Let’s face it: dating as a Christian single can feel like wandering through a labyrinth where every turn leads to questions like, “Have you prayed about it?” or “When are you getting married?” (Thanks, Aunt Karen.) In a rush to escape singleness and dive into a relationship, it’s easy to miss the warning signs that you might be sprinting when you should be strolling. So, grab your Bible and a cup of coffee (preferably decaf—you’ll need your wits about you), and let’s dive into the top five signs you’re rushing into a dating relationship, all served with a side of humor and grace.
1. You’ve Planned the Wedding Before the First Coffee Date
Ever caught doodling potential wedding hashtags in the margin of your sermon notes? (#SmithsServeTogether, anyone?) Or worse, you’ve already picked the font for the wedding invitations before your first coffee date at the local Christian café?
This is a classic sign of rushing. God calls us to be intentional, yes, but intentionality is not the same as prematurely mapping out your honeymoon itinerary. Proverbs 16:9 reminds us, “In their hearts, humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” Translation: slow down. God’s timing doesn’t need your Excel spreadsheet of potential baby names.
2. You’re Already “We” Instead of “Me”
You’ve only been talking for a week, but suddenly, every sentence you utter includes the word “we.” “We are thinking of attending the 9 AM service.” “We love that new worship album.” Sweetheart, who is this “we,” and do they pay rent in your head?
A healthy relationship doesn’t erase individuality. Remember, even Adam had time alone to name the animals before God introduced Eve. A solid foundation starts with knowing who you are in Christ as an individual. Philippians 1:6 assures us that God is at work in you personally, not just in some hypothetical “us” that may or may not include your crush.
3. You’re Ignoring Red Flags Like They’re Decorations
“He doesn’t really like going to church, but I can change him,” you say, confidently waving away the glaring red flag. Or maybe she has a tendency to treat waitstaff poorly, but “she’s just stressed right now.” Spoiler alert: these aren’t cute quirks; they’re indicators.
Rushing blinds you to these critical warning signs because you’re too focused on the “potential” rather than the reality. As Christians, we’re called to “test everything; hold fast to what is good” (1 Thessalonians 5:21). Translation: don’t mistake a glaring red flag for a decorative throw pillow. You’re not called to be someone’s Savior—that job is already taken.
4. You’ve Skipped Friend and Family Input
Ah, the classic “It’s just between us and God” defense. While it’s true that your relationship is ultimately accountable to God, Proverbs 11:14 reminds us, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”
Your friends and family can see things you might miss when your head is clouded by infatuation. If everyone from your best friend to your church small group leader is raising an eyebrow, it might be worth pausing to reevaluate. The people who love you want what’s best for you—and sometimes, that means a reality check.
5. You’re Sacrificing Your Standards
This one’s a doozy. You’ve always said you wanted to date someone who shares your faith, values purity, and has a strong prayer life. But suddenly, “He believes in a higher power, so that’s close enough,” or “She’s not into purity culture, but who is anymore?”
Rushing into a relationship often tempts us to compromise on the very standards we know God has set for us. Romans 12:2 urges us, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” God’s best for you will never require you to lower the bar He set.
How to Pump the Brakes
So, what do you do if you’ve identified yourself in these signs? First, breathe. The fact that you’re even reading this means you care about honoring God in your relationships, and that’s a great place to start.
- Pray for clarity: Ask God to reveal whether this relationship aligns with His plan for your life. Remember, He’s not just your matchmaker; He’s your guide.
- Seek accountability: Surround yourself with godly mentors and friends who can lovingly call you out when you’re moving too fast.
- Focus on your singleness: Singleness isn’t a curse; it’s a season. Use this time to grow in your relationship with Christ, pursue your passions, and serve others. When the right person comes along, you’ll be stepping into the relationship as a whole, confident individual.
- Revisit your standards: Write down the qualities you’re looking for in a partner—and stick to them. God’s best for you will meet those standards and then some.
In the end, relationships are a gift, not a race. God’s plan for your love life is worth the wait, even if it means enduring a few awkward family gatherings as the perpetually single cousin. So, embrace the process, trust His timing, and remember: if it’s of God, it won’t require you to rush.
Christian Singles Dating Advice
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