Rebound Relationship Dating Advice

I was dating and living in with a man for a year and a half. I got pregnant and he totally changed his colors once I did! He kept whining to close friends how he was the victim in our relationship. And from that hehis got his closest girl friend always ‘consoling’ him and flirting with him at my 7th month of pregnancy. Once I gave birth, he dumped me and started treating me coldly and dating around. Two months after, he ended up going steady with his close friend (who used to flirt with him while I was pregnant). Dont get me wrong, after all that has happened, I do not want him back. But I sure hope he is in a rebound relationship! Because it so hurts to think that what he felt for me before was so easily replaced considering we have a child. =(

I am wondering if it is possible to reunite with a rebounder after you have been let go. I expereinced a very intense relationship for 2 and 1/2 months. This was a guy that I had known from my past. He had recently had gotten out of an unhealthy relationship with his long time girlfriend and didn’t have time to heal. We got together as friends, we had an immediate connection and it felt as if we had known each other for years. I was everything his ex-girlfriend wasn’t. I am sweet, refined and emotionally giving. I felt we were meant to be together, but then the relationship became intense as he became needy, and we moved way too fast. I was there for him to help him recover from a recent on the job injury. He professed his love for me when actually I realize it must have been a transfer of feelings for the other women. I feel so used. I wonder if he really did have feelings for me. I was so naive and trusted him. He called me last week to tell me he would not be coming over anymore and gave me all kinds of excuses from health to finances. He then sent me an email the next day telling me what he professed as the truth, which was that he still had feeligs fro his ex-girlfriend. I realize he needs a lot of time to heal and be by himself, but I still wonder if there is any chance he would have a change of heart in the future. I guess only the Lord knows…..

It’s funny how you don’t hear from certain people until a crisis has happened and they feel that because your a nice person you’ll be there to lick their wounds while its emotionally draining for you they are feeding off of your kindness and if your not careful after they have used you for their own selfish purposes your left to lick your own wounds. Be very careful of rebounders and those people who just use you such as friends when their relationship goes sour and they need sumone to hang with until they resume their relationship again and you can’t hear from them until such another crisis.

My boyfriend of 3 1/2 years told me 1 1/2 motns ago that he needed “time”. This time he said he needed was to be by himself, and take care of him. 2 weeks after I moved out and tried to heal, I saw him driving on his birthday with another woman in his truck. I think he knew I saw him because he called me 30 seconds later. I asked him “what am I supposed to think?” He said that he wouldn’t be calling if he was on a date. I just left it. He continued to tell me that this girl was just a friend. Then he started to inflate her importance to get a rise out of me. It didn’t work. I told him one day “You have to love yourself before you can love me or anyone else.” He was before twisting and distorting things I would say. HE will not address his issues, and if he’s lying about her, then he is lying to himself too. Me, when I’m in love, People know. I saw him recently, and he doesn’t look any better or happpier since he broke up with me. So he can go have his “friend”. The result will be predictable as he refuses to realize that what he’s “looking for” is within himself, and if he can’t determine that, he will be a very lost individual leaving a trail of unsuccessful relationships behind. The pattern will not change.

I have a dear friend that has been dating a woman who just left her husband a month ago. He has known her for no more than 4months. She has taken over some of his bills (and vice versa) and has just jump right into helping with his kids etc. She still has not introduced her daughter to him or his kids,for fear of messing up the agreement for her divorce.I can’t get him to understand the danger.They both believe they are sent together by God. I try to tell him it can not be of God, she is not even divorced.
The hardest part of this for me is he is my ex-husband of 2 years and his kids are mine. I am so afraid for my kids!

I’ve just recently walked out on my two and a half year relationship with this guy who is demanding, controlling and cheats on me. And now he is telling his family and new girlfriend that he dumped me which is not true. I also know he is dating someone else to get revenge and is on a rebound. He has also started calling me names behind my back, making things up about me and making out like i was the one who ruined the relationship. He has also physically abused me in the past which is the main reason why i left. What are is intentions for doing this? Is he trying to hurt me by saying these things or trying to act like he doesn’t care that the relationship turned sour in fron of everyone elose? The thing that upsets me most is the fact he can make things up about the person who he claims ‘he loves.’And when his rebound relationship ends will he realise what a mistake his made or force himself into another rebound relationship with the next victim? And with his past behaviour with me while we were together, would his new girlfriend go through the same thing once his mask falls off?

Get rid of her. She made her bed now she has to lie in it. She only is keeping you around as a “safety net,” just in case she ever finds herself single again. Trust me breakups are hard and take time and goingthrough a lot of pain. If you have worked so hard to move past it cut her loose and join a singles club. life’s too short to hang aroung waiting to be somebody else’s leftovers!

I am in the middle of divorce with my husband of 8 yrs. Well when we separated, I met a man who was still married. We have been practically living together for 5 months now and we have both said we love each other. He says he really loves me. I told him he needs to start the process of divorce. He and his wife have been seperated for over 2 yrs, and she is from another country. So divorce is complicated.

This is a very crazy relationship…he asked me in the beginning if he was a rebound for me…I told him no…he said he just wanted to make sure…I do love him! I am Christian and have told him this and he accepts this…I feel we are now at a point where something needs to change..I spend a lot of time with him separate from my daughter. When we first met he wanted to do things with me and her but I said no because I was protecting her and had fear of my husband getting custody. He says he knows my daughter is part of this relationship and wants to get to know her…but he hasn’t yet (although he has met her once..Is he just scared? He treats me like a queen but what about my daughter?

I have been split from a man who I had been with for over two years. Looking back at first he wanted to marry me although he was still coming out of a relationship (his ex was still living with him until she could move into her own house). I refused his proposal, but we continued to have a loving relationship for another two years. Sadly however he also had mental issues, and would often get depressed and be volatile and when like this he was very difficult to be with and this did put a strain on us.

However he split from me a couple of months ago, and although reckoned he was not with someone else at the time is now engaged to another woman. However, I know the reason we split was more to do with the fact that I did not want a future with him and never wanted to marry him. We were still very much in love (at least I thought I we were) a month before the split, and feel that he needs to be someone and can’t be alone. This woman he is now engaged to has two young children too (he doesn’t like children and never wanted them and always made nasty comments if children were around and noisy in public places).

I just feel that he is so on the rebound and this poor single mom with children aged 4 and 6 is now engaged to him within at most 6 weeks of being with him.

I am just feeling kinda strange about it all, and then I read this artical on rebound relationships and figured he must be on the rebound, because it all seems just too soon and for someone who doesn’t even like children, well I wonder what kind of a stepdad he will be. I feel sorry for her, and relieved I am out of it.

Thanks for the artical I can really see how much better off I am without him.

I just got out of a 4 year relationship. Before that both of us were also good friends. During the relationship we were very close, in spite many implications like he is a dropout and he is going through a 2 year army national service, i stuck by him. I was at fault too for the break up, in spite being loving i took him for granted, i used breaking up to motivate him to continue his studies. And sometimes i was even confused if i love him at all and i was extremely frustrated with his laid backness. Now that I lost him, i realised i love him beyond description. However just two weeks after our breakup he found another girl. I was so heartbroken. What should i do?

Hello Everyone,
I am scared to type this…I was in a rebound relationship for 3 and 1/2 years we got engaged about 2 or 3 months after we met….We continued to have a toxic tumouluscious relationship. He ended it this past March. He would email me and text me…He would take me out to dinner and tell me he loved me but was confused. I let him suck me back in with hopes of returning as a couple. We went away for two days and had a nice time…about two weeks later something didn’t feel right and I know he was heading on a date and lying…I know he wasn’t my boyfriend, but we just slept together ***Which he used me**** He now has a new girlfriend….I keep thinking he is going to marry her and I was the transitional gal…

I was seeing my ex (guy) for about a year. We’ve been friends for about 5. Crossed a couple of boundaries that we should not have but we talked and prayed over it so it was addressed. Then my ex got married (ie: he started dating less than a month after breaking up with me saying “I’m not looking for a committed relationship”) within a year of our break up. Now they’re expecting a baby. I see them every week at church and I feel like I am being ripped to shreds every week. Why am I so alone and in pain after so long? When will I stop feeling sick. Any helpful ideas?

Speaking of Rebound relationships, I was matched on eHarmony with a man that was not honest with them or myself. He was the ex Chief of Police in a wealthy community and an upstanding citizen, but had not gone through divorce proceedings after the 3rd time of leaving his wife. I initially fell head over heels due to the fact that we had so many common denominators that it was uncanny. The bottom line was that I was his rebound. He got angry when I suggested that may be the case, but when I finally stated the fact that he was still ‘married’ he disappeared completely, without a trace and without a thought to my feelings. It took awhile to recover from being emotionally used. In the long run, I know that I made the right decision early into a lopsided relationship. It hurts to be ‘right’ sometimes, but better to recover from minor injury of a rebound dating relationship compared to the alternative…

OK about rebound relationships my ex-fiance and I dated for 3.5 years and broke up in July. I met my new bf in November and now we are in love. I dated a couple of people shortly after my ex and I broke up but nothing serious. My new bf and I are getting more and more serious and I don’t this to be a rebound relationship. It’s not that I am afraid of being alone-I actually enjoyed being single and dating around for awhile but then I met my boyfriend and he is simply everything I ever wanted. How do I prevent us from being another rebound statistic?

In regard to rebound relationships I had a long-term relationship with a Deacon. I lost my virginity to him after his repeated pressuring. He left me after a year, because he said he “just had a feeling” that our rebound relationship “was not meant to be.” Of course, that did not stop him from calling me at night, and sleeping with me post-breakup. I just found out a few days ago that he started seeing a twenty-year old girl who works at a fast food restaurant. Throughout our post-breakup get-togethers (rebound relationships) he always told me there was no one else he was with… but now I know that he was seeing that girl just a few days after he left me. I feel so stupid for believing his lies.

Part of me wants to tell his church about the real kind of person he is. But he always tells me that no one will believe me, and they’ll just think I’m a psycho ex-girlfriend. I probably won’t ever say anything, because I’m worried that it would be more out of vengeance than concern, anyway.

Regarding rebound dating relationships, I just got out of a almost 3 year relationship. I had to leave the relationship because some of my needs were not being met. I’m a little hurt sure. I know its only going to take me about 2 months to get “over” this. Over all the relationship was great compared to all the others and we are friends.

Now I do like a guy that I meet not to long ago. But in no way are we serious. At least not yet. We have a lot in common and I dont want this to be a rebound dating relationshp, and I’m sure it wont be.I have been in rebound relationships before and everything moves way to fast.

In regard to rebound relationships, how do you pray for someone that is victim to lies and manipulation. my fiancee got confused, conflicted over marriage in general and a guy she works with. she told me about it and told me she needed space, i accepted that expecting her to come around. my exwife got a hold of her and told her a bunch of lies about me. my now ex-fiancee will have nothing to do with me and is with the other guy. he is an emotional predator and used manipulation to get her attention in the first place

we did go fast, but i’m not sure this is a rebound dating relationship since we were friends from the past. there was chemistry then but we were so young. when i got back in touch with her she was living with a guy. she said that the relationship was emotionally dead for months and she just didn’t have a reason to ask him to leave, they were living as roommates in separate rooms.

Wow you so called christians have very loose morality, you’re all fooling around without being married. I guess that is what Jesus meant in Matthew 15:8 “This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me.”

In regard to rebound dating relationships, I was in a 9 year relationship and found out my ex had cheated on me once while drunk. He didn’t tell me about it for a long time, but I couldn’t forgive him and we separated. While we were separated, I started hanging out with a guy from work, and things got serious. I got a divorce and soon after, I got remarried. Now I keep thinking I have wronged my ex, that I should have been there for him, and that I don’t know what I am doing. I love my husband, but at times my love for my ex outweighs that love. I know that my husband loves me very much, and is afraid that I am going to leave him, and at this point I have thought about it so much that I have a hard time believing myself when I tell him I am not going anywhere. He has done nothing wrong except for wanting to be with me and to love me, and all I can do is think of my ex and how much I still love him. I don’t know what to do, and wish desperately that I had not opened the door to a relationship until I was ready. At the time I felt that God was bringing us together to heal my hurt over my ex, but now I am not sure at all that I have done the right thing.

Rebound relationships are never good. I once fell in that trap with a childhood friend who had started asking me out when I was around 15 years and when I was 21 and just had my second baby he started to show interest again. Because I just came out of a painful relationship with the father of my kids, he didn’t have to convince me much. I visited him and unfortunately we had sex; shameful was the fact that it was my first visit to him. A few days after that it was New Years Eve of 2006, his girlfriend rocked up at his place where we had a party with friends. It was a chaotic outcome, she screamed at him and also approached me but not volently. However, she told me all the ins and outs of their relationship. It was a painful realisation that I was nothing but another one of his sex objects. However I thanked God that he watched over me that night because we had planned to have sex again on that night.
I also realise that I didn’t feel anything for that man, all I wanted was to feel loved and needed after the heartbreak I had experienced. I have forgiven him even though we just went seperate ways without discussing what had happened, i guess deep down we both know it was just a big mistake.
We still hang around the same group of friends since we are all childhood friends and somehow we’ve both managed to not act akward around each other because of what happened.

Thanks,

I recently broke up with my ex after being in a 2 year relationship. 2 weeks after we decided to end things he started to date another girl who goes to the same college as me and by no means is my college large at all. He told me that i should be happy that he waited 2 whole weeks after our break up to go out with this girl! Also this girl knew who i was and knew that i was going out with him and she had liked him so she added me on facebook and i guessing when she saw that we had ended the relationship she went after him. The reason why we ended things is because we didnt see a futre and we decided to end things then so we could stay on a good note soo much for that right? I feel like i never got the time to heal before i have to start thinking about him with another girl! He wont even say sorry to me for the pain im in not the pain he has put me through and he stood up for her after knowing her for 3 weeks and didnt even try to see it from my point of view after knowing me for 2 years! In the end i keep telling myself if he is happy then im happy for him cauz in the end i only want the best in life for him but i some how dont think the same goes for him. Do you think this is a rebound relationship he is in or somthing that might actually last? Its funny he always use to call me immature in our relationship but i some how thinks he is the immature one now.

I agree with the article, but it does not apply to everyone who is newly divorced.
I was in an abusive relationship for 2.5 years and I have been divorced for about a month now. No kids. Don’t have any heartaches and I am at peace with myself. I feel strong actually!
I had come a long way before I was even officially divorced. I could say I was lucky, because I had endless support from friends and family. Growing up in a normal loving family made all the difference for me.. it helped me see right and wrong all along in my marriage. And above all, it helped me correct myself about what I was looking for. This experience has only made it much more clearer for me. I have a clear definition of what I want and need in my head.
It can happen that you meet someone who has many of the qualities you are looking for in a person. You can’t decide when you are going to meet someone, it just happens. But you can decide if you are ready, emotionally available, healed to date or not. And if you feel like you are not, and he/she is right for you, he/she will wait for you. Friendship is a nice start to a strong relationship they say. I agree. It’s all about companionship, right?
So I think it is wonderful if you meet someone and want to date again and it should happen to everyone. Maybe start slow, then date, and for sure go even slower about the next stages as well! Slow is good, slow is great!!

Y’all should go to Jesus in prayer (even if you have to go on a fast), live it at his feet….he is the healer and more often than not, we tend not to acknowledge his presence in our lifes…(Read Psalm 91…The Message Translation)
i have a similar situation(this time i’m in the deciding stage, on if i should start something with him), but after reading this note and comments…i’ve realise that it will only break my heart and confidence. So i’m already saying NO to that relationship.
@Lindiwe…i think you’re on the right track, just take it SLOW and keep your eyes opened, sex will cloud ur vision of the truth and remb “Your body is a temple of God”.

My boyfriend and I were together for 2 years when he randomly one day said that he didnt feel the same about me and ended it when hours before he was telling me how much he loved me!

I was heartbroken and very confused however we kept in contact and things seemed on the up, he was flirty and calling me pet names and giving lots of kisses on the end of conversations (instant messaging) then one day 2 weeks ago I find out he has a new girlfriend. (4 weeks to the day after we broke up and 3 weeks after he told me that he still loves me but needs some time to be single!)

I hope and pray every day that this is a rebound relationship as i love him with all my heart. Im seeing him in one week at a friends birthday, please, could anyone give advice as to what I can do to win back his heart? i really miss him. Thank you so much.

Jan, your short stint separation/divorce sounds a lot like mine. You were in a state of divorce long before the ten years were up. Much of what you experienced falls in line with emotional and verbal abuse. True love cannot survive in this type of environment. My ex was the same way. To date, he cannot think of anything he has done wrong. He now lives with his new friend and plans to marry soon (his fourth).

What I am doing and I hope you can do is well, is start to healing and get on with a new life with someone who loves, respects and treats you like a queen. That would more than likely not be your ex since he has moved on. Use your energy more constructively to get your self ready for “the new man” one day. Find things to do that make you happy and begin identifying your needs, goals and expectations from future relationships. Also, take notes of what you contributed to the divorce and what he contributed. Try not to keep choosing the same type of man as this is usually our biggest problem. That’s why the downtime from a divorce is a good time to assess what went wrong and how you can improve in the future.

Hang in there.

I met someone very special in August of last year. We started dating and we were having a great time and we share a lot of the same interests in life. She is perfect for me. She soon told me that she had ended a 2 yr relationship in May and she ask me to forgive her if she was feeling needy or insecure. We have seen each other about once a week or two ever since then. Also, her grandpa, who raised her recently died and her dad is also with terminal cancer and these things are obviously affecting her. I do not want to be that rebound guy. I love her to death and I believe that if it wasnt for her current situation, we could have something special. Last weekend we had a great time snow tubing. I picked her at 8 am on a Sunday and we drove two hours on a very cold Sunday. If she didnt want me around, I doubt she would accept seeing me so early on a Sunday. I need advice, what shoud I do, say to her?? I get the feeling I need to give her her space tp heal and not see her for a while eventhough I would miss her dearly but if I want her in the long run, I feel like I should do this. If I write her a letter, what tone should I use?

Thank you so much in advance!

I met my husband before his divorce was final in 2009. Needless to say, it has been a very hard year for us. Being in a rebound marriage has been very trying for us both. It has been healthy at times and there have been regrets on my part about getting involved but I feel dedicated to make my marriage work. It just hurts and I have to keep things in perspective because he is going through a hard time. But I sometimes feel slighted that he gave me the wrong impression and I struggle with this every time there is a problem involving his ex. He wants to talk about his past often, and tells me that he feels better that he was able to get things off his chest. Really, I am thinking, it has been since 2008 when they separated. It is now 2010 and you still feel good about getting things off your chest about your ex to your current wife. I am a women and I have experienced a prior divorce, but I cannot relate to him at all. We separated and it was over, no friends after wards. Cut and done. I feel like I made a poor decision in getting married, and not sure what to do now.

I was with my wife for 17 years, caught her finally after denying she was having an affair. she turned it around and blamed me for neglecting her, and so on. it’s been 3 months since i exposed her affair. on facebook she is listed as engaged, i checked her bfs’ facebook and it says still single and loooking for dating.. we have children who are teens now. we used to txt but it always turned out nasty in the end; he is so caring, buys me things, we have the best sex ever, he treats me nice. It always seems to be what he does for her, it’s never what she does for him. she was a self centred person, never took responsibility for anything she did to me, and now she takes every opportunity to tell me how happy she is and her bf is everything I wasn’t. I’m not a bad person, i tried my best to live with her (she came back with our children 8 yrs ago after being with a man for 4 yrs after the man beat her). Now i’m taking a stand, not txtng or replying. telling her she can contact our children to set up visits, kids live with me. deep down i think she still does care but i would never consider being with her agin unless there’s a lot of counseling and alot of hardwork, but i’m not waiting. i’m healing my wounds, healing myself and my soul. the reason why i say she may stil have feelings for me is why else would she go out of her way to say how happy she is, how loving this guy is, how he tries to buy her love with gifts and still holds anger and resentment for me, like it was my fault she had an affair. am i doing the right thing by going forward and not having any contact with her? Please I need advice and guidance and your thoughts. I can take it.

Hi all. First of all, I have to state that I’m not Christian or Muslim, since I was physically abused on my childhood by a priest (non sexually), but I want to hear the answers given by wise and peaceful people like you.

Here’s my history:

I left a relationship 2 years ago, and felt so hurted I thought I would never get in love again or meet the woman of my dreams, ever.

I moved to work into another corporation, and 2 months ago a lovely woman of 23 (I’m 31 and look like 25) moved to my office.
We made eye contact, and soon she was sitting near to me or directly at my side, and we enjoy our company very much in our office breaks. We love the same music, she talks a lot to me and I’m a good listener, she presented me her best female friend (who is 26 yo) and I had some beers with them at the end of the day. I returned soon to home that day because of some obligations.

I asked her on a date, but she insisted in going with her female friend. She’s left a relationship 4 months ago. I don’t want to be the rebound.

Finally I cancelled the date because she forced me (via TXT/SMS) in a “hurry” schedule to meet her, like in a sort of test to see if I am “needy”, and I don’t tolerate these types of behaviour so I saw no need to reward them. We agreed in dating another day.

but, in the other hand, we communicate at a level never reached before with another person, and she thinks the same(but won’t say it to me directly)

A few days ago I entered my profile in a social site (please note these type of sites run large databases with millions of users)

I entered my profile in order to meet old friends. But I tested other capabilities, and I found one to check your best mate in Love…
So I clicked the button and… Voilà, There she was, my workmate, among millions,the first in the line!!! God works in mysterious ways!!!!

We interchanged some humorous remarks, but she is absent from the site since then. I’m in my second day of holidays, so I won’t see her again until a week later.

I note she loves me, but she is afraid of committing to true love. She is so special to me, I won’t mind “taking it slow and easy” what would you reccomend? Lots of thanks in advance.

@kelly,

i recommend you give him his time and that you focus on improving your own life in the process. it will be hard, especially if he starts dating again and it isn’t you. but you will save yourself alot of pain. you are not “cut out completely”. i’m sure there are many times he thinks of you. but let it be for now just that… thoughts. someday in the future the answers will reveal itself. take care of yourself.

hi.. i have just ended an 11year long emotionally abusive relationship about a month ago, i ran into an old friend i used to date when we were both still quite young. he has also recently divorced after a five year marriage. at first it seemed like we were destined to run into each other, both single, young and carefree. we exchanged numbers, text messages and we went on 3 dates. which all went great, cause he is really into me and same on my side. he is very interested in my life, family , work, interests ect. we slept together on second date, which we both realise was like they say , jumping the gun and he decided we should take things a bit slow because he treasures what he has with me. and get to no each other once again as it was fifteen years ago we dated. i think i mite have scared him of a bit by telling him how i feel about him and how he makes me feel. he told me in a very nice way to stop pushing him and that i was acting like his wife. i really do like this guy and i dnt want to lose him… as of yet, he had asked to go somewher tomorow nite and we could speak about what is on the mind. im so scared to go as i am afraid he will tell me i am to insecure for him…i am not sure if i hav to go or do i just wait and see what his response is , cause we have both kind of been ignoring each other now for two days, do i call him or should i wait for him.. pls. advice….

Hey everyone

I don’t want to sound like a bad person because I believe I’m not I always try to do the right thing

So my ex broke up with me because she cheated on me, I was destroyed by it.

I meet a really nice girl about a month later and we started dating, I really like her but I still love my ex.

I don’t want my ex I want nice girl and I want to keep her, I dint want her to be s rebound or her to feel like a rebound

I was engaged to a man I used to work with. After our break up, he quickly moved on to a relationship that didn’t work out. Months passed by and he started looking for me again. This time around, he wanted to just “hang out with me” while he figured out what he wanted to do with his life, because according to him, he was a “confussed person.” I let him back into my life because I loved him and unfortunately still do. Unfortunately, things took an unexpected turn, weeks later after our “reconection” I found out he had become really “good friends” with another woman from our work place who had recently broke up with her ex-fiance. I found out mutual flirting texts from each other, all happening maybe from before and during the time he was looking for me. Such discovery made me feel so stupid and humilliated. Later, I found out this woman has spent nights at his apartment the times me and him didn’t hang out. I noticed that when I tried to get a hold of him and was unsuccesful was because he was spending time with her. He keeps on denying there is anything going on between the two of them, she has denied everything too.

They both claim they only hang out as friends but I don’t believe either. If such was a case why would my ex-fiance, who’s trying to keep me in his life hide who his friends are? Why she, a woman I thought was my friend, would not even attempt to come clean about becoming such good friends with the man I still love? She would not like it if I was to hang out with her ex-fiance in the same way, I know this because they were together over 7 years and they only broke up no more than 4 months ago.

As it is obvious, I feel insulted, humiliated, and stupid. The worst part of it all is that I don’t know how to ignore this man when he looks for me. It hurts so much to know that even if I ignore him, he has replacement ready to go.

I started dating my now ex-bf in August a couple years ago… he and his 2nd wife had split as of February that year. We had a whirlwind beginning with him telling me he loved me within a week of actually meeting and we had some intense conversations about me not wanting to be his ‘re-bound’, etc etc. He SWORE to me I wasn’t, that he was done with it, that they hadn’t been in a typical marriage situation for the 2 years prior to when they decided to call it quits, that he was ready for a ‘real relationship’, etc. Long story short is after 2 years and alot of me being there for him emotionally, physically & mentally through alot of life’s curveballs, he dumped me through a text message. He literally has not spoken a word to me since and can’t even be in the same room / vicinity as me even though I’m still friends and ‘family’ with everyone in his family and I still see and talk to his kids. I realized I was a rebound when I found out he dumped me on Thursday, took another woman to dinner on Saturday, told her he was madly in love with her on Tuesday and the 2 of them set the date for their ‘wedding’. The defining ‘ah-hah’ moment was when it hit me and I thought it was kind of funny that he and I and our kids had been out looking at a house to move into on the Sunday before he texted me to break it off. He lives in a city an hour away from me and we were together every weekend and every holiday over the past 2 years and it was always me going to him, rarely ever him coming to me. After everything we went through together I admit it hurt but I know now it wasn’t me… it was never me or even about me… he’s looking for something to fill a void in his life and the one he’s with now is just someone to fill the void where myself and other unresolved issues are until reality hits and he moves on again. He has withdrawn from his family and his kids and I sincerely feel he has major depression issues based on things that have happened in his life. I truly from the bottom of my heart wish him the best and hope he finds what he’s looking for but at the same time I now realize the signs to look for to keep myself away from another massive heart-break.

My ex broke up with me after almost 5 months dating. There was a good friend of him involved who also pretended to be my friend. She herself was going through a bad break up agter an 8 year relationship. They came closer to each other after their respective break ups and now they are dating each other. They said it all recently started. But i always knew there was something between them as early as 4 weeks after out break up. Sure this is a double rebound. She has been on a therapy because of her break up. She is unstable and not self confident. I mean she is carring a lot of baggage from her former relationship. Wheather it lasts or not it is not m problem. I hope they are happy, after all i have been through thanks to them! But my question is, wh she got involved with him? Why thete are women without moral and no codes for living?