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Rebound Relationships Dating Advice

What exactly is a rebound relationship or dating on the rebound? Rebound relationship dating is an intense dating relationship that begins very soon after a long-term relationship goes south. As one experienced single person described it: “A rebound relationship is kinda like jumping from one moving train to another. There’s no time for thinking about what you are about to do. Rebound dating is both exciting and dangerous at the same time.” Now that sounds intense!

The fact is, rebound relationships get bad marks from most single women and men who have tried them. The reason is that instead of being that perfect medicine for mending a broken heart, most rebound relationships fail, and consequently cause more pain for both dating partners.

If you are in a rebound dating relationship now, or just thinking about entering one, consider the following dating advice tips in order to protect yourself:

Rebound Relationship Advice for Those Dating on the Rebound

Rebound Relationships Tip 1: Only Fools Rush In

Ending one relationship and rebounding immediately into the next one, is not healthy for you, or fair to the other person. The reason for this is that you need time to grieve and heal before truly being emotionally ready for a new person.

While it’s natural to feel vulnerable and needy immediately after a breakup or divorce, fight the temptation to rebound so quickly into a new dating situation. It may dull your pain, but slow your healing.

Instead, take this time to evaluate what went wrong in the previous relationship, and think about how you can improve yourself for the next.

Rebound Relationships Tip 2: Get Counsel and Accountability

Before taking the plunge into a rebound relationship, get wise counsel from people who know and love you, and who can keep you accountable to making sound judgements.

Unfortunately, people involved in rebound relationships often seek a “quick fix” for their pain and damaged self-esteem. This leaves the rebound dater open for sexual and emotional manipulation by unsavory types who actually prey on the broken hearted.

Another problem with dating on the rebound is that people who do this tend to seek out the same type of person in the previous relationship, which predictably ends with the same results. That’s why it’s important to have several people who can help keep you centered during your healing process.

Rebound Relationship Advice for the Person Dating the Rebounder

Know the Odds

If you’re looking for a long-term commitment, dating in a rebound relationship is definitely not the thing to do. We counsel against entering a dating relationship with someone you know who:

  • Has been out of their previous relationship less than a year
  • Has shown by their words and behavior that they are not over their previous relationship

If you are dating a rebounder as decribed above, the chances are great that you a just a “transitory” person. Once the rebounder in the rebound relationship emotionally heals, they usually end up leaving the other person.

Don’t Let your Guard Down

This is usually not good advice, especially if you are attempting to build an emotionally intimate friendship. However, for your own protection, take it very slow with the rebounder, honestly explaining to him or her that you do not want to be a rebound relationship statistic.

This will take lots of self-control because rebound daters are very needy people who will attempt to fill the void, and blunt the pain in their lives by getting real close, real soon. Don’t take the bait, and save yourself much pain.

If you are a single person, feel free to share your experiences with rebound relationships

Christian Dating Service


  1. John White

    My friendship with my girlfriend was broke off last October, She said she did not want me to go over to her place anymore. I asked why and she stated I took her friendship for granted and that I hid her from my parents. My parents never met her. I feared rejection by them because I have never been married and have no children and she has been divorced twice and has 3 children. Just last week I had a co-worker contact her to talk to her because I still have very strong feelings for her and we had expressed that we love one another on many occasions. She told my friend that she has a new love in her life and they have already exchanged engagement rings. Can you tell if she is telling the truth? It is hard to believe it has been only 2.5 months since the break up and she has already rushed into a new relationship. Is this a reboud relationship and will it last? Will she ever come back. I am in agony and have asked God for resolve. Please help.

  2. Roxy C

    I recently broke up with my ex after being in a 2 year relationship. 2 weeks after we decided to end things he started to date another girl who goes to the same college as me and by no means is my college large at all. He told me that i should be happy that he waited 2 whole weeks after our break up to go out with this girl! Also this girl knew who i was and knew that i was going out with him and she had liked him so she added me on facebook and i guessing when she saw that we had ended the relationship she went after him. The reason why we ended things is because we didnt see a futre and we decided to end things then so we could stay on a good note soo much for that right? I feel like i never got the time to heal before i have to start thinking about him with another girl! He wont even say sorry to me for the pain im in not the pain he has put me through and he stood up for her after knowing her for 3 weeks and didnt even try to see it from my point of view after knowing me for 2 years! In the end i keep telling myself if he is happy then im happy for him cauz in the end i only want the best in life for him but i some how dont think the same goes for him. Do you think this is a rebound relationship he is in or somthing that might actually last? Its funny he always use to call me immature in our relationship but i some how thinks he is the immature one now.

  3. julie

    i need help. i am still in love with my ex. we have been split for five months and i can tell he still loves me too. i am in a rebound relationship but i have moved in with the new guy. my ex just started dating a new girl, but we still feel the sttraction. what shoukld i do? should i stay with my new boyfriend and not risk hurting him or should i go back to my ex? i am really confused and depressed i need good unbiased advice and quick! please someone help. my email is please comment!!

  4. Adriana

    I agree with the article, but it does not apply to everyone who is newly divorced.
    I was in an abusive relationship for 2.5 years and I have been divorced for about a month now. No kids. Don’t have any heartaches and I am at peace with myself. I feel strong actually!
    I had come a long way before I was even officially divorced. I could say I was lucky, because I had endless support from friends and family. Growing up in a normal loving family made all the difference for me.. it helped me see right and wrong all along in my marriage. And above all, it helped me correct myself about what I was looking for. This experience has only made it much more clearer for me. I have a clear definition of what I want and need in my head.
    It can happen that you meet someone who has many of the qualities you are looking for in a person. You can’t decide when you are going to meet someone, it just happens. But you can decide if you are ready, emotionally available, healed to date or not. And if you feel like you are not, and he/she is right for you, he/she will wait for you. Friendship is a nice start to a strong relationship they say. I agree. It’s all about companionship, right?
    So I think it is wonderful if you meet someone and want to date again and it should happen to everyone. Maybe start slow, then date, and for sure go even slower about the next stages as well! Slow is good, slow is great!!

  5. Lindiwe DD

    I am in a relationship of four years with my boyfriend who does not want to be a Christian,but I met a Christian man of fourty years of age,having two kids and unpleasant marraige with a non Christian wife.I wanted to leave him for his family,but he refused telling me that he wants to marry me and have kids with me.We are taking things very slowly as he said he need to make sure that our future is comfortable,we haven’t slept together as we want to do the correct things as Christians.I dearly love him.Pls H

  6. Nikita

    Y’all should go to Jesus in prayer (even if you have to go on a fast), live it at his feet….he is the healer and more often than not, we tend not to acknowledge his presence in our lifes…(Read Psalm 91…The Message Translation)
    i have a similar situation(this time i’m in the deciding stage, on if i should start something with him), but after reading this note and comments…i’ve realise that it will only break my heart and confidence. So i’m already saying NO to that relationship.
    @Lindiwe…i think you’re on the right track, just take it SLOW and keep your eyes opened, sex will cloud ur vision of the truth and remb “Your body is a temple of God”.

  7. Sean O'Connell

    My ex cheated in me after three years in October. We have a dughter together. In December the affair ended and we started talking again. She told me she loved me to pieces and made a big mistake. We started going to counseling to repair our relationship. I had a lot of anger issues and moved out again after a week. We worked on things for two months. Counseling mostly. In the beginning of April she told me she loved me and we had a great family day at the zoo. Mid April after a few weeks of thinking she tells me she wants me in her life. Also around that time her friend told me she talks about me all the time. About that time she ran into a guy she new from high school 15 years ago. Talked to him for a week, dated him for a week, and then moved him in with her. Of course I was shocked after she just told me she loved me and wanted me in her life. Question 1 – Does this girl really have feelings for me and is she just confused?
    Question 2 – Is she in a rebound relationship just trying to fill the void and see if I am what she wants?
    Question 3 – What are the chances of the new relationship working out?
    Question 4 – What should I do to make her want to comeback? The best I have heard is to cut off all contact from her and let the new relationship run its course.

    Thank you,


  8. Sophie

    My boyfriend and I were together for 2 years when he randomly one day said that he didnt feel the same about me and ended it when hours before he was telling me how much he loved me!

    I was heartbroken and very confused however we kept in contact and things seemed on the up, he was flirty and calling me pet names and giving lots of kisses on the end of conversations (instant messaging) then one day 2 weeks ago I find out he has a new girlfriend. (4 weeks to the day after we broke up and 3 weeks after he told me that he still loves me but needs some time to be single!)

    I hope and pray every day that this is a rebound relationship as i love him with all my heart. Im seeing him in one week at a friends birthday, please, could anyone give advice as to what I can do to win back his heart? i really miss him. Thank you so much.

  9. jan

    I left my husband after 10 year of being cut down and no friends and hardly got to see my family and when they did come he made them feel uncomfortable and then when they leave we fight over them coming, before I left he argued with me all the time over stupid things and kept on bringing up divorce and when I did leave I left while he was at work and he never called to see why i left, I think he was waiting for me to and then I find out he is dating someone less than 2 weeks later and still had not called,now he lives with her for 4 or 5 months and the divorce is over, I still think of him and want to get him out of my head, I left him and he was hard to live with but I think the reason I think of him is cause I have nobody and not sure I want to but sometimes wish I did, but not sure how I should feel, I have family I spend time with but I do miss someone to tell me they love me and hold me and tell me things I want to hear. I just can not beleave he never called I guess he already had her and did not ever really care about me in the first place and that hurts. It is hard when I run into them together but not as bad as it was. She even called me to have me tell her why I left him and I explained all of it. Just confused in a way I want a man and then I dont all at the same time.

  10. Judy

    Jan, your short stint separation/divorce sounds a lot like mine. You were in a state of divorce long before the ten years were up. Much of what you experienced falls in line with emotional and verbal abuse. True love cannot survive in this type of environment. My ex was the same way. To date, he cannot think of anything he has done wrong. He now lives with his new friend and plans to marry soon (his fourth).

    What I am doing and I hope you can do is well, is start to healing and get on with a new life with someone who loves, respects and treats you like a queen. That would more than likely not be your ex since he has moved on. Use your energy more constructively to get your self ready for “the new man” one day. Find things to do that make you happy and begin identifying your needs, goals and expectations from future relationships. Also, take notes of what you contributed to the divorce and what he contributed. Try not to keep choosing the same type of man as this is usually our biggest problem. That’s why the downtime from a divorce is a good time to assess what went wrong and how you can improve in the future.

    Hang in there.

  11. helen

    I googled rebound relationships to find some comfort for my broken heart. There is a lot of pain out there, and certainly much confusion. I feel that if I write, I will absolve some of my pain. I am in the process of ending an emotionally abusive 14 year marriage, actually the papers are being signed. I was later informed by a therapist that it appears that was never in a marriage to start. If i never had a true relationship, am I really rebounding? How sad to find that after having children and a home, I never had a true partner. I know that I should have waited, but I too, find myself searching for someone; loneliness, companionship and just wanting to experience the feelings I have been lacking. I got involved with a man, who I met on a airplane and how romantic it was. His wife cheated and he is rebounding, he admitted after 2 months, that he still loves her. I encouraged him to see how precious love is and forgive her. He said love isn’t enough, but that not all relationships end ugly. ( He still has their picture oh his cell phone) which indicated to me, that he is definitely not even in the rebound stage. He said that being on the rebound is destructive and we are just bad timing. I know that this is the truth. My problem.. why am I grieving over a man I knew 2 months, when I did shed a tear over a man I was with for 17 years. It has been two weeks.. two very long weeks. I pray for the strength to move forward and to heal. I pray that he finds the answers that he needs and the strength to do what is right.

  12. Joe

    I met someone very special in August of last year. We started dating and we were having a great time and we share a lot of the same interests in life. She is perfect for me. She soon told me that she had ended a 2 yr relationship in May and she ask me to forgive her if she was feeling needy or insecure. We have seen each other about once a week or two ever since then. Also, her grandpa, who raised her recently died and her dad is also with terminal cancer and these things are obviously affecting her. I do not want to be that rebound guy. I love her to death and I believe that if it wasnt for her current situation, we could have something special. Last weekend we had a great time snow tubing. I picked her at 8 am on a Sunday and we drove two hours on a very cold Sunday. If she didnt want me around, I doubt she would accept seeing me so early on a Sunday. I need advice, what shoud I do, say to her?? I get the feeling I need to give her her space tp heal and not see her for a while eventhough I would miss her dearly but if I want her in the long run, I feel like I should do this. If I write her a letter, what tone should I use?

    Thank you so much in advance!

  13. Lor

    I recently was approached by a friend who had just ended a year-long relationship a few days earlier. He told me that he’s always been interested in me, but could never act on it because of his girlfriend. He himself stated that he likes to immediately get into new relationships after one ends, so that he doesn’t dwell on it and become depressed. He denies that ours would be a rebound relationship, but I’m obviously doubtful. As much as I like him, I don’t want to be the rebound girl.

  14. Anonymous

    I met my husband before his divorce was final in 2009. Needless to say, it has been a very hard year for us. Being in a rebound marriage has been very trying for us both. It has been healthy at times and there have been regrets on my part about getting involved but I feel dedicated to make my marriage work. It just hurts and I have to keep things in perspective because he is going through a hard time. But I sometimes feel slighted that he gave me the wrong impression and I struggle with this every time there is a problem involving his ex. He wants to talk about his past often, and tells me that he feels better that he was able to get things off his chest. Really, I am thinking, it has been since 2008 when they separated. It is now 2010 and you still feel good about getting things off your chest about your ex to your current wife. I am a women and I have experienced a prior divorce, but I cannot relate to him at all. We separated and it was over, no friends after wards. Cut and done. I feel like I made a poor decision in getting married, and not sure what to do now.

  15. DeJah

    I’m dating a man who is going through a divorce and so am I. It seems that we both have the qualities that our spouses lacked. We clicked instantly and as the article predicted, we move pretty fast. We’ve already had sex once. I really care for this guy and I know he cares for me as well. The problem is that I don’t want us to end up using each other as rebounds. Is there any way that I can slow things down but keep our connection?

  16. paula

    I am going through a divorce. My husband of almost 18 years said he was over being married to me. I was told that I didn’t do enough in our marriage or around the home. Upon separating I found out he had been talking to an old girlfriend from 19 years earlier. He was hiding these details from me. He talked to her or texted her at all hours of the day and night. He sent messages to her telling her how pretty she was and basically lusting after her. According to the Bible is this considered adultery even if he said he had no sexual relations with her.

  17. leroy

    I was with my wife for 17 years, caught her finally after denying she was having an affair. she turned it around and blamed me for neglecting her, and so on. it’s been 3 months since i exposed her affair. on facebook she is listed as engaged, i checked her bfs’ facebook and it says still single and loooking for dating.. we have children who are teens now. we used to txt but it always turned out nasty in the end; he is so caring, buys me things, we have the best sex ever, he treats me nice. It always seems to be what he does for her, it’s never what she does for him. she was a self centred person, never took responsibility for anything she did to me, and now she takes every opportunity to tell me how happy she is and her bf is everything I wasn’t. I’m not a bad person, i tried my best to live with her (she came back with our children 8 yrs ago after being with a man for 4 yrs after the man beat her). Now i’m taking a stand, not txtng or replying. telling her she can contact our children to set up visits, kids live with me. deep down i think she still does care but i would never consider being with her agin unless there’s a lot of counseling and alot of hardwork, but i’m not waiting. i’m healing my wounds, healing myself and my soul. the reason why i say she may stil have feelings for me is why else would she go out of her way to say how happy she is, how loving this guy is, how he tries to buy her love with gifts and still holds anger and resentment for me, like it was my fault she had an affair. am i doing the right thing by going forward and not having any contact with her? Please I need advice and guidance and your thoughts. I can take it.

  18. just want to be loved

    My ex-boyfriend of 3 years just broke up with me about 3 months ago…since the break up he has gotten with another woman two weeks after we broke up and they are saying they are in love. I have recently slept with my ex and I told his new GF she does not believe me but i probaly wouldnt either…my question is does he still have feelings for me or is it really over, will this relationship with this new girl work because I still am very in love with him.

  19. Mark Davis

    Hi all. First of all, I have to state that I’m not Christian or Muslim, since I was physically abused on my childhood by a priest (non sexually), but I want to hear the answers given by wise and peaceful people like you.

    Here’s my history:

    I left a relationship 2 years ago, and felt so hurted I thought I would never get in love again or meet the woman of my dreams, ever.

    I moved to work into another corporation, and 2 months ago a lovely woman of 23 (I’m 31 and look like 25) moved to my office.
    We made eye contact, and soon she was sitting near to me or directly at my side, and we enjoy our company very much in our office breaks. We love the same music, she talks a lot to me and I’m a good listener, she presented me her best female friend (who is 26 yo) and I had some beers with them at the end of the day. I returned soon to home that day because of some obligations.

    I asked her on a date, but she insisted in going with her female friend. She’s left a relationship 4 months ago. I don’t want to be the rebound.

    Finally I cancelled the date because she forced me (via TXT/SMS) in a “hurry” schedule to meet her, like in a sort of test to see if I am “needy”, and I don’t tolerate these types of behaviour so I saw no need to reward them. We agreed in dating another day.

    but, in the other hand, we communicate at a level never reached before with another person, and she thinks the same(but won’t say it to me directly)

    A few days ago I entered my profile in a social site (please note these type of sites run large databases with millions of users)

    I entered my profile in order to meet old friends. But I tested other capabilities, and I found one to check your best mate in Love…
    So I clicked the button and… VoilĂ , There she was, my workmate, among millions,the first in the line!!! God works in mysterious ways!!!!

    We interchanged some humorous remarks, but she is absent from the site since then. I’m in my second day of holidays, so I won’t see her again until a week later.

    I note she loves me, but she is afraid of committing to true love. She is so special to me, I won’t mind “taking it slow and easy” what would you reccomend? Lots of thanks in advance.

  20. Kelly

    Wow – were to start. I found out my husband was cheating on me and we started the divorce process. 3 months later the husband of the women my husband was cheating with called me to tell me he believed his wife and my husband were cheating. I told him he was right, that I was so sorry. We spoke for a while, he was divorcing his wife as she wanted to be with my husband. He asked if I’d like to meet for coffee, I agreed. We meet and spoke for 2 hours. He is an incredible man. Anyway, to make a long story short, we were kind of inseperable after that. It started out as supporting eachother through such a tough time. Then, we realized we feel in love and it was intense. Both of us being Christian and still married we wanted to be careful. Have boundries, we spoke about the fact that what we were experiencing was probably not real. However we both felt like God had a hand in us meeting. We dated for 6 months, believing we would someday get married and have children together. My Divorce was finalized 3 months before his. During the 6 months he would have moments of feeling like he needed to be alone, he would get depressed and feel a need to escape all reality. He even jumped on a plane to the Ukraine without telling anyone to go see his family. 3 weeks later, I jumped on a plane to bring him back as his kids needed him and running away was not the answer. He was so thankful I did that. When we got back things were great for about a month. Then he just broke everything off. He said he needs to be alone. He said that he doesn’t want to hurt me with his emotional instability. He cut off all contact. When we last spoke, it was a 3 hour discussion and he was a mess. He is so lost and it hurts so badly that he cut me out so completely. We left is as…..if you love something, set it free, if it comes back to you, it’s yours….if not, it was never meant to be. He wants me to move on and forget about him; and if he ever comes back……he said he will be ALL mine! I just don’t know if I should wait or not. Was this relationship doomed from the moment we meet? I loved him more than I’ve every loved anyone and I miss him terribly!

  21. pondering


    i recommend you give him his time and that you focus on improving your own life in the process. it will be hard, especially if he starts dating again and it isn’t you. but you will save yourself alot of pain. you are not “cut out completely”. i’m sure there are many times he thinks of you. but let it be for now just that… thoughts. someday in the future the answers will reveal itself. take care of yourself.

  22. unsure

    I was with my exboyfriend for 6 years. We’ve really gone through a lot, he was abusive, controlling, and at some point i got attracted to someone else. Then everything went back to normal for a few months, then eventually, he broke up with me saying that i cheated. I was devastated and hit rock bottom really hard. I felt, what was wrong with me? Why did i do to waste something so great? Eventually i learned, that he was really attracted to this other girl, and they became official a month after our breakup. This really pushed me to move-on, because i had to. Now, i don’t know if the new girl was his rebound.. well it doesn’t matter anymore.

    Now, just a few months after, i am seeing someone new. I am unsure if it’s a rebound reln, but i feel happy.. but still very afraid. i do not know if this will last. But now, i feel that it will be okay if it does last forever. Though in some nights, i will still cry about my ex, and i do think about my ex alot, though i do not imaging getting back with him anymore. I am afraid of taking another risk, cause ive learned that even if you’ve been with someone for so long, you still don’t know them. I am afraid to say my feelings, i am afraid to be intimate… But i always tell myself, why should i let a good thing pass just because of timing?

    I don’t know..

  23. denise

    hi.. i have just ended an 11year long emotionally abusive relationship about a month ago, i ran into an old friend i used to date when we were both still quite young. he has also recently divorced after a five year marriage. at first it seemed like we were destined to run into each other, both single, young and carefree. we exchanged numbers, text messages and we went on 3 dates. which all went great, cause he is really into me and same on my side. he is very interested in my life, family , work, interests ect. we slept together on second date, which we both realise was like they say , jumping the gun and he decided we should take things a bit slow because he treasures what he has with me. and get to no each other once again as it was fifteen years ago we dated. i think i mite have scared him of a bit by telling him how i feel about him and how he makes me feel. he told me in a very nice way to stop pushing him and that i was acting like his wife. i really do like this guy and i dnt want to lose him… as of yet, he had asked to go somewher tomorow nite and we could speak about what is on the mind. im so scared to go as i am afraid he will tell me i am to insecure for him…i am not sure if i hav to go or do i just wait and see what his response is , cause we have both kind of been ignoring each other now for two days, do i call him or should i wait for him.. pls. advice….

  24. A

    Met a guy who was instantly attracted to me. 2 1/2 weeks later he calls and we go out. During 1st date he says he waitied awhile to call because he needed to make sure things were done with his ex as they had broke up a month ago. 3 dates later, he calls and says he’s not quite over his ex. (9 month back and forth relationship for him and her). When i met him, he was of course confident it was over… I was the rebound. But took the high road with him and wished him luck. He recipricates with thanks for understanding and proceeds to say it’s not you, you are an amzing person and I had a great time with you. blah, blah. Now, I know it’s not me, timing was wrong. However he was emotionally reckless with my emotions. What I need to know from you is, do i prepare my self to hear from him again? I am moving on and refuse to be number 2 but just wanted your thoughts.

  25. anthony

    Hey everyone

    I don’t want to sound like a bad person because I believe I’m not I always try to do the right thing

    So my ex broke up with me because she cheated on me, I was destroyed by it.

    I meet a really nice girl about a month later and we started dating, I really like her but I still love my ex.

    I don’t want my ex I want nice girl and I want to keep her, I dint want her to be s rebound or her to feel like a rebound

  26. W

    Was with a girl for almost a year, we hit it off really well and became close. decided to date and eventually got really seious. Long story short we got engaged mid October, then 2 weeks later, she said “she needed time for her and her daughter.” Low and behold she has been rebounding with a few different guys, then all of a sudden I found out she’s getting married (by courts) to a guy she just met online.

    I get the feeling this rebound is gonna turn out really bad.

  27. Linda B

    I was engaged to a man I used to work with. After our break up, he quickly moved on to a relationship that didn’t work out. Months passed by and he started looking for me again. This time around, he wanted to just “hang out with me” while he figured out what he wanted to do with his life, because according to him, he was a “confussed person.” I let him back into my life because I loved him and unfortunately still do. Unfortunately, things took an unexpected turn, weeks later after our “reconection” I found out he had become really “good friends” with another woman from our work place who had recently broke up with her ex-fiance. I found out mutual flirting texts from each other, all happening maybe from before and during the time he was looking for me. Such discovery made me feel so stupid and humilliated. Later, I found out this woman has spent nights at his apartment the times me and him didn’t hang out. I noticed that when I tried to get a hold of him and was unsuccesful was because he was spending time with her. He keeps on denying there is anything going on between the two of them, she has denied everything too.

    They both claim they only hang out as friends but I don’t believe either. If such was a case why would my ex-fiance, who’s trying to keep me in his life hide who his friends are? Why she, a woman I thought was my friend, would not even attempt to come clean about becoming such good friends with the man I still love? She would not like it if I was to hang out with her ex-fiance in the same way, I know this because they were together over 7 years and they only broke up no more than 4 months ago.

    As it is obvious, I feel insulted, humiliated, and stupid. The worst part of it all is that I don’t know how to ignore this man when he looks for me. It hurts so much to know that even if I ignore him, he has replacement ready to go.

  28. Wendy

    WOW! The things we go through in relationships…my ex-fiance’ and I split up at the end of February this year. We had been together for just a little over 4 years. Circumstances kept us from going ahead and actually getting married. However, I made the big mistake of living with him outside of marriage to begin with! When things were getting settled down and I finally asked him if we were ever going to get married…that’s when things started to go downhill. It didn’t help that over the prior year or two I had discovered another side of him that sufferred from PTSD from being active duty in the Bosnian War in 1992 as well as having ended a 9 YEAR physically, emotionally and verbally abusive marriage to a woman that was a Bi-Polar alcoholic. Whew! That was a lot!. Anyway, the beginning of our relationship was everything I had ever dreamt a relationship to be. Nearly 2 1/2 years through the relationship I saw this man change immensely…became EXTREMELY withdrawn and emotionally shut off. Either way, I tried to reach him and was unsuccessful. His Mom passed away from cancer in January of this year and losing her was like a trigger to his PTSD, I’m almost sure of it. It has broken my heart as well as my children’s hearts immensely. He NEVER gave me a good reason WHY we couldn’t be together anymore…just that he needed to be alone…he didn’t want to be with me or anyone else. Guess that wasn’t true since 2 weeks later I find out he is seeing a woman 12 years older than him who dresses like tramp, is very controlling and worst of all, an ATHEIST. I’ve prayed so much for God to get through to his head and most especially his heart. I have to believe that God will get through. I just hope he gets through “in time” because this woman and he are now “supposedly” engaged and getting married this October. When we split up he said that he loved me, would always care about me and didn’t want anything to ever happen to me. NOW, he won’t speak to me, relays mean and cruel messages to me through his son an daughter in law and has become VERY withdrawn from his entire family. I’m guessing this relationship of his is a “rebound” but I pray that he figures it out and has the strength and courage to do the right thing about it before its too late. I know the chances of him getting his head/heart right are slim and most especially that he’ll ever contact me for help. However, after much needed advice from friends at church, I have FINALLY “Let go and Let GOD” handle him. Please pray for him. He REALLY needs it.

  29. Samantha

    I started dating my now ex-bf in August a couple years ago… he and his 2nd wife had split as of February that year. We had a whirlwind beginning with him telling me he loved me within a week of actually meeting and we had some intense conversations about me not wanting to be his ‘re-bound’, etc etc. He SWORE to me I wasn’t, that he was done with it, that they hadn’t been in a typical marriage situation for the 2 years prior to when they decided to call it quits, that he was ready for a ‘real relationship’, etc. Long story short is after 2 years and alot of me being there for him emotionally, physically & mentally through alot of life’s curveballs, he dumped me through a text message. He literally has not spoken a word to me since and can’t even be in the same room / vicinity as me even though I’m still friends and ‘family’ with everyone in his family and I still see and talk to his kids. I realized I was a rebound when I found out he dumped me on Thursday, took another woman to dinner on Saturday, told her he was madly in love with her on Tuesday and the 2 of them set the date for their ‘wedding’. The defining ‘ah-hah’ moment was when it hit me and I thought it was kind of funny that he and I and our kids had been out looking at a house to move into on the Sunday before he texted me to break it off. He lives in a city an hour away from me and we were together every weekend and every holiday over the past 2 years and it was always me going to him, rarely ever him coming to me. After everything we went through together I admit it hurt but I know now it wasn’t me… it was never me or even about me… he’s looking for something to fill a void in his life and the one he’s with now is just someone to fill the void where myself and other unresolved issues are until reality hits and he moves on again. He has withdrawn from his family and his kids and I sincerely feel he has major depression issues based on things that have happened in his life. I truly from the bottom of my heart wish him the best and hope he finds what he’s looking for but at the same time I now realize the signs to look for to keep myself away from another massive heart-break.

  30. steven

    WOW! I pray for and understand all of you.
    But,to those of you/us that are born-again believers in Jesus,(speaking from painful experiences myself), we ought
    not be having sex or the like with ANYONE that is NOT our
    Our hearts are precious to God and He has only good in mind for us, please,please I urge you, “flee sexual immorality”don’t stare at it,coddle it,sit with it, or any thing else you can think of,it WILL ruin ,break,destroy your/our lives!

    That is not His plan,emotions can decieve,”it is good for a man not to touch a woman”,(same is true otherwise) it doesn’t take much to start the fire, and when(most relationships won’t last) you are alone and broken hearted,
    the pain and misery is relentless!

    I love all of you and know your pain,it doesn’t have to be,
    don’t get caught up in these types of encounters,God can and will heal your hearts,He is fully ready,willing and able,
    please trust Him today!!!!

  31. Kiki

    My ex broke up with me after almost 5 months dating. There was a good friend of him involved who also pretended to be my friend. She herself was going through a bad break up agter an 8 year relationship. They came closer to each other after their respective break ups and now they are dating each other. They said it all recently started. But i always knew there was something between them as early as 4 weeks after out break up. Sure this is a double rebound. She has been on a therapy because of her break up. She is unstable and not self confident. I mean she is carring a lot of baggage from her former relationship. Wheather it lasts or not it is not m problem. I hope they are happy, after all i have been through thanks to them! But my question is, wh she got involved with him? Why thete are women without moral and no codes for living?

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