Fear of Commitment and Men

Fear of Commitment and Men

Do you know a Christian single guy who has a fear of commitment? The following “defeating fear of commitment tips may help you cure that commitment phobe:

1. Do not rush him into a serious relationship with you. The more you push, the more he will pull away.

2. No matter how much you may love spending time with your man, plan a little away from him every now and then. Having this separation can give him time to realize how important you are. Remember that old saying, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”.

3. Leave small reminders of yourself around his house. Do not go over board and leave so much of your stuff at his house that he start feeling like you are trying to force your way into his house without his permission.

4. If you have not heard from him all day, do not sit around waiting for him to call you. Go out and do something, this often helps guys realize that you do still have other things going on in your life.

5. Remain as aloof as possible about your future together. Men are so used to having women bombard them with questions about where their relationship is headed that they find it refreshing when you seem not to be too interested in settling down.

6. Remember to tell him every now and then how much he means to you, but make it special. Telling a man everyday that you care about him has a way of cheapening how you feel about him.

7. If you get the opportunity to meet his family, do not put yourself forward as the possible future in-law. Getting the family to like and respect you for who you are is an important step. If they think you are pushing your way into his life too soon they will become a barrier.

8. There is a delicate balance that you must learn to keep between maintaining your independence and being part of a relationship. Make sure that while you still go out and do your own thing, every now and then let him know that you also want to spend time with him.

9. Be respectful of his friends and his time with them. All boyfriends have that one friend you wish they did not hang out with, but pointing out his flaws over and over again is only going to drive a wedge between the two of you, and not him and his friend.

10. Let him do the chasing. Men value women they chase more than those that chase them.

Remember, commitment is not only a problem for males; females can experience female commitment phobia too!



    • Traci Toguchi

      Thank you for the great tips!

      Totally agree with #10.

      Totally. 🙂

      I just blogged my thoughts about the concept of commitment and how it translates to being transparent…

      • Advocate4Good

        An interesting topic, ‘The Fear of Commitment’, where understanding its ramifications is much deeper then most are willing to delve into. For those who are mature, ready and understand the provisions of God in marriage, it can be a wonderfully blessed union, but without the knowledge and application of God’s principles found in the book of Deuteronomy chapters 27-30, it will indeed prove to be a slippery slope at best. This union created by God for man will require sacrifice and obedience from both and held accountable for the vows made unto God. You will either live in the blessings of the union or you will live in the curses by your own disobedience, the choice is yours, as God will not be mocked.

        People today are unaware of the tethered consequences of past relationships where sex was involved, added to that, personal baggage, which may or may not have been dealt with. This too will have its own problems in effecting the relationship. Is it any wonder people are afraid to commit? Most people today are without the knowledge of how to live in the blessings of God, but generally find themselves living in the consequences of their past.

        Infidelity stems from the root of lasciviousness or moral corruption, which is also passed down to as many as four and even ten generations. This too must be dealt with prior to marriage, if there’s to be fidelity in the relationship. You must break the curse of all past soul ties and iniquities, practiced sin, which is a destroyer of marriages. I’m not trying to advertise here, but I suggest getting familiar with the many books offered by Pastor Jimmy Evans, who teaches exactly what people must have to be successful in their commitment of marriage. No need to test men, simply ask God and wait on his choice with instructions and he will indeed wonderfully surprise you, if a believer. However, if you choose to go by the wisdom of man or worldly wisdom, which omits godly principles, you risk missing it entirely. If our relationship is right with God, he will bring the right person into your life and from there, you can help each other grow into your purposes.


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