Pathological Liars: Are You Dating a Liar?

If only I would have read this post 3 months ago. Well 3 months ago I thought I had met the guy of my dreams. He was handsome, nice,fun and and so on. The first time we talked we clicked ,so there was a second date then a third. It developed into a realtionship. I thought everything was ok. But to my surprise on Aug 17, 2006 I recieved a text message reply saying surprise this is his wife….I had a feeling he was lying so me and my mom went to the house and there was his wife and we talked. There\’s so much to this story but that doesn\’t even matter because the whole relationship was a lie, thank God I governed myself accordlingy, and followed God commands that christians should do when dating.

I learned that when pathological liars get caught up in their lies they will do anything to cover their self even if it\\\’s to hurt someone they supposely care about. So Christian be careful with this. I\\\’ve learn you can\\\’t give your heart to everyone/ Ask God to show you things and if you ever find yourself questioning or having doubts, leave the person alone. It will save you from being hurt like I did. This was my first love and first serious boyfriend and being hurt isn\\\’t fun. God Bless, and remember that if we wait on God, all things will be added unto us if it is according to his will.

I could have saved myself from alot of crap that happened to me! Gee, I always knew there was something wrong with that guy. He sure built up his credibility by telling me half-truths [that sounds like an oxymoron].
I have pretty much recovered from all of this, but I dont know if that person wil ever feel guilty…
Come to think of it I have met like 3 pathological liars up to now, but He was the one who affected me the most because he rushed everything. I know now that I am an emotional fool.

Thanx alot for sharing this info here, people are sure gonna learn and hopefully they will follow it through, rather than giving their relationships second chances or guesses.

Some of your assessments may be off the mark. at least three of the symptoms you describe could just be SHYNESS or LACK OF SELF CONFIDENCE!

Hi i have met someone who twists and turns stories to thir own advantage, with ego inflation watch out as these people can really make you feel you are the one in the wrong you are mad its not them its you dont be fooled by this everyone has difficult experiences it does not mean you are at falt get out give yourself a break and the truth will come
this person wont leave me alone and they are already in a relationship and the lies just flow from their mouth, convincing me that its the truth fantacy mixed with reality well ending of story they are dumped, sometimes we stay in relationships as we get caught up in lonelyness but turn to a god of your understanding be fulfilled and move forward. the best is yet to come

Hi, I have benn married three times to those who physically and emotionally abused me Just knowing someone out there is praying for me gives me new strength to be encouraged.

I was surprised to see how so many people were affected by pathological liars. I to was affected by one. I went on to match.com to find a relationship. I soon found myself dating a man that I knew through some of his friends. He told me on the first date that he had a psycho ex-girlfriend…I believed him and began a serious relationship. Months went by and then one of my friends found his supposely “psycho ex-girlfriend’s” myspace account. I looked at it and found out he was cheating on me with her. When I confronted him he denied it… It has almost been a year since we broke up and I’m still heartbroke. He still calls me and once has come to my house crying and telling me he is going to change, but he never does…I just keep praying that I will be able to find my true love and that I can trust my heart with another.

I was dating this girl for 4 years and i caught her in so many lies..she lied about her age and what she did for a living…right now we are trying to get back together but she keeps on having this girl stay over at her place on the weekend, i asked her to stop letting this happen because it makes me feel stressed…she still has this girl over infact she over at her place right now as i type and shes staying the weekend. I dont know if i want to do this to myself again but i love her and i want to be with her but i can’t believe a word that comes out of her mouth.

Hi Brittany this is for you. Living with a pathological liar for over 2 yrs has given me amazing insight. #1 The person will lie, exaggerate often and will believe in their own lies at the same time. #2 If you confront them about a lie they can easily become aggressive and violent. #3 They make up a lot of stories to garner sympathy because they have low self esteem. On the last day of having this woman in my house I confronted her about all the lies. She then started screaming and threatening to send one of our male house guests to jail for molestation. The final blow was when she said, “I never liked your family anyways”. I asked why did you stay here then? . . .”Oh, I needed the money and a place to stay”. So you see, a lot of liars only care about themselves, and how to get sympathy and money. They care nothing about you! So just cut them out of your life!!

I STARTED HANGING OUT WITH THIS GUY. HE HAD A GF, AND SAID HE BROKE UP WITH HER. LATER I FOUND OUT HE WAS MAKING LOVE TO ME,THEN TO HER THE NEXT DAY. WEVE BEEN TOGETEHR FOR 4 MONTHS AND I FOUND OUT FROM HER THEY HAVE BEEN TALKING THE WHOLE TIME.

I’M WEAK, AND I ASK GOD TO HELP ME BE STRONG AND LET HIM GO, BUT I FEEL THAT I NEED HIM … I THINK IT WILL GET WORSE BECAUSE HE’S SO MEAN AND EVIL, BUT YET SO CHARMING

Firstly, I’m a Christian and my boyfriend is the son of pastors. It’s actually shocked me how you people lack forgiveness on this site. I’m sorry if I offend, but sometimes you need to learn to HELP those who are really in need, and these people are in need. Don’t turn your back on them even though it’s hard, they still need help. They lack self esteem and sometimes love. Are we going to turn our backs on them

Here’s my story; I’m 18 years old and have been with a pathological liar four years now. I only figured him out about 8 months ago and have been encouraging him to seek help. He cheats (by getting emotionally attached to other girls). He seeks attention and pity from these persons as well as his family and friend by slandering my name. He even told them I was more evil that Satan! In fact, HE was the one who didn’t care about our relationship and would constantly hurt it, then lie to his friends and say I was the cause.

At this point he’s been seeking psychological help and I’m here for him. I guess in the end of the day, it’s all up to the person and you. My boyfriend didn’t think he needed help, but I stood there, showing him the signs and the ill effects of his lifestyle. He finally came to the realisation that he had a problem. In fact, I told him he was a compusive liar and it was him who actually did research and corrected me by saying he shows signs of pathological lying.

My point? It’s up you and the person involved. It all boils down to whether they realise they want help and are making a conscious effort and YOU have the will power and the endurnce to withstand hittin rock bottom and working all the way back up, for your fellow man. WWJD?

I have been dating a guy for 2 years. He has a tarnished past(prison, abandoned by adoptive parents,gambling, theft). I try to understand and be forgiving with him since he trying to put all this behind him. He has never had a real family but he lies a lot. Most of the time it is about un-important things like not being at the golf course or a bar. I know he loves me and my kids that is no lie but I cant help but think maybe if he’d lie to me about small things he would lie about big things. Everyone who knows him says if his lips are moving he is lying. There have been quite a few instances that make me think he might be lying about another woman/women. I have never caught him but I have this strange FEELING he may be lying about not one but more than one. I love him dearly even though he is not truthful. I dont know what to do. His lies are stupid lies to cover more lies that lead to more lies. How he keeps up with the stories I will never know. I take pity on him and I am scared that is why I stay with him. Please pray that I figure out the right thing to do. He is not a “bad” guy. I just think he is really confused. He wants to get married and have a “family life” but I am scared to go this far until I am sure that he is not a pathological liar and a cheat.
Again please pray for me that I can find my way to the truth

Well, the decision has been made. He didnt come home last night. He stayed out gambling and lost $3000. Why are some people so horrible and mindless of others feelings? Everything I have read on this post sounds so familiar to me. All of us should realize we are to good to be treated this way. Just because we are caring individuals people seem to take advantage of us. yES I AM FEARFUL OF HIM. He has had me followed and has spied on me before when we have split up. I plan to leave the house and get me and the kids out but he knows everyone in town and I am sure to be followed no matter where I go.

Would like to get together with ladies experiencing same to start group therapy…yg906@aol.com

I was in a relationship with this Guy for 14 mths. Throughtout the relationship, I have the suspicion about him lying as he is not available via phone and keep a lot of things to himself since he moved interstate to work. I finally found love SMS on his phone when he came for a visit. Long story…he also keeps close contact with his ex (what he claimed). I confronted him, he claimed the other girl knew about me and know we will get marry. Out of surprise, I called the other girl and found out she did not know about me at all, being hidden in the dark by him as well. I am devastated, but thank God for revealing his truth self to me before marraige. I praise God for loving and caring about me even though my heart is far away.

What a dumb article. Most of your “tells” are attributes commonly displayed by nervous people, shy people, socially anxious people, introverts, etc, whatever you want to call them.

Telling people that they are signs of lying is just going to make it that much harder for the socially inept to reach out to others.

I met a girl on the internet, we chatted for quite sometime then finally met, we went out a few times and really hit it off, we started telling each other about our families, she told me about a previous abusive relationship she had and also that she had a child in that relationship. This girl needs help and I don’t know how to go about helping her.

Wow, I just got ride of a suspected liar- he lied about money and prestige and even borrowed money and made promises and never kept them. Started arguments and wanted to be right all the time. I have never seen his house and then he asked to use my address- very suspicious- of course he claimed he had b een a victim of identy theft- yeah right

I just find out the man I loved so much is married and has a girlfriend. He charmed me off my feet the first few months of knowing him. He was involved in a plane crash and had a kidney transplant. My heart really went out to him. As time past I noticed his stories had changed. He lied to me so much I still cannot believe it and don’t understand why I was his victim. He said he had been divorced for three yrs when I first met him, 11 months later he said two years. He said his ex-wife lived in a different state with their son, later I found out there was no truth to that and they just separated in June because his wife caught him having an affair with another woman. His wife moved out of the house and his girlfriend moved in. He said his kidney belong to his mother, later I found out it belonged to his father in-law. I prayed for three weeks asking God to reveal the truth about this man because in my heart I knew something was not right. He lied about where he lived, gave me his brother’s address. He told me there was no one else in his life and that I was the only one. After confronting him he continued to lie even more and at the end became really angry with me and said “how about you don’t call me anymore.” Needless to say I’m very hurt and don’t understand why he chose me to lie to. I know the Bible says to love but, at this point I feel hate for him. After finding out the truth , it’s almost as if the man I once loved no longer exists.

Well here is my out put on it:

I hate liars as well but to be honest find myself doing the same as them. I’m 27, white male. I had a nervous breakdown over my first GF. My family has never been one for much support (save but for my mother, but she just didnt have time for me or my brother after my parents divorced when i was 7).

I dont know when to realy tell the truth because I fear no woman will want what I offer. I am working on bettering myself. Ii not saing im right to lie or even justified for it. I hate myself for it every time I do it cause it feel it lessens me as a man and my vow to God. but I can’t tolerate this perpetual isolation. Anyone got any ideas?

David Butler,

Thank you for your offer on the counseling however I’ve placed this in God’s hands. After doing some research I believe I was dealing with a sociopath. I saw the “clinical traits” of a sociopath
listed online and Paul fits every trait I have listed below. I spoke to his brother for the first time a few weeks back and his own brother said “you will never in your entire life meet anyone with a darker soul”. This truly scares me that I was involved with a person like this and feel my only choice is to walk away very fast. I’m thanking God every day for revealing the truth to me about Paul. I pray with all my heart that God brings Paul to conviction, that He teaches him His ways and shows Him his path. This will be the only way I will feel what I went through was worth well. I pray that God stops him in his tracks when he sees another victim to prey upon. I pray that God protects every women Paul comes in contact with and I thank our Lord Jesus for answering my prayer. I hope know one has to go through what I went through but, I hope God makes good out of it.

I would not have been able to get pass this without God.

“clinical traits” of a sociopath

1. SUPERFICIAL CHARM — the tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, and slick. Not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything. He never gets tongue-tied and has freed himself from the social conventions about taking turns in talking, for example.

2. GRANDIOSE SELF-WORTH — a grossly inflated view of one’s abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. An arrogant guy who believes he is a superior human being.

3. NEED FOR STIMULATION (PRONENESS TO BOREDOM) — an excessive need for novel, thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are risky. Often has low self-discipline in carrying tasks through to completion because he gets bored easily.

4. PATHOLOGICAL LYING — can be moderate or high; in moderate form, and will be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever (in extreme form, he will be deceptive, deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative, and dishonest).

5. CONNING AND MANIPULATIVENESS — the use of deceit and deception to cheat, con, or defraud others for personal gain; distinguished from Item #4 in the degree to which exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of concern for the feelings and suffering of one’s victims.

6. LACK OF REMORSE OR GUILT — a lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, coldhearted, and unempathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one’s victims.

7. SHALLOW AFFECT — emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness.

8. CALLOUSNESS and LACK OF EMPATHY — a lack of feelings toward people in general; cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate, and tactless.

9. PARASITIC LIFESTYLE — an intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.

10. POOR BEHAVIORAL CONTROLS — expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper; acting hastily.

11. PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL BEHAVIOR — a variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous affairs, and an indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of several relationships at the same time; a history of attempts to sexually coerce others into sexual activity or taking great pride at discussing sexual exploits or conquests.

12. LACK OF REALISTIC, LONG-TERM GOALS — an inability or persistent failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals; a nomadic existence, aimless, lacking direction in life.

13. IMPULSIVITY — the occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations, and urges; a lack of deliberation without considering the consequences; foolhardy, rash, unpredictable, erratic, and reckless.

14. IRRESPONSIBILITY — repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and commitments; such as not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual agreements.

15. FAILURE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OWN ACTIONS — a failure to accept responsibility for one’s actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate others through this denial.

16. MANY SHORT-TERM RELATIONSHIPS — a lack of commitment to a long-term relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments in life, including marital.

Hi, I just wanted to expand on the point one fellow made about your assessments. I myself could easily be said to have the first FOUR of your “symptoms”, and the last as well if you consider only the “have a hard time giving a simple and short, direct answer” part of it. I am NOT a compulsive liar, in fact i lie very rarely. For me, it is all nerves. I am not good with people and in fact may have social anxiety disorder — which is something that appears to be more common than I had previously realized.
My point is, I think people need more than anything to trust their instincts and watch for inconsistencies, because if you meet someone that shows even most of the other symptoms, it doesn’t necessarily make them a liar, even if the symptoms persist. It may just mean they’re nervous.
I guess all a person can do is to trust oneself, because I believe that someone who is nervous from lying probably “feels” different to one’s instincts than someone who is merely socially anxious.
Perhaps I should ask some people how I come across to them, it would be interesting to know.

well forgive if this post is a little odd. as i am typing it off my phone.

Why do women feel like they can tell you all of there problems and can be critical of your actions. but when you are honest with them in return is a big deal? Anyone hear the song called “policy of truth”? Why do women treat me like crap?

help me i lie so bad

I have cheated lied backstabbed everybody around me and I need help.

I think I might have just dodged a CANNONBALL (ie, relationship with a pathological liar.)

Thank you for this site!

In regard to Pathological Liars, I feel so stuck, I have been dating this guy for almost 3 years and we have 2 kids together, he has been lying to me ever since we got together andI never know what to believe from him. He recently lied to me and I am so fedup, but I love him so much. I feel stuck and I dont know what to do. I know he is a good person, he has had a lying problem since a child and he openly admits it, please help.

Sorry it ain’t that easy!I became married 23yrs ago to a pathologicla liar.I just discover his true colors after 23years!!!!!!He can llok me STRAIGHT in the face and not flinch.His parents were worship leaders.they also lerd a Bible study and I meant him through there…

Here is my wisdon so HEED IT ladies!!! The Holy Spirit was tellling me “NO!!!” ButI just thought it was gear and I didn’t want to be like my non commital brother…
Now my little boy is starting tyo lie[age 10]….

the good news is I htink my husband can change.I have had Crhitian proffesionals tell me he can..but he has to get honest.Please pray for him.I cannot reveal his name in here of course.

He is doing pyscological abuse to me which I consider worswe than a fist on my face because it makes you doubt your sanity.

thank you for your prayers if anyone is listening..

I lost my kids because I beleived a narcissist liar. I can’t beleive I just spent 3 years being the victim of a narcissist at such a great cost.I hope my kids will forgive me. I am so sorry.

I’ve read through all of these posts about pathological liars and have realized my situation is soooo much worse than I thought. My husband of 4 yrs has betrayed me too many times and it has changed the person I truly am. He talks to other women… via phone, text and instant messaging. When I confront him and I have physical proof of it, he still denies it. It’s unreal! His stories or versions are always so absurd and he starts getting mean when I confront him. He usually lies to me about things that he thinks will upset me. I know when he lies he is not trying to make me feel bad, he is just making himself feel better for his actions. I honestly think that he starts to believe his lies. I get more upset about the lying than the actual event or whatever. Do these pathological liars actually think that we believe all this? I guess the real problem is that we (people with actual morals) let them keep doing this to us. Maybe we are the ones with the problem.

I know it is not as simple as just walking away. We love these people… give them the benefit of the doubt time and time again and actually believe them when they finally break down and they tell us they will get help.

I’m so torn because I absolutely, truly love the man. I know he loves me. He’s never cheated… talked dirty or anything like that to these women. He just talks to them…. for attention maybe and he hides it. The hiding and lying makes it sooo suspicious. We have fought over this issue the past 3 yrs and he isn’t getting any better. My heart cannot take anymore surprises like this. Now he wants to go to counseling for his lying. But after reading all these posts it sounds like they will never change. And even if he does, I don’t know how long I will have this sick feeling in my stomach not knowing truly what is going on.

What to do? Any advice from those who have been here? Should I give therapy a run or just walk away? There is a little one involved. If she wasn’t in the picture I know i wouldn’t have lasted this long. Be compassionate or have I been forgiving enough?

I was dating a pathological liar up until very recently when he broke up with me and that night was out with his ex-girlfriend. Simply because I caught him in more lies and confronted him he wanted to run away, like always. Turns out he’s been seeing his ex for the past few weeks(about two weeks before he and I broke up). Then he called me and told me how sorry he was, only to be back out with her spending the night at her place again. His mom even tells me to move on and that I deserve better. But I love him. I can’t escape from that. Part of me really wants to make it work, but the other part of me is saying it’s not going to because he will not change. I hope to God he does. Because I love him. And life is nothing to me without such. If that means I have to put him before myself until he gets better, I will, I suppose. I can’t help it — I love him with all of my heart.
~Samantha

I broke up with a pathological liar 1 year ago and am still struggling to let the anger go. It is something I pray about a lot. I sympathise with everyone else who has been in this situation. At the time I knew his stories didn’t add up but he was so good at arguing back and turning it on me and making me feel ot trusting him that in the end I would give up to keep the peace. EVen when I broke up with him it was months and months of phone call stalking telling me that he had brain tumours and was going to kill homself.

In those points up the top of this page it says that you can pick a liar by the way they figit and don’t make eye contacty and stutter. I’m afraid that is not always the case. A true pathological liar becomes so involved in their lies that they don’t flinch when they lie or are covering that lie with another lie. My ex could look me straight in the eye and lie.

Thank you to everyone for sharing on here. It has helped me to not feel so alone in this.

I need to say to Samantha that you need to get away from that guy. I know you love him now and you are still emotionally attached but that will subside one you get away from hima and move on. You deserve better that that for youself and you need to love yourself enough to believe that you do deserve better than that.

He has cheated on you and lied to you. He won’t change that unless he really wants to and it sounds to me like he doesn’t. He will keep treating you like crap because you let him.

I felt sorry for my pathological lying ex for a couple of weeks and now I don’t at all. He has made those decisions for his life and he can deal with it and without me being in his life.

Please be strong.

Dear Rider, I agree with you that some of the comments posted doesn’t necessarily sound like the people they dealt with were pathological liars. You say you were one and have worked through it with your girlfriend. Maybe your case wasn’t as severe. You probably had a compulsive lying disorder. This is different from being a being a pathological liar. I’m no shrink by any means, but I dont think a pathological liar can cure his or herself. Not on their on anyway. If you are truly cured, congratulations. Now, to Mickey, I hope you read this, as it’s been a while since you last posted. I completly understand where you’re coming from. Your comments sound so much like what I went through and still have problems with but it’s tapered down a bit. I dont know how long that is going to last. My ex was a pathological liar or should I say is a pathological liar. These liars are good at making you feel guilty when you know you are not guilty. I’ve been through what you’ve been through. They are so good at getting what they want and they could care less who they hurt in the process. They lie about any and everything. My ex would call me repeatedly too. Making up story after story trying to make me feel bad. Sometimes I feel like an idiot for falling for him, but I believe everthing happens for a reason and one day I will understand. My ex knew how to con people including me. He was emotionally and verbally abusive at times. He always claimed he loved me and would never leave me. The longer I stayed with him, the harder it was to get out. He still calls me at work telling more lies trying to get me back. I’ve have not heard from lately though. To end this, my advice to anyone involved with a pathological liar is to get out fast! I was hurt emotionally and finacially. I could write a book.

You are wrong about the signs pathological liars show when lying. They are not nervous or uncomfortable and they have no problem looking you in the eye. In fact, they often sound more convincing than a “normal person” who is telling the truth, since the normal person may be worried about not being believed.

Contrary, a pathological liar is not worried about being caught lying. It’s like they can not grasp the possible consequences of getting caught.

All I wanted was to have a mature enough boyfriend to include me in his life. Im so tired of fighting to have a normal relationship.

I just want a boyfriend that couldve stood up for me.

I wanted a boyfriend who WANTED to go for walks with me, play basketball with me, go to the beach with me, go to movies with me, suppers with me and spend quality time with me and FORGET about his friends and what they were doing….but enjoy ME!

I guess that was too much to ask, all I got was him asking me to have sex with strangers in bathhouses and on craigslist and lies.
His one retarded friend was jealous of our relationship and friendship and so he tols everyone he say me on T.V and ruined any of my chances of having a friendship with his buddies.

My boyfriend is too blinde to see that his “best friend’ was jealous of our friendship/relationship and he was spreading rumors.

My boyfriend always cared more about his friends feelings then mine.

I always felt like I loved him more then he loved me and I always had to fight to make him warmer to me. I remember in the beginning he would love to lay and look into my eyes. now its a chore and an argument. That’s how I know he’s a phony.

Dear California,

You are right in everything that you are saying. Is the person that you are speaking about a Christian? It doesn’t sound like it. We all make mistakes. Christians are no exceptions. From your comment though, it doesn’t seem like this person has any regret or repentance in his heart. The best thing you can do is pray for him and minister to him. Romance with this person is not a good idea until he comes closer to God and invites the Holy Spirit into his heart.

God Blesss,
Jodi

Thanks Jodi. He is not a Christian and doesn’t really believe in God–so what on earth am I doing? I guess I fell in love with him and because I’ve known him since grade school.

Tina–wow. I really need advice because he says he’s going to do whatever it takes to be with me and marry me. However, he is using the same tactic. Is there any possible way we can all email each other for support?? Try to get in touch with me ladies, I think we could use talking to each other for support.

Okay well, im 16 years old and my boyfriend is 17. I do believe he is a pathological liar. He says so many crazy and insane stories, I just want to smack him in the face! My friend even agrees. And he’s the one who showed me this site, and said my boyfriend could be like this. I looked at the symptoms and I started to cry because Jason fit almost all of them. One of his stories is he fought a tree, and lost. Also that he has a squirrel friend running around the neighbordhood wit a knife and pirate eye patch. He also lies about how many friends he had on myspace, that was an easy lie to figure out. He even makes up the weirdest comments to people… i can’t think of any right now though, sorry. And when i try to say something to him, it’s like he’s trying to get me to be quiet and let him do the talking still. HE’S BASICALLY THE ONLY ONE WHO TALKS IN THE RELATIONSHIP!! We have been dating for almost 6 months now. I try to get a word in and when I do, he sucks in his breath and says, No.. and blah blah blah. I don’t know what to do with him. I want to bring this up to him, but I don’t know how. I know that if I dont tell him this, this will lead to our downfall, and I don’t want to break up with him. We say we love each other with all our hearts, and that we won’t leave each other.. but honestly, I don’t think we know what love is.
And in his other relatioship, he did the same thing and he even got engaged to her and he said he will always be with her. Well, it was a bitter end to that relationship.
Please??!! help me someone. tell me what to do…im desperate

From my very recent and painful experience, I have learnt that liars are totally smooth operators. Under the guise of honesty,
they can tell you ‘truths’ and because it seems so wonderful that they are voluntarily being so ‘honest’ about their murky past. I was too trusting, because I was impressed by the ‘honesty’ and thought ‘this guy may have done terrible things in his past, but at least I know about them and how repentant he is for them’. I was sucked in and I learnt the very hard way. There were far worse truths that he hid from me, and ultimately this has led to my heart being broken repeatedly and my life being endangered.

One lesson I have learnt is: Do not trust a man who does not trust you. He is untrustworthy – a liar. If he spends his time asking suspicious questions (often with an air of interest in you, but he is really trying to discover any nasty things in your past), I have found it is because he has many suspicious things to hide himself. He is deflecting the blame. It is very hard for a liar to believe another person is telling the truth, as he can’t help but tell frequent lies himself. He thinks you are like him. It is extremely exhausting to deal with. Ultimately you get extremely hurt, because the ‘truths’ you get told are the convenient ones which won’t jeopardise the relationship, and the real truth is so much worse, and in my case, dangerous.

If a person seems too good to be true, sadly that is likely to be the case. A persons’ good intentions do not mean that they actually are a good person. Words are cheap but actions are telling. It is very hard to gauge the latter if you have a long-distance or web-based relationship. A bad egg may want to become a good one, but it’s very difficult to change after years of pathological lying – even for those who have come to know God. Good things take time – do you want to suffer in the meantime for all of his bad choices? Do you want to be repeatedly hurt? It’s not a place I ever wish to go back to. Our lives are worth more than that. Don’t sacrifice yourself at the altar of someone else’s evolution – I don’t believe that is God’s plan for us.

I wish I’d found this site sooner, though I was in love and probably wouldn’t have believed the man I loved would keep lying constantly.

I married him, married for 7 years, together for 11 years and 3 children. I knew he lied a lot. He was very promiscuous before meeting me. He was sexually agressive with me, always trying to get me to do more sexual things while dating and even while married (he’s the only man I’ve ever been with).

He just dropped a bomb 5 weeks ago that he had sex with 8 people last year! Some were men, some were women, all unprotected!! Praise God the STD tests have been negative!

He is a sex addict, has done something sexual with our dog (whom we no longer have) and did something sexual with ou daughter when she was almost 2 years old. He is highly intelligent and hid EVERYTHING! My parents are shocked and he may end up in prison over what happened with our daughter. She is 6 now and has no knowledge of the incident thank goodness!

He lied up until last week about what happened exactly with our daughter. The detective brought the whole truth out when I listened to his confession.

He is a lost lost man and he is really seeking God. I asked him to read The Shack last fall and this is what started making him feel guilty about all he’d done, up to that point he lied to himself that he had not really done all of these terrible things. The Shack made it all real.

I understand about forgiveness, and I do feel sorry for him. I am angry however and we are getting divorced as I CAN NOT be with a man who sexually abused my daughter, as he may again some day. We are not living together anymore, but I still talk with him as he was the love of my life even though he didn’t always treat me well emotionally. He’s always had flat emotions, like never really that happen nor sad.

Please for the poster passing judegment on some of us choosing divorce…remember all of us are in different situations than you. Some of us (like me), have NO choice to go back to our spouses. Legally, my husband may never have unsupervised visitation with our children again. I do not plan to ever leave him alone with him.

I am now delving into single parenthood, and since he may be a registered sex offender, he may never even get another job (and he had a 5 year college degree), so I will never get any type of financial support. I’m 31 years old and met him when I was 19 years old.

In spite of all of this, the pain is at times unbearable. I get angry, sad, frustrated, I’m very very hurt. I still love him, but I will be going to counseling as I need to know how to get away emotionally from this man whom I loved so unconditionally.

So please, be aware that while your spouse may pass moral borders, they may also pass legal ones. My spouse also paid someone for sex, had sex in public places with other people while we were married, etc….he never was caught and I am glad because I would not want to have found out about all of this from the police.

Lying points to huge spiritual issues….I know for me if I ever date again (which just seems so strange to me as I truly promised myself only to my husband when we wed), if a man lies to me, I will NOT be with him.

Also, pornography is incredibly evil! The incident with my daughter happened when he was looking at adult porn. If you catch a spouse looking at it, they need help, immediately! My spouse is a software engineer and he was able to hid anything he looked at on the computer from me and I never suspected it anyhow.

I actually saw spiritual warfare in play just 3 days after he told me everything that happened. Our pastor came to our house and he witnessed it as well. It was scary, and I’ve read that porn can bring demons. My husband is seeing counselors, and a pastor exerienced in spiritual warfare and attending sex addiction meetings. He’s trying, yet, because of all he’s done (especially with our daughter), I can never go back…let alone with a relapse with sleeping with people, I cannot risk contracting HIV!

I now will be a single mother who has recently recovered from a chronic illness (well, I am in remission, relapse is possible), no job, and if he goes to prison, I will be forced to file for Bankruptcy as I was a stay at home mother for our children. It’s been 3.5 years since I’ve worked, I am an RN and I’ve submitted resumes, but have not found a job to date. My life is in shambles, yet God has been good…my brother and his wife opened their home to me and my children, I have no STD’s, the kids have a great new school, ect. God has held me and I’ve felt his power and his love.

I feel for all of you caught up in this twisted lying web of your loved ones….please let this be a wake up call for what can and MAY happen!

Can anybody help me deal with this by giving me any bible verses that speak of pathological liars me and my girlfriend have been datin for a year and I come to find out recently when she was going out with her friends she was actually going to parties on guys houses I don’t know if she has cheated. And we are planning on getting back together we are both just depressed and need guidance through this. We were perfect, she just made some bad choices. 🙁 does anybody have any bible verses for her to change her ways and me to forgive her?

I won’t say much – given the experience I had was with someone who googles the living daylights out of my email addresses. Anyway all the signs you reference in the article above are spot on -whatever may be the label may be for this “type” of dishonest person. In my experience though the closer you get to the person the less they display the physical signs – but many of the behaviors continue – constant questioning of your honesty while blowing up anytime you dare to question them on the silliest little thing. I think they may get into a comfort zone or something once they have lied to a person over time which makes many of the above behaviors more frequent and intense. That said – listen to those around you who meet them as well. In my case nearly all of my friends and family, co-workers who met this person had a very consistent poor first impression given they did not ever look them in the eye and something seemed “peculiar – definately hiding something”. On several occasions they also observed aggressive defensiveness and possessiveness. That should have been warning enough for me – but like many people I tend to keep looking for the good in people before casting them off and this person was charming and outgoing and fun to be with. Unfortunately I gave the benefit of the doubt for far to long to a person who was living at minimum a double life -cheating on their spouse (not divorced as they pretended to be, or getting one as the story changed to once found out) and me with each other and multiple others while lying to everyone in their life about many many things. Over time some of the truth came out but it was too late and life altering damage was done which affected many people and will for the rest of our lives. After having your complete life irreversably altered – by someone else’s deception – it is very hard to not be angry. That said, I try to remember that they are a child of God just like the rest of us – I think prayers are in order on both sides – the hurt someone must have felt to become that way – and for the collateral damage done to others as a result. Good luck to all on the post. I hope you are able to find peace and happiness and trustworthy people to spend the rest of your life with.

I am a Christian and I must say that I am extremely hurt by this site. Pathological Lying is a medical disorder in the front of the brian. What this means is that Pathological Liars have more “white” areas in the front of their brian, causing them to lie more. Autism has very little “white” in the front of the brian, causing them to not be able to lie, or lie very little. These people cannot help that they are lying. They are not trying to hurt anyone, it is mostly done because, one, they cannot help it, and two, they have low self esteem. As Christians, we should try to reach out and help those in need and guide them. Where’s the forgiveness? This is not how Jesus would treat or talk about anyone. Instead of ridiculing people, why not try to help?

i just got out of a 2month long relationship with a pathological liar. in those 2 months i believed he was a throat cancer survivor, self employed doing graphic design, his ex was a coked out prostitute, his grandma was sick and dying in the hospital, was not doing drugs and quitting drinking, his family disowned him because they want to talk to his ex, he lost his license because of his ex.. oh they go on. one week before we broke up he was staying with me at my house and i began to notice he was trying to isolate me and control me, and he even TRIED to impregnate me! he slapped me “playfully” but too hard. (dont worry, i got some good shots in after that) he would withhold affection as punishment for my “disobeying” him. he finally told me there was something “sexy about death!” i waited until he was safely back in his home 40 some minutes away and ended it. he continues to threaten me and harass me online, of which i have put in a police report, deleted and blocked him. ladies and gentleman, i began to wake up when one of the christian magazines i subscribe to came in the mail and read “what or who is preventing you from focusing on god?” and i remembered in the 2 months we have been together, i hadnt been to church! he mocked me when i studied my bible at home. do not take your focus off the lord. when man fails, the lord does not! he never disappoints, and he always has your best interest. if you cannot pursue the lord in your relationship, if you cannot grow in all areas of intelligence, spirituality, physical health, mental health even finances… it is time to reevaluate whether you are in a healthy relationship that promotes the welfare of both parties involved!

JESSICA: If you justify these people by a medical disorder, are you suggesting we have no free will at all??

There is still lots of information lacking in autism research and psychopaths. No one knows why someone is autistic, and all autistic people vary. They do not all have the same symptoms in the brain otherwise it would be a more predominant theory. As of now they don’t really know much. Same with psychopaths.

my point is I am an extremly sympathetic person, I am training to be a therapist. Which is why I’m saying from an educated point of view…. YOU CANNOT HELP A PSYCHOPATH. HELP MAKES THEM WORSE. it is proven.

3.5 years ago I met a man who had been down on his luck in life but claimed he wanted to change & make his life better. I believed him and was happy to help. He was engaging and easy to talk to. We talked for hours everyday. We spent a lot of time together. Well after 3 months of dating I started to find out a couple of hurtful lies. Instead of leaving him I stated with him like a dumb-dumb because I believed that he needed time to break his bad patterns. After all I had seen a lot of growth in him during that short time period.

Anyway, 3 years later, 4 therapists later, I realized that although he was the first love of my life I can’t keep sacrificing myself for him. He has lied so much. He has cheated (don’t have proof if he slept with anyone) but, phone numbers, emails, pictures, texts, voicemail messages to other women, men and transvestites. It has all been a very shocking and hurtful experience, but, it has been a valuable learning experience for me. This man comes across as being charming and personable. He got SAVED while we were together. We read the bible together every night and go to church most Sundays. I believe that he wants to do well I just think that his demons are more powerful than his will.

He has drained me. He has 2 children from different women and has put me in confrontations against them. After 3 months of dating him I was contacted by a woman who claimed she had just given birth to his son (this is the 2nd child). She ended up being his former girlfriend that he never told me about and NEVER told me that some woman was pregnant with his child. Eventually I had to file harassment charges against her because she would hunt me down, i.e., find out my phone numbers and call my house and cell constantly, find out where I wanted to move to and eventually where I moved to, threaten to come to my job, found out my email address, came to some cookouts and bbq’s that I was invited to. She always made a scene accosting him and I on the public street. It was crazy! I can’t blame her completely because she had also been one of his victims but was taking her anger and aggression out on me instead of him. She still loved him and just had his baby.

I had to hide so much of what he did from my family. I’ve been anrgy, hurt and enraged. Many times it has taken me from the path that God has set for me, but thanks to the Holy Spirit I was always redirected back to my path. He has a violent nature which brought out a violent nature in me because of all the anger and pain.

Please, please, please do research and take time in dating your future Mr. or Mrs. Right. The devil is so busy. Many people are dishonest and/or sick. They hide their true nature and manipulate the relationship for their advantage. They suck you in like vaccuum.

I’m not nieve. I met this man when I was 33yrs old. I’m now 37yrs old. So I’ve dated plenty of men before him and have shared in my portion of heartaches and heartbreaks. I fell in love with this man. He became the the first love of my life and I lost myself. In the bible it says ‘Guard your heart”. Rememeber to do that. Many times in this relationship I did not recognize this woman that was me. I don’t want anyone else to go through this. Pray and be careful in this world. We are fighting evil, demonic spirits everyday. Remember the expression ‘a wolf in sheep’s clothing’.

I am in the same “boat”. I have been with the same guy for 3 years and I recently found out about others. He lies to me all the time to my face. I am leaving the relationship, but have one question. I know one of the women with whom he was with while also with me. I am not angry with her because I realize this is his BIG problem, but I would like to email or call this woman (a very sweet, gentle and kind lady) just to let her know that she is not alone (she had a nervous breakdown). I also want to know what types of lies he told her. (She knows of me and I know of her, but we have never met). I have written a very nice email to her, because I just want to know what types of things he told her. I want to know the truth. We are both Christian women.
I have a feeling she would love to talk to me. Please don’t say, “let it go”. Others have told me to contact her, just to get this off my mind and get resolution. I actually have a feeling she would like to talk to me too. Opinions…. please,

Hi Pauline,

I know it must be hard to be in that situation, feeling trapped. You will find a job and be able to move on.

When he tries to tell you it’s your fault when you ask questions, don’t ever believe it, it’s just him trying to take the blame off himself. Don’t let him bring you down, you don’t deserve that.

As for your mending heart, give it to God, He can help fix your broken heart wherever you are. Keep praying and remember God loves you and wants the very best for you. He can and will use any situation for good. I’ll be praying for you.

I am so thankful i came onto this site tonight. i have such a heavy heart. my daughter got sucked into a relationship with a boy who we have caught in lies many times in only the 4 weeks of knowing him. (when she brought him over to our house over Christmas break) I love my girl so much and i cant believe she doesn’t see the lies that he is telling her. She goes back to him and tells him the lies we have caught him in and he will twist the story and come back with a new one and she believes he was just mistaken and now this new story she believe also. I am just sick to my stomach about this. He said he had skin cancer even and his kid never had skin cancer. she told him i said he lied and he now says he said he only had skin cancer tendencies, and he didnt say he can cancer, which before he did and now he story changed. I am so sad to think she just let him go from one lie to the next. He said he was addicted to porn also but now he isnt and she is ok with that. and believes he is ok now. but she has only known this boy a few months and is convinced he is so truthful about everything. i didnt have a clue my girl would be so needie that she would fall for this kind of person. I am pray that she will see him for who he is and she will break it off for good but he really know how to pour on the sugar and tell her how wonderful he is and how much he loves and needs her.. and she falls for it.
from a mothers heart could you guys please say a prayer for me today. and for my daughter to find a real good Christian man..
my heart is just aching.. i cant even believe she is with him and cant see it

@ Rider,
I can understand where you are coming from, but I disagree. Are you suggesting that people should offer themselves to these sociopaths because they are victims of something they cannot control? Most sociopaths do not have any empathy, gving them any makes it worse. It will always come back to bite the one who is trying to help. I tried and I payed for it big time, I am still crying till this day (sometimes). Because sociopaths feel sorry for themselves they should be cuddled? I understand that they are actually very lonely people looking for love and attention, but they are also narcissists who will harm you if they get the chance. why would any body volunteer for that? Like drug addicts they can only change when they want to, not because you or anybody else wants them to or because it is better. Only when they hit rock buttom. Ohh no no I want to scream from the rooftops to run run as fast one can away from these people. Every body does something wrong from time to time,, but when they don’t feel anything or even thean try to take advantage of the situation they are sick and only God can help them. They cannot do anything about it, neither can anybody else. Even if they do not mean to hurt others, they know they do, because everytime they are they arrive somewhere, someone gets hurt, they KNOW THAT. When they want to change, change will come. I’ve learned my lesson! Who says that admitting (I don’t mean to get personal) is some way of these people to get sympathy? I’ve tried so hard and I am doing better bla bla. Nope never again. To many promises none where kept. life is just to short to be carrying someone elses cross on top of my own.

I don’t want to be unkind, but I try to live my life in a state of
equanimity. If you don’t know what the word means perhaps you should look it up. Some of the things you said to me when I first met you, this was after I gave you my business card were inappropriate as far as I am concerned. You sound like a party boy, and there are plenty of wild women in Honolulu. I am not one of them. Regardless from that We are not on the same page, and never will be. When you sent me the text saying you literally just got back from a trip to Japan- that was ABSURD. Please read the article- I am not sending it to hurt you, but to help you. Oh and by the way- you don’t text someone you just met after 12:30 am. Please do not text-email me or call me again.

Thank you,

A

A

Sadly i am a pathological liar too. To every girl, family friends and colleagues. I can’t help it. I need help bad..- Mike

Hi I going to attempt to tell all the young woman and men out there that if your dealing with a pathological liar you must stop yourself from being their prey. They are manipulative not to mention controlling and very cold personalities. They will never be faithful, kind or considerate and yes you will always come last in their life.

How do I know that because I married a man twenty five years ago and he is actually worse now than when I married him. Why is his condition worse because lying is a way of life not even a bad habit.

You will definitely know the definition of the word HURT. Here’s mine Hell U Really Tried if you have to experience this over and over again you will become cold yourself with little or no patience for anyone and you don’t even realize you have changed more like the liar even though you probably don’t lie. These people are aggressive and love to degrade others for their imperfections. Most of these people inflate their ego to a standard that is false.

You must leave your soul outside the door if your going to venture into a relationship with a pathological liar and pick it up on the way out the door when you finally have had enough of untruth.

I have wasted the better part of my life with a man that has been emotionally cruel who has had threesomes with his best friends just to kick me in face for a laugh at my expense. He was used by a cruel girl who was married to his best friend and she was sexually abused as child and will do anyone for sex and even her husbands friends. This girl does threesomes on the internet videos and also with anyone who is willing.

No ladies or gentlemen you do not want to experience these types of issues in your relationships. My spouse has also ran around every chance he got. Run from them they will destroy your desire for lust of life.

Why did I stay, well my Husband is very Narsisttic and leaving would mean years in court for a divorce costing me every dime I have to live on. I worked for lawyers in divorce and believe it or not through experience sometimes it is easier to let them believe their lies than to get away.

You kind of move forward with your own life and still have some money to live on. These people don’t hold down jobs very long so you know who will be supporting them you. They are excellent at clutching your heart in the palm of their hand and squeezing the life out of it in the future. Please leave as soon as they start lying and being unfaithful or you will need more faith than you could of ever imagined. Sincerely

Aj Arbes mackey is on these websites praying on women and feeding them lies and dreams he uses women and will jump right in a relationship telling you he loves and paints a picture of being a hardworking great man but really is a pathilogical liar with several other girlfriends and always on the hunt.
This man is so convincing and has fooled many women including me thingsto look for:hiding phone,wont bring you to house,claims hes always working,wont answer phone after certain time and always talks to you on the phone in his car,wont answe phone but will text,he is very sneaky and cant be trusted.his whole life is a lie

I am married to a pathological liar for two years and finally left him so I could recover my sanity. I met this jerk on a dating site. Over time I found out he had been married eight times and has two kids. When I first met him he told me he was married once and that his wife died in childbirth and that later on his daughter died in a car accident when she was 18. Liars usually play the sympathy card just to win you over. He used to go on dating sites while I was at work and recently he started getting calls in the middle of the night. Whenever I confronted him about his cheating on me, he would tell me I was crazy. He would always bad mouth my family and then act really sweet when he was around them. Everything he tells me is a lie and now I suffer with stomach ulcers because of the aggravation he put me through. If a person tells you he loves you without getting to know you “Run.” These liars will say anything to win you over and then they will ruin your life.

I don’t think I would call the man that I was involved with a “pathological” lier. I think that he may have had a personality disorder. But, that doesn’t take the hurt away. We were actually friends for about 6 months before we started dating. I think I fell in love with him a little while we were friends. But, even in the beginning, my gut told me something wasn’t right and I just didn’t trust him, although at that time, I didn’t know why. But, I thought they were my issues, so I talked myself out of my gut telling me something. About a month and a half of dating, I caught him in a lie. We talked about it, he apologized. This happended several times. It was never over anything “big”, but they were still lies. We would break up for a short period of time, but I would always go back because he would tell me that he lied because he was afraid of losing me and he loved me. Finally, I just couldn’t ignore my gut anymore, and I did something totally unlike me, I went through his phone. I found out for at least two months, he was communicating with what I believed to be his ex-wife. I started to piece little things together. When I confronted him, he tried to lie. But when I started to call her, he finally admitted that he was still married!! They both swear that nothing sexual was going on and that they were just discussing their divorce, but I was broken. It is so hard to believe that he did this to me. I gave him everything. He told me that I made him happier than he had ever been in his life. He was so loving and sweet. So, I sit here and struggle with still loving him and realizing that he lied to me pretty much from day one. How do you get your heart to stop loving him?

There are two types of liars, those that are compulsive and those that are sociopaths. I married a sociopath. I knew he lied, he acted as if he could not help it, he even said things such as “what if I can’t quit lying” Then it escalated after his daughter got married, then his one sister died. he lies about everything big and small and pulls me in and I have been noticing he does get satisfaction when he can win me over. He told his daughter I am crazy and on drugs. I was the one who brought up giving money to her for her wedding, she is not young by the way. I did make a major mistake talking about Jehovah’s witness not knowing the new son in law was one, but it was one sentence as in people on my road should keep their doors shut due to they are coming door to door. My husband lies about money and awhile back he almost bankrupted us, I made a plan with a company who helps people in debt, it took six years to do it but we did. Now he is gambling, I found he owed $75.00 to a work friend. I have had spine surgery and did not want to go to a bar with him and his sister, he said he would not be gone long, 5 hours later and then he said the only thing he did wrong was not be realistic with telling me the time that was needed to get there and home. He went to a motel, I guess he did that thinking that was my worst fear, losing him. He lost his wedding band somewhere at the motel, he said he looked for it but not like I would have being out there in sunlight the next day, he bought a new one. He is going on a golf outing, he even told me I ok’ed it, no I did not. Then he said he already gave them the $50 deposit of the almost $500 for the 4 days and 3 nights. he told me there is a stripper club some of the guys go to but he won’t go, I shouldn’t worry. He said yesterday he would rather take care of things for himself only in foul words than touch me. I went to my Dr and I am situationally depressed, which I knew but I also wanted to make sure that the medication I need to take isn’t the problem because that is what he is telling people, that it makes me crazy. My sister had a stroke and now needs a cardiac catheterization, I am worried about her. He asked yesterday after calling me names and screaming if I loved him because I used the past tense of love, I don’t member saying love to him! He then said if I don’t love him then what’s the point, yes it is my fault in his eyes, again. I refuse to be scared because now I know he feeds off it. He told me I was his friend and his lover and he would never go out to a bar or on a vacation without me, even insulted the guys he works with that they live near each other and go to social events together and he would never be like that, but here he is going “golfing” which is on his “bucket list” He actually used that term. That must have took at least 15 minutes of his drive home to think that one up. I could vomit in his “bucket list” Brett Gyllenskog is learning to lie better, lower toned voice etc. he acts as if he has me figured out. Like with the gambling, he just didn’t tell me the amount. The bar, “I didn’t factor in the time and you are ridiculous thinking an hour when it takes that long to get to and from our house. He said he would spend a “short time” at the bar. Then I said to him “about an hour” Bar, not driving and even then I gave in due to his sister died. Oh and he used a term I had the florist put on the flowers it was something like “sister first, mother always”. He had to sound good on facebook. He throws his arm down like the king when he has to stop watching golf or football, in fact he enjoys making me wait to talk until commercials. That is easily seen. The think that made me understand that he is a sociopath was when he went back on me being his friend. That was my lightbulb moment and it hurt. Now I am in limbo, not sure what is next except like I said I have my sister to worry about and taking care of myself, I had to retire due to my spine, which reminds me, instead of saying I have a spinal cord injury which is the truth he told his daughter it was my medications that are the problem. I am not “allowed” around her by her own words because she doesn’t feel comfortable “yet” and then she skirted around the time I took getting ready and about medications. My husband was to straighten things out before this and he came home and said too many people there, on faceboook, one other person who stayed an hour. He had time to talk to them, instead he made things much worse by yes lying about me to his own daughter. He was eating wings and hanging out, facebook again, he is incapable of seeing himself for what he truly is and apparently he has told everyone in his family lies about me. I realized that because he had me convinced I talked about his daughter to a niece of his. when I brought it up she told me not to worry about it, she is sick of the gossip! So yes, it took years, I knew he lied but I didn’t know he was a sociopath until he was willing to take the one thing way I thought we had, friendship and we would enjoy vacations and going out together because friends do that. See in this clique who he claimed he did not like and would never hang around with, they are not taking their wives. It is bad, not sure what is next. I wrote him an email and was pretty civil and I was angry and crying, he is not home from work. I texted him. what is the point of being afraid. I read where the one who doesn’t care is the one who wins, well I want him to stop being a lying sociopath and I will not be called names. I was married before and he was abusive in all ways. Looks like I did it again except he is a liar, he did push me once but I flew hard into cabinets and if I would have been hurt he would have lost his job. I do not think he was concerned about my health or if I was hurt, but he has not of yet pushed or hurt me physically again. He does not want me to have an affair, he obsesses about his first wife having an affair when he was sleeping but yet they went on to have a daughter then HE had an affair after playing some strip game, not strip poker. I doubt his wife even had an affair and when I finally said so, his eyes showed, this one time, yes he lied. there is more but I am feeling angry and he will be home soon so I am going to stop. Praying for this evil to stop.

I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years and have been friends with him for over 4 years beforehand. I recently broke up with him due to his lies and lies. I always knew he lied but only a little bit and I overlooked them because I just love him so much. It never really directly affected me until now when he dropped off the face of the Earth for a week without contacting me even once. I had been calling daily and leaving text messages but he never responded so I had to resort in sending him an e-mail. He finally replied telling me that he had been really depressed because his friend from Korea was in a coma. He had mentioned this friend before but I always had a feeling it was just a lie to sound cool to have friends from different countries because I have seen him sign on her email and her facebook page with had very few friends which all played a similar facebook game. In addition I had never seen her number stored into his phone, or a number with an Area code from Korea or out of country number. It all seemed to suspicious but it wasn’t a big deal to me at the time. I told him that if he needed some time to himself he didnt have to avoid me and could have responded to a message saying he was going through something and needed time to himself. But instead he made up a wild story saying he was depressed over a friend in Korea. I then told him he should visit her since she is in a coma and may die at any second. Then he replies saying that he has visited her. We both live in the US and still live with our parents. So I just didn’t see how he could have left town without anyone knowing. SO i asked when he left to see her, and he said it was a few weeks ago when I know for sure he was in town and at work during that time.. SO i ask for his passport and plane ticket. He claimed someone else bought the ticket and had his passport. If that wasn’t enough he just kept insisting this friend of his was real! I was so fed up with him putting lies on top of each other that I had to end it. Now he is still avoiding me and won’t meet up to speak about our relationship and is still holding onto my items as a way to keep a hold on me. I am so upset and angry. Most of all I feel numb because I don’t know what to beelive and without trust, how can love survive? I am so numb, I do not know what to feel.