What Christian Single Girls Want in a Guy

#4
“Single Christian girls are looking for a guy who can provide a stable environment. Translation: A single woman finds a man appealing who has a steady job and loving relationships with his immediate family members. This shows the single Christian girl that the guy is dependable, consistent and able to provide for a family. This issue of provision is extremely important for a any single woman looking for a mate.”

wow. mostly i’m speechless. not to say that christian women who think this is this much of a big deal are spineless doormats, but this is the 21st century. an organized religious institution that promotes female submissiveness is to be destroyed. not that the christian church does this en masse. but there’s a vibe out there that reinforces women looking for the knight on a shiny white horse instead of stripping off her clothes and riding that godiva white horse to assert her femininity and independence.

well, not that i am condoning public nudity for all christian girls, 🙂 but come on. i’m a fan of dependable and consistent, but providing for a family? if yer choosing housewife, great. but being married to a house isn’t it for me.

#5
“Coming on in fifth place is the issue of physical attractiveness. Christian single girls relay that it’s important (but not most important) that they be somewhat physically attracted to the man they marry. In other words, when a single Christian girl looks upon you, she should find ”something” appealing about you physically. You may not be a Brad Pitt, but you almost certainly have at least one feature that is above average in appearance.”

fifth place is where a man should be “somewhat physically attracted” to the woman. first we tell women to look for a man to take care of them. then we lower women’s standards to settle for someone who doesn’t totally physically make you yearn for him while romping naked.

this advice is dangerous.

in touch,
holly

Holly: I understand where you are coming from that one might assume the author is suggesting Chrisitan women just look for financial security and it seems out-of-date. However, like Kerry, I also was married, divorced to an unequally yoked man. He was also dishonest and did not have many of the qualities on this list. He also cheated on his family. Having a man on fire for God is a good thing I belive. Hopefully,the person is being honest in their presentation of that and not just playing a role.
As for the financial security. I believe BOTH men and women should look for this. You never know what life may deal you… a divorce, being widowed, a disability of one spouse. Looking for someone with a decent job, responsibility, and integrity is not antiqued or behind the times. It does not mean necesssarily the man is going to be fully supporting the woman… although some couples do decide to go this route particulary when rearing younger children. I do agree a woman should be capable of and have the means to care for herself, but looking for a financial security and responsibility in a partner is a good quality and a wise thing to do.

As for physical attraction, I believe what the author is saying it’s not the first thing on the list. If it is you might have your priorities messed up in looking for a life partner. Yes, we all want the red hot attraction, but that doesn’t make a marriage work and often wanes over time. You can be attracted to people you have nothing in common with at all. But youu can still find someone attractive without the all-encompassing desire. Your attraction can grow for someone who you trust and you are in a secure relationship with. I have dated men who I don’t believe were the necessarily most atractive men, but they did something for me because of their physical qualities and the other qualities about their personality I found alluring (see the list above).

hi
I was a Moslem but I’m now a Christian of about 6 years.
I want to be married to a Christian girl, but I live in IRAN. Please help me. Thanks. Bye

What happens if the man I met has all the 4 values except the first? Would it be possible to get him return to God?

I don’t totally agree with what has been said. I’m 29 years old totally sold out for God

I’m in the same boat as Christian Girl. I do realize that a college relationship will probably not be my final one (I’m picky about who I date and have only had 1 boyfriend and 1 almost-bf). I’ve been praying about it and am listening for that whisper in my ear. It’s hard to be patient and let Him lead me.

Hi !
I read carefully the article regarding the 5 top qualities that a man should have for a healthy relationship. In fact I agree and as more I read….i see that in some areas i need to work and improve only through by the grace of God.

Hey Donna…thank you for the message because i believe the same thing….we should be complete and find our happiness in Christ first. I learned something important…that men should be bold and sometimes taking risks.

Blessings

Ps: Hey Kushtrim, I prayed for you firstly because we are brothers in Christ and secondly, since we are patriot 🙂

Christian single girls:the list seems to me quite guessed right. For me the 3rd point must be the 2nd important one, I love the men with sense of humor. And sincere, that is very important.

Noted, Thanks

regarding Christian single girls,I think in large part, Christian single women have no idea what they actually prioritize, and are largely informed by their culture much more than their faith community. The high value on security is a very western and largely american value to hold. The reality of God’s sovereignty never really touches on women’s sensibilities. Safety and Security are relative. If a guy is really passionate about the Lord, he is probably going to be doing work that is a) not very profitable in the eyes of the world (Galatians 1:10) b) worth being persecuted and even dying for, and certainly c) worth living in a way that favors simplicity and dependence over materiality and independence (1 Peter 4:12-13, Acts 2:32)
I’m not saying it’s wrong for a Christian to financially successful at all, but to do so in the pursuit of comfort or safety is kind of putting the cart before the horse. Job was probably the richest guy in the world, but in one horrible day he lost it all.

i think christian women want a man who genuinly loves Jesus, a man who is disciplined in his walk with the Lord but also not too legalistic, holy, seperated unto God balanced and humble…

Hi Cyndi,

I’m sure that the other people on this site will have a lot of insightful things to say to you. But I can tell you by experience that things will probably not get better with this guy. It is just a matter of whether to break it off now, or let it go on until things get worse.

In short, if he really loved you, he would not WANT you to compromise yourself. You have to make a decision that you are more valuable than he thinks you are, and break off the relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I know that this is not an easy thing to do. But Cyndi, I can tell you as a sister in the Lord, you are definately worth more to God than how this guy is treating you, and it is extremely important that you not do what this guy is begging you to do. Keep in mind also, although you may love him, he is doing none other than the devil’s work in your life. In this way he is not loving you back.

Please take a moment and read Psalm 139, which says “I am wonderfully and fearfully made.” This Psalm will help you to see what an incredible creation of God you are. You are worth waiting for, and when the right guy comes into your life, you will be so glad you didn’t give yourself over to the wrong guy.

I will pray for you about this. Please let us know how things go.

you have to be very careful,i think you should first make sure he loves the Lord with all his heart,soul and mind.that his beliefs match yours.a long dating time is not enough time to really get to know the guy,they never really show their true colors until they have you where they want you.you also have to watch out that they will trust you and don’t have a hang up in that area.I know because my husband has never trusted me and I never gave him a reason not to.we have been together 13 years,he is dying and is going still not trusting me.it’s very painful to live with aperson like this so be very careful girls.i have learned that to be alone is not so bad.

Totally agree with even steven guys. For the men reading this, point number one is that it is okay to be a MAN! As in, focus on yourself and your walk with God, and don’t look to women for approval, or as if they are the most beautiful thing on the planet that will save you from all your lonely feelings and shortcomings. Lay back, have some fun, and tease the woman (especially if she is drop dead gorgeous). Never admit love or a desire to marry someone until the relationship gets more serious. Discussions like that will kill the fun element early on and make you look desperate.

In fact, I would say don’t reveal too much early on. Part of being an attractive man is being somewhat mysterious, so do NOT “reveal your true feelings” early on, or you will be considered a wuss.

i really agree with this article..thats why theres no doubt that im a certified christian..hahaha..

Hello Peaches,

I agree with you in that men shouldn’t feel that they need to be unnecessarily sensitive to appeal to the opposite sex and that they definitely SHOULD NOT lean on their girlfriend and expect her to be their saving goddess; only GOD can save. That doesn’t mean that men should bottle their feelings and worries up inside, that isn’t healthy for either themselves or their relationships, and God blesses us with friendships to support us in times of trial.
However, I personally don’t agree with your idea that a man should hide his real self to create an attractive aura of mystery that is supposed to appeal to women. I want to know my friends, otherwise there is no trust.

I think the best thing to do is: ask God to help you improve daily in your walk with Christ and then be yourself! Not everyone has a sense of humour and it’s not the end of your world if you don’t; many people cannot be labelled as “physically attractive” by a stranger but the people who love them don’t even think about it because…what is beauty? If you look through the history books, people’s ideas on what beauty consists of change with the decades i.e. tan was in but now ‘pale is the new tan’, a tall woman was unattractive but now they’re more attractive etc. etc. how DARE we criticise God’s creation? He who lovingly formed us and chose our features?

Physical attraction confusing; I know people who are attractive but unlikable; I know people who are ‘unattractive’ but whose personality is very attractive; and yet I find myself desiring that everyone (myself included) be beautiful. Crazy. God puts up with a lot from me.

Thanks for chatting =)

Where is the advice of prayer? The ‘rules’ you read above are more secular than you might want to admit.

A girl should pray that God reveal her mate. Missing this step is the fundamental reason why Christians fail at anything. We want to do it ourselves and not rely on God. As a single guy, a girl who has focused on these five things, but not focused on the divinity of Jesus Christ, would be a spiritual turn off.

#4 – Stable Environment
1 Samuel 2:7 NIV
The LORD sends poverty and wealth; he humbles and he exalts.

Matthew 19:24 NIV
“Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”

What say you then to those who have no job? Do they not deserve Love? Is an unemployed man who is trusting God for an answer not worthy of a mate, even one who is struggling herself? We now face a world so overwhelmed with poverty, even in developed countries, that stability is difficult for even the well off to obtain. We’re also told that this strife will never end until the end of our days on this Earth. A single man or a single woman of mature age struggles to survive, because there is no one to share the burden of this world with.

Men were not designed to be successful without the help of a woman. If this were not true, God would have stopped with man and never created woman. We men often need a Loving woman in our live’s for us to be successful. If you seek a man who needs no help, why seek one at all? Are you lazy? Are you unsuccessful yourself and seeking answers in a ‘guy’ rather than in your God?

Remember that these five ‘rules’ are just what other women are looking for, not what God has for you and his path is narrow. It may be that you were meant to fall in Love with a ‘guy’ that is struggling financially, because he’s refusing his calling to a ministry and God needs you to help him with his revelation. It may be that God has it planned for you to fall in love with a ‘guy’ that was burned over 90% of his body and has no physical attraction at all, but God needs you to help him know Love still exists for him.

Know this one and ONLY rule ladies: trust in God or no God fearing man will trust you. The only word of advice you need for finding a mate is to pray that God reveal the one He has chosen for you. The ONE He has. Try to make the choice on your own, with your flesh and you will fail. This rule applies to both men and women.

I am a mature Christian woman, who has been married and single for extended periods of time. I am pretty attractive and meet ALL kinds of people, Christian and not so much..When I can’t tell the difference between a Christian man and a non believer in his dating method, namely I tell you nice things, we get to know each other and BAM, let’s have sex…I don’t know what to think other than all men want one thing. It is true, we are wired for sex, but my opionion is that people have “delayed” maturing and accepting responsbility for their growth and don’t know or want the full work of being in a committed relationship. There is a lot of inventory out there and woman are essentially “loose”, sorry for the candor..and men don’t have to wait..so woman in desperation will give sex for love and both parties are unaware of what love is.
The Bible says it is UNSELFISHNESS…yet most people have a list of what they want from the other. Yes, attraction is the beginning that and the best sex in the world will not keep two people together, in fact it will DESTROY the relationship because GOD’s will is that we align our lives to the Word. That’s why so much divorce and destruction of lives….Wait on HIM for the choice, HE will not give you someone who repulses you. ASK HIM…TRUST HIM…ASK HIM TO CHANGE YOU…INTO THE MAN OR WOMAN HE W ANTS U TO BE…
Get ready for no good thing will he withold from you.
IF WE TRUST HIM..

This is a fantastic article! I also put together an article called The Definitive Guide to Dating Christian Girls http://bit.ly/bcV6ut it’s a bit more on the sarcastic humorous side, that’s why I really appreciate your post here because it really hits the point home! Great job and I’m looking forward to checking out the rest of your blog!

I think this account is beautiful. I just want to say that if you put God first then He will find you the match He has specially made for you. Dont be discouraged if you feel being a christian demands too much because i felt that way once, now the Good Lord orders my footsteps.

Okay, I agree with the first four points generally. But, I would not really put them in a specific order. I do believe passion for the Lord and honesty with myself and others are probably most important, but then again, if I’m not physically attracted to this guy, he’s not the one. God has someone special laid out for me who is everything he needs to be to win my heart. While security is important, too, I would not say it is a make or break because I believe God will provide for us, including jobs and everything! But I definitely think physical attractiveness is more important than you make it sound. He doesn’t have to be attractive to everyone, but he must be amazing in every way for me to really fall in love and know he’s the one God chose for me <3

Well, I enjoyed reading both of your articles…I feel some of the views are are a bit skewed, but hey. I’m a passionate person for my Lord and my biggest desire is to find the right woman that would compliment that passion. ONLY one problem…I’m a complete sinner, I mean I screw up….am still growing….God is still working in my life as He promised through His Word/fellowship/worship. I mean I grew up the “bad” boy and have been working hard to overcome my shortcomings. I’ve never cheated, ever on a woman. I’m not a thief, or a jerk, but I have a past and do struggle. One thing that’s hard for a man is to Trust a woman…at least for me. Never had a problem finding a lady to find me attractive….guess I just have found the wrong ones.

The other thing…wow it’s tough to get a job in this economy when your laid off…guess I’m out of the game until God is ready for me to get back in. Good Luck and thanks for the article.

I will marry a jaw dropping gorgeous saved Christian woman. For those of you who (man or woman) think it’s an out of line priority to have a appearance at the top of your life you are either ugly yourself or don’t have the socioeconomic value to have someone like that. They are probably out of your league and you are giving advice based on your self image. Remember God created everyone, beautiful and ugly. You attract to you what you are not what you want. Get a backbone, God is awesome but I can’t stand weak Christians with a low self-image saying wanting to be with someone beautiful is incorrect just because you can’t pull it off. Appearance is at the top of my list, so that’s what I will get. Once again it’s also a requirement shes Saved and Walking daily with God on top of being jaw dropping gorgoeus!

Proverbs 18:21 Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.

Speak what you want and in due time it will come to pass.

You get what you confess!

It’s interesting I stumbled across this list; it’s actually something that I have been working myself up to for the past couple of years. I’m a young Christian man who is strong on what he believes; I know what I believe and why I believe. I’m not cocky, but I’m in shape. The Lord has blessed me with a decent job while I’m going to college, and I continue to build traits that will one day help support a family and wife. My problem is that I try to take girls and make them into the perfect one… It’s almost like a trap from the devil… I have tried it several; times, of course it always fails. I just get so impeccant; where I live it seems impossible to find the type of Christian girl I would like to marry. I pray for my future wife all the time, I pray that where ever she may be that she stays’s pure, as I have done for her, my gift to her, and that God will help her in all of her struggles she is facing right now. I just wish she could come sooner… I suppose I can’t tell the God of the universe how to do His job though

I seem to concur to your idea about the points you stated. Shallom!

A passage in the bible says that the disciple of Jesus cannot worship both God and money.

That means the true believers and follower of God is going to be put God first and his calling. Money and the accumulation thereof and the provision of a life of comfort is going to come in second place. When a man is married to his wife, his interest in God is divided. That means even if a man burns with passion and needs a wife, his interests and loyalties to God will be divided.

This means that the Christian women seeking a man to provide a good home, is not going to find the same commitment to good home-making, as the man who puts the pursuit of money above the pursuit of God.

Good Christian women would rather have a less devout wealthy man, than a more devout poor Christian man.
At the end of the day, money pays the bills and as we all know it is money which is the biggest factor in a collapsed marriage and possibly also because a spiritual union is not something which involves slipping a ring on a person’s finger and exchanging wedding vows. That is a secular wedding.

Long before secular weddings were even dreamed up by men, men and women were meeting, becoming joined spiritually through intimacy and friendship and then sleeping together. This was taking place long long before money was even conceived.

Are most Christian women this picky and shallow?

It’s no wonder men are no longer going to church……

I completely agree. I’ve lived in the Christian community all my life, and the majority of Christian girls are pretty much exact matches to this, including my sister.

sex and children are the keys of marriage. so one must wait till marraige

Actually, the real issue is that our society has become shallow since the 1950’s due to mass marketing and crass consumerism. Thus, the emphasis on the exteranal (physical appearance, $ and perception) as opposed to the internal (moral values/integrity and work ethic).

i am a christian guy, and frankly speaking all the girls that have come my way have been giving me hell. so for now i have decided to remain as i am till the right person can come. i luv singing and playing the piano eventhou i am still learning it. and i need a christian girl who will understand me and respect God with fear. thanks for your tips

There are plenty of single Christian women at my church. I have been asked out by single moms, divorcees, and women who are older or heavier then me – but I refused them all. The regular Christian women are too picky…I’ll probably get a wife from overseas.

I am a man of God, I have lost my wife seven month now I am looking for another God fearing woman. For ministry needs a backup of a very strong influential woman full of courage and hope.some one that will make me happy when I am down like now, I promise to do likewise. God I am waiting

If you keep to Gods standard to a relationship and Marriage and devote to each other without ever entering in selfish desires that destroy trust and cause pain. Jesus was the perfect representation of a bridegroom and passionate about us and his Father GOD…. Why notuse those principles and act more than talk about what a man and a womens role to a working Marriage relationship. Some messages here are humans way of thinking…on how a relationship goes…cause they talk about how he or she was unfaithful…….Unfaithful start in the faith…..the faith in God we have we come out in our walk and in the marriage…..but if a man or women starts to desire other things that bring a block to the marriage……The faith in the relationship starts to break apart…..Trusting in God ….following his principles….and both work hard at the relationship….it cant fail…….what fails is stupidity…thinking you dont need God or daily fighting for your partner…in prayer……daily conversating with eath other…daily doing things together…..that keeps a marrige going strong…..this femineme crap is not in the bible……and is the one cause of men leaveing relationship cause the women does not pray…does not allow him to lead as the bible says men to to lead his family…..Men strive on fighting…and will fight for what they want….but take that athority from him and….he fails!….. KEPP TO GODS STANDARDS AND PRINCIPLES LIKE its your last day and have passion about serving God with all men and women……and watch even the dead relationship will get restored…..but both need to work on it!

Looks like I’m in the same boat as you guys…

I once knew this single Christian girl at my church. She crossed off everything I was looking for in a potential partner; goes to church, good with kids, smart, modest, and even was fit with blonde hair, blue eyes and pale skin (which is my physical preference).

However, I never once felt attracted to her. I thought this was just out of nervousness, but that never changed despite how many times I talked to her.

We never dated, but I’m glad I didn’t, because I found out that she was a low-key gold digger who was only interested in me (and her past BF of 4 1/2 years) for our potential to become rich and successful men.

I was very disappointed by this, but I learned a valuable lesson; I can easily find a girl who can cross off everything on my superficial list, but it all means nothing if she does not have God at the center of her life.

However, this does not mean that I am innocent either. I have kept God’s word and stayed pure for a potential future marriage, yet I have had times where I was only interested in girls for their physical appearances and nothing more. This is something that I am only now overcoming since this makes me just as shallow as these gold-digger girls.