Christian Singles Secrets

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Many Christian singles walk around with the burden of carrying personal secrets bottled up deep in their hearts. Whether the secrets are unconfessed sexual sins, painful memories, regrets, shame-filled experiences or totally whacked out thoughts, God did not design us to deal with such raw issues by ourselves.

From the Garden, the Lord created mankind for intimate fellowship with no room for secrets. Adam’s hiding from God after eating of the fruit is the Bible’s first recorded secret. Do you ever wonder what God would have done if Adam and Eve confessed their little “secret” instead of hiding from their Lord? Anyway, we have been keeping secrets ever since, with negative consequences for ourselves and our relationships with others.

The Bible has a neat answer to secret keeping: It’s called confession. Over and over in Scripture, we see see a connection between honest confession and spiritual, emotional and physical healing:

• If you confess your sins to God, He promises forgiveness and spiritual cleansing (1 John 1:9).
• Lack of confession leads to physical and emotional turmoil; honest acknowledgement to God brings relief of guilt (Psalms 32-2-5).
• While only God can forgive, He wants us to confess our sins to each other so that we may pray for each other and experience healing (James 5:6)

Only recently has modern psychology caught up with the Bible in terms of connecting private confession with physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing. Dr. James Pennebaker, psychology professor at Southern Methodist University, documents a study which found that confessing our secrets can be good for the soul, lower blood pressure, lessen depression and increase your general sense of wellbeing.

There is certainly no reason why we should not confess our secrets to our Lord, who loves (John 3:16) and sympathizes with us despite knowing all about us (Hebrews 4:13-15).

Despite the fact that confession leads to healing, there are many reasons why single Christians fail to confess secrets to others, whether they be a lack of an appropriate outlet, fear, embarrassment or unreal expectations from our own churches.

In light of the above, you are invited to confess your secrets anonymously to Christian-Dating-Service-PLUS. We don’t need to know your name in order to have our single Christian readers pray for you. You will never be contacted unless you desire followup prayer and counsel. Our prayer is that we will all be encouraged by each other’s words.
There are several ways to post your secrets or confession:

• Simply leave a written comment right on this post
• E-mail us your written or recorded post secret via a mp3 file.
• If you only have a CD, we will provide you with an appropriate address to mail your post secret.

Note: Any audio recording will be aired over our radio station and/or podcasted through our site.

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Mandisa Single Christian Off American Idol

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American Idol just lost Mandisa Hundley, arguably the best singer on the show. Why did America kick Mandisa out? Was it Mandisa’s performance last week, or something more sinister? My one friend put it this way: “Mandisa had three strikes against her. She was black, fat and a single Christian who couldn’t keep her mouth shut about Jesus. Three strikes and you’re out. The cumulative effect of those three did Mandisa in.”

For starters, I really do not believe race had a factor in Mandisa’s American Idol departure. Afterall, two of the last three American Idols have been African-American: Ruben Studdard and Fantasia Barrino. So that leaves us with the two other variables, Mandisa’s unabashed faith in Jesus and her weight problem.

So did America kick Mandisa off American Idol because of her love for Jesus? Both Ruben and Fantasia were also outward Christians. Of course, that’s not to say some folks were not put off by Mandisa sharing her faith on stage. Afterall, Jesus told us the world would hate us because we are His (John 15:18). Yet, there are definitely many Christians (like myself) watching the show too, so I suppose that balances things out.

Finally, we come to Mandisa’a weight, which has been an issue on national television and the internet. Early on in the American Idol competion, Simon Cowell rudely suggested the show would need a bigger stage to accommodate Mandisa’s sizable girth. In her American Idol web page, Mandisa also mentioned that “…my battle with weight has been the biggest struggle of my life. But I am overcoming day by day and will be victorious.”

So what part did Mandisa’s “struggle” play in America dissing her? It’s really hard to tell. With a recent ABC poll suggesting that over 50% of Americans are overweight, one would have expected the audience to empathize with Mandisa. But culturally, people are much more tolerant and accepting of an obese guy over an overwight gal. That’s just the way it is.

Mandisa’s Example

Overall, we may never find out why Mandisa left American Idol. But that doesn’t really matter: She is definitely going to be a successful singer. What does matter is that Mandisa, a Christian single woman, practiced humility, love and faith in Jesus in front of millions of viewers, and left a positive impression. Read her fan mail, and you will see what I mean.

As single Christians in this world, how are we living out our faith?

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Where Christian Singles Meet Other Singles

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Ever wonder where Christian Singles meet other single Christians for dating and/or courting relationships? I know some lonely Christian single guys in one of the small groups I lead who sure do. A typical question in our support group goes along these lines: “So how do I go about meeting a nice Christian girl?”

Since we we were curious ourselves (aren’t you guys?), we decided to do some research on the Internet. What we found was quite interesting. For example, In 2003 American Demographics surveyed over 1500 engaged couples to find out how they found each other. Here are the results:

Top Ways Singles Meet

Friends/Relatives…65%
Online Dating Services…20%
Common Interest Activities…10%
Other…5%

So what are single Christians supposed to do with these findings?

Start by noticing that each one of the top ways singles meet other singles is through their doing something.

In Matthew 7, Jesus encourages us to practice a proactive type of faith when he stated “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”

Of course, our Lord could answer a single Christian’s simple prayer, and supernaturally drop their perfect match into their laps. That would be cool. But more often than not, He wants us to stretch our faith by putting us into a position of prayerful “seeking and knocking”.

I realize there are some Christians who feel that by their inaction they are being spiritual and submissive to the Lord’s will for their lives. But our God is a God of action, and He calls us to imitate Him, as long as we do so in faith and humility.

A Single Christian’s Practical Steps

Therefore, in light of the above singles dating survey here are some practical faith-filled steps a Christian single interested in dating could take:

1. Circulate your stock. Let your family and friends know you are seeking a mate, and ask them to keep an eye open for you. Don’t be embarassed, but just step out in faith. Unless you express your needs they can’t help you. Remember that they know you the best, and may be able to spot a good match for you.

2. Step out of your comfort zone. Each year more and more single Christians are using online Christian dating services. Consider doing the same. On this site you will find the top Christian Matchmaking sites, most of which offer free trial memberships. A neat positive about online dating is that you can search databases for the exact type of person you are seeking to meet. Just make sure you read about online saftey dating tips.

3. Take time to join in on some fun activities that you enjoy. This could be as simple as attending a church singles group, hobby club, fitness club or sporting event. These are natural ways to meet other singles in your area of passion and interest.

4. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Diversify your efforts by putting all of the above into action.

5. Finally, keep a positive attitude as you claim God’s promises for your life (Psalms 37:4, Jer. 29:11, Prov. 3:5,6). Remember, He is in control and knows exactly what you need and when you need it. Has He ever failed you in the past?

Are you a Christian single or recently engaged, and want to share your dating experiences? Make your comments about how Christian Singles meet other singles right here.

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