Ah, the life of a mature Christian single! It’s a landscape filled with coffee dates that feel more like job interviews, family gatherings where everyone from Grandma to your seven-year-old niece is keen to play matchmaker, and sermons that gently (or not so gently) nudge you toward marriage. If you’ve ever felt like an extra jigsaw puzzle piece at a family game night, rest assured—you’re not alone. Let’s navigate this season with wisdom, humor, and most importantly, hope rooted in biblical truths, and a little old-fashioned self-care!
1. Embrace Your Unique Season
The Apostle Paul had something radical to say in 1 Corinthians 7:7-8: “I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.”
Wait, what? Paul, are you telling me singleness is a gift? Like socks at Christmas? Yes! But unlike socks, this gift has hidden perks. Singleness offers time, flexibility, and the ability to serve God in unique ways without the added responsibilities of marriage. It’s not a consolation prize—it’s a divine assignment.
Tip: Instead of focusing on what’s “missing,” focus on what’s present. Build skills, deepen friendships, and most importantly, strengthen your relationship with God.
2. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Oh, the temptation to compare! Every time you see another engagement post on Instagram, it’s easy to spiral. But here’s the truth: Comparing your life to others is like comparing apples to watermelons. Your journey is unique, crafted by the ultimate Creator.
Psalm 139:14 reminds us: “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
Instead of envying others’ love stories, take delight in the chapters God is writing just for you. Spoiler alert: His timing is never wrong.
Pro Tip: Start a gratitude journal. Every day, jot down three things that brought you joy. You’ll soon realize your life is brimming with blessings.
3. Keep a Sense of Humor
Let’s be honest: dating as an older Christian single can be downright hilarious. There’s the guy who brought his mom on your coffee date (yes, it happens) and the one who spent the entire time quoting Leviticus. Remember, laughter is good for the soul (Proverbs 17:22).
If you can’t laugh at your dating stories now, save them for later. Someday, you’ll be able to tell your grandchildren about “the time I got set up with a guy who thought Malachi was a brand of coffee.”
4. Be Open, But Have Standards
Being single doesn’t mean you should lower your standards or settle for less than God’s best. Remember Ruth and Boaz? Ruth didn’t chase Boaz down like a contestant on a reality dating show. She lived a life of integrity and diligence, and Boaz noticed.
James 1:5 encourages us to ask for wisdom: “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
Pro Tip: Create a list of qualities you desire in a partner, but hold it loosely. God often surprises us with what we didn’t know we needed.
5. Serve While You Wait
One of the best ways to combat feelings of loneliness or impatience is by serving others. Volunteer at your church, mentor younger believers, or join a mission trip. When you pour into others, you not only make a difference but also discover the richness of life beyond romantic relationships.
Galatians 6:9 reminds us: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
6. Guard Your Heart, But Don’t Build a Wall
It’s easy to become jaded after experiencing heartbreak or disappointment. Proverbs 4:23 advises, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Guarding your heart doesn’t mean building an impenetrable fortress. It means being wise about who you let in and trusting God to protect and heal you.
Pro Tip: Pray before entering any new relationship. Ask God for clarity and courage to walk away if it’s not His best for you.
7. Find Your Community
Being single doesn’t mean being alone. Surround yourself with a community that uplifts and encourages you. Whether it’s a small group at church, a Bible study, or even a Christian hiking club, find your tribe. Life is better when shared with friends who laugh at your jokes and pray for your dreams.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says: “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”
8. Pray Boldly and Specifically
Have you ever prayed for a spouse and felt like God put your request in the heavenly spam folder? Don’t lose hope! Pray boldly and specifically. Remember, God delights in giving good gifts to His children (Matthew 7:11). But don’t just pray for a spouse—pray for wisdom, contentment, and the ability to recognize God’s plans.
Pro Tip: Keep a “prayer jar.” Write down your prayers and revisit them after a year to see how God has worked in your life.
9. Take Care of Yourself
Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s stewardship. Whether it’s taking a cooking class, joining a gym, or finally writing that book, invest in your well-being. God created you with unique talents and interests, so don’t let them go to waste.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 reminds us that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit. Treat yours with respect and gratitude.
10. Remember: You’re Not Plan B
Being single doesn’t make you God’s backup plan. Jeremiah 29:11 assures us: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
Trust that God’s timing is perfect. Whether He calls you to a life of singleness or brings a partner into your life, His plans are always for your good and His glory.
In Closing: Laugh, Love, and Trust
Mature Christian singles, you are not forgotten, overlooked, or incomplete. You are a masterpiece in progress, created by a loving God who sees the end from the beginning. Embrace your season with joy, laughter, and faith, knowing that the Author of your story writes only the best endings.
And remember, whether you’re single for a season or a lifetime, your ultimate relationship goal is to glorify God. Everything else? It’s just icing on the cake.
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