Dating as a Christian single can feel like a tightrope walk over a very full baptismal pool. On one hand, there’s the deep desire for companionship and marriage; on the other, a host of creative excuses not to even try. If you’ve ever heard—or used—these excuses, you’re not alone. Let’s unpack them with a wink, a nudge, and a little encouragement.
1. “I’m waiting on the Lord’s timing.”
Ah, the gold-standard excuse. While waiting on God’s timing is essential, sometimes it feels like a polite way of saying, “I’m too scared to put myself out there.” Trusting God doesn’t mean waiting passively. Remember, Ruth wasn’t sitting in her tent hoping Boaz would show up—she went out into the fields!
2. “I need to focus on my relationship with Jesus.”
It’s a beautiful sentiment, but let’s not forget that relationships are part of life’s journey. Building a strong foundation with Christ is essential, but it doesn’t have to exclude opening your heart to someone else. Besides, wouldn’t Jesus cheer you on if you found someone who loves Him as much as you do?
3. “I don’t want to settle for less than God’s best.”
This one sounds ultra-spiritual, but let’s be honest—it’s often code for an impossibly high standard. While it’s important to have values and non-negotiables, “God’s best” might not look like a rom-com hero who leads worship and cooks gourmet meals.
4. “I’m pursuing my calling right now.”
Your ministry or career is thriving, and dating feels like a distraction. But maybe your calling could include a partner who encourages and supports your goals. Who says you can’t build the Kingdom and a relationship simultaneously?
5. “There are no good Christian singles left.”
Oh, the drama! While it might feel like the pool is small, especially if you’ve been burned before, chances are you’re not the only one feeling this way. Expanding your community, trying new activities, or even—gasp—joining a dating app can broaden your horizons.
6. “I’ve been hurt before.”
Heartbreak leaves scars, and it’s natural to be cautious. But holding onto the past can keep you from stepping into the future God has for you. Healing takes time, but love can be part of that process when you’re ready.
7. “The dating world isn’t biblical.”
Sure, modern dating has its quirks (hello, swiping left and right), but every era has its challenges. Relationships have always required discernment, effort, and grace—whether you’re meeting on Instagram or at the village well.
8. “I’m just not ready.”
This one’s fair—until it becomes indefinite. There’s wisdom in taking time to heal, grow, and pray, but readiness doesn’t always come with a flashing neon sign. Sometimes, taking a step of faith is the nudge you need.
9. “My standards are too high.”
This excuse is often said with a hint of pride, but let’s unpack it. High standards are good, but unrealistic ones? Not so much. Expecting your future spouse to have every fruit of the Spirit, a six-figure salary, and abs of steel might be a tad much. Grace, folks. Grace.
10. “Dating is a distraction from eternity.”
It’s true that eternity matters more than temporary pleasures. But relationships, when done right, can be a beautiful way to reflect Christ’s love. Marriage isn’t the ultimate goal of life—but it’s a sacred way to live out your faith.
11. “I’m too busy with church activities.”
Between leading small groups, serving in kids’ ministry, and organizing mission trips, there’s barely time to breathe, let alone date. But what if your next coffee date was someone who shared your passion for service? You might just find a partner to stack chairs with after events.
12. “I’m scared of getting it wrong.”
Perfectionism strikes again! Relationships can feel high stakes, but love isn’t about flawless execution. It’s about growing, learning, and relying on grace when things get messy. Besides, God works through our mistakes, too.
13. “I’m waiting for a sign from God.”
Let’s face it—some singles want a burning bush-level sign that they’ve found “the one.” While discernment is important, God often speaks in quieter ways. A kind word, shared laughter, or a mutual love for Psalm 23 might be all the sign you need.
14. “I don’t want to lose my freedom.”
Dating and marriage often come with the perception of “losing” independence. But a healthy relationship doesn’t take away your freedom—it enhances it by giving you someone to share life with. Taco Tuesdays with friends? Still on the table.
15. “I’ve got too much baggage.”
Everyone has a past. The beauty of God’s love is that it redeems, restores, and refreshes. The right partner won’t just accept your baggage; they’ll help you unpack it with grace.
Why These Excuses Deserve a Second Look
At their core, most of these excuses stem from fear—fear of rejection, vulnerability, or messing up God’s plan. But here’s the truth: God’s love casts out fear, and His grace covers our missteps. Dating is less about finding perfection and more about seeking someone to walk this journey with you, flaws and all.
Encouragement for the Hesitant Heart
If you’re a Christian single with a list of excuses longer than your grocery list, remember this: God’s timing is perfect, but so is His ability to guide you when you take a leap of faith. Whether that means signing up for a dating app, saying yes to a blind date, or simply being open to the possibility of love, trust that He’s got your back.
And who knows? Maybe your next “excuse” will turn into a hilarious “how we met” story for the ages. ??
Christian Singles Advice
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