget to show them you. Do they know your favorite movie? Or what you love to do on a Saturday that doesn’t involve folding chairs and hymnals?
The Fix: Balance is key. Share both your faith life and your personal life. Remember, relationships thrive when we let people into the fullness of who we are.
6. Over-Spiritualizing Every Decision
“Should I text her back? Or is this a sign that I need to wait on the Lord?”
“Is he ‘the one,’ or is this just the enemy trying to distract me?”
Over-spiritualizing everything can paralyze you. It’s totally okay to pray about your dating life, but if you’re waiting for a burning bush to tell you it’s time to ask someone out, you might be waiting a while. Relationships involve faith and action. God gave us free will for a reason!
The Fix: Pray, yes. But don’t forget to act. It’s okay to take chances, make mistakes, and learn along the way. God can work through your decisions—even the awkward ones.
7. Expecting Instant Revelation
Christian dating sometimes comes with this unspoken expectation that you’ll just know right away. Like, there will be a heavenly choir the moment you meet, confirming this is your future spouse. ? Spoiler: That almost never happens.
Expecting instant clarity can put unnecessary pressure on you and your date. Relationships are a journey of discovery—sometimes messy, sometimes awkward, but always a process.
The Fix: Relax and enjoy the journey. Trust that God is guiding your steps, even when the path isn’t clear.
8. Introducing Them to Your Pastor Too Soon
Look, introducing your date to your pastor is a big step. It’s not quite like meeting the parents, but it’s close. While your pastor might be thrilled you’re dating, your date might not be ready for the third degree about their spiritual habits. (“So, tell me—what’s your stance on eschatology?”)
The Fix: Save the pastor intro for when things get more serious. Until then, focus on getting to know each other without the added pressure of spiritual authority figures looming over your relationship.
9. Ignoring Red Flags in the Name of Grace
Christians are called to be loving and forgiving, but that doesn’t mean ignoring red flags. If someone isn’t treating you with kindness and respect, it’s not un-Christian to walk away. Forgiveness is important, but so are boundaries.
The Fix: Pay attention to actions, not just words. A healthy relationship will reflect the fruits of the Spirit—like kindness, patience, and self-control (yes, even during traffic jams).
10. Forgetting to Have Fun
Sometimes Christian singles get so focused on finding “the one” that they forget to enjoy the process. Dating doesn’t have to feel like a job interview or a theological debate. It can be fun, lighthearted, and filled with laughter.
The Fix: Don’t forget to laugh. Enjoy the funny, awkward moments, and embrace the joy that comes with new connections.
Final Thoughts
Dating as a Christian single can feel a bit like a rollercoaster—full of highs, lows, and the occasional unexpected loop. But it’s also a journey filled with grace, growth, and plenty of learning along the way. Mistakes are part of the process, but with a little humor and a lot of faith, you’ll navigate the dating world just fine.
So go out there, enjoy the journey, and remember: God’s got this. And if all else fails… there’s always the church potluck.
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