The following sex sin confession and testimony domes from an average Christian single guy:
Here comes the testiomy (I’m long winded…it’s the way God made me…bare with me)! About 3 years ago, my ex came to see me. I’ve never been able to not have sex with my ex once I see her…and she knows that! I knew scriptures & I had grown so much with my walk with God, but on the 2nd night…it went down! I had sex with her. Although I had been walking closer to God, my flesh wanted to live out the fantasies I had been having about her since I last saw her. Let’s face it…lust is hard to overcome, but remember…what you think about…you’ll eventually bring about! After we had sex, I felt horrible! The sex was good for a moment, but after it was all done and said…I realized that I had been decieved by my own desires! Up until this point, I had went a year without sex, and I had stayed out of clubs and God was doing amazing things in my life! Once I had sex with her, I felt an emptiness that I have never felt in my life before. I felt like God was so disappointed in me, and the Holy Spirit had just left my body (I will never forget that feeling in my life). Furthermore, mentally the sex wasn’t good because I knew I was selling myself out and I was dishonoring God. I remember never wanting to feel that feeling again, and I thought I would never do it again once she left, but I was wrong!
Two years later, I had grown deeper in God and 1 night I decided to give into peer pressure and go to the club because I was tired of waiting & feeling like there’s no where for me to meet people as a christian single. I met a beautiful lady that I thought I was equally yoked with, and 2 months later…after playing with temptation we had sex. Again, I felt like a loser in God’s eyes because mentally I didn’t even want to do it, but I realized physically I did. Needless to say, that relationship didn’t last because when the timing is not right for sex, it can steal true intimacy and commitment that you develop with someone while your waiting, and it leaves you with emotions that run out of control.
Finally, I truly realized that I had to give God everything that I had and that I couldn’t dance with temptation. It was hard but I made a commitment to study and learn God’s scriptures surrounding: temptations, getting through a battle, & the blessings/promises that God has for us. I called on my mentors all of the time, I started reading the bible and other books everyday, I started praying daily and changing my thoughts and actions…esentially God became the focus of everything I was doing.
As people, if we’re entertaining certain fantasies, listening to music, and watching media, making out, releasing sexual tension, or do anything else that is connected to our desires for sex (especially if you’re trying to wait) …I encourage you to realize that you’re setting yourself up for the real thing when you’re in the moment. A champion is a champion before he/she ever gets into the ring. It will be painful to go through a transformation of changing…you will have to call on God’s word and pray to him in your weakness and he’ll help you! You’ll have to be real with him, and be real with other Godly people, and they’ll help you as well. While I was going through that painful transformation (1 day at a time…it get’s easier as the days go on) I didn’t realize that God was preparing me for the biggest test that I would face so far.
Within the last 7 months, I’ve had the opportunity to have sex with women that I know very well, and that I’m highly attracted to (and that I’ve had sex with before). I declined, not because it was what I wanted to physically do (truthfully…I couldn’t believe I was declining…it was downright painful), but because I grew so close to God when I committed everything to him & my conviction was so strong! I knew it was going to hurt to bad…to feel that emptiness that I had felt before…and to me that feeling wasn’t worth it (granted God still loves us and forgives us when we feel that emptiness, but I just didn’t want to feel that feeling…it was emotionally draining).
The final test came about 2 months ago when my ex (the one that I always give in to and have sex with) informs me at the last second that she’ll be flying in, in about 2 weeks. My heart stopped! I knew that I had come so far, but I didn’t know if I could get past this test. Miraculously, we ended up in all kinds of tempting situations that I was trying to stay out of…but somehow it just seemed to work out that there we were at 10pm at night by ourselves! A war was raging in my spirit. I was going back and forth with thoughts like, “you have to have sex with her…this is what you’ve been waiting for…look at her body…God will forgive you!” Then I would think thoughts like, “you can’t do this to God…God has so much more planned for you…it will be good for the moment, but the 2 of you will be empty afterword!” I’m thankful to say that after 2 weeks of facing her, I didn’t have sex with her!
Seven months ago, I was bitter…lol. I didn’t understand why I had to go through such a painful transition of trying to wait until I got married. But, when my ex came into town expecting to have sex, and I was able to face her seductions, it was quite a testimony for both of us. I realized how far God had brought me, and that I wasn’t going to keep forsaking what God has promised me, to take what is in the present or right in front of me. As a walked out of her house, I looked up at the stars and said, “God, through your word, pray, and seeking wisdom from the Godly people that you place in our lives, you really do have the power to free us from captivity and bondage…thank you for preparing me for moments like this & giving me strength to draw on!” Even though transition may be painful, God is with you through it all, and he’ll take you to your promised land. Study his word, memorize favorite scriptures for time of need, know what things line up with the word of God and what things don’t line up with the word of God, pray in your words and your feelings, always seek Godly counsel from trusted people, and commit to fighting through the battle everyday & God will see you through. It will be hard, we’ll get knocked down, but we’re never knocked out. It may take 2 days, 2 months, 2 years, or a lifetime, but you’ll have the victory eventually! Heb 10:36 & Gal 6:9. I hope this helped somebody. God bless!
One Comment
daisy
I want to thank you for your testimony, especially since it hits so close to my heart. All my life I had save myself for marriage and it was something that I took such great pride in. I went through all my teen and college years fighting situations that would lead to temptation. I would say no to dating certain men, especially if I knew that it would only lead to one place with them. However, it all changed with one guy. I lost my virginity to him (I’m 23) after trying so hard to keep myself pure. I fell in love and i could not resist him. Even after things ended between us, I would fall right back into sin every time i saw him. This is something that I am still struggling with and fighting so hard with, especially because I really love the guy. I am so close to losing and giving up on a dream of going to grad school in a really good school just to stay with him. However, I know that if I stay close to him i will keep falling into sexual sin. I sometimes cry to God and ask that my emotions as a women may not blind me and I know that the best thing for me to do is to get away as much as possible in order to work on myself and my relationship with the Lord. I know that if you, a man, can resist such temptations, I know that I can as well. Perhaps it is because he is my first and only and my emotions run so deep in that sense, but I know that is not an excuse and it is still wrong before the Lord, especially because he is an unbeliever as well. Thank you again for your words of encouragement. I know that the Lord will clear my mind and heart and will guide me in the right direction.
God Bless you 🙂