A lot of singles write me wondering how to deal with sadness. I understand. It doesn’t always feel comforting when you’re alone on a Saturday night with nothing but a tub of ice cream and your thoughts. And when the holiday season rolls around? Oh boy, bring on the awkward family gatherings and unsolicited questions about your love life.
But here’s the good news: sadness is not your permanent roommate. With a little faith, humor, and practical action, you can navigate this season with grace (and maybe even some giggles). Here’s how.
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
First things first: It’s okay to be sad. Yes, even as a Christian. Jesus wept (John 11:35), and so can you. Pretending everything’s fine when it’s not is like trying to baptize a cat—it’s messy and ultimately unhelpful. Take your sadness to God in prayer. He’s big enough to handle your raw, unfiltered emotions.
Pro Tip: Journaling your feelings can be incredibly therapeutic. Plus, it gives you great material for your future bestselling autobiography.
2. Laugh a Little (Or a Lot)
The Bible says, “A merry heart does good, like medicine” (Proverbs 17:22). So, find something to laugh about. Watch a funny movie, binge Christian comedian John Crist’s sketches, or try to recreate that Pinterest-worthy nativity craft that inevitably ends up looking like a toddler’s art project.
Laughter won’t erase your sadness, but it’s like taking a coffee break from your emotional storm—it gives you strength to keep going.
3. Surround Yourself with Community
Being single doesn’t mean being alone. Get plugged into your church’s small groups, volunteer teams, or that mysterious “young adults” ministry that always seems to involve dodgeball. Building strong friendships can fill your life with love, encouragement, and people who don’t judge you for eating cereal at 11 p.m.
Holiday Hack: Host a “Friendsmas” celebration where everyone brings a dish and shares their favorite Bible verse. Bonus points for playing charades with nativity-themed prompts.
4. Reframe the Holidays
The holidays can feel like a neon sign flashing, “YOU’RE STILL SINGLE!” But instead of viewing them as a countdown to awkward mistletoe moments, see them as an opportunity to reflect on God’s love. Remember, the Christmas story is about the ultimate gift—Jesus, not a significant other.
Practical Tip: Create new holiday traditions. Bake cookies for your neighbors, organize a Christmas hymn karaoke night, or volunteer at a soup kitchen. Shifting your focus to others can fill your heart in ways no Hallmark movie romance ever could.
5. Take Care of Your Temple
Feeling sad often means neglecting self-care. But Paul reminds us that our bodies are temples (1 Corinthians 6:19-20), so treat yourself with kindness. Go for a brisk walk while listening to worship music, try your hand at cooking something other than ramen, or get that fancy bath bomb you’ve been eyeing.
Taking care of yourself physically can have a ripple effect on your mental and emotional well-being.
6. Practice Gratitude
When sadness clouds your heart, gratitude is like opening the blinds to let the light in. Start a gratitude journal and write down three things you’re thankful for each day. Even on tough days, there’s always something to celebrate—like the fact that you didn’t trip over the church pew this Sunday.
7. Be Open to God’s Plan
Singleness is not a punishment, nor is it a holding pattern while God preps your future spouse. It’s a season to grow, explore, and discover who you are in Christ. Remember, even Paul—who wrote the most iconic advice on singleness—was more focused on his mission than his relationship status.
Fun Challenge: Write a letter to your future self, detailing all the amazing things you’re doing now. Seal it and read it a year later—you’ll be amazed at how much you’ve grown.
8. Let Your Light Shine
Sadness might make you feel like hiding under a rock, but Jesus calls you to be a light (Matthew 5:14-16). Whether you’re singing your heart out in the church choir or simply being a kind presence at work, your joy and faith can inspire others—even when you don’t feel 100%.
Bonus Activity: Make a playlist of uplifting worship songs to remind yourself that God’s got this (and you).
9. Lean on Scripture
When you’re feeling low, dive into God’s Word for comfort. Verses like Isaiah 41:10 (“Fear not, for I am with you”) and Psalm 34:18 (“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted”) are balm for the soul. Consider memorizing a few to have on hand when sadness creeps in.
10. Remember, You’re Not Alone
One of the greatest truths of the Christian faith is that God is always with us. So, even when you’re scrolling Instagram and it feels like everyone else is posting engagement photos, remember: you are deeply loved by the Creator of the universe.
And let’s be real—half those couples probably argued about whose turn it was to take out the trash before snapping that photo. ?
Final Thoughts: Singleness, like every season of life, has its ups and downs. But with faith, community, and a little humor, you can navigate it with joy and purpose. Who knows? This season might just be the one where you draw closer to God and discover strengths you didn’t know you had.
So, go forth, laugh a little louder, love a little deeper, and live a little brighter. You’ve got this. And if all else fails, there’s always chocolate.
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