Holidays, Singles, Aloneness and Depression

Holidays, Singles, Aloneness and Depression

Are you single, lonely, and just dreading the upcoming holiday season because they are depressing? If you are in this category of being single and hating the holiday season you’re not alone. The following was recently written by a Christian single woman contemplating another Christmas being single and alone:

“I just want to ask for your prayers. I am a born again Christian and have been for almost 10 years. I attend church regularly and have a relationship with God inside and outside of church. I am a born leader and have spoken to many singles for the past 5 years about the advantages of abstinence and how God desires us to wait until we marry to have sex. I have encouraged people and helped many of them to stop fornicating, with the Lord’s help.

“I feel like the first two years of my abstinence was a struggle, but with God’s help I have been pretty strong for about 10 years. Now that year 10 is upon me, I feel so weak.

I am not in a relationship right now and havent really had one in 10 years because once guys realize that sex isnt part of the relationship, they first try to convince me that it is not a sin and then when I don’t give in they leave. Some of them have even tried to talk down to me stating that I am going to grow old and alone because of my choice. (these are “Christian” guys saying this)

“I’m tired now. I love God more than anything and I don’t want to disappoint Him, but I am getting older and I have such a desire to love and be loved. I play the role of a happy person, but I am not happy at all. Don’t get me wrong, I still have joy because God has been so good to me, but I’m not happy with my current status.

“I cry every night because I am lonely. I ask God to hold me and I do feel His presence, but the desire for companionship is still there and is still strong. I’m not going to sleep with anyone because I would prefer to have love than lust for someone. I was also hurt enough in the past to know that sex does not mean love and it does not make a man stay with you. I have asked God to take my desire for sex and a relationship away. I try to stay busy so I won’t think about how alone I feel, but nothing is working…..I guess the thing that bothers me is that I dont ask for a lot. I’m not a user, I don’t take advantage of people, I’m not looking for riches, fame, fortune, or material things.

“I just want to be loved by someone who isnt bound to love me due to them being a family member or friend. I want to be loved by someone who gets to know me and sees me as someone worth loving. The thought of spending yet another Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentines day or birthday alone is starting to be too much to bare. Watching all of my nieces and nephews as well as my cousin’s children grow up is a blessing, but it also reminds me that I have no children of my own.

“I’ve tried refocusing. I read my word as well as other books. I watch many ministry videos and/or television shows that are rated PG. I love to laugh so I watch as many comedy shows as possible.

“My heart hurts so much and I feel like no one really sees me. I sometimes ask the Lord “Lord why hasn’t my husband found me.” “when you created me, you made me for someone, didn’t you?” “you put the desire in me to take care of others, to be a nurturer and here “I am in my mid 30’s with no children and no husband.” “I know Paul stated that he wishes everyone would be like him, a single person focusing only on building the kingdom and I want to help to bring souls to you, but I don’t want to be single like Paul the apostle.”

“The Lord hasn’t really said much to me about this. I know He hears me and no matter how long it takes, I will wait on Him because He knows best, but please pray for me. Pray for peace of mind for me and I’ll do the same for you. My friends say that they pray for me too.

“I have had so many people come to me and say that they think I would make a great mother, but they don’t know anyone that they feel would be good enough for me. I guess that should be a compliment, but it doesn’t feel much like one. Bottom line…..I don’t want to feel this loneliness anymore and I really need God to restore my heart and my faith in relationships. Sorry so long, I knew I needed to write something but wow! I wrote a lot.

God Bless,


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